Forgiveness is a Virtue
by samekraemer
Summary: At one time or another, everyone has been hurt. Edward Cullen is no exception, having been hurt many times in his life. Losing people he loved seemed to be a pattern, and the only way to exorcise the pain was to write about it. What that book brought into his life was a shock. What came after was even more of a shock. THIS IS SLASH. E/J; OOC; AH; RATED M.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: SMeyer owns. I don't infringe. I'll remind you, this is J/E SLASH. If you don't like slash, don't read it and don't come at me about it. I love this story, and if you like slash, I hope you'll love it as well.

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1. Resurrecting the Demons

EDWARD

As I sat in the small, lavish, waiting room, I thought back to what had brought me there in the first place. In the never-ending quest of trying to process the second most devastating event in my life, I'd decided it was better to put it down on paper.

Once I opened the floodgate and a new _Word_ document, it poured out of me and onto the page…five-hundred, twenty-four of them to be exact.

I'd written a book about a heart-breaking experience and how it had changed me from the fun-loving, carefree college student I'd been to the angry, mistrusting man I'd become.

The '_what-ifs_' had ripped at my confidence for years…what if I'd been ten-minutes later, would I have even known it had happened? What if I'd been ten-minutes earlier, could I have prevented it from happening at all? What if I'd stayed and allowed him to explain to me why he'd done what he'd done, could I have forgiven him?

_I was whistling as I walked down the hallway to the small, one-bedroom apartment I shared with the love of my life, Jasper Whitlock. We'd met the first day of college when we were sharing an elevator loaded with boxes. We were both moving into the dorm, and we were happy when we found out we were on the same floor. _

_After freshman year, we decided to get out of the dorms and move into our own apartment because we'd embarked on a relationship which we didn't want to share with others, though my poor, freshman-year roommate had seen a lot more than he wanted when we'd forgotten to tie the sock on the door knob. _

_It was a bit intimidating to think about people knowing I was sleeping with a guy, but Jasper was down-right petrified his family would find out, so we were best friends during the day and lovers at night. I could live with the arrangement because I was just happy to have him to myself. _

_Meeting Jasper was an amazing experience. It was as if we'd known each other for years. Conversations flowed between us as if we'd been lifelong friends. It was easy…hell, everything about Jasper was easy. That was probably what I found so appealing about him in the first place…he felt at home in his own skin and it rubbed off on everyone around him. _

_That feeling was foreign to me when I was around people, being a bashful boy…as my mother used to tell me. She always told me I'd grow out of it, and as my friendship with Jasper grew, I began to believe it. I just wished she and my dad would have been around to witness it._

_I heard music from inside the apartment, and I laughed because Jasper was notorious for leaving the stereo on when he was running late for class. That morning, he'd been running late because we made love in the shower instead of getting our asses ready for school. I'd been chewed out by my Statistics professor for being late for my final, but I didn't care. He let me take it, and I was sure I'd done well. I just wanted to find my boy and celebrate._

_I unlocked the door and went to the kitchen to grab a soda because I had one more final that afternoon, and I needed the caffeine boost. I heard a commotion from the direction of the bedroom, and I was worried someone had broken in. We had a lot of computer equipment in our place because Jasper was a computer science major, and if anyone dared steal any of his equipment or compromised it in any way, I knew he'd have a fit._

_I went to the hallway closet and found the baseball bat we kept there, slipping off my sneakers so I wouldn't be heard. I'd never been in a fight before, but I was prepared to beat the living shit out of anyone who had the balls to violate the sanctity of our home._

"_God, yesss," I heard hissed. That was a bit odd unless the thief had found one of Jasper's vintage Atari games which would fill out a collection. _

"_Almost…I'm almost there," I heard moaned. I definitely recognized __**that**__ voice, so I lowered the bat and stepped into the doorway of our bedroom._

_There was the man I loved with his jeans and boxers around his ankles, still in my Bob Marley t-shirt. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed as he pounded into someone. I took a step further into the room, trying to keep from screaming. When I saw who he was pounding into, I became unhinged._

"_You motherfucking son-of-a-bitch," I yelled. _

_His head quickly whipped around, and his movement stopped. "Edward, baby…" he began, not even bothering to pull out of the…woman. The woman he was fucking on our bed…on the quilt that had been a wedding gift to my parents many years ago. On the bed we made love in nearly every night._

"Mr. Masen, Mrs. McCarty will see you now," the perky receptionist instructed, pulling me from the memories. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my palms were sweaty just at the thoughts. It wasn't the best time for me to take a tortured stroll down memory lane.

I rose from my seat, adjusted my tie and jacket, and grabbed my leather bag to follow her down a short hallway to a large door. She knocked twice and when the door opened, I was surprised to be greeted by a beautiful blonde woman impeccably dressed in a blood red suit. Her bright blonde hair was twisted up fashionably, and her bright blue eyes echoed the big smile on her face.

"Mr. Masen, please come in. I'm Lillian McCarty. It's a pleasure to meet the man behind so much creativity."

I walked inside the lush office and took her extended hand, shaking it. "Mrs. McCarty, it's a pleasure to meet you. I must say, I'm a bit surprised you're so young. I'd have assumed the president of a successful publishing house would have been much older," I explained because I was sure the look on my face gave away my shock.

She laughed and extended her hand for me to take a seat as she strolled back behind her desk and sat down. "I get that a lot, but I think you're overestimating just how successful we_ are._ The house was my mother's baby. My brother and I recently took over the reins because she and Dad wanted to travel. She's still involved, but not in the day-to-day details. We're not as well-known as _Swan_, but we're making inroads in the market.

"So, let's get down to it, okay? What made you decide to leave the mystery genre and write a book like this? I've read your Caine Winslow mysteries since they first hit the shelves and I understand your last book is now on its second printing. Why didn't you take this book to _Swan Publishing?_ Bella didn't tell me you'd severed your relationship with them," she inquired.

I remembered the discussion Bella Swan and I had after I gave her the draft of the story to read.

"_Edward, as your publisher for the last five years, and your friend since junior year of college, I have to tell you the truth. I believe you're making a mistake by writing gay erotica. I mean, the story is a great one, but I just don't see me being able to get Dad to proceed with it. We're much more main stream here, and it's just not a direction I see him wanting to go," she explained. I knew it was a risk, but the story, or rather the memories, just wouldn't let me go._

"_Okay, how about another, less main stream publisher? You've got connections, Bella. I really want to get it published," I implored._

_She sat for a moment and drummed her fingers on my kitchen table. "Can I give this to a friend of mine? She's at a small publishing house and they have a division that publishes erotica. I'll get her feedback and call you," she responded. _

_Bella called me a week later with the meeting time set, and we discussed some of her concerns, but at the end of the day, she'd handed it off to the head of Thorn Publishing. That was how I ended up sitting in the woman's office that day._

"Ah, well, we haven't severed our relationship, _per se_, but this type of story isn't one _Swan_ would be interested in publishing and promoting. I still owe them a final Caine Winslow book, but I've yet to come up with a plot. Bella has agreed, as long as this book is published under a penname, it's not a conflict if another house wants to publish it. The only stipulation is _Swan_ would prefer my picture not appear on the jacket, and frankly, I feel the same way."

It was far too intimate a story for me to publicly acknowledge it was autobiographical. It was being marketed as a work of fiction, and only a handful of people would know it to be anything else.

Mrs. McCarty glanced at her computer and clicked on something before she smiled a bit and looked back at me. "That's not a problem. We generally find, when marketing erotica, it's rare a story reaches a level of fame where it would be necessary for book tours or a media blitz. The level of acceptance of the genre has only just started taking off with the advent of a certain BDSM trilogy's success. I'm not saying this book couldn't reach that level of success, but the demand for gay erotica has only just started taking off. Once the housewives of America dipped their toes in the pool of sexually explicit fiction, they've become more willing to look at other pairings rather than simply male/female."

"Well, I've only been able to find gay erotica on-line, so I'm hoping maybe this book can pave the way for other authors to follow. Society has become more accepting of alternative lifestyles, so maybe it's time it stopped being a dirty little secret," I suggested.

"Well, let's hope so. I, uh, I've got a few questions," she responded, moving her finger on her laptop. Her lips moved slightly as she read something before she looked up to me with a smile. "Ah, okay, at the beginning of the story, the character, Ethan, is immediately smitten with Jeremy when they meet on the elevator. Do you feel that's believable…that 'all-consuming, love at first sight' aspect?" I thought back to the first time I laid eyes on Jasper Whitlock.

"_Hey, would ya hold that elevator?"_

_I reached up to grab the door and stuck out my head, seeing a blonde-haired guy in a pair of basketball shorts and a holey t-shirt racing across the lobby of the dorm building. His hair was longer and pulled back in a ponytail, and his eyes were covered with a pair of aviator sunglasses. He was well-built and suntanned, and I didn't think I'd ever seen a more handsome guy in my life, not that I spent a lot of time looking at men._

_He walked in and dropped the box on my foot, causing me to dance around a bit. "Shit, man, I'm sorry. This has been a crappy day all around. You okay?" he asked as the bell inside the elevator chimed because we'd had the door open for too long._

"_I'm fine. Moving sucks, doesn't it?" I asked him, uncharacteristically attempting small talk. I wasn't one to talk to strangers, ever, but there was definitely something about the guy that put me at ease._

"_Man, that's an understatement. Jasper Whitlock," he responded as he stuck out his fist. I assumed it was for me to "bump" which was ridiculous, but I did it anyway._

"_Edward Masen. What floor?" I asked since I was standing by the control panel._

_He reached into the pocket on his t-shirt and pulled out a piece of paper. "Four, please." He looked up to see the button was already illuminated and he turned to me and smiled. "You on that floor as well?"_

"_Yeah, 404. You?" Every cell in my body was praying he was my roommate. I'd been resistant to contact the stranger I'd been assigned to share with because I was sure if I didn't like the guy, I'd work myself into an ulcer and chicken out of even attending the school. _

_It was my parents' dream for me to attend college, and after their deaths in a car accident, my Aunt Esme made it job one to keep me on track. It was mainly due to her love and support I'd accepted the scholarship from University of Washington instead of my father's alma mater, Dartmouth. I wanted to be closer to her and my uncle, so I chose to stay close to home…well, at least within driving distance._

"_I'm in 406. Guess we're gonna be neighbors. So, you from Seattle?" he asked._

"_Chicago actually, but I moved to the area a couple of years ago after my parents were killed in an accident. My aunt and uncle live in a small town a few hours away, and since they're my guardians, I wanted to be close. You?"_

"_With this accent? Naw. I'm from New York, but I was born in Texas and spent the summer down there helpin' my grandparents. That's why the accent's so damn thick. It'll simmer down once I get used to bein' around people who actually speak in full sentences. I didn't want to be too close to home for college, so I decided to haul my ass all the way across the country. Can't get much farther away and stay on the continent, ya know?" We both laughed and agreed. _

_When the door opened, we both stepped into the hallway and walked in the direction of our rooms. Just as we both slipped our keys in the locks, Jasper turned to look at me and pulled off the sunglasses. "I think we're gonna have a great year, Edward." It was in that moment when I looked into his bright blue eyes I felt my heart skip a beat. I will always believe that's the moment I fell in love with him._

I snapped out of the memory when I heard Mrs. McCarty's nails drumming on top of her desk. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get my thoughts together. Based on the astronomical way in which the relationship implodes, I thought it was for the best the two have an instant chemistry. I believe it adds to the tension when I…Ethan walks into the bedroom and catches Jeremy with a woman." Hell, I knew it did for me.

"Oh, okay. That makes sense. So, the scene when Ethan kisses Jeremy the first time…I'm curious why you chose not to make it a drunken kiss and then build the tension from there. You know, Ethan waits for Jeremy to acknowledge it actually happened but Jeremy pretends he doesn't remember to avoid the conversation? Why'd you take the direction of having the two of them get into an argument regarding a pair of boxer shorts?"

I laughed. That was a warm memory for me, and it still made me smile.

"_Why are you wearing my boxers?" I asked as we stood in the laundry room of our dorm on a Sunday night, seeing the waistband of my boxers sticking out from Jasper's jeans. _

_I'd actually taken him home with me for the weekend to meet my aunt and uncle. We'd had such a great time, and it was becoming harder and harder to keep from telling him I had feelings for him other than friendship. He hadn't dated anyone in the five months we'd been at school, and we spent all of our time together, so if he was interested in a girl, I was sure I'd know it._

"_Oh, when I got out of the shower this morning, I figured out I was out of boxers. You were downstairs in the kitchen with your aunt, so I went out of the bathroom on your side and snagged a pair from your bag. You always pack a lot of shit when you go home, so I knew you'd have an extra pair. I'll wash 'em right now," he explained as he began unbuttoning his pants. The idea of him standing in the laundry room without any pants on made my dick hard, and the sleep pants I was wearing were tenting embarrassingly._

"_No! Just…just keep them on. It's rude to go into someone's personal things and take what you want, Jasper. I don't go into your room and TAKE YOUR SHIT!" I shouted, trying to divert his eyes away from my boner._

_He appeared to be shocked, which wasn't a surprise because I wasn't one to yell at anyone. He quickly took off his jeans and whisked down the boxers, throwing them at me with no warning. They landed on my head, but they didn't cover my eyes because I saw he was just as hard as me._

"_Don't be a prick about it, okay? I'm sorry. It's just…I just…" he mumbled as he pulled his jeans back on, stuffing his hard cock into his pants. It was too late, the damage was done. I pulled the underwear off my head and took the two steps to cover the space between us. I grabbed his face with my hands, and pulled it to me, planting my lips against the beautiful pink mouth that had haunted my dreams and my thoughts since the day I met him._

_The surprise was when he grabbed my hips and pulled me into his body, rubbing his erection against mine, bringing a moan from both of us. His tongue slid along my bottom lip and I opened up to allow him entrance. In that moment, everything else disappeared. It was me and Jasper, and no one else existed in the world._

"Well, I can't really say why that plot point came up, but I liked the idea. So, before we continue to dissect everything, which I have no problem doing, are we going to pursue a business relationship, or are we just wasting each other's time?" Discussing the book brought back the memories, and if she was just being nosy because she was a fan of my mystery novels, I was going to make short work of the meeting.

Suddenly, there was a loud clatter from another room, and then her computer dinged loudly. She hit a button and laughed. "Fine!" she shouted and then looked up at me with surprise. "I'm sorry, it's just that _some people are very impatient_," she stated loudly.

"Yes, Mr. Masen, we're very interested in your book. Ordinarily, I'd have requested you bring your agent, but my brother isn't available to meet with us today, so if you leave your information with my assistant, we'll contact your people and hammer out the details, but we very much want you to sign with us for this book and any future of the same genre.

"Now, let's skip ahead to the cheating scene. I'm curious why you didn't have Ethan and Jeremy talk about it. Why did Ethan just take off and move to Alaska? If they loved each other so profoundly, wasn't the relationship worth at least fighting for? You don't give a reason why Jeremy slept with Annie in the first place, which leaves the relationship unresolved.

"Ethan moves on in his life, but Jeremy's memory doesn't dim in his mind. Ethan has a series of one-night stands before he finally meets Alec, but even that relationship doesn't discount Jeremy's memory in Ethan's mind. He and Alec make a life, but it doesn't feel like an H-E-A. It just feels like Ethan settled. Will there be a sequel? Maybe something from Jeremy's point-of-view?" she asked.

How could I tell her she was spot on in her assessment without letting her know it wasn't a happy ever after because I hadn't ever gotten over Jasper, much to the dismay of my last lover, Aro, a/k/a Alec. We decided to break up because I couldn't care for him as he cared for me, and the worst part was I wasn't really unhappy about it when he left me.

"What? Do you mean a sequel where Ethan runs into Jeremy and they get back together, living that H-E-A you referred to? Mrs. McCarty, real life doesn't work that way, does it? I was going for a bit of reality, along with a lot of sex. I suppose if you insist on wrapping up the Ethan/Jeremy relationship in a pretty package, I can try to work one up, but I'm not sure how Ethan would resolve the issues he'd have with Jeremy if they did, indeed, come into each other's lives again.

"How would Ethan trust Jeremy again? What could Jeremy possibly tell him to erase the heart-wrenching pain he'd inflicted on the man who loved him more than life itself? The profound heartbreak I…Ethan…suffered at walking in on his lover, the man he believed to be his soul mate, while he was fucking a woman would be very difficult to forgive." I felt tears welling in my eyes, so I looked down, hoping she didn't see them.

I cleared my throat and decided to throw her a bone. "Maybe I can rework the Alec/Ethan relationship and give it more energy? I realize it's rather one sided, but maybe Ethan can put more effort into the relationship so it feels like he's healed enough to be able to move on."

She didn't seem happy. "Well, that's one way to go, but you're still going to need a reason why Jeremy cheated. Otherwise, how would Ethan be able to get over it without it seeming as though the relationship didn't mean as much to him as he'd initially stated," she assessed.

She looked at her computer again, and I decided she was too preoccupied with something else for me to rip open my heart and spill the pain I felt every time I thought of Jasper, for her to pick through it.

"Mrs. McCarty, why don't you let me get you a draft with the Alec/Ethan relationship tweaked a bit? I'll consider everything you've said, and I'll see if we can reach a middle ground," I stated as I began gathering my things to leave.

"Mr. Masen, you can tell me to fuck off, but the emotions in this manuscript are so poignant, I can't help but believe a lot of this comes from personal experience. I get the impression someone you loved and trusted was careless with your heart. Am I right?" she pried.

I was about to lash out at her and to tell her to, indeed, fuck off. I looked up at her so she'd see, in no uncertain terms, I wasn't going to share anything personal with her, but when I looked into her eyes, there were unshed tears and some sort of pain I didn't understand.

My anger immediately vanished. "Mrs. McCarty, are _you_ able to see the emotion because it's something you've experienced yourself?"

She reached for a tissue and quickly dried her eyes. "Actually, I have experience with both sides of the coin. I had a boyfriend back in high school who cheated with a friend, but I was young and it wasn't really true love. It did, however, leave an impression.

"But, that's not why I can see the pain in you. Someone I'm very close to cheated on someone who didn't deserve it. Not only was that person hurt, my friend was nearly destroyed by the guilt. Life is too short to live with so much pain and regret, I believe."

She was so sincere, it touched me deeply. "What happened to your friend?" I asked.

"I think that's something to be…" she began.

Just then, a door opened behind her and I lost the ability to breath.

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Thank you for reading.

Till next time…xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

2. Lead Me Not into Temptation

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JASPER

_The Week Before the Meeting_

"Come in," I responded to the knock as I hung up the phone. I'd just talked to Alice about the visitation schedule. She had a trip to New York coming up unexpectedly that weekend, and she wanted to take Jacob with her so they could go visit my parents while they were in town. I thanked her for even considering it, hoping it would get them off my back for a while. They didn't approve of much in my life, but they did love my son and I was grateful for that.

Rosalie walked in with a ream of paper held in her crossed arms. "I've got something I want you to read, and then you and I are going to have a heart to heart, Jasper. I'm going to guess you'll want to pursue this one, and it's going to take both of us selling it to Mom and Dad because it's a direction I doubt they'll approve," she stated as she sat down in the leather chair across from my desk, picking at something on her skirt to keep from looking me in the eye. That was definitely a red flag.

"What direction?"

The woman was infuriating with the way she approached me regarding something she didn't want to talk about but had no choice. "Erotica," she answered.

I laughed. "We already do erotica, Rose. Don't you read what we put on the shelves? I've got four authors who are pumping out dirty stories almost every month." I worked with the writers directly and Rosalie handled the business side of the publishing house.

When Mom decided she wanted to stop managing the day-to-day aspects, she put Rose and me in charge of it with big decisions having to go by her and Dad. Our condition was we'd handle business from Seattle, not New York. Neither of us wanted to live in the same city as our parents because they weren't exactly supportive of my lifestyle, and Rose took it personally.

We were twins, and we had a deep connection. We might fight with each other, even at the age of twenty-eight, but we stood by each other. I could always count on Rosalie, and she knew she could always count on me.

"Not that kind of erotica, Jas. _Gay erotica_. I know you've had exposure to it, Porn King," she chided, referring to the time she used my laptop and hit on my favorites. I couldn't help it. I was a sucker for _Star Wars_ fanfiction, and when I stumbled onto a story where Luke and Han got it on, I was hooked and never looked back.

That was actually how I found some of our current erotica authors. I'd troll fanfiction sites, and when I found a good story, I got in touch with the author and solicit them to offer original stories. It was a great way to discover new talent, and it had worked for us when we decided to expand the romance line to include erotica. Nothing had really taken off yet, but every publisher hoped to discover a diamond in the rough.

"That was strictly for business development," I joked, having had the argument with her more than once.

"Whatever, pervy. Anyway, I had lunch with Bella Swan the other day, and before you start bitching about it, don't. She and I have become friends since we both signed up to work on the reading initiative for Seattle Public Schools, and we have a lot in common. Besides, she's not a threat to our business because she's on a whole other playing field than us. But, I think this book could be just what we've been looking for to give us more exposure and credibility," she stated as she flopped a thick manuscript on my desk.

"Can't I get it on a portable drive? That's a waste of paper," I complained.

She cocked an eyebrow. "When did you become such a tree hugger? Besides, the author doesn't know Bella handed it off to me yet. There's no way she'd give me an electronic copy without permission. Anyway, read this over the weekend and give me a call. You're going to want to talk to me about it after you finish it." Again, with the cryptic bullshit?

I picked it up and saw it was untitled and there wasn't an author's name on the front. "Who wrote it?"

"It's one of their big names, but she's guarding the identity until we make a decision whether we're interested or not. If we are, I think we need to move quickly. You have Jake this weekend?" she asked as I tossed it into my open briefcase.

"Actually, Alice has a thing in New York, so she's taking him to visit Mother and Father while she's there. I truly owe her a car for being willing to deal with 'em," I responded.

"Ain't that the truth? I still say, if you'd have been honest with everyone in the first place, things might have gone a whole different direction. Telling them you're gay and then calling them the next month to tell them you knocked up a chick sort of sends mixed signals, Jasper." I knew that, and I didn't need her reminder.

"Rosalie, JR was never going to accept me being gay, regardless of anything else. And you know why I told them. I thought I would get the chance to rectify my actions with _him_ and I didn't want any more secrets. When I found him, I wanted to be able to tell him I was ready to go public.

"I wanted to explain to him why I did what I did, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life making it up to him. It didn't work out that way because he dropped out and moved away. His aunt and uncle wouldn't return my calls and when I went to see them, they refused to tell me where he'd gone.

"All they told me was I'd broken his heart and the kindest thing I could do was to leave him alone. I'm sorry I listened to them. I'll regret it for the rest of my fucking life."

My colossal fuck up was never far from my mind, and I didn't appreciate her reminding me of it in the middle of a work day. Those memories only led to me wanting to fall into the nearest bottle, and I'd actually been sober for three years. It took Alice threatening to never let me see Jake again after she came to pick him up and found me hung over with Rosalie babysitting to make me get my shit together. I truly did owe Alice a debt of gratitude on many fronts but I didn't want to think about it at the moment.

"You should try to find him, Jasper. You guys were together for two years. You were a dick for cheating on him just to see if you were really gay before you called Mom and Dad, but it's been eight years. Maybe he'd be ready to listen?" she suggested.

I sat up and looked at her harshly. "It's too late. I doubt he'd even remember me, and if he did, I'm the last person he'd want to see. He's a successful author now, Rose. That ship has sailed. Now, I'm leaving early so I can hit a meeting on my way home. I'll call ya," I snapped as I grabbed my things and walked out for the day.

When I got to my truck, I pulled out my phone and flipped through my favorites, seeing there was a meeting I could make if traffic wasn't too bad. Thankfully, it was near my house so at least I was heading in the right direction.

Just as I pulled into traffic, my phone chimed. When I hit the first red light, I looked around the neighborhood, seeing one of my old haunts which brought the memory of the burn of whiskey in my mouth and throat to the front of my mind.

I remembered getting my ass kicked in that bar for hitting on some other guy's boyfriend because he had hair similar to Edward's and green eyes that weren't quite right but would have been acceptable to try to get the memory of Edward out of my head.

_I was cleaning out my dresser because I had finally gone shopping and bought myself some presentable clothes for my job as a proofreader at a software company. I didn't write programs any longer because I didn't stay sober long enough to be able to write code, but I could proofread the FAQs and the user manuals just fine. It wasn't going to make me rich, but after I got fired from three jobs for being drunk at work, I knew I needed to sort of get my shit together. I cut down on drinking during the week and on the weekends when I had Jake, but when I didn't have him, I basically camped out at a bar._

_The night in question found me drowning my sorrows because when I'd been cleaning out my underwear drawer, I ran across a couple pair of Edward's boxers I'd had since college. They were buried in the bottom under a bunch of other shit, but when I saw them, I remembered one pair was from the night we shared our first kiss in the laundry room of the dorm where we lived. The other pair was from the night we first made love. I teased him I was keeping them as a souvenir, and he laughed, but he took mine as well._

_When the memory hit me, there was nothing I could do but hop in a cab and get to the nearest bar. While I sat there drowning my sorrows with strangers, two guys came in who were obviously together as a couple. One guy looked enough like Edward I could convince myself it was him, and I immediately lost my mind, propositioning him when his huge boyfriend went outside to take a phone call._

_Needless to say, when the other guy came back and found me sucking on his boyfriend's neck, he didn't take it too kindly. I was off the stool and on the floor before I ever knew what hit me, and when I woke up the next morning, not sure how I'd even gotten home, I knew it was definitely time to make some changes._

_When Alice dropped by and saw the shape I was in, she told me that until I could prove to her I had my drinking under control, I couldn't see Jake. I took her words to heart, and for a month, I was fine. _

_One night while Jake was there, I was on the internet when I stumbled across an article regarding the next Caine Winslow book in the series was about to be released. There was a picture of Edward, likely his publicity shot, and as I stared into his eyes, I lost it. I could have been sitting with him at that very moment, watching a movie with popcorn while we talked about the publicity shit he would have to do to promote the book. I was such a fuck up._

_I drank enough to pass out so I wouldn't have to think about it anymore, and when I woke up, Rosalie was there fixing Jake breakfast. He'd called her when he couldn't get me up to feed him, and she came right over. She also called Alice, who showed up an hour later and laid it on the line. Either I get sober or she was going to take me to court to get sole custody. That was the wake-up call I needed, and I'd always love her for the kick in the ass._

I reached down and picked up my phone, seeing it was a message from Rosalie with an invitation to come over to her and Emmett's house the next day for a cookout after I went to my meeting. I sent her a text I was going to one tonight, and when I pulled into the parking lot of the Methodist church, my phone chimed again.

**I have a feeling you'll want to go to one in the morning. Remember, I love you, and so does Jake. Don't do anything stupid. R**

"More of that cryptic bullshit," I complained as I bailed out of the truck and made my way to the church basement.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down in an empty chair next to an older man. I saw him eyeing his key ring, and when I saw numerous bronze chips hanging from it, I turned to him. "Wow, congratulations, man. That's quite an accomplishment," I offered, reaching for the three on the ring in my pocket. My lesser chips were in a holder on my desk in the office. The reminder of my journey to sobriety was never far from my eyesight. I had too much to lose if I didn't focus.

"It would have been if I hadn't fallen off the wagon last week after twenty years sober. I've been on a bender since last Wednesday, and I just came up for air last night. I'd have thought nothing could happen in my life to send me back into that bottle, but just when you think you're in control, you get the reminder you ain't."

"The craving never goes away?" I asked, somewhat disheartened.

"Not really, but it was manageable until last Wednesday morning."

"What triggered it, if I can ask?" It was incredibly rude of me, but I couldn't imagine what would cause me to give up twenty years of sobriety. I prayed I lived to _see_ twenty years' sober.

"I lost the love of my life. My wife died." I put a hand on his shoulder and felt his body shaking as his tears fell. I could relate to losing someone so important it seemed your only choice was to fall into that bottle to look for numbing relief. It was all too real to me.

After the meeting, Billy, as I came to know when he stood up to share, and I exchanged phone numbers. I had a sponsor, Peter, but Billy said his sponsor had passed away. I told him I'd be there for him, and if I couldn't help him, I'd make sure someone could.

I went home, went for a run on the treadmill in the basement, and settled in with a ham sandwich and a large glass of sweet tea. I grabbed the thick manuscript and got comfortable in the leather recliner in the living room with some Coltrane playing quietly in the background. I flipped the front page and began reading.

_As Ethan Craig climbed onto the elevator of his new dorm building, he was filled with hope for the first time in a long time. It was a new start for him, and he had made a promise to his late-mother he would live up to his potential to honor her memory._

_The cramped elevator was filled with his suitcase and a few boxes, but when he heard a voice call, "Hey, would ya hold that elevator," he reached up and grabbed the stainless door to allow the person, who was probably toting his own boxes, to climb in. He knew it could take a while for another elevator because he'd waited for ten minutes himself, and he was a kind, albeit shy, person by nature. _

_He saw a blonde haired guy in a pair of basketball shorts and a holey t-shirt race across the lobby of the dorm building. The man's hair was longer and pulled back in a ponytail, and his eyes were covered with a pair of aviator sunglasses. He was well-built and suntanned, and Ethan didn't think he'd ever seen a more handsome guy in his life, not that he really spent a lot of time looking at men._

_The man walked into the car and dropped a box right on Ethan's foot, causing him to dance around a bit. "Shit, man, I'm sorry. This has been a crappy day all around. You okay?" the guy asked as the bell inside the elevator chimed because the door was held open too long._

"_I'm fine. Moving sucks, doesn't it?" Ethan asked attempting small talk which was something for which he wasn't known. It wasn't something he did, talking to strangers, but there was definitely something about the guy that put him at ease._

"_Man, that's an understatement. Jeremy Walker," the guy responded, sticking out his fist in greeting. Ethan obliged, and then answered, "Ethan Craig. What floor?"_

_He watched as the handsome stranger reached into the pocket of his t-shirt and pulled out a piece of paper. "Four, please." Jeremy looked up to see the button was already illuminated and he turned to Ethan with a smile. "You on that floor as well?"_

"_Yeah, 404. You?" Every cell in Ethan's body was praying Jeremy was his roommate. He'd been resistant to contacting the stranger who'd been assigned to share his room because he was certain if he didn't like the guy, he'd work himself into an ulcer and not go to college at all. _

Something about the interaction seemed all too familiar to me…like I'd read it before somewhere. I continued to read as I drank my tea, and when I got to a point in the story where Ethan skipped one of his classes in order to attend Jeremy's lecture to take notes and record the lecture because Jeremy was ill, I couldn't breathe. The memory came rushing at me like a fucking tsunami.

_I'd been up most of the night, coughing like crazy. It was the last day of class before Thanksgiving, and I was sure I was going to die. I'd stupidly played flag football in the rain on Sunday afternoon, and I was convinced I had pneumonia. The coughing was so bad, my roommate, Tyler, had left to go sleep elsewhere. _

_When my alarm went off, I heard shuffling in the room, and as I tried to get up, I was pushed back down. "You're too sick to go to class." I opened my eyes and after a few blinks I saw Edward sitting on the side of my bed in his pajamas. I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating, but staying in bed sounded like a good idea until I remembered I'd signed up for an extra-credit lecture in my European History class because I'd done for shit on the mid-term and I needed to keep up my GPA. If I didn't go to the lecture, I'd go into the final with a 'C' and that would put a lot of pressure on me to ace the final, which I wasn't sure I could do._

"_I've gotta go. It's an extra credit lecture, and I had to beg to get in," I croaked out between coughing fits._

"_Sit up and take these. I'll take care of it," Edward ordered. I sat up and took whatever he was handing me, swallowing down orange juice between coughing fits._

_Once it was down, he shoved something in my ear, and a few seconds later, there was a beeping. I opened my eyes to see him examining some sort of electronic device. "One-hundred-one. You're not going anywhere. I sent Tyler to get you some breakfast, but that ass probably won't come back. I'm going to shower and change, but I'll be back. Those pills will probably put you back to sleep, so I'll bring you something to eat when I get out of class. I'm taking your keys, okay? Tyler already packed and is leaving for home as soon as he finishes his test, so you get some rest and I'll be back." He pulled the blanket up around my chin, and I was back to sleep before I even heard the door close._

_When I woke up sometime later, I saw him sitting at my desk with his laptop. "Hey," I called to him, sitting up a little. I felt a bit better, but I still felt like utter shit._

"_Hey. How you feeling?" he asked as he went to the refrigerator in my room and pulled out a plastic container, popping it into the microwave Tyler and I shared._

_He grabbed a bottle of water and walked over, sitting down on the bed to face me. He looked so worried I wanted to reach up and brush my fingers over his forehead to smooth the creases in his brow. "Better than I did earlier. How was your presentation?" I asked. He had been working his ass off on a presentation for one of his classes, and I vaguely remembered it was that morning before he left to go to his aunt's house for Thanksgiving._

_He looked down at his hands and then back up to my eyes. His face was a bit red, and I was worried it hadn't gone well. The guy was a freaking genius, and I couldn't fathom it wouldn't have gone well, but everyone had an off day, and if it had gone badly, I knew he'd beat himself up about it. His GPA, which was much more impressive than mine, was very important to him._

"_I, uh, I didn't go. I spoke with Dr. Banner, though, and he agreed to allow me to do it this afternoon with only a minimal impact to my grade. More importantly, I recorded that lecture and took notes as well as I could, but not being familiar with the subject matter might make my notes useless. I spoke with the professor and explained the situation, and he agreed to allow you to turn in your critique of the lecture next Monday. You'll have to listen to it on tape, which I'm sure isn't as exciting as sitting in the lecture hall, but hopefully, you can get something useful out of it," he explained._

_Just then, the timer went off on the microwave. Edward walked over to it and pulled out the plastic container, stirring it and then taking a quick slurp from the spoon. When he was satisfied, he walked over and placed it on the table next to my bed. "Eat while it's hot. I went to that Jewish deli and Mrs. Levy assured me this would fix you right up," he ordered with the smile I loved._

_I couldn't smell anything, but the gesture had my heart pounding. He was perfect. Hell, he was perfect for me, and I wished I had the balls to tell him._

_I picked up the bowl and took a slurp from the spoon, seeing it was chicken and matzo ball soup. I really wished I could taste anything, but the fact he'd been so fucking kind as to go out of his way for me had me so choked up I couldn't swallow. "You shouldn't have done all of this. When are you leaving to go home? I feel fine, Edward," I told him as I touched his arm without thinking. The contact was like a soothing salve to my soul._

"_Jasper, you're my…you're my best friend, and I know how important this lecture was for you. I'll still be able to turn in my project, so no worries. I called Uncle Carlisle and he gave me a few things I can get over-the-counter to help with the symptoms. If you're still running a fever on Friday, I'm taking you to the urgent care facility because it might be more than just a cold. _

"_Now, I'd suggest you go stand under a hot shower to open up your head and by the time you're done, I'll be back from the store. I'm afraid it'll be frozen turkey dinners for us tomorrow, but I'll get Aunt Es to make it up to us when you finally have the opportunity to come home with me to meet them. I'll be back." _

I felt the tears running down my face and blinding me from the words on the page. How could I…how could I have treated him so fucking horribly? He'd only ever loved me, and I'd just thrown it away with one stupid decision to be sure I was truly only into guys, or namely, him.

The fact I got it up with Alice only served to confuse me because I was under the impression if I was into guys, a chick wouldn't do it for me. I didn't intend to sleep with her, but after making out with her and rubbing my erection against her, I allowed myself to be talked into pursuing sex with her in order to be certain of my orientation. I truly stopped thinking and took her to bed. _Our bed._ Yet another thing about which I was ashamed.

I stayed up all night reading the entire manuscript, mostly through tears with a few laughs and several hard-ons as he described the weekends we'd spend in bed after we got our own apartment, having tired of trying to find places to have sex without being caught. I was so fucking scared my parents would find out, I was damn near irrational when it came to the two of us. I forbid any touching in public. Edward, my beautiful lover and best friend, never, ever, complained about it.

At six o'clock Saturday morning, I put the manuscript down and went to shower, allowing the memories of some of our lovemaking to consume me to the point I actually had to rub two out before the water turned cool.

I made myself coffee and toast, sent Rosalie a text I'd be over after my meeting at eight, and I called Peter. I told him what had happened and asked him if he'd meet me at the community center where they had a meeting early on Saturday mornings. I'd gone to it pretty consistently. It was actually where I'd met Peter, but since he and Charlotte had moved to Tacoma, we hadn't been to a meeting together in a while. After the night I had, I needed him there.

I showed up at Rosalie's house at ten, having gone for coffee with Peter after, and I felt pretty good…considering. I let myself inside, finding Emmett on the couch with the paper and coffee. "Hey bro," I called to him.

He lifted his hand, not turning toward me, and pointed to the kitchen. I walked in to see Rosalie still in her pajamas without makeup. She turned to look at me from her place at the stove, and the look she had told me she knew how bad it was. She walked over to me and hugged me, being nearly as tall as me.

"You know, don't you?" she asked.

"Yeah. Did you know before you read it?" I asked as I pulled away from her and poured myself coffee, not that I needed it.

"I didn't. After I read it, I called Bella to confirm my suspicions, and she told me who the author was…of course, under penalty of death. She said it was because she needed me to understand the need to protect his identity. She read the story, and she said she knew he needed to tell it. He's been having trouble with his last Caine Winslow book, and she thinks if he gets this one published, it might free up his mind. This is your story, too, Jasper. Are you okay with it being out there?"

I thought about it for a minute, but I'd really already made up my mind. "Rosalie, everything…every fucking part of our story that's in that manuscript is the truth. What I don't know is how much of the rest of the story is true after we broke up. If it _is_ true, maybe this is the opportunity to write a different ending. Call Bella and find out when we can get him in the office," I ordered.

"If he sees you, he'll walk…fuck, run…away without giving us a chance." She was right, but Edward had never seen pictures of my family because I didn't have any at school. Hell, I didn't talk about my family at all with him except to acknowledge I had a sister, but he knew her as Rosalie Whitlock. We'd have to do something about that.

"You'll have to meet with him. I'll give you bullets to ask him, and you can get the information I want. I'll hide in your bathroom and listen. I can have my laptop and send you IMs about whatever he says. Rose, you've got to help me. This might be my only chance at happiness, and I just can't let it get away again. Please…" I whispered as I sobbed at her kitchen table.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. "Well, meet Lillian McCarty."

##

I sat in the bathroom adjacent to Rosalie's office and listened to the discussion she and Edward were having. I could still hear the pain in his voice as he explained plot points I was interested in fleshing out to turn the story into more fiction than fact. It wasn't self-serving…well, not much. I had the feeling if he could separate himself from the story maybe it could be healing for him...for us.

When he brought up the point he thought Rosalie was jerking him around, I sent her a damn IM to seal the fucking deal before he got pissed and walked out. I heard her shouting at me, and I didn't give a fuck.

When I heard, "Mr. Masen, you can tell me to fuck off, but the emotions in this manuscript are so poignant I can't help but believe a lot of this comes from personal experience. I get the impression someone you loved and trusted was careless with your heart. Am I right?" I knew I needed to see him, but I had to hear his answer first.

"Mrs. McCarty, are _you_ able to see the emotion because it's something you've experienced yourself?"

_Please, Rosalie, don't give it away. It's not about me. It's about him. _"Actually, I have experience with both sides of the situation. I had a boyfriend back in high school that cheated on me with a friend, but I was young and it wasn't really true love. It did, however, leave an impression. But, that's not why I can see the pain in you. Someone I'm very close to cheated on someone who didn't deserve it. Not only was that person hurt, my friend was nearly destroyed by the guilt. Life is too short to live with so much pain and regret, I believe."

God love my sister. She was right, and as I remembered my new friend, Billy, I knew it was the God's honest truth. "What happened to your friend?" he asked.

"I think that's something to be…" Rose began. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

\\\

**_I know...I left you at this point in the first chapter. This is the only time I'll repeat history from both POVs. I hate doing it, but I needed to introduce Jasper. From this point forward, we move on. There will be flashbacks to E/J's time together before the break-up, but the story's about a lot more than that. I hope you hang on for it._**

**_Thanks for reading._**

**_Till next time...xoxo_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hello! Thank you for your interest in my little fic. I have a little info for you before we get much further into it.**_

_**First, I'll remind you this is slash, so there will be m/m citrus. If you don't like slash, please don't read any further.**_

_**Second, this isn't PWP…this puppy has a plot. There is more angst in this one than a lot of my other stories, so there were a few tears shed when I was writing/editing, but maybe I'm a wuss. Just a head's up.**_

_**Third, this story will be between twenty-five and thirty chapters. I hope I can hold your attention that long. (Side note: I won't be repeating the same events as I did in the first two chapters. I was introducing each character, and I felt the best way to do it was use the same set of circumstances and show each one's reaction. Don't plan to do it in the future.)**_

_**Fourth, SMeyer owns all characters. I mix them up like dice in a Yahtzee game!**_

_**And, finally, fifth, all A/Ns won't be this long : ) Enjoy!**_

_**\\\**_

3. The Awful Thing about the Past is Reliving It

##

EDWARD

_No…no… no…What's he doing here? What the fuck is he doing here?_

I rose from my chair, ready to bolt. I wasn't prepared to see him, and I refused to fall apart in front of him. "What the hell is going on?" I snapped at the two of them.

"Edward, calm down, please? I know it's a surprise, but there are so many things we need to talk about. Please, give me the chance to explain to you my stupidity. It's been too many years we've both suffered, and it's time for us to talk about things. I know…I know you owe me nothing, but I owe you a lot," Jasper pleaded.

I wanted to curl into a ball right there in Lillian McCarty's office, but after everything that had transpired between Jasper and me I knew I had to stay strong. I looked at the two of them standing together, and I wondered why the fuck I didn't see the resemblance when I looked into her eyes the first time. She was Jasper's twin sister, Rosalie. _How the fuck had I gotten duped? Why would Bella put me in this position?_

"So, you're Rosalie?" I asked coldly.

"I'm sorry for all the covert tactics, but the fact of the matter is we want to publish this book. We truly believe this book can put all of us into a new stratosphere, Edward, and if this story is important to you as Bella believes it to be, I hope you'll listen. If you need me, I'll be in the conference room, Jas," she stated before she left the two of us alone, closing the door on her way out.

I turned back to him, not really sure why I was staying. Maybe it was something Lillian…Rosalie…said about life being too short to live with pain and regret. I sunk into the chair and maintained my silence, waiting for him to say something. He'd set me up, and it was up to him to take it in the direction he wanted.

He sat down in his chair appearing quite nervous. I was unsurprisingly happy about that because my stomach was churning like a tornado.

"Where do you want to start?" Jasper asked. I shrugged, not offering him any help at all. He usually had a lot to say. I was pretty sure that hadn't changed over the years.

"Okay. Um, I guess the best place to start is at the end. I read your manuscript, and you're an incredible writer, not that I doubted you would be. I remember reading your stuff back in college, and I knew you had it in you. I never doubted you, Edward," he yammered.

"What are you doing running a publishing company? I thought you were a programmer. You used to sit around the apartment writing code in your underwear. What happened to _that_ career?" I asked with a bite in my voice.

He looked down for a minute and pulled out something from his pocket to stare at before he tossed it in the air to me. I caught it, seeing a key ring with three bronze colored chips attached to it. I looked at one of them, seeing the words, "_To Thine Own Self Be True._"

"What's this?" I asked as I tossed the key ring back to him with a little force, bringing that bright smile to his face as he caught it above his head. I wanted to slap that smile away. In the past, I'd crumble under the weight of it, but I was certainly a different man now…_wasn't I?_

"They're sobriety chips. You're the last person on my list to whom I need to make amends. I didn't know…well, I hoped someday I'd get the chance. Edward, I'm so sorry for everything I put us through. It was all my fault and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. You didn't deserve any of it, and when I read your manuscript, it brought back the reminder of what a horrible partner I was to you. I am so very sorry," he apologized.

Thankfully for him, he didn't try to play on my sympathies. He was the same Jasper I'd first fell in love with…assured, charming, irresistible. Unfortunately for him, I wasn't the same starry-eyed innocent he'd met some ten years earlier.

"What happened with your degree?" I asked again.

"I graduated, but I still don't know how. I fell into a bottle after I fucked things up with us. You didn't make me an alcoholic, okay? I did that all on my own because I was too much of a coward to face up to what I'd done…what I'd lost. The only way I could begin to live with myself was to be numb, so I did it as often as possible. After you disappeared and nobody would tell me where you went, I started drinking.

"I stayed in that bottle for five years, some times worse than others. I lost several good jobs because of it, and the only person who would hire me was my mother. That's how I ended up working here. Only after a threat I couldn't turn away from did I clean up my shit for good. It, uh, I sobered up because I have a son, and his mother threatened to take him away if I didn't get my shit together. That was the impetus for me, but it took me a few tries to finally get it right," he explained.

I, on the other hand, was sure my eyes were about to pop out of my head. He had a son. God that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I stood and picked up my leather case. "Jasper, I accept your apology, but forgiveness? I don't know if that's something I can ever give. If you read that fucking manuscript, then you know how my life's been. I'm glad you got your shit together, and I hope you stay on your path for the sake of your son, but I don't see us fitting together on this book deal. Maybe just getting it off my chest is enough. Tell your sister I appreciated her time," I stated as I started for the door.

"Edward, I need to tell you I still love you. There's been no one else who has ever made me feel what I feel for you and there never will be. I fell in love with you in that elevator as well, and I was careless with it. That's my biggest sin. I never got over you, and I know I never will," he hurriedly admitted to me which made my heart ache and my temper flare.

I wheeled on him. "You mother fucker. If that's the case, why wasn't I enough? Why did you bring that whore into our home? Into our bed? On my mother's wedding quilt…you fucked her on that quilt, in our bed where you made love to me the night before. _WHY?!_" I shouted, not giving a shit about the people outside the door hearing about my greatest shame and heartbreak.

He took a deep breath and stepped toward me. I held up my hands for him to keep his fucking distance because if he got too close, I was sure I'd deck the bastard. "Fine. I'll stay here. The reason I made the stupidest fucking mistake of my life was because I needed to be sure. I knew I loved you, but I had a hard time accepting I was gay. I thought if I kissed a girl and it didn't do anything for me, I'd finally be able to accept it. When I kissed Alice, I got hard, and then one thing led to another, and I took it one step too far.

"It's a lame excuse, I know. I never, in my wildest dreams, intended to hurt you or throw away what we had, Edward. I made the worst mistake of my life that day, and if I could turn back time…"

I laughed darkly. "Well, _Cher_, you can't. I'll give you a little bit of advice. Don't dwell in 'what ifs'. They'll drive you to madness, and you'll never have peace. I can tell you that for a fact," I told him and turned to leave.

Before I opened the door, I had to know one thing. I needed it for closure. "So, you're straight?"

"No. I'm as crooked as the day is long, okay? Yes, I have a son with Alice Brandon, but we were only together that one time. The condom broke and she wasn't on the pill. We didn't have…"

I didn't want to hear anymore, so I left. I closed the door and closed that chapter of my life. For the first time in such a long time, I felt good about the way it ended. I walked out on him again, but this time, I felt like I had the upper hand.

As I caught a cab back to my apartment, I sent Bella a scathing text.

_I don't know if I can forgive you for what you put me through. Don't call and don't respond. I'll contact you when I've calmed down and have an inkling of a plot. EAM_

I turned off my phone and when the cab pulled up in front of my building I paid the man and went inside, intending to do more than drown my sorrows. I was going to get blind drunk, and Jasper's revelation of his alcoholism wasn't going to deter me.

I didn't drink often, but that night, I was going to drain the biggest bottle I had in my liquor cabinet. If I was lucky, I wouldn't remember a damn thing in the morning. That was, if I woke up. I didn't care either way.

##

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I woke the next morning. I truly wished I hadn't. As my brain pulsed in a dehydrated fog, I wondered how many mornings Jasper had awakened with the same feeling. I hated myself for wondering about it, but the curiosity was there, nonetheless.

I thought about the day before, and I wondered if I'd actually gained any closure because it sure as fuck didn't feel like it. I decided I didn't want to think about it, so I got up, took a shower, and went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, having skipped food the night before in favor of _Jameson's_. I'd probably never drink it again, and for a minute, I was sad because I remembered times when Uncle Carlisle and I had enjoyed a glass or two over the years. _I should have had the tequila._

After I finished two scrambled eggs and a piece of toast, I hauled up my balls and turned on my phone, vaguely remembering turning it off the night before so as to avoid messages from Bella.

After it quit vibrating, I picked it up and saw her spanking.

_You're an idiot. You and I both know you still love him. Rosalie called me. Bella_

_Ignoring me won't keep me from yelling at you. Call me, jackass._

I laughed at her complaints, which hurt my head like hell, and when I opened the final message, I was surprised…and not exactly happy.

_Felix and I will be there at ten in the morning, and you better open the damn door because you know he won't care about breaking it down. Love you, Bella._

I looked at the clock and saw it was nearly ten, which meant unless I was going to haul ass out the back door of the building, I was screwed. When I heard the knock as I plotted my escape, I knew it was too late.

I went to the door and opened it, seeing Bella and Felix standing there with an expectation of admittance. I laughed. "How presumptuous of you? What if I'm not ready to receive?"

Bella and Felix laughed along with me. "Queenie, you need to snap out of this shit. You love Jasper, and we all know it. Edward, he fucked up.

"You've never told me anything about your relationship with Jasper, and I let you get by with that bullshit explanation of having a bad breakup in college you didn't want to discuss because I was your friend and I didn't want to remind you of a time that was painful. _But, _what I read in that manuscript is your heart breaking on the page. You love the man, and you need to find a way to get to a better place. _Talk. To. Him_," she directed.

"It's none of your business," I responded coldly. I hated she knew me so well to be able to figure me out so easily.

"I'm in the dark about most of this, but I don't think it's healthy for you not to find out why he cheated. I'm not saying it won't be a fucked-up reason, but look how it affected your relationship with Aro. You were never into him as much as he was into you. If this guy is the reason you can't be in a relationship, I think you need to get a handle on it. Maybe you should give him the opportunity to explain himself," Felix offered as the two of them busted into my apartment, completely unwelcomed.

"Well, just make yourselves at home," I snarled after they were already in my kitchen.

I gathered my wits…even as painful as it was…and addressed the last statement. "Felix, I love you like a brother, but I walked into the bedroom of the little apartment Jasper and I shared, and I found him fucking someone else. It doesn't matter if it was a woman or a man. He was _fucking_ someone else. Someone who wasn't me," I reminded. I knew he knew the story because he and Bella had no secrets. If she'd figured it out from the manuscript, then she'd likely filled him in on the highlights.

She looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. "Tell him."

He seemed to pale a bit. "Baby, I don't think…" he began.

"Felix, _tell _him," she demanded.

It was actually funny to see the five-foot, four-inch woman command the giant of a husband she had to do anything, but he loved her and would set the world on fire if she asked. It was what I truly craved in a relationship, and there was a time when I thought…_no, don't go there._

He cleared his throat and looked at me. "I cheated on Bella once."

My head snapped to her immediately, seeing the pain on her face. She quickly masked it, but I knew it hurt for her to hear him say it.

"When?" I snapped. I wanted to hit him, but he'd just pummel the shit out of me, so it would be useless.

"We were dating for six months, and she made it known she wanted us to be exclusive. I got it, but the feelings I had for her were overwhelming, and when she told me she didn't want me sleeping with anyone else, I decided before I made the commitment, I needed to get one more under my belt.

"Unfortunately, I forgot I'd given her a key and we were going to meet at my place when she got off work. When she walked in on me doing a girl on the couch…"

"_Oh, hell no_! It wasn't just _a girl on the couch,_ asshole. It was _Jane_. She'd been trying to break us up for a long time, and when I walked in, I threw his key at him and walked out. He begged and pleaded for my forgiveness for a month before I'd even listen to him, but I loved him. He fucked up, Edward, but I had to take a step back and decide if I could forgive him because if I couldn't, I'd be breaking my own heart.

"People get scared when a relationship comes along that's unlike anything they've ever experienced. Sometimes, that fear causes them to act out selfishly before weighing the consequences. I'm not making an excuse for Jasper's behavior, but do you love him? Do you still love him?" Bella implored.

The news of Felix's dalliance was surprising because they seemed like the perfect couple. I'd introduced the two of them after all, and Felix had introduced me to my last lover, Aro, with whom he worked. I knew Felix from the gym and Bella had just moved to Seattle to go to work for her father. She and Felix seemed to hit it off immediately, and I didn't know they'd ever had a problem since the day they got together.

When she lifted the veil of secrecy around what had happened between them, it made me open my eyes. Did I still love Jasper Whitlock? Yes, very much. Could I forgive him? I didn't know. Did I still think about him every day and wonder why he did what he did? Fuck, yes, I did.

I looked at the two of them for a moment, and then focused on Felix. "You're a stupid, stupid man, and if I was straight, I'd have given you a run for your money with Bella, but I appreciate your honesty, Fe. Let's go eat," I ordered to avoid the rest of the conversation Bella was aching to have. I had to reconcile myself to it before I could share it with anyone else.

Later that night, I sunk into bed and I remembered a night so precious, I couldn't dismiss the memory.

"_Baby, I want you. I know…I know it's new for both of us, but can we try?" Jasper whispered as we were in my room on my twin bed naked. I didn't remember how we'd gotten to that point, but his hard cock against mine was all I needed. My roommate was gone for the weekend, and I wanted nothing more than to have Jasper Whitlock fuck me in my tiny twin bed in my dorm room._

"_Reach into my nightstand," I told him as I kissed his chest. He found the lube and condoms, and after I felt his fingers inside me there was no turning back. _

"_I'm ready, but go slow, please."_

_He kissed me gently and he did exactly as I asked. Once my body accepted him inside, I began moving wildly. The feeling of him inside me was nothing I'd ever thought I'd experience in my life, and his kisses, slow and passionate as he moved, were nothing like I expected._

_I was sure when we took the step it would be hurried and fumbling. It was anything but. It was full of love and passion, and when we both climaxed, I told him I loved him. He smiled and kissed me, saying, "I feel the same way. I feel the same fucking way."_

_After we cleaned up, we lie in my horrible dorm room bed together making grand plans. We were going to move in together the next year and we were going to have a great life. _

It didn't quite work out that way_._

##

It had been a week since I'd dwelled on the memory of our first time making love, and I'd jerked off to it every fucking night which wasn't exactly dignified.

The thing that settled in my mind was I needed to talk to him and not about the book. I needed to know what I had meant to him while we were together. My soul needed to know if his feelings for me were as I'd believed back then. I needed to know if it hurt him to betray my trust the way he had, or was it easy to throw us away because he'd never really felt about me as I had him.

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_**E/N: Aw. Poor Eddie. Both of these guys break my heart. I'm going to try to post daily. Let's see how it goes.**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. I realize a cheating story is going to bring a lot of hate with it, so thank you for being respectful in your reviews. This Jasper…I know you're struggling to find some redeeming qualities, and up to now, I haven't given you much. Let's see where we stand after this chapter. **_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

4. Wander in Alice-Land

##

JASPER

I opened the door on Friday evening to find Alice and Jake standing there. They had a key. I didn't know why they didn't use it. "Where's the key?" I asked. Both of them were notorious for losing shit, and I'd had to have my locks changed three times within the past year because they kept losing the damn thing.

"It's at my house somewhere. Don't get mad. I'll find it. We already ate, did you?" she asked as they came in. I hugged my son, happy to see him. We'd had dinner on Wednesday night because I'd missed seeing him the weekend before while he was out of town with his mother.

I was glad to have him home so maybe he could offer a distraction from the memories and thoughts circling my head. I needed to think about anything other than Edward Masen.

"I had a late lunch," I lied. I turned to Jake. "Why don't you go put your stuff away? I got us tickets for the Mariner's game tomorrow. Sound good?" I asked with a bright, though fake, smile. Ridding myself of thoughts of Edward was a lot harder than I anticipated.

He gave Alice a funny look, and she sighed. "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell him." She turned to me and smiled. "He's got a birthday party tomorrow. I was going to pick him up at ten so we can get a gift on the way. It's his first boy/girl party," she stage whispered.

I turned to look at him, seeing his face flaming red. "God, Mom," he chastised. I scrubbed my hand through his dark brown hair and gave him a playful shove.

"So, is there a birthday _girl_ or _boy_? I can take him shopping and drop him off at the party, Alice," I offered.

"Jake, go put your things up. Maybe your dad can help you with your homework later," she suggested. I saw the eye roll from him, and I held the laugh, not wanting to piss him off. He was eight, and I couldn't begin to comprehend I had a son that age.

He stomped off like an eight year-old boy would do, and when we heard his bedroom door click shut, I looked at Alice. "Isn't he a little young for a boy/girl party? I don't remember even contemplating the existence of girls until I was about eleven," I complained.

She laughed as she walked into my kitchen, opening my fridge to grab a soda. I knew she was looking to see if there was alcohol because Alice didn't drink soda. It meant she'd talked to my big-mouthed sister and knew what was going on.

"Feel free to search the place, _Officer Brandon_. I'm not drinking. I've been going to meetings damn near every day, and I'm not drinking. Now, this party?" I reminded, hoping I put her mind at ease and onto another subject.

"Look, Jasper, I know what's going on because I had lunch with Rosalie. How are you doing? Have you talked to him?"

"I've called but I hang up when it goes to voicemail. He doesn't want to talk to me, Alice. The hate that rolled off him was just…hell, it was palpable. I don't think there's anything I can do or say to ever get him to give me another chance," I admitted.

She toyed with the unopened can in her hand before I took it from her and put it back in the fridge knowing she wasn't going to drink it. After a minute, she snapped her fingers. "What if I talked with him? What if I tell him what happened that day that caused the two of us to be there, together? I mean, it makes me sound like a desperate schemer, but I'd be willing to tell him what happened, Jasper. I'm not blameless in this you know," she reminded as it all came back to me.

"_You wanna get coffee? I have a few questions I'd like to compare notes on. If I'm going to fail the fucking final, I need to get signed up to take it again at the community college near my parents over the summer break. What's wrong, Jasper? You seem like something's really bothering you," Alice observed as we walked out of the lab having finished our final early._

_I looked at my watch, seeing Edward was still in class, and what I needed to talk to her about wasn't something I could discuss in a public place. "How about we go back to my place? My roommate's still in class, and I need to…I need to talk to somebody," I begged._

_Alice Brandon was a wisp of a girl. She was one of the sweetest people I'd ever met, and I could sort of tell she had a crush on me, which I wanted to quash. I'd steeled myself to tell her the truth about how I felt about Edward, who she only knew was my roommate. _

_We were getting ready to part ways for the summer, and I thought if I let her down easy and talked to her about my fear of coming out to my parents, she'd understand there was no "us." That was…only if I could haul up my balls and tell her the truth about me. It was sort of like a dry run for what I planned to tell my parents, so I decided I'd test the waters with her._

_We went to my apartment where she looked around with an appraising eye. Of course, being as observant as she was, she immediately noticed the size – or lack thereof. "Your bedrooms must be closet-sized," she joked as I poured her a glass of iced tea._

_I froze, immediately regretting I'd brought her to the apartment. I quickly checked the clock over the fridge to see I still had enough time before Edward got out of his final. I took a deep breath and turned to her. "Yeah, um, it's a one bedroom."_

"_Oh, do you have bunk beds or does the couch fold out?" She was giving me the up and down, and when she licked her lips, I knew I had to come clean before she went off in a direction I didn't want to begin to contemplate._

"_Sit down, okay?" She followed me to the living room and we sat down on the couch, facing each other._

"_I want you to know I think you're a great girl. You've become a good friend since we met in January, and I need to tell you I haven't been honest with you about something major in my life," I began, taking in her demeanor. She was smiling, so I wasn't sure if she had any idea what I was about to tell her._

_She nodded, so I plowed forward. "Edward and I aren't just roommates. We're boyfriends. We share the bedroom," I announced rather ineloquently._

_Her face screwed up in disbelief, and then she forced a smile. "So, you're gay?"_

_That was the big unknown, wasn't it? _

"_I'm…well, I don't know. I mean, I care deeply for him, but I don't know if it's because I'm gay or it's just him. See, I'm the top, so I don't know if I'm…well, I've never been with…" _

_She held up her hand. "Have you ever had a relationship with a woman? Have you ever fucked a girl?"_

_I hated to tell her I'd never been interested in anyone, boy or girl, before I met Edward. During high school, I spent way too much time in front of screens…computer, gaming, and television…and I didn't have close relationships with anything that wasn't artificially generated. That was until I met Edward._

"_So, you fuck him, right? I'm not being insensitive, but I don't know much about gay relationships. Do you give him head?"_

_I felt my face glowing. "Um, I do. He likes to give it to me…" I immediately shut my mouth because I was betraying confidences…confidences between lovers who trust each other to be discreet about the private things that happen when you're with the person you profess to love._

_She seemed to contemplate my response, and then she smiled. "I think you need to do a comparative analysis. Kiss me." She got up from the couch and plopped her iPod in the iHome on the entertainment center, turning on some very soft music. I, however, was about to swallow my tongue. I'd never kissed a girl. Hell, the only person I'd ever kissed was Edward._

"_Um, I don't know if…" I began sweating profusely, even though the A/C was on._

"_Look, kiss me. If it does nothing for you, then you know. Jasper, listen. I really, really like you, and I've thrown myself at you all semester. If you're struggling with your sexuality, let's figure it out so I can move on? Kiss me."_

_She launched herself at me, crawling into my lap and kissing me gently. When she moved against my cock, I felt myself get hard. Her tongue was in my mouth, and my hands instinctively wrapped around her body, settling on her ass just as they always did with Edward when he straddled me. I had to stop those thoughts or I'd never have my answer._

_We made out, and I lost myself in the feeling of having her small, delicate frame against mine when I was used to a much harder, muscular frame rubbing up against my body and tempting my cock. The fact I was hard surprised me, and when she pulled away, we were both breathless._

"_Um, so?" she asked._

_Hell, I didn't know how to answer her. I was hard, but I was a twenty-year-old guy. A stiff breeze could make me hard on a bad day. I still had no conclusive proof, so I simply shrugged._

"_Jasper, I'm a virgin. Do you know what that means?" she asked. Obviously, I knew what being a virgin meant. I was one until I met Edward._

"_Of course I do," I responded as she continued to grind on my hard cock._

"_No, what I mean is I've never had sex, and I want you to pop my cherry. You're trying to find out if you're gay, so I say the pussy needs to come out. You can close your eyes and think about a guy when we kiss because I'm relatively flat chested, but when faced with the vaj, if you get it up, it's one of two things. Either you're bi, which would explain why you can fuck boys and girls, or you're straight and allowing your roommate to manipulate you into being something you're not. I say we test it out," she offered._

_I'd never seen a live, naked girl. I'd only seen on-line porn, and I told myself the reason it did nothing for me was because it wasn't something I could touch. Putting my dick in Alice was definitely one way to test the theory, though in the back of my mind, I had an idea it wasn't something I should do. The devil on my shoulder told me I should at least have sex with a woman before I told my parents I believed I was gay, so without too much thought, I reached for the button on her shorts._

_She stilled my hand. "I'm not being a bitch, but I'd really rather not lose my virginity on a couch. Could we at least do it on the bed?" _

_She climbed off of me, and I had a flash of why it was a bad decision, but I tamped it down. When she took my hand and led me back to our bedroom…mine and Edward's…she slipped off her shorts and panties, laying on the bed at the bottom and opening her legs. I stared at her bare pussy, and swallowed, feeling a little intimidated._

_I decided just to get it over with, so I went to the nightstand and grabbed a condom, checking the clock on Edward's side table to see I still had some time. I dropped my pants, having decided standing was the best idea because I couldn't begin to imagine the two of us on the bed together. I didn't pull the spread down either because it didn't seem right to have her on the same sheets where….had to stop that train of thought. _

_After I had the condom in place, I positioned myself at her entrance, feeling myself begin to soften a bit. I'd never imagined I'd be in the position before, and I actually didn't want it to be bad for her, so I closed my eyes, imagined she was Edward, and I pushed inside her. I felt resistance, so I pushed harder, and then I heard a gasp so I opened my eyes to take in her appearance. Her face was screwed up, and I stopped._

"_What's wrong? Does it…do you not like it?" I asked._

_She let out a large breath, and I saw tears in her eyes. I started to pull out when she wrapped her legs around me. "No, don't. It just hurt for a minute. It's fine now. Go ahead," she requested._

_I began moving in earnest, and my mind couldn't help but replace her face with Edward's gorgeous face. When I made love to him, he was so animated and expressive. Alice just looked pained, and I decided I was at least going to try to make her experience an orgasm, so I licked my thumb and began stroking her where I hoped her clitoris was located. When she gasped, I was relieved I'd found it._

_I continued to move into her, feeling my orgasm on the horizon because hell, she was tight. "God, yesss," she hissed. I hoped I was at least giving her a little pleasure, so I sped up my movement, feeling myself on the brink._

"_Almost…I'm almost there," I moaned to myself. _

_I closed my eyes because I couldn't look at her and I tilted my head toward the ceiling, trying to think about Edward so it could just be done. I felt her pulse around me, so I pumped into her a few more times. I heard something behind me, just as I let go. _

"_You motherfucking son-of-a-bitch," Edward yelled at me from his place at the doorway._

_My head whipped around, seeing him standing there in shock. "Edward, baby…" I began, feeling frozen in my spot. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I had no idea what to do._

_He was staring between the two of us, and then I saw his face screw up in pain. He hurried out of the room and was down the hallway before I could move away from her. I reached down and held onto the condom as I pulled out of her body. When it dripped on the floor as I slipped it off, I knew we had a problem._

"_Fuck, I think it broke," I complained._

"_Shit, I'm not on the pill," Alice informed. That wasn't something I ever had to worry about with Edward. Obviously…_

_I hurried to the bathroom and quickly turned on the water, filling the condom and seeing that there was definitely a thin stream that leaked from the tip. That wasn't good news at all._

_Alice walked in, having redressed. I was still standing in the bathroom with my pants around my ankles and a pain in my heart rivaling anything I'd ever felt in my life. _

"_So, you came. I think that means you're not gay, Jasper," she determined._

_I felt the tears in my eyes because I knew how wrong she was. "No, Alice, it actually means I _am_ gay. The only way I was able to come was if I closed my eyes and pretended I was with Edward. I'm sorry."_

_She ran out of the apartment, sobbing all the way, and I felt like shit. I'd broken three hearts with one bad decision. I was a horrible person._

_When she called me at my grandparents' place six weeks later to tell me she was pregnant, I was despondent. I had no idea how to deal with it, so I cried until I had no tears left in my heart. Then…I found my granddaddy's stash of corn mash in the barn and began my relationship with alcohol._

_After he left, I searched for him everywhere. I cancelled my ticket to Galveston so I could try to find him, and I called my parents and told them I was gay. Of course, they pitched a fit, but I didn't care. When I couldn't find him, and his aunt and uncle wouldn't speak with me, I went to my grandparents' place to try to figure out what to do. I got the call from our landlord he'd moved out and paid out his part of the lease, and I never heard from him again. __I even drove out to Forks to talk with his family. They told me he'd dropped out and moved away._

"I don't think he has it in him to forgive me, Alice."

She sighed. "Jasper, don't give up on him yet. Let me see if I can get in touch with him. Give me his number. I have the feeling if he knew how much I goaded you into sex he might be a little more understanding. Gimme," she demanded as she held her phone out. I programmed in the number Rosalie had given me and handed it back to her.

"Just, um, please don't upset him anymore than I already have, Alice. I broke his heart once. I don't want him to suffer that pain a second time," I begged.

"Kid gloves, I swear. Now, I've got a date tonight, and not the kind of dates you've had in the past. You're not still doing the man-whore thing, are you?" she asked. Unfortunately, our friendship had gotten to the point where I talked to her about the passionless fucking I'd done over the years since I got sober.

She told me it was damaging my self-esteem as she continued to pursue true love, and I told her I'd already had true love and I'd fucked it up so I didn't deserve it again. I picked up guys, fucked them, and went on my merry way. No emotions involved at all. Hell, even _that_ became stale after a while, so I swore off in favor of self-service when the need arose.

"No, Alice, I'm not. Hell, I don't think I could get it up if I tried," I whined.

She giggled. "I'd suggest we have another go, but we both know that won't work. I'll be back at ten in the morning."

"I told you I can take him shopping for the gift," I reminded.

"Okay, what would you get an eight-year-old _girl_?" I thought about what I knew about girls and figured out…nothing. "Point taken."

She laughed as she hugged me and left. I went back to Jake's room to see what he was doing. He was playing his Xbox, so I sat down and placed my hand on his back. "What's up, Bud?"

He paused the game and turned to look at me. "Can I ask you somethin' without gettin' in trouble?"

I immediately became concerned. "Of course. You can ask me anything, Jake." I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked into his mother's dark eyes, waiting nervously.

"What's a faggot?"

I felt my stomach drop. It wasn't that we weren't telling him about my sexual orientation; we weren't going to overwhelm him with anything regarding sex until he started asking questions. Alice told me she didn't tell him when she went on dates, and she'd never introduced him to any guy she dated as far as I knew. I certainly didn't have him around my hook-ups because I didn't ever bring them home with me.

"Where'd you hear that word? That's a bad word, Jake," I told him carefully.

"Like a swear? I said a swear the other day, and Mom washed my mouth out with soap. I burned my hand, and it just slipped out," he defended. I wanted to laugh at the vision of seeing Alice, who was rather petite, washing our son's mouth out with soap. He was equally as tall as her, getting height from my side of the gene pool I guessed.

"It's kind of like a swear, but it's more a mean name to call someone. You know how you're not supposed to label people with bad names just because of where they come from or the color of their skin? It's that sort of thing," I tried to explain.

His eyes widened. "Oh, you mean like when the boys at school called Quil '_chief'? _Like that? What about the _Kansas City Chiefs_? If it's a bad name, how come they call the football team that?"

We were getting completely off topic, and it was unfamiliar territory in which I was embarking, but I needed to know what he knew and where he'd heard the word. "It's more complicated than I can describe, but if you tell me where you heard the word, maybe I can explain it better," I offered.

"Last weekend when I stayed at Grandma and Granddad's while Mom was at her meetings. I was comin' down for breakfast when Granddad said, '_Lilly, our son's a faggot and that girl's a whore. We need to get that boy away from them before they ruin him.' _When they heard me, they quit talkin', and it didn't seem right askin' what they meant. They didn't talk about it anymore, and they didn't know I heard. Later, they got into an argument about it, and they didn't talk to each other the rest of the weekend. When Mom showed to pick me up the next mornin', Granddad took her into the study and talked to her while Grandma packaged up some cookies for the flight. When we left, Granddad didn't come say goodbye, and Grandma told Mom she was sorry. I think Mom was cryin' when we were flyin' home."

I needed to talk to Alice because she had obviously suffered an altercation with my father she wasn't telling me about, but at the moment, I had bigger fish to fry. "Okay. Look, this might be hard to understand, but you know how your mom dates guys?" I asked.

His eyes shot open, widely, which led me to believe he didn't have any idea. "Let's start over. You're mother and me aren't married. You understand that, right?" I asked. He nodded, so I plowed forward.

"Well, when you're with me, your mother goes out on dates with other guys. She wants to meet the right guy for her, just as I have," I responded without thinking much.

"I know she goes on dates, but I didn't know _you_ knew it. What do you mean you've met the right _guy _for you?" he asked, not missing a damn thing.

I took a deep breath. "Jake, I date men. I know it's odd for you to think about it, but I care deeply for a man. I'm gay. Have you ever heard of anything like that?" I asked. _God, every day I have to come out to someone new, including my own son. _

He looked at me for a minute and grinned shyly. "Sam has two dads. Is it like that?"

I didn't know who Sam was, but if he was the product of a gay couple, maybe I should get to know them. "Are you friends with Sam?"

"Yeah. We play kickball and stuff at school. His dads take turns pickin' him up, and I've talked to them a few times. They seem real nice. Am I gonna have two dads?"

I sighed, wishing to hell I could give him an answer. "Well, right now, you just have me. I don't know if you'll ever have two dads. Maybe if your mom meets a man, or if I can get my sh…figure things out with my special someone, it might happen. You're not upset, are you?"

"I, um, I like girls. The party I'm goin' to tomorrow is for Vanessa. She's a girl I like. That's okay, right?"

I chuckled at him. "It's very okay for you to like Vanessa. Do you think she likes you back?"

"I have no idea, Dad. She talks to me, but she sits next to James for lunch. I don't know if she likes me, but I wanna get her a good gift…ya know, just in case?"

I held the laugh. My son, the ladies' man. "Jake, I'm sure your mom's all over it. I'm gonna eat something. You hungry?" I asked. He nodded as he stood and turned off the television, following me to the kitchen.

I heated a frozen pizza, knowing Alice would be pissed about him sharing it but not caring too much. After we ate, we watched a little television, and when his eyes started to drift closed, I helped him to bed, tucking him in and kissing his forehead after his teeth were brushed. He didn't look like me, having his mother's darker features, but he was an adorable boy and I loved him very much.

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_**Still no love for Jasper? How are we feeling about Alice? (Side bar: No disrespect is intended by use of derogatory names in this chapter. When you meet Jasper's parents...yeah.)**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Good evening, friends…well, in my part of the world it's still evening : ) Thank you for your reviews. We're still split regarding Jasper, but I see Alice has gained a whole lot of hatred! Well, if you hated her last chapter, I reckon the pitchforks will come out after this one.**_

_**SMeyer owns. Sometimes I like to make them really mean and mix them up a little. No infringement intended.**_

_**\\\**_

5. New Truths from Old Lies

##

EDWARD

I decided to take a late afternoon nap on Friday because I'd stayed up too late the night before attempting to make revisions to the Ethan/Jeremy/Alec story. My foggy brain registered noise, and when I finally pulled myself out of the haze of sleep, I recognized there was a hammering on my door.

I wasn't thrilled about it, determining it was probably Bella and Felix again, and I was prepared to give them a piece of my mind. They'd been bugging the shit out of me all week after we'd had lunch and they quizzed me about my time with Jasper. I gave them enough answers to get them off my back at that moment, and I'd avoided them at all costs over the week. I wasn't ready to make any decisions, and I certainly didn't appreciate their barrage of questions and advice.

I hopped up from the couch and pulled on my jeans, having napped in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, and went to the door of my apartment. When I opened it, I saw a petite woman standing there with a smile on her face. "Edward Masen?"

I didn't know if I should answer or not, but my body had other ideas. I nodded.

"I believe you know who I am, but I'll do you the courtesy. I'm Alice Brandon. We need to talk," she responded as she walked past me into my apartment. I remembered when I found out who she was before I left town, and I certainly wasn't happy finding out she was a classmate of Jasper's. I'd talked to a few of his other classmates whom I'd met previously. I described her as best I could from what I'd briefly seen when Jasper was buried inside her, and when a guy named Craig gave me her name and told me she'd had the hots for Jasper all semester, I decided it was time to get the fuck out of Seattle. I hopped in my car and drove out to Forks before I moved to Alaska to finish school.

"Miss Brandon, I don't know what we have to discuss," I informed her as she moved through my apartment and settled on my couch without permission.

"We have a lot to discuss, Mr. Masen. You need to know…there are a few things you need to know. Please listen. I don't spill my guts to everyone," she announced confidently.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. If I had to listen to her yammer on, I at least wanted coffee. I sat down in my favorite chair and waited. "Okay, you have my attention."

"I'm a horrible person. I've done you and Jasper a great disservice over the years, and I need to come clean. I need to tell you _everything_," she responded passionately. She seemed jumpy and she was glancing all around my apartment, which made me wonder if she was nervous or casing the place to come back and rob me.

"Well, Miss Brandon, the floor is yours," I told her, trying to maintain my cool demeanor. I truly wanted to choke the life out of her because if it hadn't been for her, my life would have been so different. She took Jasper away from me. I couldn't forgive it, and I damn well wouldn't forget it.

"I need to apologize to you regarding what happened that day in your apartment. Jasper was up front about the fact he was with you, and it broke my heart. I loved him. He was easy to love, you know?"

I knew far too well how easy it was to fall in love with Jasper. It only took me a few minutes in an elevator. "Yes, I remember very well."

"He told me he wasn't sure if he was gay. I…it was me who suggested he kiss me to see if he had any reaction. I'll spare you the details, but one thing led to another, and well, after you ran out that day, he told me in no uncertain terms he was gay and he was in love with you. I was so damn broken hearted I ran out of there in tears. I was a virgin, and I basically begged him for sex because I thought I could get him to fall for me. After he told me there would never be a future for us, I was crushed."

I listened to her, reliving the hell of that day and wanting to just shove her out of my apartment. I took a deep breath, trying to still my nerves and my temper. "Miss Brandon, I'm grateful you came here to explain yourself, but it doesn't really let him off the hook. He fucked you, got you pregnant, and you have a child together. Obviously, all of that is none of my business because I was cast aside. Thank you for your attempt at clarity, but it really doesn't mean shit to me." I didn't sound like a bitching harpy at all. _Right._

She took a deep breath. "Mr. Masen, he chased after you. He tried to find you for months. He went to see your aunt and uncle to try to find you, but they refused to tell him where you went. In the meantime, I slept with another guy. Actually, the next night I slept with another guy.

"I never found out his name. All I knew about him was he was a soldier and he was deploying the next week. He was as drunk as me, and it seemed like a good idea to hook up, so we did. I was trying to…hell, I don't know what I was trying to do, but I slept with him."

"When I found out I was pregnant, I panicked. I went home to my parents' place, and with no way to get in touch with the other guy because he was overseas, I told Jasper I was pregnant with his child. The condom broke when I was with Jasper, actually, so before Jake was born it was a toss-up who was Jake's father. When he was born, I knew he wasn't Jasper's son because the other guy I was with was Native American and Jake had dark, coarse hair and a darker skin tone."

"I didn't tell Jasper the truth because he promised to be there for us and raise Jake along with me. I needed the help physically, financially, and emotionally, so I let him believe the lie. Without Jasper, my son wouldn't have a father, and I don't know how we'd have survived."

I sat in the chair listening to her story, and I was immediately angrier than I'd ever been in my life. I couldn't hold my tongue. "So, you not only seduced _my_ boyfriend, you led him to believe a child you had by another man was his? Does this boy even resemble Jasper at all?" I snapped at her.

She moved her hands to her eyes and popped out contact lenses. Her eyes had been brown when I first looked into them, but after she removed the contacts, I saw they were bright grey, which shocked the hell out of me.

"No. Jake doesn't look like Jasper at all. When his eyes changed from the grey blue to brown, I started wearing colored contacts and using self-tanner so our skin tone is similar, plus I tint my hair a darker brown than it is naturally. I've always been an outdoors person, as are my parents, so we all always had a tan, but as I've gotten older and moved up here, I switched to something else besides baking in the back yard. As for my eyes, well Jasper never looked into my eyes the one time we were together, so he never noticed the color was different then than it is now.

"Once Jake was born and I came back to Seattle to finish school, I was able to fool Jasper into believing Jake just took brown eyes and darker skin after my side of the family. He wasn't around during the pregnancy because I was in Mississippi with my family, but he did fly down after Jake was born.

"He told me when I was ready to come back to school, he'd pay for an apartment for Jake and me near his, and we'd share custody which is how it's been this whole time. He really hasn't paid much attention to my appearance other than the one time we were together, so I seriously doubt he's noticed the difference in my appearance over the years.

"I know I should have been honest, Mr. Masen, but I had a son without a father and there was a very wealthy man who was willing to take responsibility and step up to the plate. I know how it sounds, and I'm willing to accept your disdain and judgment because of it, but the fact remains…Jasper's is Jake's dad, and eventually, Jasper's going to need _you_."

"Miss Brandon, Jasper gave up needing me a long time ago. As a matter of fact, it was the day I walked in on him fucking _you_." It was cold and harsh, but it was just like the truth.

She sighed. "I can never express how sincerely sorry I am for that incident, Mr. Masen, but the fact remains Jasper's parents, Lilly and JR, are going to fight us for custody. They want to take Jake away from us because they believe I'm a whore and Jasper's gay, thus making us unfit parents in their minds. My only defense to keep my son will be a paternity test, and when it comes back Jasper isn't his father, I worry about how Jasper will react. He has certain problems, and if he finds out…well, when he finds out Jake isn't his son, I truly worry how he'll take the news."

I rose from my chair and began pacing as I always did when I was faced with something I couldn't handle. This was something I definitely couldn't handle. Why…why had this woman laid this problem at my doorstep? My life was dull, but it was mine. Suddenly, I was thrust back into Jasper Whitlock's orbit. It was the last place I wanted to be, but fuck if I didn't still love him.

I wanted to wish her good luck and toss her bony ass out of my apartment, but all I could think of was the look in Jasper's eyes when he told me about his son. He loved the boy, and when she told him the truth, I could only imagine the repercussions. I didn't have it in me to let him be blindsided. She had me over a fucking barrel, damn her.

"I need some time to think about this, and you need to consider talking to Rosalie. You need to tell her the truth because when you tell Jasper the truth, he's going to need her to keep him sane. They're close." I was certain I was right on that count because of what she'd done for him regarding getting me into _Thorn Publishing. _Bella had even suggested as much.

Alice dried her eyes and looked at me. "I know they are, but he loves you. I'm not trying to push you into anything, Mr. Masen, but he's going to need you. If you have any love in your heart for him at all, you need to work things out with him. I think I can buy some time with his parents, but when the shit hits the fan, Jasper _will_ head to a bar. He _will_ start drinking again, and all of it…your break-up, my son, the lies I've told, they'll send him back into the abyss. I'll disappear and never bother the two of you again, but if you ever loved him…if you still love him as I think you do, be there for him."

She rose from her seat and walked toward my front door. Before she left, she turned to me with tears. "I'm so very sorry for the mess I've made. I'll take care of it, but I'm begging you to take care of Jasper. He's a good man, and he deserves to have someone love him and look after him as he's done for Jake and me."

Without waiting for a response, she let herself out and left me alone in the living room of my sanctuary with a hell of a burden and a fuckton of guilt. The guilt wasn't mine, it was hers, but I felt the pressure of it as I pondered her confessions.

I loved nothing better than the memories of taking care of Jasper, and she was right. When she told him Jake wasn't his son, someone needed to be there to pick up the pieces. Could it be me? Could I get over my heartbreak and be there for Jasper? That was the great unknown.

##

Later that night after Alice Brandon left, I called Bella. When she answered on the second ring, I didn't wait for a greeting. "I need Rosalie McCarty's cell. Don't ask me why. I need to talk to her," I announced.

"Well, hello to you, too, sunshine. What's going on?" Bella responded.

I didn't acknowledge her question. "I need to speak with Jasper. I need to get his phone number from Rosalie, and I don't want to go through the fucking switchboard at _Thorn Publishing _on a weekend." I knew I was rude, but I wasn't exactly pleased with her at the moment, so all niceties were out the window.

"Crappola, what's wrong? I have Jasper's cell, you know. Rosalie gave it to me in case you wanted to talk to him," she offered.

"Good, good. May I have it?" I asked, tamping down my temper because my personal…love…life was the least of her or Rosalie McCarty's concerns. That was something to think about another time.

"Edward…" she began.

"No, Bella. You set this in motion by sending me to _Thorn_ with no warning. You don't get to bully me into giving you details. I need to talk with Jasper, so please just give me the _FUCKING NUMBER!_" I yelled at her. She gave me the number, and I hung up on her without a word. I took a deep breath and sent Jasper a text.

_**I'm ready to talk. Let me know your schedule. EAM**_

I was exhausted, so I went to bed. It had been a long fucking day.

##

I woke on Saturday morning when I heard my phone chiming next to me. I rubbed my eyes, still trying to process what had awakened me. After it sunk in, I sat up in bed and grabbed it, pushing the necessary buttons to get to the text. It was from Jasper.

_I was happily surprised to hear from you. I'd like to talk as well. I have two tickets to the game today, and my son has a birthday party so he can't go. Would you like to go? J_

I took a deep breath and prayed I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life.

_**I'll meet you there. Tell me when and where. E**_

I heard back from him immediately with a place and time, and I sent a response I'd be there. I took a shower, trying to calm my nerves because I was about to do something I never thought I'd do. I was going to meet the only man I ever loved in my life for what seemed to be a date. I'd told myself on the drive to Alaska I'd never speak with him again, but there I was, standing in my closet worrying about what to wear.

I finally settled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I'd turned on the news and it was supposed to be a warm day, so I decided it was casual enough without being sloppy. Why I cared…I wasn't dwelling.

I tried with my hair, but it wasn't cooperating, so I pulled on a Mariner's cap which had seen better days. I'd called a cab, and when it showed up, I told myself I was ready. There really was nothing worse than lying to yourself, but I took a deep breath and took the plunge.

I found Jasper pacing outside Safeco Field. He was in jeans and a t-shirt as well, and he appeared to be nervous. He also appeared to be just as gorgeous as the first day I laid eyes on him. He was wearing the same style aviator sunglasses I'd seen on him that first day, and I had to struggle not to let the memory cloud my judgment.

After I paid the cab, I walked over to him. His back was turned to me as he looked around, and I took the opportunity to take in his form from the back. I'd always admired the view from the back, and time hadn't changed it much. If anything, he looked even better.

"Jasper," I greeted, alerting him to my presence.

He turned with surprise on his face, and he pulled off his sunglasses, looking at me with those bright cerulean eyes. "Thank you for coming, Edward. I was afraid I'd be listening to the game over the speakers because I wasn't going in without you," he replied as he handed me a ticket.

I saw the seats were on the main level at right center. They were decent seats. "So, why couldn't your son come?" I asked, trying not to act too interested.

He laughed heartily, and I felt it wrap around me like a warm blanket, just as it always had. "He's going to a birthday party. He was all worried about it because it's his first boy/girl party. He likes the little girl whose birthday it is, and we had a helluva talk last night. I had to explain to him about me being gay. I'm pretty sure I'll catch hell from his mother tonight when she drops him back off because I was as vague as possible. How've you been since the last time I saw you?"

I felt the ice around my heart beginning to melt, and I wasn't sure if I was happy or mad about it. "I had friends over, whether I wanted them or not. So, um, are you and your son close?" I asked as we made our way through the line to get into the stadium.

"God, he's a great kid. I mean, he takes everything in stride, ya know. His mom and I are friends. Good friends, but not like you thought, Edward. I was never romantically entangled with Alice. It wasn't like that, okay? I know…Jesus, I know how badly I fucked up, but it was never anything more than friends. Anyway, when she called me _after_ and told me she was pregnant I sucked it up and tried to be a good dad. Unfortunately, I…well, let's just have fun today and skip all of that nonsense for now. So, the Caine Winslow books? How'd ya come up with that? Your mind always fascinated me," he remarked with a smile.

I began explaining to him how I'd developed a love for old mystery/suspense movies while I was in college in Alaska. "I wrote a rough version of the first three chapters of my first book for a creative writing symposium my senior year. My advisor recommended I pursue finishing the story, and when I asked my friend, Bella, to look it over, she sent it to her father. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I had a mystery series on my hand that ended up being quite successful." He nodded with a smile.

After we got into the stadium, we went to the nearest concession booth where we both ordered hot dogs and soda. "Edward, you can have a beer if you want," he told me as he paid for our orders.

"Honestly, I recently went through a hell of a hangover. I'm fine with a pop."

We took our food and drinks, and ambled through the crowd to find our seats. Once we were settled, we both ate our hot dogs, and as I looked across the field to the bleachers, I smiled. "Remember the time we skipped out on classes and sat in the bleachers? It was cold as shit," I commented.

He laughed. "It was like forty degrees. We were so fuckin' eager for spring, we showed up in t-shirts and spring jackets like two idiots. When it started raining, I remember us hustlin' our asses outta here and getting a cab home. If memory serves me, we warmed up in a…Yeah, I remember it." Oh, I remembered it, too.

"_Hey, there are still bleacher seats for the game. Let's ditch and go," Jasper called as I pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans. He was in the kitchen of our apartment, and I smelled the coffee._

"_I thought you had a meeting with your advisor this afternoon," I responded as I settled my t-shirt._

_I walked down the hallway holding my shoes and socks. He was standing in the kitchen buttering toast for me, and he never looked sexier._

_I dropped my shoes on the floor and walked over to where he stood, pulling him into my arms. I kissed him gently because he'd risen before me that morning, and when I woke to an empty bed, which wasn't a surprise, I missed him._

"_What time did you get up?" I asked him as I pulled back from the kiss. He laughed and shoved a piece of toast in my mouth._

"_After I fucked you well and good, you fell asleep, and as I tried to doze, I figured out what was wrong with my program for my class. I got up and worked on it. Came back to bed about four. Now, the game? Come on. We never ditch. It's like we're not normal. We can get tickets for seven bucks," he taunted as he kissed my neck. He knew, the bastard, I couldn't say no to him regarding anything._

"_Fine. What time?" I asked, giving up. He laughed brightly._

"_Meet me here at noon. The game's at 1:35. We'll have plenty of time. We won't regret this, baby. This is what we're supposed to do. We're college students," he told me with a slap to my ass._

_We went to the game, and at the seventh inning stretch, it began sprinkling. We ignored it. By the bottom of the eighth, it was raining buckets and the temperature had dropped twenty degrees, so we ran out of the stadium to grab a cab home._

_We were both soaked and freezing, so after we peeled off our wet clothes and spread them to dry, he suggested a hot bath to warm up. He made us both cocoa, and the night was incredible. It would only be a few months later when we were blown apart._

I turned to him and smiled. "I remember it well. There were even mini marshmallows in the cocoa."

He smiled at me, and when the National Anthem began, we both stood and sang along. When we sat back down, I remembered what Alice had told me as the color guard walked off the field. Jake's biological father was a soldier. I truly wondered if she'd ever tell Jasper or her son the truth.

We gingerly walked down memory lane for a while avoiding anything related to those last days we spent together, and I could see in his face he still cared deeply for me. After the game ended with the home team winning by one run, I stood at the curb with him. I owed him a piece of truth, and I couldn't hold my tongue.

"You were honest with me last week, so I feel I owe you honesty as well. I truly hate what happened that day, Jasper, but I've never…I still love you. You're my one who got away."

Just then a cab slammed to a stop in front of me, and before he had a chance to respond, I climbed in and closed the door, giving the driver my address. I didn't know what Jasper would do with the information, but he deserved someone to tell him the truth. So, I did.

\\\

_**Ah, so, um…thoughts?**_

_**Thanks so much for reading. I'm thrilled we're approaching fifty reviews! Welcome to any new readers, and to those of you who can't forgive Jasper, I feel you and thank you for your reviews.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews. Alice has a new nickname…Malice! Love it! **_

_**Let's get it on : )**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow. No infringement.**_

_**\\\**_

6. There's a Possibility…

##

JASPER

I was stuck to the sidewalk outside Safeco Field. He still loved me? _Edward still loved me?_ The only thing I could do was pump my fist in the air and start walking in the direction of my house. I didn't live anywhere near the stadium, but I was too worked up to sit in a cab so I decided to walk to burn off some energy.

Reminiscing with him about some of our exploits during the nearly two years we were together had been so incredible. Some of them were stupid fights over the state of the apartment on any given day because back then, Edward was a neat freak, and I definitely wasn't. Since I now had the responsibilities associated with raising a son, I'd gotten a lot better at taking care of my house, but back then, not so much. I remembered one altercation in particular.

_I strolled into the kitchen with dirty dishes and some trash, having just received a first class, ass-chewing from Edward because I tended to let shit set around when I was busy working on a project. I had an assignment due in my network design class, and I didn't see what the fuck was the harm with a pizza box, a dirty plate, and a few empty glasses on the coffee table. I'd been camped out on the couch since the night before, putting in an all-nighter. His bitching was pissing me off._

_I slammed the dishes in the sink and shoved the trash in the can. I looked up at him with defiance in my eyes and saw he wasn't exactly pleased with my gesture. "Check this out," he stated. He opened the dishwasher and picked up the plate, placing it in the lower rack without taking his eyes off me. "Damn. See how easy that was?"_

"_That's really fuckin' cute, Edward. I love it when you turn into a nagging housewife. I've been up all fuckin' night working on a project because it's worth twenty-five percent of my grade and you know that," I snapped._

"_Fuck you, Jasper. Do you know how tired I get trying to keep this place from becoming a garbage dump? If it was left to you, we'd have to wade through trash from the front door to the fucking bedroom. I realize you were raised with servants, but it wouldn't kill you to throw away your trash and put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Fuck, I do your laundry and clean the apartment. Is it too much to ask you to simply pick up your goddamn messes?" he yelled, hands gesticulating wildly._

_He turned to the sink and finished loading the dishwasher, filling the cup with detergent and starting the machine. He turned back to the sink with a sponge and some cleaner, scouring away as he always did when he was upset. _

_I knew I was in the wrong, and I really needed to get better about doing my share (and admitting my faults), so I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, settling my hands on his flat stomach and leaning in to kiss his neck. "Baby, I'm sorry. You're right. You're a lot better at this sort of thing than me, and I'll try to get better about it. Please don't be mad at me. Come with me and I'll show you something I'm very good at," I tempted._

_I felt him take a deep breath as I brushed my quickly hardening cock against his denim covered ass. I moved my hands down to his crotch, smiling when I felt him getting hard as well. I reached into the sink and took the sponge from his hand, tossing it aside. I grabbed a dish towel and gently dried his hands before marching him back to the bedroom and spinning him around to kiss him on his perfect mouth._

_He resisted, at first, until my tongue traced his lips which was something I knew he loved me to do. I felt his resolve soften when he wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed my ass as he opened his mouth to allow my tongue to explore._

_I kissed him breathless, pulling away and whipping his t-shirt over his head so I could smother kisses and playful nips over his attractive chest. We worked out together, and his body had undergone some incredible changes since we'd first met. I was happy to benefit from those changes._

_I sucked on his left nipple, feeling his hands in my hair to hold me there because he had overly sensitive nipples, and then I moved up a few inches and sucked the skin into my mouth hard, marking him. "God, Jasper, don't make me beg."_

_I pulled away, seeing the mark beginning to bloom and I was immediately overcome with smug satisfaction. "I do love to hear you beg, baby, but this time, it's me who has to beg for forgiveness." I lowered myself to the floor as I unbuttoned his jeans and whipped them and his boxers down, freeing his cock to bob in my face. _

_Edward was actually uncircumcised, and it was a bit daunting the first time I went down on him, but he showed me what he liked, and while I wasn't a pro because he gave me a lot more blow jobs than I gave him, I was getting better at it. I'd never been able to let him cum in my mouth, but that was about to change._

_I nipped at the sensitive foreskin and slid my tongue between it and the head of his cock, circling around the head and feeling his hands settle on _**my**_ head for support. "Fuck, Jasper," he gasped as I worked the skin with my tongue and licked the pre-cum from the slit._

_I went to work on him, moving my hand up to support the base as I worked his cock, trying to take him further. He could take me down his throat which was something that fascinated and debilitated me every time he did it. Unfortunately, I wasn't as skilled so I worked him with my hand, taking some of the saliva dripping from my mouth and working his shaft._

_I continued to show his impressive cock my appreciation, and when I felt his fingers brush my cheek which was the signal he was going to cum, I sunk down on him as far as I could, hollowing my cheeks and sucking hard. I felt his cock harden even more before he let go in my mouth, and I swallowed down what he gave me, not dwelling on the consistency or the slightly bitter taste of it._

_He finally pulled out of my mouth, and when I looked up at him, I saw his eyes were like silver dollars. I stood from the floor and kissed him as I pulled down my shorts, having skipped the boxers the night before after my shower. I continued to kiss him as I moved him to the bed. Once we were settled with me kneeling between his spread legs, I pulled away and looked into his eyes._

"_I'm sorry I'm such a shitty boyfriend. I'll do better, I promise," I told him as I reached for the box of condoms and the lube in the bedside table._

"_You're not a shitty boyfriend, love. You're a shitty _**roommate**_, and you won't do better about cleaning shit up, but I still love you and you know I love taking care of you," he whispered before he moaned as I slipped a lubed finger inside him. _

_I kissed him again as I got him ready for me, and much quicker than usual, he was begging for me. He covered my aching cock with a condom, and when I gently sunk into him, I felt so much love for him. I made love to him with tender kisses and sweet words, and before I released inside him, I reached between us and gently manipulated his foreskin, knowing he loved it. When he yelled my name as he came, the spasms from his body tipped me over the edge with him. It was a wonderful feeling._

The memory of that day brought a smile to my face and a hard-on to my jeans, so I flagged a cab to get home to relieve the pressure. It wasn't comfortable at all, so I promised the driver an extra twenty to get me home as soon as possible.

When he pulled up in front of my house, I wasn't exactly thrilled to see Alice's car in my driveway. I blocked all thoughts of my previous reverie so my cock would calm down, and after I paid the driver, I walked inside seeing Jake nowhere in sight. Alice was watching television, and I could tell something was bothering her, so I steeled myself to get an ass chewing from her regarding the discussion Jake and I had the night before about me dating guys. She and I hadn't talked much that morning when she showed up to pick up Jake, but she clearly had something to say now.

"Hey, how was the party?" I asked as I dropped my keys on the coffee table. She wouldn't look me in the eye, which was a red flag, so I took the remote from her and turned off the television.

"What's wrong? Is this about the discussion Jake and I had last night because, Alice, I need to start letting him get a glimpse of what my life might be like if I can figure out how to work things out with Edward. He and I went to the ballgame today, and we had a great time. It was just like it used to be," I gushed.

She smiled but it didn't exactly reach her eyes. "I'm happy you two are talking. Jasper, above all else, I hope you and Edward can get back what I took away from you. I know how you've struggled with your feelings for him, and I can't ever apologize enough to you…" she trailed off before she began sobbing.

I sat down on the couch and pulled her into a hug, worried about what had happened to upset her so much. "Shh. It's in the past, Alice. I want you to let that go. Hell, as sorry as I am it happened, I'd never want the alternative which means not having Jake in my life. I love him, and I can't regret what happened because we have him. I wish Edward would have hung around and let me explain things to him because maybe he'd be doing this with me, but maybe if I'm a good boy and say my prayers, I might get a second chance," I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Unfortunately, she only sobbed harder. "Alice, tell me what's wrong. We'll fix it together, just as we have since I found out you were going to have my baby," I whispered, feeling a ball of nerves begin to tighten in my stomach.

She pulled away and got up from the couch abruptly. "I'll pick him up tomorrow afternoon. You guys have fun tonight, okay? He had two pieces of cake, so he might be wired. Maybe get him out in the yard and kick the soccer ball," she suggested as she dried her eyes.

"Um, yeah, sure. Do you wanna stay for dinner? I'm just going to make a meatloaf. You don't seem like you should be alone tonight," I observed, seeing her nervously shifting from one foot to the other.

"No, I'm fine. I've got shit to do at home. I'm not angry about your discussion with him. He told me about it, and he seems to be satisfied with your explanation for now, so that's good. I'll see you guys tomorrow at four o'clock, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer, she hurried out the door. I went in search of Jake, seeing him playing his Xbox. "Hey, it's a nice afternoon. You feel like going outside to kick the soccer ball around a little?" I asked him. He held up a finger, and when I heard a massive explosion, he moved to place the controller on the console and shut off the television.

"Practice starts soon. Will you be able to come?" he asked.

I ruffled his hair and rested my arm on his broadening shoulders, amazed at the way he was filling out. When I was his age, I was a scrawny little geek. Considering Alice was such a petite, delicate woman, it was incredible to me he was already so tall and filling out at only eight. I'd never be surprised if he actually surpassed me in height and build by the time he was sixteen.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'll figure it out with Aunt Rose regarding work, and I'll get Uncle Em to pick you up at your mom's so I can meet you at the field straight from the office. I'm excited to see how this goes. I didn't play soccer. I played baseball, but I never got the hang of soccer. I'm glad you've found something you like. Go grab the ball from the garage and I'll grab waters," I told him. I watched him hurry to the garage, and I could only laugh. He was all boy.

##

After we ate dinner, I could see our little workout in the back yard had taken my son out. He was helping me with the dishes, and I was reminded of my earlier musings about time I spent with Edward. I had to shut that down because I definitely didn't want an embarrassing scene in front of Jake.

After the third yawn, I laughed. "Bud, why don't you catch a shower? We can watch a movie in your room until you go to sleep. You look like you're about to pass out," I teased.

"Sounds good, Dad," he agreed as he dried his hands on a dish towel. I ruffled his hair as he walked away.

I heard my phone chime at the counter, so after I finished loading the dishwasher, I queued up a message from Edward which simultaneously excited and terrified me. Would he tell me he wanted nothing more to do with me? Would he tell me it had all been a game to get my hopes up and then abruptly walk out of my life again to show me how much it hurt to be betrayed?

_J – I had a great time today. Can I treat you to dinner tomorrow night? E_

My heart was pounding out of my chest. I had a feeling it was the jumping off point, and I was going to do it with both feet.

_**E – I'd love to have dinner with you tomorrow night. Jake leaves at four. Tell me when and where, and I'm there without question. J**_

I let go a breath as I hit the send, hearing the shower turn on down the hall. In my wildest dreams, I never knew my life would be taking the path I wanted. It was so fucking great I pinched myself just to be sure I wasn't dreaming.

_You seem to forget I'm a gentleman. If I may have your address, I'll pick you up at 6:30. You still like sushi? – E_

I had to hold in the shout of happiness so I didn't scare Jake. I couldn't get my hopes too high, but for the first time in a long time I had hope regarding a relationship. Hell, I hadn't even tried to have a relationship since Edward, but if I was being given the second chance I'd begged God for, I was taking it.

_**Sorry for the oversight. I still like sushi, though I haven't had it in a while. 6:30 is fine. I'm at 312 Cable Street. I look forward to seeing you very much. J**_

When I heard the shower turn off, I walked back to my room and changed into lounge pants and a wife beater. I waited until Jake opened his bedroom door after getting into his pajamas, thinking about the possibilities of the next night and getting so excited, I worried if I'd be able to sleep.

Jake was popping a movie into the DVD player as I sat on his bed, resting against the headboard on top of the covers. He grabbed the remote and climbed into bed under the covers. "What's the movie?" I asked him.

"L-O-T-R," he responded with a look in my direction as if I was stupid. It brought a chuckle from me. It was his favorite movie, and the fascination for the Tolkien tales was something we shared. The first one, "LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring," was my favorite as well.

Five minutes into the movie, I heard his soft snores. I turned off the movie and the television. I kissed his forehead before climbing off the bed and turning out the light.

I went to my bedroom, closing the door almost all the way, and I grabbed my neglected guitar from its stand in the corner. It had been a long time since I'd played, but I was so fucking happy, I couldn't help myself.

I remembered serenading Edward with Goo Goo Dolls songs and other similar artists back in our old apartment. I quietly played the opening riff of "Slide." It was one of Edward's favorites, and I remembered one night just before Christmas break, he was studying for finals in our bedroom. I was in the small living room, quietly strumming as I ran through facts for one of my finals the next day. Playing helped calm my nerves.

_He heard me slowly playing the song, not at the quick pace as the Goo Goo Dolls played it, slowing it down to more of a ballad. He came into the living room and sat down in the floor leaning against my legs at my seat on the couch. I continued playing, and when I began singing, he closed his book and rested his head against the inside of my left knee, pulling my bare feet into his lap and massaging them. I had to adjust my guitar because the feeling of his hands on my feet had me immediately sprung. _

_When I got to the line about getting married, he squeezed my feet. It was something we could only dream about, but in that moment, I prayed a permanent relationship was in our future…that was if I could ever get over my fears regarding telling my parents I was gay._

_After I played, we went to bed and held each other. Well, we stripped off naked and kissed tenderly, but we both had early classes, so we settled for holding each other. I was perfectly content as I slipped off to sleep with my arms wrapped around him._

The next day after finals were over, we exchanged gifts before we went our separate ways for the holidays. I bought him a set of leather bound journals because he loved to write every night before he went to bed. I also gave him a Mont Blanc pen with his initials engraved on it. He kissed me for the gifts.

He gave me a thin cuff with "_One Day, We'll Live as One_" engraved on the underside and a bar of music from my favorite song, "Imagine," by the Beatles on the top.

It was in my dresser drawer in the box. I wore it until I determined he wasn't coming back to me, and then I put it away. I pulled it out from time to time when his memory weighed heavy on my mind, but I didn't wear it any longer.

I placed my guitar on the stand in the bedroom and went to the dresser, digging around to find the box. I pulled out the white gold cuff and slipped it around my wrist, feeling more optimistic than I ever had in my life. I had a feeling we'd find our way back to each other, and feeling it next to my skin calmed me. I climbed into bed and felt a peace I hadn't felt in a long time, falling asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in years.

\\\

_**It wasn't an action-packed chapter, but it set up some things and we learned a little more of Jasper and Edward's (lemony) time together in college. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Good evening! I'm so pleased with your reviews. I realize some of you will never forgive Jasper, and I can appreciate your position. Let's get to this chapter. The crappola is gonna hit the fannola, so buckle up.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow. No infringement.**_

_**\\\**_

7. Circumstances Beyond Control

##

EDWARD

I woke Sunday morning with a smile I hadn't had on my face in years. I'd asked Jasper for a date, and he'd accepted. I perused the internet to find a sushi place because I remembered it was his favorite food back in college, finally settling on "_Kisaku_" in Wallingford. I called to make a reservation for seven o'clock, and I began the staring contest with the clock, willing the hours to pass quickly.

Since I wouldn't be drinking, I decided to drive instead of taking a cab or securing a car service. I actually hadn't had the car out in a while, so I called down to the garage and asked for it to be detailed that day.

I worked out at the gym down the street, sans Felix because he and Bella had gone away with her parents for the weekend, thankfully. When I got home, I took a shower and had a good wank, remembering the only time I'd ever made love to Jasper.

"_I know I've always been the one to do you, but maybe you'd like a go," he offered as we showered after a run on a spring Saturday morning during freshman year. _

_We'd gone out with our roommates the night before and when they both picked up girls, we went back to my room because I hated staying in his. It was a sty with he and Tyler both being pigs, so when we had the lucky opportunity for them to either go home for the weekend or hook up, Jasper slept with me._

_I laughed. "A go?"_

"_Look, it's new to both of us, and I think we should try to figure out if I'm going to be the top or if you're going to be the top. Maybe we'll be a couple who likes to switch," he announced as he soaped me up, paying attention to my cock as he never had before._

_I was worried because I'd never fucked anyone, and what if I wasn't good at it? "Babe, I'm not sure if I'd know what to do," I admitted with a gasp as he washed my balls and stroked his finger against my entrance._

"_Hey, I figured it out, and I remember you were quite pleased with the results. Plus, I'd like to know how it feels. I mean, unless you don't think want to try it. It's up to you, babe," he asked._

_I swallowed hard and bucked up, literally, in his hand. "I'll try. If I can't, you won't be disappointed, will you…gah!" The pinch of my foreskin let me know he was all for me trying._

_After our shower, we wrapped towels around our waists and finished up by brushing teeth. I dried his back, and he dried mine, both of us climbing into my horrible little bed. I prepared him as he'd prepared me previously, and I slipped on the condom and centered myself at his entrance. "Tell me immediately if I do anything wrong, okay?" I whispered as I kissed his neck. He nodded quickly, and I pushed the head of my cock inside him after I slathered it up with lube to be sure I didn't hurt him. Mine had more girth than his though his was longer, and I didn't ever want to hurt him._

_Once I was properly seated inside him…which had me teetering on the edge of losing my shit fast…I took a deep breath, emptied my mind of all the nonsense, and went about showing my boyfriend a good time. I established a good rhythm which we both seemed to enjoy, and my confidence was building. Jasper began meeting me stroke for stroke, and when I glanced down to watch myself entering his body, I came inside the condom in record time. It wasn't the most stellar performance, but the sensation was such, I couldn't hold back. When I pulled out of him, I immediately took him into my mouth, and it was only a few bobs of my head and taking him down my throat before he shot off._

_After he stopped pulsing in my mouth, I slipped off the condom and tossed it into the trashcan by the bed, crawling up next to him. "I'm sorry," I apologized at the horrific showing I'd given._

_He was still breathing hard and his body had a slight shimmer of sweat. I leaned forward and swept my tongue over his collarbone, gathering the salty taste of him I loved so much. He shuddered pleasantly._

"_Dear god, why are you sorry? It was amazing, baby. Did you not like it?" he asked nervously._

"_No, no. That's not it. It's just I didn't last as long as you. I wasn't able to make you cum like you do me. Obviously, I'm not good at it," I lamented as I lie on my back, looking up at the ceiling in embarrassment._

_Jasper turned to me and kissed me gently. "You don't know how wrong you are. I was so close, Edward. I mean, you only had my cock in your mouth for like five seconds. You hit a spot inside me I didn't know existed. Hey, I didn't last that long when I was inside you the first few times. You're cock…Jeez," he whispered as he moved back to kiss my mouth._

As I released in the shower, I remembered how naïve I'd been back then. Over time, I'd become a more-confident top, and I'd certainly built up more stamina. I wasn't sure how it would go if Jasper and I ever found ourselves in that situation again because I hadn't bottomed for anyone but him. I wasn't sure about him, but I'd grown used to being the more dominant partner. I'd changed, and I hoped he could accept it.

I was putting the cart before the horse, to be sure, but I couldn't help the feelings. I'd forgotten how it felt to be in Jasper's presence and how intimacy with him could become a craving. The feelings were overwhelming, and they were something I'd missed.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I decided to shave because it was early in the day and by the time we got around to the date…because it _was_ a date…I'd have a little bit of stubble I remembered he liked.

I went to the kitchen after I threw on shorts and a t-shirt. I made myself an egg white omelet with peppers and onions, and I turned on _Meet the Press _for a little background noise. I missed David Gregory because he was pretty fucking hot, even if he was a straight guy. Chuck Todd was smart and everything, but I was a sucker for blondes.

My phone chimed, so I picked it up, hitting the button for the incoming text. It was from Alice Brandon.

_I'm sorry to bother you, but could you call me? AB_

I ate my breakfast first, and after I cleaned up the mess, I called her. "Hello?" she greeted quietly.

"How'd you get my number? How the fuck did you get my address, by the way?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm able to do a lot of things when I set my mind to it. I'm sorry to interrupt your Sunday, but JR got a lawyer, so I'm taking Jake away. I can't tell Jasper where we're going, and I just can't tell him…I can't tell him the truth," she explained with a sniffle.

_Goddamn her! _"You can't do that to him! If you take Jake away without any warning or explanation, Alice…I think if you come clean with Jasper and we're all there for him, he'll take it better. He'll be hurt, no doubt, but if he's been there since Jake was a baby, you can't deny the fact he's Jake's father, whether his blood runs through the boy's veins or not. If you take Jake away without an explanation, you might as well just hand him the bottle," I snapped at her without a second thought.

She'd told me to be there for him, but she wasn't planning to give him any choice regarding how he feels about knowing he's not Jake's biological father? She'd been parenting with Jasper for eight years. Even with his battle for his sobriety, she had to know Jasper loved that little boy with all his heart and while it would be a shock, Jasper wouldn't walk away.

Hell, I had more faith in Jasper than she did and we'd had a horrible break-up. Yes, he'd be upset…devastated maybe. But the Jasper I knew, the Jasper I loved, would come to terms with it. He wasn't one to run from what he deemed were his responsibilities. She wasn't giving him credit, but I was.

"I just can't, Edward. He's going to…it's going to hurt him and I won't stay here to witness it. You hurt him badly when you left and you didn't stick around to see the damage. Why can't you afford me the same opportunity," she snapped.

She definitely should have thought about that shit before she purported an eight-year charade. "You are the reason he's going to be hurt! You need to step up to the plate and take his vitriol, Alice," I told her.

I heard her sniff and then, "You're right. I'll handle it." She hung up on me, and I prayed…I prayed she wouldn't let him down. I had every faith he'd come around. She just needed to have the same faith.

##

I dressed in a pair of black slacks and a light blue button-down shirt, checking my appearance once more before I went to the garage to retrieve my keys from the attendant.

"Harry, I'm here to pick up my keys," I told him. He was in his mid-sixties, and he was a fairly affable guy. He always laughed when we talked about my car.

"Mr. Masen, Pearl's ready for ya. She's all gussied up. I think you'll be happy. We took extra special care with her," he offered. I handed him a hundred-dollar bill, seeing the gratitude because the detailing was only fifty dollars. The color was actually Morning Frost White, but the guys in the garage called the car _Pearl_, and I didn't argue.

"Thank you, Harry. I appreciate how you take care of her," I told him as I walked over to the car and hopped inside, seeing how perfect it looked. It was an extravagance to be sure, but I loved it.

"Have a great night, Mr. Masen," he called as I drove out of the garage.

At the red light, I punched Jasper's address into the GPS. After twenty minutes, I found myself in front of a lovely home in a nice neighborhood. I hopped out of the car which I parked in the driveway, and I nervously rang the doorbell. _I had butterflies tap dancing in my gut to be sure._

Jasper opened the door with a worried look on his face. "Oh, it's you," he greeted as he stepped aside.

I stayed on the porch. "I'm on time. We agreed on six-thirty, right?" I worried he'd changed his mind, but when a boy with big, brown eyes and dark hair showed up behind him, I knew something else was going on.

"No, no, you're on time. Please come in. Jake, this is my friend, Mr. Masen. This is my son, Jacob," Jasper introduced. I extended my hand, and the boy stared up at Jasper. "Shake it," Jasper ordered quietly.

The little guy did, and then he walked away. I looked to Jasper who was worried. "Please come in. Alice seems to be running late. She, uh, this is unusual for her. Jake, do me a favor and go get your hamper. Put it in the laundry room, will you?" Jasper asked.

The boy walked away, and Jasper pulled me into the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, Edward. Alice has never been late a day in her life. I thought they'd be gone before you got here. I know you don't want to see Alice, so maybe we should try this tomorrow night. She, um, she's not answering her phone, and I can't leave Jake to go to her house to see what's going on," he whispered.

"Do you trust me with your son?" I asked.

"Of course. Why?"

"Maybe you go over to her house and check on her. Sometimes things come up, or maybe she fell asleep and just lost track of time?" I offered.

He looked back when we heard a heavy thump coming down the hallway. When Jake walked into the kitchen, dragging a laundry bag behind him, I chuckled a bit. He looked unhappy, and I tried to remember being his age. Nothing really registered, and I knew I was the least likely person to be able to entertain an eight year-old boy, but I plowed forward.

"Jake, do you play video games? Your dad and I used to spend weekends playing video games."

I saw the boy's face light up, and he turned to Jasper. "Can I take him into my room? Does he know how to play Tiger Woods?" Jake asked with a light in his eyes.

Jasper laughed. "I'd guess he can play any game you want. We used to play all kinds of games back in the day. Explain to him how it works, and I'm sure he'll pick it up. I'll be back," Jasper announced. Jake hurried off and I looked at Jasper, unsure of what to say.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Will you be okay?" he asked.

"Sure. He's eight. What can't I handle?" I asked, feigning a confidence I didn't have at all. He chuckled and walked out the front door.

I walked down the hall, following the sounds of an applauding crowd. I found Jake sitting on the end of his bed smiling. I sat down next to him. "So, golf? I don't play golf, so you'll have to show me," I told him.

He showed me how to play the game, and while I wasn't good at it, based on his laughing every time it was my turn, I was able to keep him distracted for an hour before he paused the game and turned to me. "Are you my dad's…are you and Dad…are you dating my dad?" he asked, finally arriving at a question.

I knew getting antsy with the kid wouldn't be wise, so I decided to take another path. "We're good friends. We've been good friends for a long time. We lost touch for a few years, but we ran into each other recently, and we're both happy about it," I answered him as honestly and vaguely as possible.

I saw his shoulders sag a bit and I was worried. "Does that bother you?"

"No. I kinda hoped you were the special person Dad talks about. I like you." I felt my heart clench at his words because I hoped I was the special person as well. Without Jasper there to run interference, I didn't really know what to say.

"Your dad and I have been friends for a very long time, so no worries. I like you, too," I told him. I heard his stomach growl, and I looked at my watch seeing Jasper had been gone for a little more than an hour.

"Hey, you're hungry. Let's go see if we can find anything in the kitchen. If not, we can get carry out," I offered.

He turned off the television and took my controller, placing both of them on the entertainment center. "I think there's leftover meatloaf and mashed 'tatoes," he replied.

I followed him to the kitchen as he pulled out containers. I looked around the kitchen and found enough to put together a meal, so I fixed him dinner. After things were heated, I made him a plate and offered him milk for which he nodded. While he ate the food, I sent Jasper a text.

_**Your son's great. Is everything okay? E**_

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the front door. Jake had finished eating, and I was clearing the table. "Thank you, Mr. Masen. That's probably my mom. She loses the key all the time. I'll be back." He raced down the hallway toward his room as I went to the door seeing a huge guy standing there.

"Yes?"

"You're Edward? I'm Emmett, Rosalie's husband. I'm here to take Jake home with me. You don't have to stay," he told me.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked quietly.

"He's at Alice's house. It's not…she…" That was all I got before he broke down at the front door.

"Sir, what happened? Where's Jasper?" I implored. The feeling I had in my gut left me ice cold. Something was terribly wrong.

_\\\_

_**E/N: AAAARRRRGH! I know…I'm an evil bitch. What do we think? Malice sure was a pip with Edward, wasn't she? We met little Jake at least. I think he's so sweet.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: You guys are wonderful! Thank you for your reviews last night. I know you're dying, so let's not waste time! I'll catch you at the bottom.**_

_**SMeyer owns…I don't infringe.**_

_**\\\**_

8. Cowardice

##

JASPER

"Alice? Where are you?" I yelled as I let myself into her house after banging for five minutes. I was so pissed and frustrated with her, I knew I needed to get my temper under control. She knew how important it was to me to get things on track with Edward, and she knew I was expecting her to pick Jake up on time. There were times when I had to wonder what the hell went on inside her head.

It was quiet in the house, but her car was in the driveway so I was sure she'd fallen asleep and missed her alarm. She'd been behaving so erratic lately, and I didn't know why but I was sure it had everything to do with my parents and the threats my father had levied at her about which she hadn't told me. We were going to have a long talk in the near future. Jake had no details regarding what went down between Alice and JR, and I wasn't about to pump my own kid for information. I was damn well gonna pump her for information, though. We'd fight them tooth and nail with whatever they were going to pull. We weren't going to lose our son.

I walked back to her bedroom, seeing the bed empty. She wasn't on the couch, and as I'd walked by Jake's room, I saw she wasn't on his bed either. I glanced around her room seeing nothing amiss, so I tipped open the bathroom door because there was a light on inside. That's when I saw her, still fully clothed.

_Oh, God!_ It was gruesome. Blood everywhere on the floor as well as the bathtub. Her arms were carved up with a razor blade lying on the floor beneath her index and middle fingers extended on her left hand as if it had just fallen. I felt for a pulse, not surprised when I didn't find one. Her skin was so cold to the touch, I immediately called 9-1-1 from the landline.

While I remained on the line with the dispatcher awaiting the police, I called Rosalie from my cell. "I thought you had a date right about now?"

"Rose, get over to Alice's now. She…fuck, it's bad," I told her before I hung up.

I looked around her bedroom for any reason why she'd done what she'd done. She loved our son. There was no reason. I went to Jake's room and found two envelopes I didn't see when I first walked by. One was addressed to me and one to Jacob. I knew the police would want them, but I wanted to see what they said first, so I opened mine.

_Jasper,_

_I'm sorry I took the coward's way out. I love you. I've always loved you even if you'll never love me, but that's not why I decided it was better if I wasn't around. I've perpetrated a horrible lie on you. Jake isn't your son, and your parents want to take him from us. When the paternity test comes back and he's not yours, I…well, I don't know what to do anymore._

_I'm a terrible person for doing this to you, but I can't handle all the guilt and lies anymore. I thought about taking him away, but I knew you'd find us. I just couldn't face you anymore knowing how I'd lied to you. I messed up your life so horribly, and I can't live with myself another day._

_I don't know who Jake's father is because I didn't get his name. Yes, like your father accused, I'm a whore, but I love my son, as do you. Please, please take care of him. I have no one else to depend on. I wasn't good for him, but you are._

_Make sure he knows I loved him._

_Alice_

I read it three times and when I heard the sirens, I shoved it in my pocket, quickly opening the envelope with Jake's name on it.

_Baby boy –_

_I love you. Listen to your father because he knows best and he loves you. I made a mess of things, and I'm sorry. I just wasn't strong enough to fix it._

_I will always, always love you, as will your dad. Don't take anything for granted. Love with your whole heart. Talk to your dad about things. He's a good man._

_I'm so sorry to leave you, but I know you'll be in good hands._

_I love you always and forever,_

_Mom_

I took the note back to the bathroom, tenting it on the sink. I tore up the note she left for me and the envelopes, flushing them down the toilet as I heard the doorbell ringing. When I knew all the evidence was gone, I went to the door and opened it, seeing police and paramedics. I let them in and directed them to the bathroom. When I saw Emmett and Rose behind them, I pulled them into Alice's kitchen.

"Go to my house. I left Jake with Edward. Don't tell Jake what happened. Just take him home with you so Edward doesn't have to be there to deal with all of this crap. I'll explain it to you when I can," I whispered.

"I'll go," Em responded, hurrying out of the house.

"Sir, who are you?" an officer asked me.

"I'm Jasper Whitlock. Alice is my best friend and the mother of my son," I responded. Only_ I_ knew Jake wasn't mine, and it would stay that way for the rest of my fucking life. I didn't know why she'd chosen the suicide route, but it was too late to ask her. I'd worry about it later because I had a son to protect. That was my only thought at the moment.

Rosalie was trying to hold me, and I didn't want to be touched. "Rose, don't. Go home. Take Jake home with you. I'll get him tomorrow. I need to figure out some shit," I ordered.

Cops and paramedics were swarming the place, and I heard an argument outside. "Sir, you can't come in. This is a potential crime scene," I heard. _That_ was news to me.

"Yeah, well if it is, you'll want to talk to me because I've been with Jasper all evening. Let me in or I'll call my lawyer." I heard the hard bite in Edward's voice, and in that moment, I wanted him. Hell, I needed him.

"Let him in," I called. I saw Rosalie stiffen, but I wasn't going to be deterred. When he walked into the kitchen, he pulled me from my chair and wrapped his arms around me. "Jake's fine. Your brother-in-law picked him up. I fed him dinner. Jasper, I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

I broke down. I felt safe enough in his arms to do it, and I couldn't help myself. He held me as people moved around the house, talking amongst themselves. When they moved her out, I completely lost it, dry heaving in the sink. He rubbed my back, letting me know he was there, and I appreciated it.

Alice, with all her idiosyncrasies and her demanding nature, was a good person at heart. She'd flake out from time to time, and I'd keep Jake at my place to give her time to handle whatever was going on, but she was a good mother. She loved our son with everything inside her, so for her to do something so harsh…I was simply stunned.

Hours later…I didn't know how many, Edward took me back to my house after he locked up Alice's home. I needed to call her family, and I prayed they didn't know Jake wasn't mine because they'd take him from me, and I couldn't allow it.

He reached into my pocket, finding my house keys. He opened the door and led me inside. "How about some water and an ibuprofen?" he asked.

_Oh, as if that was what I wanted. _"Do me a favor and go to the liquor store. Bourbon sounds about right," I announced.

He walked over to me as I stood in my kitchen, and he turned me to look at him, staring into my eyes. "Sure. How about I get a handle for myself and we'll both fall into that bottle. I guess Jake will be fine on his own."

I snapped out of my fog of shock. "Where _is_ Jake?"

"Rosalie and Emmett have him, remember? I'll make you coffee, tea, or food, but I'm not going to let you throw three years of sobriety out the window. Give me your phone," he ordered. I handed it to him without argument.

"Who's your sponsor?"

"Peter."

I sat down at the table, craving the alcohol to make it all go away. If I could get numb, I could get through it and then I'd pull out of the spiral, I was sure. _I just need it tonight._

"Hello. It's not Jasper, its Edward Masen. You're Peter? Good. Could you come to Jasper's house? There's been…well, it's a mess, and he needs you. Trust me, if I knew how to handle it, I would, but he needs you more than he needs me right now," I heard through the fog.

"That's not true. I need you," I whispered, meaning every word.

My thoughts were spinning in my head because I couldn't begin to comprehend why Alice had betrayed me by lying about our son and then leaving me to break his heart. I thought we were best friends and co-parents, and I had her to thank for my path to sobriety. I believed she and I were on the same page regarding raising our son. She'd kept things from me I could never imagine in my wildest dreams. What else did she hide from me?

##

I felt a gentle kiss on my forehead and I opened my eyes seeing Rose sitting on the bed next to me. Her eyes were red, and I could tell she was freaked out. I reached up and touched the hand she had on my cheek. "Rosie, how's Jake? Does he know? How the hell am I going to tell him?" I asked as another raft of tears began to fall.

"He's with Em. They went to breakfast. He doesn't know anything, Jasper, but he's asking a lot of questions. I was going to call Mom and Dad, but your watch dog told me not to. I'm sorry, but you've got to…well, there are a lot of things to do," she said quietly.

"_Watch dog?_" I asked.

"Edward. He refuses to leave until he speaks with you, and he wouldn't allow anyone to wake you. He told me not to call Mom and Dad until you were awake and had your coffee. I had to bully him to let me in this morning. The only person he's allowed in the house without an argument is your sponsor. I can send Masen away, Jasper. If you don't want to deal with him right now, I'll get Em to make him leave," she complained. I remembered how things had proceeded the night before, and I was so fucking grateful.

"_I know you don't want it, but I'm going to make you something to eat. Peter said he'd be here as soon as he could, but I think it's best if you eat and go to bed. I know you're in shock, but I'm sure you're exhausted as well. Now's not the time for you to get sick, Jasper. Stress wreaks havoc on the immune system," Edward informed. I wanted to tell him to fuck himself, but my stomach rumbled, reminding me I hadn't eaten lunch because we were going for sushi on our date._

"_Fine. Just a small plate, please?" I asked. He heated up some meatloaf and made me a sandwich, just as I loved. He had grilled some mixed veg for Jake, and there was some left, so I had a bowl of that as well. When I finished eating, he took my hand and led me back to my bedroom, rummaging through my dresser until he found my pajama pants and a t-shirt._

"_Here. Go get comfortable. I'll hang your clothes if you'll pass them out the door," he offered._

_I was on automatic pilot because I did exactly as he asked. I really wanted a drink, but I could see he wasn't going to let me have it. I decided I might as well go to bed because the next few days…weeks…months…years…were going to be crazy._

_He turned down the bed and I climbed in, settling myself. He was standing by the door with a tender smile. "I'll just be right down the hall if you need me. Try to get some sleep, Jasper."_

"_Wait, please? Will you lay with me for a while? I don't want to be by myself," I whispered. _

_Without hesitation, he shed his shoes and climbed into bed next to me. "C'mere." I moved closer to him as he leaned against the headboard. He situated me so my head was resting on his thigh. When his hands found my hair, I immediately relaxed. I fell asleep with the gentle stroking of his fingers on my scalp, just as he used to do when I was stressed about something in college. It brought me comfort then…and it didn't fail now._

"That's one of the things I love about him. He's a caretaker. I need a shower, and I need to talk to Jake. Can you call Em to bring my son home?"

She nodded, but she looked apprehensive. "What?" I asked as I climbed out of bed.

"Jazz, I love you, but I'm not sure if it's good for you that Edward's here. Given the history with all this…"

I chuckled. "It's right that he's here. You have no idea of what the man's capable, Rose, and please remember _I_ fucked _him_ over. If he's here, well, leave it alone."

I went into the bathroom and stripped off to shower. I heard the door open and close, and I smiled. "I've got coffee. You have the crappiest coffee in the world. I thought I taught you better," I heard complained.

"You're still a coffee snob?" I asked as I washed my hair.

He laughed. "Of course I am. I'm happy to see you know how to clean a bathroom after all these years. Tell me what you want me to do, Jasper. I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I'm here for you and I'll do anything you need," he offered unselfishly.

I stuck my head out from behind the shower curtain. "Can you hand me a razor?"

He reached under the bathroom sink, knowing me too well, and handed me a new safety razor. I thanked him and grabbed the lather from the shelf in the shower, adjusting the mirror suction-cupped to the tile. "I need to call her parents. I guess I should talk to Jake first, but I don't have the slightest idea how to explain it to him," I said as I shaved my throat with shaking hands, trying not to slit it.

"Jasper, I'll call Alice's parents if you want. I mean, I don't know what I'd say, but I can figure it out. Regarding Jake, well, I'm no expert, but I don't know if I'd tell him the truth. He's just lost his mother, and I don't know if telling him it was by her own hand is the best idea. Do you…did you have any inkling she was contemplating anything of the sort?"

I finished shaving and washed my face. After, I turned off the water and saw a towel shoved behind the curtain. I took it and wrapped it around my waist. I ripped open the curtain and looked at him. "You don't have to…this is so fucked up. You don't need to be here and deal with this shit. Damn her for doing this." I was so hurt and pissed at her for what she'd done, I could scream.

"I'll go if you don't want me here, but I…we're not done, Jasper. I'm…You're…Fuck it. I still love you, and I want to be here for you and help you in any way you want or need. You tell me what you want me to do," he offered without looking up.

I was so fucking grateful to have him here I couldn't help myself. I pulled his chin up, seeing the tears in his eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him gently in gratitude. He kissed me back, but he didn't deepen it. He knew I just needed his support, and that was what he was offering. I'd never been more grateful in my life.

I brushed my teeth, and when I left the bathroom, he followed me out, sitting on the end of the bed while I dressed. After I was in a shirt and slacks, he stood and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly. "Tell me what you need. You know me. I'll take care of you and Jake, Jasper."

I took a deep breath of him, feeling the sensation take over my body. It was my home. He was my home. "Could you make sure Rosalie called Emmett to bring my son home? Also, I'll give you Alice's keys. Can you arrange for Jake's things to be brought home? I guess her parents will deal with the rest of her things. I own the house, and it'll be Jake's at some point in time. I don't have…fuck, I'm not sure how this is all going to work out. I'm a little lost right now," I confessed quietly.

"We'll figure it out…together," he offered as he kissed my cheek and walked out of the bedroom. I couldn't even think, but he could. He'd help me, I knew it.

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_**E/N: Many of you guessed it, and based on the reviews, I don't think many will be sad. This isn't the only revelation, I promise. **_

_**Thank you for reading. I'm truly honored so many of you are sticking with me.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Good evening! Thank you for your reviews. We've crossed over 100, and I'm thrilled. I wasn't sure anyone would give my story the time of day, but I'm glad you have. Let's get to it.**_

_**SMeyer owns…I don't infringe.**_

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9. Puzzle Pieces

##

EDWARD

I walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway after Jasper gave me the keys to Alice's house. I saw Rosalie standing there looking as lost as her brother. I was under the impression she and Alice were friends, so I was sure she was hurting as well, though I was certain her loyalties lie with Jasper.

I took her hands in mine and led her into the kitchen to give her an update. "I'm going back to Alice's house to pack up some of Jake's things. Jasper's going to call her parents and he wants your husband to bring Jake home. Don't let him out of your sight. He asked me to go to…is Peter still around?" I asked.

"He's asleep in a spare room. He asked me to wake him when Jasper was awake. Should I…fuck, Edward, I don't know what to do. This is such a fucking mess." She was sobbing, so I pulled her into my arms. I wasn't sure about her yet because I hadn't spent enough time with her to figure her out, but I was sure she loved her brother. I wouldn't judge her until I got to know her better.

She wasn't wrong about the circumstances. It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions, and I didn't know what would happen if anyone figured out Jake wasn't Jasper's son. After all of it, that would be the straw that broke the camel's back…Jasper losing Jake.

I kissed the top of her head and pushed her away to look into her eyes…Jasper's eyes. "Here's my suggestion. Wake Peter and make Jasper talk to him before he calls Alice's family. Do not…do not let Jasper out of your sight. If he gets to anyone who doesn't know…well he asked me to get him a bottle last night. That won't help anything, and you know it.

"I'll be back in a few hours. We'll get him through this, Rosalie. We both love him, and he's going to need us. Are you okay?" I asked because she needed to be strong. I'd been harsh with her earlier, but she wanted to wake Jasper, and I felt his mind needed the break, so I threatened to bodily remove her if she woke him. She didn't like it, but she waited for a while before she went to check on him.

She pulled away and grabbed a tissue from the counter, drying her eyes. I could see her steeling her resolve, and when she looked at me, I was stunned by strength in her features.

"I'm on it. We'll check in, right? You'll be back?"

"I will. Hopefully, it won't take long. Call me if anything comes up." She nodded and we exchanged numbers before I left. I went home to shower and change. I went to the storage room in my apartment building to a grab a few of the ever-present boxes, and I went to Alice's house.

I made my way to her bathroom, seeing the horrific mess was still there. I didn't know what I expected, but all the blood wasn't it, and immediately, I thought about Jake coming into his mother's home and seeing the macabre scene. I couldn't let that happen, so I took off my shirt and jeans, and I went to the kitchen to find cleaning supplies. I cleaned up all the blood and trash, sealing the mess in a bag to take back to my apartment building to toss into the dumpster.

I went to the sink to clean my hands, trying not to dwell on the fact I was washing the woman's blood away from the floor and tub…blood that was there in the first place because of something I said to her. The guilt of it was all-consuming. How would I ever tell Jasper she'd told me Jake wasn't his son, and basically, my callous words to her had caused her to take her own life? I didn't think I could ever do it.

I reached for the soap, seeing the dispenser was empty. I carefully retrieved a tissue to keep from smearing the blood on the vanity door and opened the cabinet. I moved some things around to find soap. When I picked up a tampon box, it felt a lot heavier than I thought a tampon box should feel. I opened it and looked inside. There weren't any tampons inside, but there were a hell of a lot of little brown bottles with her name on them.

I grabbed a bottle of facial cleanser and cleaned up my hands as best I could with it. I dried my hands and emptied the bottles on the vanity counter. There were at least three I recognized as anti-depressants, and I noticed each bottle was from a different doctor.

I went back to the bedroom to put on my clothes and looked around, finding a plastic case women used for make-up. I cleaned everything out of the vanity and medicine cabinet I perceived as problematic, flushing the remaining pills down the toilet but keeping the bottles. I needed a professional opinion, and I knew exactly from whom.

I packed up most of Jake's things, but they wouldn't fit in my car so I called a moving company, arranging for a small truck to pick them up that afternoon. I placed the boxes in the backyard as I'd told them I would, and after the house was locked up, I went to my car and sat for a while, holding the plastic case with the empty brown bottles inside.

Without really thinking, I called my Aunt Esme. She answered quickly. "Hello, darling. How are the bright lights of the big city? It's been too long," she chastised in her own loving way.

"Aunt Esme, can you and Uncle Carlisle come to town? There's a lot I need to tell you, and I will when you get here, but I need your support right now." I proceeded to fill her in on what had happened to me since the last time we'd spoken. Bless her, she'd been supportive during the conversation, and when I landed the bomb, she gasped. I didn't tell her Jake wasn't Jasper's son, but I told her about the suicide.

"We'll be there tomorrow. How's Jasper?" she asked, the concern evident in her voice.

"He's on autopilot. He's looking at the tasks at hand, and once things are said and done, he's going to crash, I'm sure," I responded.

"Are you…will you be able to deal with it?" she asked. She knew the history, and I appreciated her concern.

I took a deep breath. "Regardless of whether I like it or not, I still love him, Aunt Es. I've always loved him, and it never went away. I couldn't get over him. I'll help him as much as he'll let me."

I heard her silence, and I knew what it meant. They'd dealt with me when shit fell apart between Jasper and me. She was worried I'd be hurt again, and I was grateful for her loving nature. "Aunt Es, I know what you're thinking, but there's a lot to discuss. Just please come," I implored.

"Of course, sweetie. We'll need to shuffle some things around, but we'll be there," she promised. I thanked her, and I went back to Jasper's house. I wasn't sure what I'd be met with, but I wasn't leaving him to weather the storm alone. I was there for him. I'd always be there for him.

##

"Where's Jake?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen of Jasper's home. I saw Rosalie and her husband at the table with coffee, and they both looked exhausted.

"He and Jay are in his bedroom. Jasper's trying to explain what happened. I don't even know how he's able…" I heard Emmett sob, so I left the room for Rosalie to deal with him. For such a large man, he seemed to be a bit of a wuss.

I walked down the hallway, pushing open the door to Jacob's bedroom. The two of them were crying, and I knew Jasper had told his son the worst news a child could ever hear. I remembered that feeling. I turned to go, leaving them with their grief when I heard, "Edward, please come back."

I turned around to see Jasper looking at me, so I walked into the room and sat down on the side of the bed, taking his hand. I held it in both of mine, and we all just stayed still. There was nothing anyone could say to make it better, so we didn't speak. We just _were_.

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_**E/N: I know it's short. I fear I've left you with more questions than answers, but trust me, it all comes to light. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Thank you so much! I love reading your thoughts on the story. To answer a few questions…**_

_**(1) Was Edward supposed to clean up Malice's house? Wasn't it a crime scene? In answer, the cop calling it a crime scene was very early into the arrival of the authorities and I have to believe the paramedics would have assessed it as suicide when they examined the body. There wasn't any yellow tape up, and no cops had requested further statements than when they first showed up, so they figured it out quickly. (It wasn't in the chapter, but it happened…trust me ;-P )**_

_**(2) There's more to Malice, right? That's going to take a while to play out, but you'll be getting more answers as we go forward.**_

_**(3) Why does Edward feel so guilty? It wasn't his fault. I'll remind you he didn't know Malice at all. The first time he spoke to her was when she showed up at his house unannounced and unloaded the huge lie she'd been telling Jasper for years. In subsequent conversations, he was harsh with her, and next thing he knows, she kills herself. He and Jasper only know half of the story…you have all the information because you get both sides. Give it some time : )**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow. (Tissue warning? I cried. Maybe I'm a wuss like Em)**_

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10. Painful Truths

##

JASPER

After Edward walked out of the bedroom that morning, I began making a list of shit in my head. There was a quiet knock on the door and I prayed it wasn't Rosalie again because I didn't want to have an argument with her regarding Edward's presence.

I pulled open the door, bracing for battle. I was surprised to see Peter standing in front of me with a cup of coffee and the worst case of bedhead I'd ever seen. "Hey, Jazz, you want another cup of coffee?"

I chuckled humorlessly. "Only if it's got whiskey in it." I saw him frown, and I knew how inappropriate my humor was at the moment, but it was the first thing that popped into my head, and clearly my verbal filter was shot to shit.

"How bad's the craving?"

"How fuckin' bad do you think?" There was more bite in my voice than was necessary, but I didn't have a lot of tolerance for bullshit at the moment. Pete had seen me in a lot worse humor, to be sure.

"If you go on a bender, is it going to bring Alice back? Is Jacob going to be any less heartbroken at the loss of his mother?"

I rolled my eyes at him as I shoved my wallet and keys in my pocket. Something brushed against my left arm, and when I looked down, I saw the bracelet Edward had given me years ago resting there. It reminded me of too many bad nights I'd spent trying to drown his memory. That hadn't then worked either.

"No, no it won't. It certainly never helped in the past, and now I've got more responsibilities than ever. Thank you for being here, Pete. I know Char must be worried about you," I offered.

His wife was a lovely woman, and the things he'd revealed to me during my fight for sobriety proved she was a strong woman and loved him more than anything. He said she was the reason he finally got his shit together, and he owed her every sober day he had until the day he died to make up to her for all the hell he'd put her through when he was drinking. I remember thinking how lucky he was for that kind of support.

"She understands and offered to babysit Jake if you have things you need to handle. So, the Edward who called me and who's been protecting you like a rabid pitbull is _the Edward_? How'd that come about?" He walked in and sat down on the bed, so I joined him because clearly, he wasn't letting me out of the room until he felt I was in control and not about to steal a car to get to a liquor store.

I sighed. "We're in talks for a book deal. I'm sure Char's heard of him…Edward Masen. He's the author of the Caine Winslow mystery series."

"Wow, I had no idea when you told me about Edward it was _him._ Is he going to write more stories for the series and put them out through your company? That's a big deal, isn't it?"

I had to be very careful how I explained things to Peter. I wouldn't lie to him, but I would protect Edward's privacy at all costs. "He's going to write for us under a penname. He's still doing the mysteries, but he wants to go in another direction. Anyway, we've been talking since he came in for the first meeting. We were actually going on a date last night. When Alice didn't show at four, he watched Jake while I went to her house."

He nodded. "So, are you two trying to…is this going to make a difference with the two of you reconnecting? I mean, now you have Jake full-time. That's certainly a bit different than just dating a guy who had a child around part of the time."

I knew he was right on that count, but I couldn't dwell on it at the moment. I needed to talk to Jake, and I needed Peter's advice. "Look, I can't think about any of that right now. Edward mentioned it might not be the best idea to tell Jake his mother took her own life. I hate the idea of lying to my son, but he's only eight year's old, and how would him knowing his mother committed suicide affect him? I mean, it's going to mess him up because she's gone anyway, but if I tell him she took her own life, will he believe it has something to do with him? I don't know how I'd handle it if I was a kid."

I looked down and fingered the cuff on my wrist, thinking about Edward having heard the news his mother and father were dead. He was older at the time, but he'd always told me even though it was an accident, he still felt like he'd been abandoned. I never wanted Jake to feel that way. It would break my heart.

Peter took a deep breath and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "Do you think you can keep it from him? I mean, your sister, brother-in-law, the authorities, Edward, me and Char all know. I'd guess her parents will need to know the truth. What about your parents? It seems to me like the net has been cast pretty wide already. I don't know if I'd give him the details about exactly how she did it, but I think if you tell him she was having a hard time with things in her life that had nothing to do with him, it might be enough for now. Do you know why she did it?"

I knew exactly why she did it, but I wasn't about to tell him. I valued his willingness to keep my confidences, but he wasn't a doctor, lawyer, or a priest. He was an accountant, and I doubted they took any sort of oath to keep a conversation of the sort confidential…well, nothing that would likely hold up in court if it got that far.

"I'm not sure of anything. She left a note for Jake I need to get back from the police. She told him she loves him and apologized for making a mess of things she wasn't strong enough to fix. I don't really know what that means."

Just as he was about to say something, Em appeared at the doorway of my bedroom. "Hey, um, you want me to take Jake in the backyard and play catch or something?"

"No, I need to talk to him. He's got to be worried about where his mom is and why I'm not around. Thanks, Em." I walked out of the room and went to find Jake in the kitchen with Rosalie. He was telling her about an arcade Emmett took him to that morning after breakfast. I knew it was for distraction, but I wondered if Jake would ever want to go back to one after I told him why he got such a treat on a Monday morning when he should have been in school.

"Hey, Bud. Let's go back to your room for a little bit. We need to have a talk," I told him, trying to keep my voice unemotional. Starting to cry before I ever got it out wouldn't help him. He already had a look of concern on his face as he studied my features. I needed to be strong for him.

He got up from the chair and slowly walked back to his room, toeing off his sneakers and hopping on the bed. I sat down next to him after I pushed the door closed. I took a deep breath and prayed, "_Alice, you set me up to have to tell him this. You better help me get through it."_

"So, um, I bet you're a little confused about what's going on?" I began.

"Well, yeah. I mean, where's Mom? Is she at her doctor's appointment?" I felt my body jump a little because Alice hadn't ever mentioned anything about a doctor to me.

"Doctor's appointment? What kind of doctor, son?" I asked him quietly. He looked down and started fidgeting his hands like he always did when he said something he was told not to repeat.

"I don't know. I just know she took me to extended day before school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays because she had a doctor's appointment before she went to work. How come I ain't in school?" he asked, looking up at me again.

_School…shit, I need to call his school. I guess I'll be taking him out for the last week. I can't imagine it would be good for him to go back when people start finding out. I definitely need to find some sort of child psychologist to show me the ropes because I'm fucking lost._

"Well, um, you're not in school because something happened to your mom, Jake. She, um, she had a lot of problems I didn't…"

I saw his head snap up and a glare appeared on his face. "_Had_? Where's Mom?" _Fuck, he's too smart for my own good_.

"Your mom's passed away, Jake. I found her last night when she didn't come to get you," I told him as the tears started to form in my eyes. His face was blank, and I knew it was hard for him to process.

"Passed away? You mean, like _dead_? Like when anybody talks about Granny Alice how they say passed away but she's really dead? _WHAT'S THAT MEAN?" _he began shouting as I pulled him closer. He tried to shove me away, struggling violently against me or what I'd just said, but I wouldn't let him go.

I pulled him onto my lap and cradled him in my arms, feeling him begin to sob into my shirt. "Yeah, baby boy, that's what it means. I'm so sorry, Jake. If I knew she was having problems, I'd have helped her. I'm so sorry," I whispered into his hair as I cried with him.

Regardless of the fact she'd been lying to me about our son for eight years, I still felt guilty that her life took such a turn taking it was her only option. I worried I'd been too caught up in my own life and missed flags signaling something was going on with her. The heartbreak my son was experiencing was killing me. Maybe if I'd have been more in-tune with Alice, I could have prevented it? Truth be told, I'd never know because she'd taken the step and all of the truths went with her.

He stayed on my lap crying for an amount of time I couldn't measure. I felt something land on the bed behind me and turned to see Emmett standing there pointing behind me. I saw a box of tissues, and I nodded in thanks.

I snatched a few from the box and wiped his little face, seeing a lot of pain. "Honey, your mom loved you more than anything. For whatever reason she decided to take her life, it has nothing to do with you, okay?"

He scrambled off my lap and sat down next to me, grabbing more tissues as he continued to sob. After a few minutes, he looked at me. "She did it herself?" I nodded. He didn't say anything, so I didn't either. I held his hand and we both cried.

I heard the bedroom door creak a bit and I turned around to see Edward's retreating back. "Edward, please come back," I beckoned quietly.

He sat down next to me, taking my left hand in both of his as I sat holding onto Jacob's. We sat there for a little while, none of us saying anything. Jake withdrew his hand from mine and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose. "Does Grandma Mary and Grandpa Fred know?"

Edward started to pull his hands from mine, but I grabbed onto his right one. I needed to feel him next to me so I didn't lose my mind. "I haven't called them yet. Do you want to be there when I do?"

Jake thought for a minute and took my hand again. "If you want me to, Dad." _My little man._

"Thanks, Jake, but maybe it's best if I talk to 'em alone first. I need to call Grandma Lilly as well," I further explained.

His face turned to anger, and I was really worried about what he was going to say. "I don't want them to come. They said something to Mom when we visited them, and it made her cry. I don't want them here." Man, could I relate to that sentiment.

"Okay, Bud. Why don't you go see where Aunt Rose and Uncle Em are? Mr. Peter's still here, too," I told him. He really liked Peter and Charlotte, and they loved him because they'd never been able to have children of their own. They both doted on him as if he was a grandson. I was pretty sure Peter would be a comfort to Jake while I made the phone calls.

"Okay, Dad. Will you stay with him?" Jake asked as he stood up and turned to Edward. I felt Edward startle a bit, but Jake didn't notice it. I was a little nervous about his response.

"You bet I will if he wants me to. If he wants privacy, then I'll come find you and maybe we can check out the food situation," Edward suggested. Jake nodded and left the room. I got up from the bed and pulled Edward with me into my room, closing the door so we could talk in private.

"Jake told me Alice was seeing doctors on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She took him to school early so she could go before work. She never told me anything about it. Do you think she was sick? I mean, she left a note for Jake, but it didn't say anything about her being sick. How will I ever find out who they were?" I asked.

Edward sat down on the bed and clasped his hands, his forearms resting on his thighs. "Actually, she was taking three different types of anti-depressants from three different doctors, along with various other things of which I'm unfamiliar, Jasper. When I went to her place, the bathroom was…well, I didn't think any of you should walk in and see it like that, so I cleaned it up. I was looking for soap to wash my hands, and I opened the vanity. I found the pill bottles in a tampon box. I threw out the pills left inside, but I brought the bottles. Maybe those doctors are a place to start? I haven't had time to do any research, but I know someone who can get to the bottom of it for you if you'd like," he suggested.

I was surprised, and I truly appreciated his level-headed thinking. "Thank you for your discretion. I don't know who knows what, and if certain things come out, well, it wouldn't be good." I looked at him for a reaction, but I didn't get one, or at least not what I thought. He sat up and put his hand on my back, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

"I, uh, I think before you let anyone else into Alice's house, you should go through it. You need to look for any type of Will or insurance information. You'll need Jake's birth certificate, too. Your name's on it right?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah, it is. Thank God for that. I need to call her parents, and then will you go over there with me? I don't really want to go through her stuff by myself, but I don't want anyone else there in case I find something she wouldn't want people to know about," I responded. I wondered if she'd left anything behind to hint Jake wasn't my son, and if she had, I needed to find it as soon as possible.

"Like I said, whatever you need." He continued to rub my back as I pulled out my phone and called Alice's parents.

Her mother, Mary, answered on the first ring. "Jasper? Hey, son. I've been tryin' to get in touch with Mary Alice to firm up plans about her and Jake coming to visit, but I haven't had any luck. Did she lose her phone again?" she asked with a laugh.

Mary Brandon was a kind person, and actually, Alice's parents had taken all the news a lot better than my own when we found out Alice was pregnant. When I went to Mississippi after Jake was born, I got to know them and finally told them the truth about why Alice and I wouldn't be getting married. I was scared shitless about everything, but they both seemed to take it in stride. They were happy to have a grandson, and they accepted our relationship as if it was just as normal as anything. I hated the news I was going to have to deliver.

"Mary, where's Freddy?" I asked. She'd need him once she heard what I had to tell her.

"He's right here, honey. We're at the store," she told me. They owned a little general store in Mississippi. They said it gave them something to do since they'd both retired.

"Get him and go back to the office. I need to tell you something," I told her.

"Jasper, you're scarin' an old woman. _FRED! _Come here," she yelled. I heard her shuffling around, and I finally heard her husband tell her to quit yellin' like a wild woman. I heard the office door close, and then the phone clicked which let me know I was on speaker.

"It's Jasper," Mary informed him.

"Oh, hey, son. You finally gonna make an honest woman outta my little girl?" Fred joked. It was always the first thing he said to me. My usual response to him was Alice was just too much woman for me to try to tame, and we all laughed at that as well, him agreeing with me.

Unfortunately, the jovial nature of his comment caused me to break down because I was about to explode their whole world. I was sobbing so hard I couldn't speak. I could hear them both calling my name over the phone, but I couldn't answer. Edward reached up and took it from my hand, once again showing me he would take care of me.

"Mr. and Mrs. Brandon, my name is Edward Masen. I'm a very good friend of Jasper's. I'm afraid he has some news. No, ma'am, Jake's fine. Jasper wanted to tell you, but he's still in shock. It's about Alice. No, ma'am, she's not okay. She passed away last night. Jasper found her at her home. I, uh, can you and Mr. Brandon come to Seattle? I'll make the flight arrangements myself. Yes, ma'am, Jake knows. He needs family right now, and there are a lot of things needing to be done, so I believe Jasper would appreciate your help and input. Yes, ma'am, I'll call you back within the hour. I'm so very sorry," he whispered brokenly.

I looked up from my hands and saw the tears on his face. I was sure it was reminding him of when he found out about his parents, so I wrapped my arm around him and rested my head on his shoulder in comfort…comfort for both of us.

He ended the call and wrapped his arms around me. "Jasper, I think I have something to do with Alice killing herself. I think it's my fault."

I pulled away and put my hands on his face, sensing he felt guilty. I'd dealt with enough guilt in my lifetime, and I wasn't going to allow him to take this on himself. "Babe, I have no idea what brought her to make this decision, but I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. I've told her over the years I love her, but I don't love her as one should love a significant other. I promise you, this decision she made is based on something else. Lately, she's been acting off. She's extremely happy and hell, giddy for a few days, and then all of a sudden, she's somber and angry, even nasty sometimes. There was something else going on, trust me."

I couldn't say anything more without giving away what I believed to be the real reason, so I left it at that, hoping he wouldn't ask any questions because I knew I couldn't lie to him.

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_**E/N: As many of you have said, "Poor Jake." More things revealed…likely more questions.**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Happy Tuesday! Thank you for your reviews last night. I realize the last few chapters have been a bit of a downer, but things will get better…eventually. NKubie: Comfort Sex! I laughed. These boys aren't quite there, but we'll have flashback sex. Hope it'll hold you over.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

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11. The Oppressive Weight of Guilt

##

EDWARD

As I was breaking the news to Alice's parents, I felt my gut wrench. The more I thought about it, the more I was certain it was my fault Alice had taken her life. My harsh words had left her no choice in her mind, so she took a step I didn't see coming. I thought the worst thing she would do was disappear with Jacob. I had no idea she'd decide to take her own life.

I quickly pulled out my phone and began researching flights. "What's the nearest airport to them," I asked Jasper, who's head was resting on my shoulder.

"Um, fuck. They live out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Try Jackson. It's a drive, but it's the closest. Oh, you have to go through Houston," he explained.

I nodded and began my search. I got them the next available flights, and I called them back to give them the information. Thankfully, I got Alice's father. He was a very nice man, thanking me several times for my help. Hell, it was the least I could do, in light of the circumstances.

Jasper went to the bathroom while I was on the phone, and when he returned, I tried to assess his comfort level. "Have you had anything more than coffee?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Come on, love. You need to eat something." His head snapped up, and I rethought what I'd said.

I simply shrugged and took his hand, leading him down the hallway to the kitchen. Rosalie was cooking to beat the band, but it didn't appear anyone was eating. "Fred and Mary will be here tomorrow afternoon. Rose, will you call Jake's school? Ask them to get his things together and leave them in the office. I'll get someone to pick up his stuff later in the week. Where is he?" Jasper asked as he collapsed in a chair.

"He, Emmett, and Peter are outside. I think they're playing catch or something. Did you call Mom and Dad?" Rose asked.

"No. Jake doesn't want them here. Something happened when he and Alice went to visit last weekend, and he told me something he overheard. He heard JR tell Mom they needed to get a lawyer to take Jake away from the faggot and the whore. That's a direct quote. Jake said Alice cried on the way home.

"Now that Alice's gone, I know they'll take steps to try to get him from me, and I can't let that happen, Rosalie, for _many_ reasons," he stated firmly.

I wondered if there was something at Alice's house to alert him they'd already sought out an attorney. I hadn't found the backbone to tell him about the last discussion I had with Alice, but I needed to. I decided after the funeral would be soon enough. The next few days were going to be hard enough for him.

He'd said he needed me, and I wanted to be there to support him through it. I had my doubts he'd want anything to do with me after the truth about Jake's paternity came out and Jasper found out I knew it before him and didn't say anything. It was a risk I was willing to take because I wasn't so sure how to proceed, and until I had a better handle on things, I wasn't saying a word.

"Jesus, fuck. I swear JR's so goddamn pigheaded. I'll call them and tell them, but I'll make it known you and Jake don't want them here. If that's their attitude, I doubt Mary and Fred would want them here either," Rosalie observed, correctly, I was sure.

I made Jasper a plate of French toast and bacon, placing it on the table and forcing him to scoot forward. I got him some juice and coffee, and I leaned against the counter giving him the evil eye until he winked and dug into the food.

"Yeah, well, I doubt they'll listen, but you give it a go. Anyway, Edward and I are going over to Alice's house after I finish eating. Thank you for the food, Rose. It's great," he complimented as he doctored his French toast with butter and syrup before taking a huge bite. I stifled the need to laugh, remembering the voracious appetite he had back in the day. The man…boy at the time…could put away food like a damn wolverine. I was thankful to see he had an appetite with everything happening around him.

He swallowed and downed the entire glass of orange juice. I tried not to concentrate on the sight of him swallowing because there were too many people around for me to think inappropriate thoughts at the moment. He cleared his throat and continued. "I need to go through her papers to find Jake's birth certificate and any other papers I'll need to help the Brandons make arrangements. I also think I owe it to her to get anything out of there she might not want her parents to find," Jasper explained.

Rosalie nodded, putting up no argument which surprised me. "I hope you'll do the same for me if something happens to me and Em," she responded with a gentle smile.

Jasper rose from his chair and hugged her before taking his empty plate to the sink. "Let's not talk about shit like that. Thank you, Rosie, for taking care of Jake last night and for making all this food. I don't know how you were able to spend the night with him without tipping him off something horrible had happened."

She chuckled and smiled at Jasper. "You seem to forget my husband is just about as mature as Jake. He had no problem entertaining him to distraction. Do you want us to take him home tonight?"

Jasper closed his eyes and turned his head up to the ceiling, clearly unable to decide what to do. Hell, I didn't know what the answer was because I didn't have children, but I remembered when I lost my parents, and I was older than Jake. I wanted my aunt and uncle because I needed to feel like I had _someone_. I knew Rosalie and Emmett were Jake's family, but if I'd have lost my mom and my dad had survived, I'd want to be with him.

"Um, I don't have kids, but I remember when my parents were killed. If I'd have had one of them still alive, I'd have wanted to be with them, just for the reassurance. I only had my aunt and uncle, but it was a comfort to have them with me."

They both looked at me, and I could see Rosalie actually had a look of approval on her face which surprised me. Jasper's face showed gratitude. "Yes, I think that's a good idea. I'm going to go talk to Jake, and then Edward and I are going to Alice's. I'll be back." He squeezed my arm as he left the room, leaving me with Rosalie.

She threw the wooden spoon from the stovetop into the sink and wheeled on me. "If you weren't being such a support to him right now, I'd throttle you. If you'd have let him explain shit to you all those years ago, this whole situation might be different.

"Alice and I weren't close in the beginning because I believed she trapped Jasper with the pregnancy. Only after he started drinking did we form an alliance because we both loved him and needed to look after him. He was so hell bent on self-destruction it was imperative the two of us keep an eye out for him, for Jake's sake. We continued to keep up with each other to be sure Jasper stayed on the right path, and before you tell me I should have seen something was going on with Alice, let me tell you I didn't give a shit about her. I only cared as far as my nephew and brother was concerned.

"Yes, we talked about things going on…more of a head's up for trouble than anything else. I know I come across as a gossipy bitch, but all I've ever tried to do is look out for Jasper's best interests. I love him, and he doesn't really open up to me, so I have to get information where I can so I can protect him. I have no more idea why Alice did what she did than a man in the moon, but I _do_ know she came to talk to you. What did she say?" Rose announced.

I was surprised she knew about Alice's visit, and I worried she'd tell Jasper before I had the chance. I needed to shut her down immediately before things got any more out of hand. "Look, Rosalie, Jasper doesn't know Alice was in contact with me. She obviously didn't mention it to him, and I don't think it's a good idea for him to know right now. Let him get through this bullshit, and then I'll talk to him about things with Alice. I don't think him knowing about it would make this situation any more tolerable, do you?"

Rosalie let out a breath, seeming to release whatever anger she had for me. "I suppose you're right. Did she say anything to shed any light on why she took such a horrifying step?"

I sifted through the memories I had of the visit, and then settled on the one thing Jasper had already mentioned. "She said his parents were, indeed, going to try to take Jake away and she couldn't allow it to happen." I left it at that. The rest of the news wasn't for her to be the first to hear. It was for Jasper.

"Goddamn them. You know what? I'm not calling them. Jasper needs a lawyer. I'll get Em to give me the name of someone, and I'll see if Jasper wants to talk to them before the Brandons get here. I'm worried about them trying something as well." She wasn't exactly addressing me, so I had to assume she was thinking out loud.

"Are they the type of people who wouldn't want their grandson raised by a gay couple?"

She was silent, so I turned to look at her from where I stood watching Jasper talking to Jake in the backyard. Her eyebrow was crooked at me, so I asked her to clarify. "What?"

"You said _gay couple_. Are you planning to stick around this time, or are you going to disappear once the heat's off? If you're not planning to be here for him, and that includes Jake full time, I have to ask you to just duck out now and leave us to deal with him. After this, he won't survive if you take off on him again. Jake's just lost his mom. It's unfair for him to lose his father as well when Jasper goes back to drinking."

I took a deep breath, because what I was preparing to admit would seal my fate. "I love your brother. I'll stay and support him and Jake until he tells me he doesn't want me around."

She crossed her arms over her chest, clearly not finished. "What about your book? That won't help your relationship heal if it goes to print."

I hadn't even thought about the book, but she was definitely right. The way it was written wasn't going to help us at all. "I'm burning it. If you have any copies, please burn them as well. I'm going to write another one, because I'm intrigued with the genre, and when I have something I think you'll be interested in, I'll give you first pass." She nodded in agreement just as Jasper walked into the kitchen.

"You ready?" he asked looking between the two of us, obviously noticing the tension in the air.

"Sure." I followed him out the front door to my car. He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me.

"That's _yours_? I thought it belonged to someone else when I saw it the other night. What happened to that old Volvo you used to drive?" he asked as I pushed the fob to unlock it.

I laughed. "After the second Caine Winslow hit the best seller list, I decided it was time to get rid of the Volvo. I bought an Acura. I upgraded with each new book. When the last one hit the NYT Best Seller List, I dipped into my trust fund and bought this in celebration. I've had it about three months."

He sat down in the passenger seat, squirming a little. I laughed. The seats were absolutely incredible. I got in behind the wheel, turning to look at him as he observed the instrument panel. "Not bad, huh?"

"What the hell is it?"

"It's a new Aston Martin Vanquish GT. I had it custom built." I started the car and headed toward Alice's place. He was looking around and when he turned to look behind the seat, I saw him frown a bit.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I pulled into Alice's driveway.

"Nothing at all. It's a cool car. I could never have anything like it because I have Jake, but it's pretty damn hot. So, you still have the keys?"

I handed Alice's keys to him and climbed out of the car, thinking about what he'd said. I'd never had to think about having a backseat in a car because I'd never considered I'd have a child in my life. That was something to contemplate another time, but it was definitely something to consider.

He took a deep breath as we stood on the front porch. I put my hand on his back and felt him press into it which made me quite happy. He slipped the key in the lock, and we walked inside. I closed and locked the door, following him down the hallway to a room I hadn't gone into earlier because the door was closed.

I saw sketches pinned to the wall everywhere, and it occurred to me I had no idea what Alice did for a living. "What was Alice's profession?"

He looked around the room at the multicolor sketches and smiled. "She's a fabric designer. She's a first class clothing designer, but Seattle isn't exactly a hotbed of couture, so she got a job at a textile design company. She's good at it. Fuck, I need to contact them. I also need to check her messages and…" He broke down in tears.

I pulled him into my arms, holding him close to me and stroking his back with one hand while the other one stroked the back of his head. He held onto me like a lifeline, and I wouldn't let go until he did.

After several minutes, he pulled back, drying his eyes. "I'm sorry. I guess that's going to happen a lot. She was my best friend, and it seems crazy she's gone."

I stroked his cheek gently, looking into his bottomless blue eyes. "You never have to be sorry for expressing emotions, Jasper. Holding those things inside will only eat away at your soul. I know that as a fact. After my parents…well, let's just say I thought I had to be this stoic young man. If it wasn't for Aunt Esme, I don't know how it would have turned out for me," I whispered feeling the gravity of the words.

"How _are_ Esme and Carlisle?"

"They're well. They'll be here sometime tomorrow."

His eyes went wide, and I chuckled. "Jasper, they know how important you've always been to me. When I called them, they said they'd be here without a moment's hesitation. They've always liked you, and when I told them about…before I went to Alaska to finish school, I told them the whole thing, and they both told me what a fool I was for not talking to you. You've always had a special place in their hearts, and they want to be here to support you as well."

He nodded and began searching Alice's desk as I walked around the room, taking in her sketches. She had a brilliant sense of design and color, pairing various hues and shades I'd have never imagined. It was truly a loss on another level I'd never considered. It made me feel even guiltier.

"Fuck," I heard hissed behind me. I turned to see Jasper reading a letter from the pile of mail on Alice's desk. I wanted to ask what it was, but it really wasn't my place.

"Seems my assumption was right. Mom and JR got a lawyer. Goddamn. That's all the fuck I need. It won't go in my favor," he mumbled.

"Why?" I asked. He looked up and seemed startled I was there. There didn't appear to be a reason in my mind why his parents would get custody of his son from him. I was confused, but maybe it was the wrong time to discuss it.

"I'm sorry. I just…look, I can go sit in the other room if you'd prefer." I wasn't sure what else to say.

"No, please. Look, I lied about Alice not leaving a note for me. She did. I read it and ripped it up, flushing it down the toilet. If anyone knew the contents of that letter, I'd lose Jake in a heartbeat. I can't let that happen, so I'm going to have to…fuck, I don't know what to do," he lamented as he tossed the letter on the desk in my direction.

I read it. It was from a New York attorney telling Alice that John Randall and Lillian Whitlock were filing a petition for custody of Jacob Brandon Whitlock. I felt sick to my stomach. "Is the petition attached to something? It should be here somewhere. We need to get a lawyer, and we need to find out why you weren't…you weren't served, were you?" I asked.

He thought for a minute and frowned. "I've had so much shit on my mind lately, I haven't gotten my mail. I pay all my bills on-line, so sometimes I forget to check the box. Fuck."

"Look for anything that looks like a legal document. I'd say bring her computer home with you because you can hack into it if you've kept up your incredible skills. Why don't we just grab her files to take to your place for you to go through later? You should go check in her bedroom for anything you think should be removed. I'll go look in the kitchen and living room. They're more innocuous, but…"

"Fuck, she's got some of my porn in a box in the garage. Grab that, will ya?" I nodded and went back to the other rooms as he began gathering files.

I heard a commotion outside and saw the movers I'd hired to bring Jake's things back to Jasper's. I stuck my head out the door. "_Hey, don't leave yet!_ I might have more stuff." The larger guy nodded, and I went to the garage, locating a box with Jasper's name on it. I opened it and saw a lot of gay porn inside, laughing to myself. I knew where he developed the taste for it…me. Even under the circumstances, my cock got hard as I remembered the first time we watched it together.

"_Oh, yeah," I groaned as I stroked my hard cock, watching two guys on the big screen sixty-nining each other. It was definitely something I wanted to try with Jasper, and when I found the video at a sex shop off campus, I bought it immediately. I'd seen porn online, but nothing like what I found at the store._

_I was close to coming…so fucking close…when I heard the front door open and close. "Babe, I'm home. I brought Chinese from that place you like near school," Jasper yelled. I heard him slipping off his shoes, and I realized I had two problems. I was sitting on our couch with my dick hanging out and my hand slicked up, and the two guys on the screen were loud enough he could hear it from the entryway. Oh, and the remote had disappeared somewhere._

"_God, baby," one of them moaned which brought Jasper into the room like an Olympic sprinter._

"_What the hell is…well, well, what do we have here? My boyfriend is home in the middle of the afternoon yanking his crank while he watches porn. Why didn't you wait for me?" he asked as he strolled over to the couch with a smug smile on his face._

"_Fuck you, jackass," I told him as I tried to stuff myself back into my boxers and jeans. He sat down and grabbed my hand._

"_Let's not be hasty. Whatcha got here?" he asked as he pulled the remote from under the coffee table, turning up the volume._

_I wanted to hide _under_ the coffee table, but as his hand found my cock, I couldn't move. "You shoulda waited for me, baby." He continued to stroke me, sending me into madness. I closed my eyes, and the sounds of the men on the television plus the feel of his hand working me, had me insane with desire._

_When he manipulated my foreskin, I shot off in his hand with unabashed glee and his name shouted from my lips. "JASPER!"_

_He lifted his hand and licked my ejaculate off it, which was better than the visual on the screen. "Now, what brought this on? Do you do this all the time?"_

_I reached for the tissues on the end table and handed him a couple as I took a few for myself. "I wanted to try to make up for my poor showing last time I tried to make love to you," I defended, remembering how quickly I'd shot my wad when I fucked him for the first time._

_He leaned forward and kissed me. "You've gotta get over that. It wasn't a poor showing, Edward. It felt fucking great. Now, are you interested in doing something like that with me?" he asked as the two guys seemed to be climaxing at the same time based on the fact they'd stopped sucking and were both shooting off on each other._

"_Yeah, but I'd rather swallow what comes out of you instead of wear it," I teased as I turned off the video._

_He took my hand and led me down the hallway to our bedroom. "Next time, you wait for me. Let's get a shower to get the lube off you. I'd definitely like us to give sixty-nine a go," he teased as he began unbuttoning his jeans._

_I didn't hesitate to strip off, and after the clean-up, we got very dirty, my mouth on his cock as his was on mine. I lasted substantially longer than I had the first time I made love to him, and Jasper surmised a pre-emptive strike might help me in the future, to which I agreed immediately. It was a very good night for the two of us. _

I shook off the memory and adjusted myself in my slacks. I put the lid back on the box, grabbed some shipping tape hanging on the wall to seal up the box, and wrote "garage" on top of it so Jake didn't end up with something he definitely wasn't ready for in his room. Someday, I'd have to ask Jasper how his porn ended up at Alice's house. Well, it would definitely be a conversation for the distant future.

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_**E/N: We're getting there, I promise. **_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews. I'm so happy you're reading and leaving me feedback. Let's get to it.**_

_**Smeyer owns…I borrow.**_

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12. Searching for More Truths

##

JASPER

I sent Edward off to do other things as I pulled out the files from Alice's desk. Thank God, she was organized because I found Jake's birth certificate and shot record, along with report cards and school information. I found a folder with all of her financial information which would come in handy with regard to settling her estate.

I continued to flip through the files and found one with my name on it. I pulled it out and opened it. There was a note written on the inside cover.

_Jazz,_

_If you're finding this, I'm gone. I had a Will prepared, leaving everything to Jake with you as the executor and trustee. I want to be cremated as soon as possible. Don't let my parents talk you into anything else. _

_I have no idea how old I'll be when this happens, but I have to thank you for giving me Jacob. Without you, I'd probably have never become a mother._

_I'll always love you,_

_Alice_

There was a date at the bottom that was near Jake's first birthday. It was obvious to me she never intended to tell me Jake wasn't my son, and it made me resolute not to let anyone take him away. I needed a plan, and I needed to get my shit together. There was no two ways about it.

I stacked the files on the desk and went to her bedroom. I went through her nightstand, gathering a few sex toys and condoms. There wasn't anything else in there, so I went to her dresser, finding her lingerie drawer. There were some pretty risqué things in there which I tossed on the bed as well, and when I opened her jewelry box, there was a note.

_Take my phone as well. It's plugged into the outlet in the kitchen by the toaster. Let Edward take care of you, and if you start drinking again, I'll come back and haunt you. It wasn't your fault so let go of the guilt right now. A_

I shoved it in my pocket just as Edward walked back into the room with a trash bag and a box. "I put the files you left on the desk in a box, and loaded it in the trunk. Anything in here?"

I pointed to the bed, seeing his eyes widen when he saw the things I'd accumulated. He began filling the bag as I filled another box with a few pictures of her and Jake I knew he'd want. I walked through the house, gathering more photos and placing them in the box. The rest of it, well, I'd let her parents figure it out later.

##

Later that night, everyone had left except for Edward. He and Jake had spent time playing a game while I was busy reviewing some of Alice's files to figure things out before her parents arrived the next day. I looked up at the kitchen clock to see it was late, so I cleared up the files and went to the living room, finding Edward alone. "Where's Jake?" I asked.

"He was tired, so I sent him to get ready for bed. He's in the shower. I guess I better get ready to go," he responded.

I wanted to ask him to stay, but I was trying not to seem so fucking needy. I _was_ needy, and starting a relationship under the circumstances was ridiculous, but I simply didn't want to be alone.

Jake walked into the living room in his pajamas, and he crawled onto my lap. "How ya doin', Bud? Grandma and Grandpa will be here tomorrow afternoon," I offered as he snuggled into my chest.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" he whispered.

Edward stood from the chair in which he was sitting. "I'll be back in the morning. If you need anything, Jasper, call me."

Jake bolted from my lap and went to the house phone, punching a couple of numbers. "Aunt Rose, Edward's leaving. I'll turn on the light. Bye."

I stood up and looked at my son. "What on earth was that about?"

"Aunt Rose told me if Edward doesn't stay I'm 'posed to call her. She's coming over."

"_JACOB! _I don't need your aunt to babysit me," I complained.

He looked at Edward. "If you stay, she won't come over."

I couldn't allow my sister to blackmail him through my son. "Edward, you don't have to…"

"I'll take the spare room. Let me get my bag from the car." He walked out of the house without another word and returned a few minutes later with a leather bag, shocking the hell out of me.

"Call Rose back," I ordered to Jacob.

He laughed, as did Edward. Jake walked over to him and the two high-fived each other. "Told you," Jake laughed which made me smile because he had barely spoken all day.

"Okay, when my son and my boyfriend start conspiring behind my back, I have a problem," I stated without thinking. _That fucking verbal filter..._

Edward looked at Jake and held up his hand again. "Told you." They slapped hands again, and I wanted to melt into the hardwood floor.

"Seriously? Call your aunt," I ordered.

"I didn't call her, Dad. I told Edward if I threatened to have Aunt Rose come over, you'd want him to stay, and I was right. I'm going to brush my teeth. I'll meet you in bed," Jake announced as he left the room after a quick hug with Edward.

"Night, Jake." Edward watched him walk down the hallway with a smile on his face.

When we heard the water turn on in Jake's bathroom, he walked over to where I stood dumbfounded. "I'm sorry, love, but he wanted me to stay, and well, who could turn down that face? I was pretty sure you wouldn't ask, and I didn't know how to ask, so I left it to your very creative son to come up with a plan." He pulled me into a hug, and I appreciated it.

I pulled away and looked at him. "I'm sorry I said the thing about…wait a minute, when I called you my boyfriend, you said 'told you' to Jake. What's that about? I just forgot…hell, having you around is so fucking natural I forgot myself."

"I told him things were going to be fine between the two of us and he didn't need to worry about you. I told him I'd take care of the two of you," Edward explained with a small smile. He leaned forward and kissed me gently on my lips, teasing them with his tongue.

I couldn't resist, feeling needier than I ever had in my life. I didn't know where things would end up between Edward and me, but I needed to feel him…taste him. I opened my mouth to his and felt him against me again, igniting my body as he always had in the past. I couldn't hold back, and it wasn't just because of the circumstances. It was because I'd missed him so much, and after so many years, it felt so good to feel him in my arms and taste him on my tongue again.

We kissed, and it was definitely going to lead somewhere, but when I heard the water shut off in the bathroom, I pulled away to catch my breath. "I've gotta…um."

He leaned forward and kissed me chastely. "It's okay. Where are the towels? I'd like to…no, I _need_ to shower before I go to bed."

I laughed. "Hall linen closet. Thank you for staying, Edward. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me," I told him as I took his hand and kissed his palm.

He smiled at me and squeezed my hand. "I'm glad you allowed me to stay."

Just before he was about to walk away, I took his arm and pulled him to look at me. "If I didn't think you'd freak out it was too soon, I'd have asked you. I need you, and I'm not ashamed to admit it." I watched his face to see if there was any fear.

The smile gave me pause. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I need you too, Jasper. I've never stopped needing you."

Without waiting for a response from me, he left the room. I heard the hall closet open and close, and when the bathroom door closed, I snapped out of it. What he'd said…it floored me.

##

I woke to see Edward in a chair in the corner of the room, sound asleep. Jake was cradled in my arms. It was then I remembered he'd had a bad dream and woke screaming. I tried to wake him before he woke Edward, but I wasn't fast enough. Edward raced into the room, turning on the bathroom light and sitting down on the bed next to us, stroking Jake's back.

"Shh, you're safe. It's okay, little man," I chanted as I rocked him in my arms. Jake finally woke, and we had a good cry before we both fell back to sleep. I had no idea Edward slept in the chair. I untangled myself from my son, and rose from the bed. It was six in the morning, and Edward's neck was craned in a very uncomfortable way.

I walked over to the chair, placing my hand against his stubbly cheek. When his eyes popped open, I saw his concern. "I'm sorry to wake you, sweetheart, but your neck is gonna hurt like hell. It's early. Go to bed," I whispered. He glanced at my bed, smiling when he saw Jake sprawled out.

"He's not a small boy, is he?" Edward whispered as he rose and stretched, giving me a view of that lovely body I'd missed so much.

We walked down the hall to the kitchen where I made coffee. "I have things I need to tell you, Edward, but before I do, I need to know your plans? What was the scene I walked into yesterday between you and Rosalie?" It had bothered me, but I'd neglected to ask about it.

"She told me if I was just hanging around to get you through this I should get the hell out of here. She brought up the book, and I told her to burn it. It's not…that story isn't the truth because I didn't do my fact finding as I should have. I didn't stick around to allow you to explain the dilemma you were in. I wish to hell you'd have tied me to a chair to explain it after the fact or talked to me before it happened and let me know what was going on in your head, but we were young, and we were naïve. Don't get angry with Rosalie. She only has your best interests at heart, Jasper," he responded.

I sighed, knowing he was right, so I took a chance. "I need to contact Alice's lawyer and get the process moving forward regarding her Will. She had some very definite ideas about what she wanted, and her parents aren't going to be happy, but it was what she wanted, and I'm the executor. I have to take a chance they won't have too many questions because there are some things I don't want coming out. I can't…I don't want to tell you because I don't want my parents to come after you as a material witness. I don't know how the hell I can fight them without being completely honest. If I'm completely honest, I can lose Jake forever," I confessed…sort of.

I saw his face was tense. His jaw was pulsing as if he was grinding his teeth which was his tell that he had something to say but wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. "You have something to say. Just say it," I ordered.

"Fuck. Okay, but don't jump to a conclusion before you listen to everything," he demanded. I nodded as I poured the two of us coffee.

I sat down at the table, as did he. He took a sip of the scalding hot coffee, and I saw the scowl which nearly made me laugh, but I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Alice came to see me. She got my address from somewhere and showed up at my house on Friday night, I guess after she dropped off Jake. She told me what happened between the two of you which was what you told me. It wasn't that I didn't believe you, Jasper, but I won't lie and say her take on it didn't spur me to send you the text I wanted to talk. She made a very convincing argument I couldn't rebuke, so I sent the text I wanted us to get together. I would have contacted you eventually, but her words sped up the process."

I was stunned she'd gone to see him, and I needed to make sure he understood one thing. "I didn't ask her to…"

He held up a hand to stop me. "I know that. She made it very clear you didn't know she was coming to see me. It wasn't exactly friendly, but I understand she was someone special to you. She wanted to make things right between us, I think. That was the foremost thing on her mind it seemed."

I wasn't surprised at Alice's actions. I was surprised he'd given her the time of day after everything that happened. "She was always, always sorry about that shit. She told me many times how sorry she was, and I believe her."

"She apologized, and she told me…"

Just then, Jake came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Without any forethought, he climbed onto Edward's lap because he was sitting in my usual chair. I was completely shocked when Edward pulled him into his arms and laid his cheek against the top of Jake's head without a moment's hesitation.

"Hungry?" he whispered. Jake nodded without looking up, quickly falling back to sleep in Edward's arms which didn't seem to bother him at all.

I took in the sight of the two of them and it looked so natural. I prayed with everything inside me it wasn't just because of the circumstances. At some point, we needed to talk, but there was so much shit going on at the moment I didn't have the energy.

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_**E/N: I know…another missed opportunity. This scene isn't near finished, so rest assured, things are moving forward. In their own way, they're laying the foundation they'll need to get through the rest of it. Cross my heart…**_

_**[Side note: I enjoy slash…obviously. I've only ever read it with Twilight characters, and (no offense) most of the authors are women…wonderful women. I ventured off the site today and did a google on other Gay Male Erotic Literature, and I found a great site if you're interested in reading slash written by guys…it's a lot different than the stories we write… Nifty(d0t)org. They're much less restrictive, and there are a lot of sub-genre's I wouldn't be interested in, but there are some very good stories with original characters. Just thought I'd mention it.]**_

_**Thanks for reading.**_

_**Till tomorrow…xoxo**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: HELLO! I'm shocked I'm back up and running, but I did learn that if you call your cable provider six or seven times and complain about waiting for the service person to show, they'll get someone out, even at ten o'clock on a Thursday night, just to shut you the eff up. **_

_**Thank you for your reviews! I'm over 150 and so happy about it. Let's get to it.**_

_**Just to recap, Edward and Jasper are in the kitchen and just as Edward is about to tell Jasper about his interaction with Alice, Jacob walked in and plopped on Edward's lap, ending conversation.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

13. Those Left Behind

##

EDWARD

I held Jake in my arms on my lap, seeing the look on Jasper's face. He was torn, and if I wouldn't have been holding his son, I'd have pressed it, but at that moment, the boy who was sleeping against me was all I was worried about.

"We'll talk later. Should I put him back in bed?" I whispered as my cheek rested against the top of Jake's head. He was such a great kid, and I would do anything I had to do to make certain Jasper didn't lose him.

Jasper laughed quietly as he began pulling out skillets and placing them on the stovetop. "He'll wake up in a few minutes. The boy can't resist the smell of bacon. Orange juice?" he asked as he went to the fridge and pulled out a pitcher and a carton of eggs. I watched him move around his kitchen, and I laughed, remembering a time when the man couldn't boil water.

"You learned to cook?" I asked quietly as I watched him mixing up pancakes.

"I actually learned from you, smartass. I'd sit in the kitchen and watch you make us breakfast every Sunday. Things rubbed off. You shouldn't really be surprised, Edward. We taught each other a lot of things," he responded with a wink. Oh, I remembered all of those things, but with his son in my lap it wasn't exactly the most appropriate time for reminiscing.

"Stop. I'm holding your son," I joked feeling Jake burrow in a little.

"You're bein' loud," he whispered which brought a chuckle from me.

"Sorry, Jake. You want some juice?" I asked as Jasper poured the juice in the glasses on the table. Jake climbed down from my lap and sat in a chair, still appearing to sleep. I passed him a glass and then took one for myself.

"Over hard or scrambled," Jasper asked.

"Up to him," I said, pointing to Jake who suddenly seemed to wake up.

"Son?"

"Just pancakes, Dad. When are Grandma and Grandpa getting here?" he asked as he sipped his juice.

Jasper began ladling batter into a large skillet, adding a few blueberries. He turned to look at me with a smile I'd missed more than anything in the world. I cleared my throat and decided to offer a suggestion. "Um, they get in about three o'clock. If it's okay with your dad, we can go pick them up at the airport. We'll have to borrow his truck so we have room, but I think your dad has things to do," I suggested.

I saw that Jasper looked relieved, and I was happy I could take one thing off his shoulders. "You'd do that?" he asked.

I smiled behind my orange juice glass. "Anything you need, anytime you need it." Yes, it was inappropriately loaded with double entendre, but before Jake had his nightmare, I'd been dreaming about Jasper. Not the Jasper I knew and loved from college…the beautiful, loving Jasper I knew now. I'd always known he'd grow into a strong man, and I wondered what he thought of me. He gave nothing away, really, and I hoped he was happy with the man I'd become. Only time would tell.

##

The ride to the airport was quiet because Jake was busy playing a game on my phone. I needed a little time to think about things before I met Alice's parents, and _Candy Crush_ bought me the silence I needed to get my head together.

Jasper was pissed I'd called his sister to tell her Jake and I were heading to the airport, and when she'd shown up at the house just as we were leaving, Jasper gave me a look to let me know I'd pay for it later. The game plan was to not leave him alone, and he didn't appreciate it, but he'd have to live with it for a while whether he liked it or not.

As we climbed out of the truck at the airport, Jake took my hand as we began walking to the terminal. I cleared my throat. "You'll have to let me know when they arrive. I've only spoken with them on the phone. I've never seen pictures of them," I told him.

"How do you make money?" Jake asked as he looked up at me, his face filled with curiosity.

"I'm a writer. I write mystery books. Is there anything you're interested in doing when you grow up. You have a lot of time to decide," I told him as we crossed the street.

"I wanna be a fireman. They save people, and they get to put out fires. That's what I want to be," he stated proudly.

We made our way to the security area and sat down. "I think that's a great ambition, Jake. When I was your age, I wanted to be a policeman. I loved watching shows on television with cops," I told him.

He didn't say anything, just looking around as the people moved through the airport. His gaze settled on something, and he turned to me. "Can I get some flowers from that machine? I've got money in my bank at home, but I didn't bring any. I'll pay you back."

I saw a refrigerated case near the security exit, so we stood and approached it. I picked him up and motioned for him to take a look. He pushed the button to peruse the case, and when he found what he wanted, he pointed. They were Gerbera daisies, and I felt the pain in my heart. They were my mother's favorites, and when Jasper and I lived together, I had pots of them on our little balcony in the spring and summer to remind me of her.

"Why those?" I asked quietly. There were many other flowers in the case, but he pointed to them and seemed resolute. I had to know why.

"Dad has pots of them on the deck in the summer, and he planted them at Mom's house. They're his favorites, and they were Mom's, too. When we had special dinners, there was always a bowl full on the table. I think Grandma Mary would like them. She doesn't have special flowers at her house," Jake announced.

I closed my eyes for a moment. I never imagined Jasper would remember the flowers, but then again, I'd discounted Jasper as-a-whole because of one foolish mistake. I had a lot to learn about the man, undoubtedly.

"Those are my favorites, too." I swiped my card through the machine and punched in my pin. When the door buzzed, Jake opened it and pulled out the bouquet, holding it gently.

"I'll pay you back when we get home." Before I could answer, he looked toward the exit and ran away from me. I ran behind him, seeing a woman holding him in her arms. There wasn't anyone on the planet who wouldn't know it was Alice Brandon's mother. The man next to her was fighting the tears as she cradled Jake in her arms, having accepted the flowers.

I slowed to a brisk pace. "Jake, please don't put me through that again. I think your dad would kill me if I lost you," I chastised, seeing warm smiles on the faces of Alice's parents.

"You must be Edward. It's nice to meet ya, son. Thanks for all of this. We were surprised with the special treatment," Fred Brandon said as he extended his hand. I shook it because he was as kind as anyone I'd ever met.

"Mr. Brandon, it wasn't a problem. Let's get your luggage because Jasper's waiting at home. I hope the flights weren't too bad. I couldn't get you a nonstop," I told them as we made our way to baggage claim.

I felt a warm hand on my arm and turned to see Mary Brandon with tears streaming down her face. I couldn't help but hug her. "Mrs. Brandon, I'm so sorry," I told her, trying to hold in my emotions.

She pulled away. "Now, none of that. I've heard about you from Jasper for years. I'm glad you're here for him. He's gonna need ya."

We grabbed their bags and I drove us back to Jasper's house, Jake in the backseat with his grandmother who was trying to find anything to talk to him about other than the horrible reason that brought them to Seattle.

When we pulled into Jasper's driveway, my phone chimed. I turned to them and smiled. "Go inside. I'll get your luggage." Neither questioned me as they made their way up the sidewalk with Jake in tow. I saw it was a text from Aunt Es.

_We're about an hour away. Should we meet you at your place? Love, Your favorite person in the whole-wide world._

I laughed and gave them Jasper's address. I hopped out of Jasper's truck and grabbed the luggage, pulling it inside behind me. Jasper was speaking quietly with them and Jake wasn't anywhere to be seen. I deposited the suitcases in the hallway and walked into the living room where they'd settled.

I suddenly felt as if I didn't belong. They were holding each other and crying, so without a word, I gently deposited Jasper's keys on the counter, grabbing mine where they were setting. I could redirect Aunt Es and Uncle Carlisle to my place and give the family time. They needed the time to mourn.

I was at the door when I felt a hand tug at mine. I turned to see Jake standing there with a hurt look. "Where you goin'?"

"My aunt and uncle are on their way here, so I was going home to meet them. You and your dad need a little time with your family. I'll be back, I promise," I told him quietly.

He looked at me with deep brown, soulful eyes, brimming with tears. "_You're_ family. Don't go. Dad wants you here. Please don't leave us."

Jasper walked into the hallway with tears on his face. "He's not wrong. I want you here. When will Carlisle and Esme get here?"

"In about an hour. Ba…Jasper, I can have them meet me at the house to give you time with the Brandons," I offered.

"Jake, go show Grandpa Fred that new baseball glove. Maybe see if he and Grandma want to go outside and have a game of catch," Jasper told him.

Jacob nodded and began walking away. He stopped and turned around, looking at me with eyes far wiser than his eight years. He dried them with the backs of his hand and stood a little talker, "Don't leave, okay?"

All I could do was nod.

He seemed satisfied and went into the living room. I turned to Jasper and took his hand. "I won't leave if you two don't want me to, but you need to talk to them about things, babe. You need to make arrangements. If you want, I can stay here with Jake. You and the Brandons can go somewhere private to talk. Aunt Es and Uncle Carlisle will be here when you get back. Have you made any decisions, or will you leave it up to Mary and Fred?"

He sighed deeply. "If you'll stay here with Jake, I can take them to Alice's house and talk to them about what she wanted. It's going to be a shock regarding Alice's last wishes, but I have the Will to back me up. I talked with her lawyer while you were gone, and he told me its iron clad. I'm left to make the decisions. I have to be sure they understand it, because I don't want a fight on two fronts, Edward. My parents won't win, but Alice's could. I'll explain it later, but please, stay." I nodded and hugged him again. Fuck, I'd stay forever.

##

I opened the door to see Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle, their arms loaded with bags which didn't surprise me. "Follow me," I announced. Jake was in the living room watching a movie, and I'd heard the car pull into the driveway before they'd hit the porch. They were a welcome sight.

After bags were deposited, I hugged both of them. When I pulled away from Uncle Carlisle, I leaned in, "I've got a bag full of pill bottles from a few different doctors I found in her vanity cabinet. They're all different prescriptions, but I need to know if they interacted with each other and perhaps clouded her judgment or something.

"Jasper's going to have a fight on his hands to keep his son because he's gay and well, there are other things I'm not able to tell you yet. He could also use a referral for Jake because how…I don't know how you comfort a little boy whose mother took her life?" I whispered.

He hugged me and pulled away. "I've got a friend, but Edward, the only way to comfort someone who's suffered such a loss is to love them. There's no magic bullet here. Jacob needs to feel he's not alone, remember?" How could I forget?

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_**E/N: I'm going to post another chapter a bit later this evening to catch up from yesterday's fail. Please let me know what you think.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till later…xoxo**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Hello, again. I posted two chapters tonight, so if you just came to the last one, go back one. Again, thank you for your reviews. Very much appreciated.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

14. More Revelations

##

JASPER

I took Edward's advice and walked Mary and Freddy over to Alice's house. We settled into her office and I braced myself to deliver some news I was sure they wouldn't exactly be happy to hear.

"So, um, I went through Alice's papers to try to gather everything we'll need for making arrangements. When I was looking for Jake's birth certificate, I found this," I told Alice's parents as I handed them the file folder with her will and the note she'd scratched out inside.

While they looked through it, I continued. "I phoned the lawyer earlier today to alert him of Alice's passing, and he told me he'd begin the probate process. The house is mine, but it'll go to Jake when he's older. The contents are Alice's, but she's left everything to Jake. She uh…"

"_CREMATED!_" Mary shrieked. I was wondering when they'd get to that section.

She looked up at me with shock. I wasn't sure what the big deal was, but it was what Alice wanted. "Mary, it's right there in black and white. That's what she wanted, and I intend to see to it." I was trying to keep my voice soft, but I wasn't succeeding.

"But I want to take her home. I want to take her home and have a proper funeral and burial at our cemetery. Why on earth would she make this decision? She knew we wouldn't approve," Mary complained as she dried her tears.

"If you'll read further, she doesn't want a regular funeral. She doesn't want any formal service at all. She wants her ashes divided. Half for you to take home and sprinkle in your flower garden at the back of your house; half to be sprinkled by Jacob when he's older. I'm sorry, but I'm going to contact a funeral parlor and make the arrangements as stated in those papers. I just need to know if you want a formal urn or a simple one since you'll be sprinkling her ashes. I plan to get a formal one for Jake because I'm guessing he'll be older when he decides," I tried to explain.

Her features seemed to soften a bit, and I noticed Fred was yet to say anything. "Fred, is there something on your mind?" He looked at Mary, and she nodded.

"We have something we need to tell you. We've known it for years, but we didn't say anything because you were so good to Alice and Jake. We wanted her to stay in Mississippi with us and let us help her raise Jake, but she wasn't havin' any of it. She was doin' so well up here, so we decided not to fight her."

I was getting more nervous by the minute, but I nodded to see where he was going.

Mary cleared her throat. "Alice has always had problems. When she was young, we had a lot of trouble with her. She had good times, which were really good, and then she had bad times where she'd lock herself in her room and not come out for days. They diagnosed it as manic depression, but nowadays, they call it bi-polar disorder. I'm gonna guess she never told you."

I was sure the look on my face gave away my surprise because I was sure it was full of shock. Alice had never mentioned anything remotely related to emotional or mental health issues.

Over the years, I'd noticed she had mood swings…sometimes she was down in the dumps for weeks, seeming to have a hard time with everything. Those were the times when she'd have me keep Jake full-time for extended periods.

Then, she'd show up at the house one day with a bright smile and a giddy attitude. She'd take Jake home, having told me many plans she had for the two of them. I always wondered if the mood swings had something to do with relationship issues, but when I'd ask, she'd just giggle and tell me to mind my own business.

"I had no idea it was anything that serious." That would, however, explain the pill bottles Edward found in her medicine cabinet.

"I was sure she was doing fine until I spoke with her about two weeks ago. She was really happy and insisted she and Jake were coming to visit. She said she hoped to bring someone with her to meet us, but that was all she told me. I just assumed she was still taking her meds like she was supposed to. If, for some reason, she went off them she might hit such a point where she'd take her own life after she crashed from her manic episode. Did you notice a drastic change in her behavior recently?" Mary asked.

When I was drinking, I didn't notice shit about anyone and that was a fact. Since I'd gotten sober, I'd noticed a few things regarding her moods that puzzled me, but it was infrequent. Of late, though, it had been happening more than I wanted to admit. I decided to tell them something I never imagined I would because I didn't really want them getting any ideas. "I just found out Alice had been keeping a secret from me, and I'm wondering if she kept it from you as well. Before I tell you this, I want to warn you I will fight anyone, and I mean _anyone_, who tries to take my son from me."

I saw the alarm on both of their faces, and I thought, "_Help me out here, Ali."_

"My parents had decided they were, or rather are, going to try to take Jake away from us. They've filed a Petition for Custody here in Washington. With Alice alive, I doubted they had a leg to stand on, but with her gone now, I'm not sure how the legal system will treat a gay, alcoholic man raising his son alone."

When Mary and Fred found out about my battle with the bottle, they were both so damn supportive…more than Mom and JR. My dad called me a pussy who couldn't hold his liquor, and all my mother said was it would be an embarrassment to the family if I didn't straighten up my act. So much for the compassion of family!

Mary and Fred looked at each with shock. "Did this just happen?" Fred asked.

"Apparently, they threatened Alice with it when she and Jake were in New York. She didn't tell me about it, but Jake told me what he overheard. I just need to know if I'm going to be fighting the two of you for custody as well," I explained, hoping I'd get a clue regarding whether they knew the truth about Jake.

Mary reached out and touched my hand. "Jasper, we could never take that boy from you. We just hope you'll still make sure we get to see him. You're still a member of our family, so you're expected for regular visits, ya hear?" she stated with a tender smile.

I stood from my seat and walked around Alice's desk, hugging Mary for her words. It was a relief they weren't going to petition for custody as well, and I was grateful. _As long as no one ever finds out Jake isn't my son, I'll be fine._

##

When we got back to my house a couple of hours later, we'd settled everything that needed to be settled. Mary and Fred were going to stay at Alice's house while they were in town. She offered to go through Alice's things and get them ready to be donated to a shelter, which reminded me how happy I was Edward had suggested we make a pass through the house first. On the way out, I grabbed Alice's cell phone I'd forgotten the night before, hoping for any kind of clue regarding what she'd done during her last hours.

I saw a black Mercedes in the driveway, along with my truck and Edward's fancy car. I was guessing that meant his aunt and uncle were there. I picked up my pace a bit because we'd walked over to Alice's, and I was anxious to see Esme and Carlisle, hoping there was no bad-blood or tension between us based on the last time I'd seen them.

_I'd been calling and calling, and the Cullens weren't calling me back, so the Saturday before I was leaving to go to Texas for the summer break, I decided to take the four hour ride to see them. If I was standing on their porch, they couldn't deny me some answers, could they?_

_I rang the bell, and when Esme opened it, I could see she was shocked. "Jasper, Edward's not here." She had the coldest tone in her voice which wasn't common from the times I'd visited, so I knew he had to have told her exactly what had happened._

"_Mrs. Cullen, I'm begging you to tell me where he is. I need to explain to him what happened. It's not what he thinks, and it's not what he probably told you," I pleaded._

_Just then, Carlisle walked up. "Oh, Jasper? What brings you out here? Edward's not here." He wasn't any friendlier than Esme._

"_I know, sir. I just need to know where he is. I need to talk to him. I've been calling you and him for weeks, but nobody ever calls me back."_

"_Edward changed his number, Jasper. He doesn't want to speak with you. I'm sorry, but after what happened, I think the best thing is for you to leave him alone so he can get over you. He's been through enough in his life. He doesn't need any more heartbreak," Carlisle responded._

"_But, Dr. Cullen, it's not what…"_

"_Excuse me, but are you going to stand there and tell us Edward didn't walk into the home you shared together and find you with a woman? Was he suffering a hallucination? Does he need to get his eyes checked? Based on the fact you're not protesting, I'd say he told the truth. Please, Jasper, leave him alone and stop trying to contact him. I don't want to be rude because I like you very much, but Edward's our son and his well-being will always be our priority," Esme announced and then closed the door in my face. _

_I sat on their driveway for over an hour, trying to calm down enough to make the drive back to Seattle. All my hope was gone, and I knew I'd never open my heart to anyone else. I couldn't. It was wherever Edward had fled to._

I stopped the Brandons on the porch. "Um, before we go in, I need to tell you the Cullens are very nice people, but the last time I saw them, things were a little rough. It was right after Alice and me…and Edward had left town. I went to their house to try to find him, and they were none too pleased to see me," I explained.

I saw Mary stand a little taller, which was funny because she was nearly as tiny as Alice. "Well, if they're rude, we'll just ask them to leave. I realize Edward's your friend, but this isn't about you and him, really. This is about you and Jake and the loss of our daughter. I realize Alice had a part in this, but if they have any negative feelings on the matter, they should leave. I got not problem tellin' em, either." She nodded resolutely and then walked inside.

I looked at Fred, seeing his supportive smile. "Son, if they had a hand in making the guy who picked us up at the airport, I doubt you'll have any problems with 'em."

He walked inside and I followed him a minute later. When I walked into my living room, I saw Esme with her arms around Mary's shoulders as the two of them spoke quietly. Fred was holding Jake in his arms, and Carlisle and Edward were standing off to the side. When Carlisle saw me, he quietly made his way over and placed his hands on my biceps. "Jasper, son, how are you? Es and I are so very sorry this is the circumstance under which we all reunited. Please understand we're here for anything you need." I leaned forward and gave him a grateful hug for his kind words.

I saw Edward trying to get my attention, so I walked over to where he was standing. "How'd it go?" he whispered.

"Better than I expected. I'll tell you later, okay?" I turned to look at him and he nodded.

"Aunt Es, I think you're about to cause poor Mrs. Brandon to have a stroke you're squeezing her so hard," he announced to his aunt.

Esme pulled away. "Anything at all, Mrs. Brandon, you just let me know. Mr. Brandon, we're so very sorry for your loss," she addressed Fred, who seemed overwhelmed. She didn't grab him in a hug, which I could see he appreciated. She simply touched his arm in comfort.

Jake wiggled down and walked over to where I was standing, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my upper abdomen. I rubbed his back. "You okay, Bud?"

He leaned back and looked up at me with those big crocodile tears. "I miss Mommy." I moved to sit in the recliner and pulled him onto my lap, holding him and letting him cry. I was certain we'd have many such moments for years to come, and I truly didn't know how to handle them. I needed to call someone because I was truly operating in the dark.

Esme walked over and knelt down next to my chair, touching Jake's cheek. "You're such a handsome young man. Your mother must be a beautiful woman. Do you have any pictures of her you'd like to show me?"

He looked at me with a small smile. "Can I? I mean, I didn't know if we should talk about Mom."

I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "You can talk about your mom as much as you want, Jake. Just because she's not here to take care of you every day, it doesn't mean she's gone. She lives right here," I said as I touched his chest above his heart. Esme nodded with a tender smile and stood with her hand extended.

Edward walked over to where we were sitting, handing Jake a tissue. "Come on, Jake, your dad packed up a bunch of pictures for you. Why don't we go through them and you can tell me and Aunt Esme what you were doing and anything else you want to tell us about your mom. We didn't know her, but we'd like to."

I looked up at him and smiled. He would be my best resource regarding how to be supportive of Jacob. I just needed to remember to ask him.

Jake looked at me and I nodded. "That's a great idea, Bud. You can put out as many pictures as you'd like."

Jake climbed down and took Esme's offered hand, leading her down the hallway to his room where I assumed his boxes had been placed. I rose from the chair and walked into the kitchen to sort through the mail someone had kindly brought inside. There, amidst all the junk, was an official looking letter from the attorney's office in New York.

I ripped it open and found it was identical to the one I found at Alice's house. The petition had been filed in Seattle, and I read in the first paragraph I had thirty days to respond. That was going to be some response.

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_**E/N: Okay, a little more info. Alice's parents knew about her disorder but never discussed it with Jasper. These people just keep all kinds of secrets, don't they? Can't wait to hear from you. I did love Mary Brandon, bucking up to throw out the Cullens if they were rude. Too cute!**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Good evening. Thank you for your reviews last night of both chapters. Glad to see you're enjoying the story. Let's get to it.**_

_**SMeyer owns…I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

15. The Strength of Others

##

EDWARD

I sat with Jake and Aunt Es for a while as we went through the box of photos, Jake telling us about some of the recent shots. Of course, we could deduce what some of the older ones were based on decorations, birthday cakes, and a photo of him holding a fishing pole with a small fish attached.

Jake's stomach growled, and I saw Aunt Es look at her watch. "Oh, goodness. I better go put together some dinner. It's later than I thought. I'll call you when it's ready." We both nodded and continued pulling out the framed photographs. Jake was placing them on every flat surface in his room, and I withheld a little laugh because he was such a cute kid.

"It's great you want to put them all in here, but I think your dad was hoping you'd put some all over the house. I don't think you have to keep all of them in here. He's got pictures up in the living room of the three of you, so I think he'd be happy if you had pictures of you and your mom in there, too," I offered.

"Maybe later. Hey, can _she_ cook?" he whispered as he pointed his thumb toward the kitchen.

I laughed. "Very well, as a matter of fact. She taught me how to cook before I went off to college. I used to cook for your dad and me all the time." He looked at me with curious eyes, and I wondered if I'd said too much.

"Edward and I lived together when we were in college. He's a great cook. He taught me how to cook," I heard from behind me. Jasper walked in and looked around at all the framed photos, smiling at his son.

"How long have you been friends?" Jake asked.

Jasper looked at me, and I winked at him. Jake was going to have a lot of questions, and it was best if we gave him the appropriate amount of truth, based on his age and depth of understanding. "Ten years. I met Edward the day we were moving into our dorm building," he responded.

"When did you meet Mom?" Jake asked. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't looking forward to it.

"It was my second year of college. Your mom and I had a class together and became friends."

"When were you boyfriend and girlfriend?" It was an innocent question, but that didn't make it any less painful for me.

I rose from the bed and looked at Jasper. "I think this is a discussion you need to have without me. I'll go help Aunt Es with dinner." I didn't wait for an answer; I walked out and pulled the door behind me.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing Aunt Es and Mary Brandon pulling together some sandwiches. I guessed, based on the fact it was nearly six o'clock, they were taking a shortcut to get something on the table for Jake to eat.

Aunt Es turned to me, likely seeing the emotions on my face. "Where are Jasper and Jacob?"

"Uh, they're in Jake's room. Jake asked him about how…he asked about when Jasper and Alice were, uh, a couple." I was trying to be sensitive, but the three of us knew that wasn't exactly the way things had happened.

Mary and Esme stopped what they were doing and looked at me. "I don't envy him trying to explain it. How are things between the two of you now? I know Jasper's pleased to have you back in his life," Mary offered as she touched my arm.

"I'm happy as well, Mary. So, um, what kind of arrangements are you going to make for Alice's service? Does Jake need a suit?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

She sighed heavily. "In Alice's Will, she stated she wanted no formal funeral at all. She wants to be cremated, and her ashes divided. Half will go back to Mississippi with Fred and me to be spread at our home. The other half is to be held for Jake until he's ready to scatter them."

I looked at Aunt Esme and saw the worry on her face. "What?" I asked.

I saw my aunt's tender smile and knew what was coming. "Well, I'm certainly not one to pry," _yeah, right, _"but if she doesn't want a funeral, then maybe a private celebration of her life. I'm sure she believed she was saving all of you from a difficult good-bye, and that's quite admirable, but I believe people need some sort of acknowledgment of the loss. If for no one other than Jake, there should be something tangible to mark her passing and the impact she made while she was here. Oh, listen to me. I'm sorry. Obviously, it's what you and Jasper want to do, Mary." Aunt Es was a slick one.

"No, no, you're right. We need to honor her memory in some way, even if it is just a donation to a charity or something as simple as planting a tree with a moment of prayer. I think Jacob needs it more than anyone. Edward, will you talk to Jasper? He listens to you," Mary implored.

I was quickly figuring out I was going to become the go-between with Jasper and the other people in his life. I wasn't sure if I was honored they believed he'd listen to me, or being labeled a manipulative bastard who had some sort of power over Jasper. "I'll mention it, but I won't push him, Mrs. Brandon. I believe you have as much say in this as Jasper, so maybe you should talk with him," I suggested.

She smiled and touched my arm. "You're a very kind man. In any other situation, I'd say you're right, but I believe in this particular instance, if you'd tell him you agree with having something in Alice's honor, it would put his mind at ease. Trust me, when we get back to Mississippi, I'll be having a memorial service for Alice's extended family, but right now, I think it would mean a lot to him if you'd suggest it."

I decided she was right, and if I was being honest, I don't know how long I'd have waited to contact Jasper if it wasn't for Alice, so I decided I'd champion her cause without being too pushy. "I'll talk to him. Now, it seems you've got the food under control, and I'd guess Jake's starved so I'll be back."

I walked down the hallway to Jacob's room, knocking on the partially closed door. "Come on in," Jasper called.

I pushed the door open and saw the two of them playing a video game. It was some sort of football game, and I watched them for a minute. Jake paused it and looked up at me, expectantly. "Food's ready?" I nodded before he tossed his controller at Jasper and was out of the room like a shot.

"What did you tell him?" I asked Jasper as I crossed my arms over my chest nervously.

"I explained to him his mom and I were just good friends. The only boyfriend I ever had was you, and I did something bad causing us to break-up. I didn't tell him exactly what it was because I don't think it would be good for him to know what happened between Alice and me was the thing that broke us apart. It's not something I think he can understand at this age. He told me you already told him you were my boyfriend again. How'd that happen?"

I took a deep breath. "Jake asked me if we were like Sam's two dads. I said not exactly, but in my heart you were still my boyfriend. He asked if you thought the same thing, and I said I didn't know, but I hoped so. You simply walked into it when you accused us of conspiring against you. Now, come eat. After everyone leaves, I need to talk to you about a couple of things before I go home."

His face fell a little, but he didn't say anything. I was quite certain he wouldn't consider drinking with Alice's parents in town and Jake so fragile, so it was time for me to go home, especially since Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle were in town for a visit.

After we ate, Jake played a game of "_Sorry_" with Uncle Carlisle and Fred. We could all see he was fading, based on the number of yawns he was trying to hide. Jasper was busy going over some documents with Mary and I was sitting with Aunt Esme, both of us observing the activities taking place.

"Aw, he's so sweet, Edward. He seems to like you," she offered as we watched Jake yawn again.

"I care about that little boy so much, Aunt Es. He's got a lot to process right now with his mother's death, me showing up, and Jasper telling him he's gay. Thankfully, he has a friend at school with two dads, so it's not too foreign a concept for him, but only recently has the topic come up in his house," I explained quietly.

"Oh, Jasper hasn't had a relationship since he's had Jake?" I looked at her to see the wheels turning.

"Stop. He and Alice didn't bring dates around Jake, but we haven't really had too much time to talk about relationships," I told her.

"So, he doesn't know about Aro?"

"In a roundabout way he does, but we haven't talked about it. Right now isn't the time, and if we decide to proceed with anything more than just being friends again…"

"_IF!?"_ Her outburst got everyone's attention.

"Jake, buddy, you okay?" I asked to divert attention.

He looked up. "I'm tired. I'm gonna shower and go to bed." He looked at Fred and Carlisle. "I'll give ya a chance to make your money back another time." He held out his hand and each man coughed up a five, slapping it into his waiting grasp.

"Jacob!" Jasper gasped. I'd seen the three of them with their heads together, but I didn't know they were gambling. I actually laughed until I saw Jasper with his eyebrow cocked in my direction.

"We should get going as well," Aunt Esme decided. Everyone began moving around to say good-nights.

Uncle Carlisle hugged me and held me close for a minute. "Are you, uh, coming home?"

I pulled away. "I am, but I need to talk to Jasper first. I'm not sure how long it will take, so go ahead and go to bed if you want. I'm not sure what the plan is for tomorrow, but I'll let you know. In my bedroom on my dresser is that bag with all the pill bottles. Can you take a look at them and give me some idea what they were for? Thank you so much for coming. I truly appreciate it, and I'm certain Jasper does as well," I whispered. He nodded.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Mary standing there with her arms open. I bent low and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, Edward, for taking care of my boys. I'm not sure what we'd be dealing with if you weren't here." I nodded as she kissed my cheek.

I hated to think maybe she wouldn't be in the position to have to grieve her daughter's passing if it wasn't for my reemergence into Jasper's life, but it was probably the truth. I knew I needed to tell Jasper because the guilt was consuming me.

Everyone left, and Jake went to shower and climb in his own bed, which surprised me. Jasper and I sat down on the couch with green tea, and I knew I needed to talk to him. "I've got a couple of things I need to tell you," I started.

"Well, I've got a couple of things I need to tell you as well, so you start."

I nodded, took a sip of my tea, and turned on the couch to face him. "I understand Alice's Will stated she wanted no formal acknowledgment of her passing, but I think, for Jake's sake, you should do something. It doesn't have to be anything formal or over the top, and instead of mourning the loss, maybe celebrate her life. She had a beautiful son, a successful career, and I'd bet she's got friends. You haven't phoned anyone, have you?"

He looked down and played with teabag string. "I have her phone so I have her contacts, but I haven't called anyone. I need to call her work, but I haven't. I'm sure they've called her home phone. I just thought I needed to talk with Mary and Fred before I called people. What kind of event should we have?" he asked, seeming to warm up to the idea.

"Well, what did Alice like to do? Was there a favorite place, or a favorite activity? Maybe she had a favorite charity?" I offered.

He thought for a minute and smiled as he took my hand. "You'd be okay with us doing something like that?"

I placed my hand on his cheek. "Jasper, love, I'm the last person any of this is about. It's you honoring Jake's mother's memory. Look, I told you Alice came to see me, and I'm not saying I'd have never come around, but she definitely shortened the time it would have taken me to get my head out of my ass and contact you. Something good should come from the loss, Jasper. It would be good for Jake to see some remembrance of his mother. It would be good for him to see all the people who will miss her so he doesn't feel alone."

"Mary's planning to have something in Mississippi for the family if you'll let Jake go down over the summer, but I think it would be good for him to see how many people appreciated his mother here in Seattle. I'll help you plan anything you'd like to do." He leaned forward and brushed his lips over mine in gratitude, I suspected. _Mary Brandon was a smart woman._

I then moved onto another topic. "This isn't easy for me to tell you, but the day Alice…did what she did, she called me. She told me your parents had filed for custody, and she threatened to take Jake away and disappear. I told her if she did that to you, she might as well hand you a bottle. She said I was right and she'd handle it. Then…" I trailed off.

I studied him to see if he had any reaction, but he didn't. "She told me nothing about any of it, but as I've found out over the last few days, even though I knew Alice for nine years, there was very little about her I really knew. At this point, nothing surprises me." Knowing what I did about Jake, I was sure he was right.

\\\

_**E/N: I know…baby steps. We're getting there, I promise.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Hello friends. Thank you for your reviews. I enjoy your feedback.**_

_**Let's go. Song for this chapter: "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye. I don't own that either.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

16. Relearning the Old Familiar

##

JASPER

I wasn't angry Edward hadn't told me about his contact with Alice right away. I understood he wasn't sure how to proceed in light of recent events, and I was still pissed at her for what she'd done. Every secret…every deception…everything she never said. It was all slowly driving me insane.

"Mary and Fred told me Alice suffered from bipolar disorder. She has since she was a young girl. I don't know what to make of it. Sometimes she'd seem really sad and Jake would stay with me full-time, but within a few weeks, she'd come back around and things were great. I'm guessing that's why she was taking all of that medicine. Maybe she was over-medicating to keep the lows from getting too low and that's why she had three different doctors, or maybe she kept trying to find the right doctor and didn't toss out the meds the last doctor gave her? I'll need to contact them at some point, but it's just too fucking much right now."

I looked into his eyes, seeing concern. "What?"

"You need to talk with Uncle Carlisle about the possibility Jake might have…I mean, it's not impossible he could have some obstacles to face. A referral for someone you can speak with about it, and maybe someone for Jake to speak with about all of this, is a good idea. If you'll allow me, I can talk with Carlisle and give him a head's up so he can do some checking," he offered.

It was yet another thing I hadn't even considered. I knew nothing…abso-fucking-lutely nothing about any type of disorder, and how to process it was overwhelming at the moment. "I'll add it to the list," I stated flatly.

He rose from the couch, went to the kitchen, and came back a minute later with a piece of paper and a pen. "We need a list of things to do. Now, I'm happy to make calls on your behalf, you just need to tell me who. I can speak with Alice's boss and alert them to her passing. I can tell them we'll be in touch regarding a memorial or gathering in her memory.

"I can call the people in her phone, ascertain the relationships, and explain her passing. I won't give away she took her own life. I'll just say it was an accident, or she'd been ill for a while, whatever you want. Most of them are probably casual acquaintances, because my guess is anyone she was close with would have been calling if they haven't heard from her. You need to tell me what you'd like to tell her close friends, unless you want to speak with them directly."

He was scribbling away as he spoke, and I was truly in awe. I shouldn't have been surprised because it was so truly Edward, I nearly laughed.

"So, with regard to the house and her things?" he asked.

"Mary offered to go through her clothes and things to donate them. The furniture and stuff, I'm going to let set for a while so I can think about it with a clear head. I guess I'll just sell her car rather than let it dry rot. I need to hack into her laptop and figure out her financial obligations so I can pay off any debts. I think her bank accounts, just like mine, are pay-on-death to Jake."

"I need to arrange for the cremation tomorrow. I need to go pick out an urn for…well, two I guess. I need to check in with Rosalie regarding work, and I should call my secretary, Lauren. Alice was supposed to arrange summer camps for Jake. Shit. If she didn't, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Should I take a leave of absence?" My mind and my mouth were going a million miles an hour, but he appeared to be getting everything down.

He rose quickly and came back from the kitchen with a pad, going over his list and flipping between two sheets of paper. After a few minutes, he looked triumphant. He tore off the top sheet, handing it to me. I perused it and saw that anything relating to my authority as the executor was on my list.

"What's on the other one?" I asked.

He ripped it off and handed it to me. It was entitled, "Edward's List," and I noticed everything on the periphery was listed, including helping Jake organize his room since all of his things had been moved from Alice's house. He also had activities to keep Jake busy while I was tending to the other things on my list. I was elated. I was stunned by his ability to organize. I was touched by his willingness to help me…I was in awe of the fact he put all the bad shit aside and step in to help me deal with the madness. It touched deep into my soul.

"Um, wow. You don't have to…" He clamped my lips shut before I could finish.

"I should have come back to you, Jasper. I should have given you the opportunity to explain it to me. I still hate what happened, but I'm an adult, and it's time to get over it. Plus, if it hadn't happened, you wouldn't have Jake, and I can't imagine you without him. I told you I'm here to do anything you need, and I mean it. Now, it's late. You need to get some sleep, and I need to go home because I'm out of underwear. I'll be here in the morning after I run a couple of errands. If you think of anything else, send me a text or call me. I don't care what time, okay?"

He rose from the couch and left the room, coming back a few minutes later with the bag he'd brought over the night before. I wanted to beg him to stay. I wanted to tell him he could have some of my underwear if he'd just stay and hold me, but it was far too soon, and I wanted him to do it because he wanted to be with me, not because he pitied me.

"Walk me out so you can lock the door." He waited for me to get up from the couch, and when I stopped next to him, he took my hand, leading me down the hallway to my front door.

He turned to look at me and smiled. "If, at any time you need anything, call me." He leaned forward and kissed me gently. When he tried to pull away, I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck to hold him to me, deepening the kiss.

It was like drifting back in time when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body flush with his. Our tongues danced, tasting each other. Our heads tilted to accommodate each other, and our hands roamed each other's bodies in a familiar way. I walked him backward until he was flush with the wall, and I pressed myself against him from head to toe…hard cock to hard cock.

I continued to kiss him as senseless as he had me most of the time. Suddenly, he flipped me around forcefully and pushed me against the wall, moving my hands above my head and pinning them there while grinding against me, nearly driving me to lunacy. He pulled away after several minutes just as I was about to make a mess in my pants.

He released my hands and took a step back. "Sorry about that. I should have warned you. I haven't bottomed for anyone but you, and I'm a bit more aggressive than I used to be. I suppose it's something we'll need to address at some point. I'll put it on the list. Goodnight, Jasper."

He winked at me with a sexy smile and let himself out. I couldn't move from my spot. I was struck by his forceful behavior, and as I finally came back to my senses, I decided I didn't hate it at all.

##

The next days were a whirlwind. I'd wrapped up all of Alice's financial affairs after hacking into her laptop, thankfully not finding any more surprises. I didn't know if I could handle more surprises at that point.

Edward, however, had organized Jake and me to the point we both had calendars on the fridge. He'd contacted everyone in Alice's phone and even the address book she had in the kitchen of her home. He'd been able to ferret out real friends from acquaintances. I remembered the brief discussion we had on Thursday morning about it.

"_You don't know Jessica Stanley? She's a good friend of Alice's according to the sobbing cries I had to endure. Didn't you two hang out?" he asked._

"_No, babe, we didn't. We did stuff together with Jake, but I didn't go out with her, and she definitely didn't go out with me." I didn't elaborate, but I didn't have to, based on the look on his face._

"_I'll put that on a list of things to discuss when life calms down," he stated dryly._

I wasn't sorry life hadn't calmed down yet, because I wasn't looking forward to the explanation of my exploits over the years we'd been apart.

He'd been able to get Jake into a soccer camp and some others, and he'd planned activities with a few of Jake's friends from school to keep him busy over the summer.

Esme and Carlisle had been invaluable. Esme helped Mary at Alice's house, and Carlisle had found a child psychologist for me to speak with. Jake and I had an appointment on Friday afternoon.

As I stood in the kitchen on Friday morning, I was staring off into space as the doorbell chimed. I went to answer it, thankful I'd put on a t-shirt until I opened the door. Edward was standing there in low-slung jeans and a tight t-shirt with his hair slicked back which led me to believe he'd just had a shower.

"Hey, I slept in a little. Come on in. I just made coffee. Funny enough, I find it's not my regular coffee. Any idea what happened to my Folgers?" I teased, knowing damn well what happened. He'd replaced it with some fancy dark roast I didn't hate, but I couldn't let him get away with it without giving him shit about it.

"Where's Jake? Any more nightmares?" He was quite good at changing the subject.

He'd had one the night before which was why I'd slept in and why I was anxious to talk to the psychologist that afternoon. My poor son was suffering, and I didn't know what to do. All I did was hold him while he cried, but I knew I needed to do more. "Yeah, last night. He's still sleeping. You want breakfast?" I headed to the kitchen and began pulling out things to make eggs and bacon.

As I placed the skillet on the stove and reached to turn on the burner, Edward pushed up behind me and stilled my hand. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck, sweeping his tongue along it and sending a shiver down my spine.

"Please, love, let me take you to bed. I've been craving the feel of your body next to mine." He moved his left hand down my stomach and slipped it into my pajama pants, taking my hardening cock into his hand and gently squeezing. My eyes closed involuntarily as I sunk into his body.

"I've been dreaming about being with you since I saw you standing in Rosalie's office that day. I know the circumstances aren't perfect and we need to talk, but I need to feel you and I believe you need me as well," he whispered as he continued to kiss me and stroke me.

I was losing my mind, and his words were only making it more difficult to resist him, so I didn't. I needed to feel something more than grief. I needed to feel a warm body against me, and I loved his.

I took his hand and led him back to my bedroom, grateful Jake had stayed in his bed the night before after the nightmare. I paused momentarily as we walked down the hall, hearing nothing from Jake's room.

I led Edward into my room, closing and locking the door behind us. He spun me around and kissed me hard on the mouth, more forcefully than he ever had in my life. I was surprised, but I welcomed his aggressive behavior. I needed it. I needed someone to be in control for a while. God knows, I hadn't had any control over anything recently.

I pulled at his shirt and he allowed me to take it off, pulling at mine in the process. Once it was on the floor with his, he backed me up to the bed and pushed me down, climbing up next to me after he flipped open the buttons of his jeans, showing me he wasn't wearing any boxers. I licked my lips without a second thought, seeing the glorious cock I hadn't seen in years.

As I began moving up the bed, he grabbed the bottom of my pajama pants and held on to them as I wiggled out, leaving me naked and hard on my unmade bed. He slowly crawled up to where I lay, looking every bit the predator I hoped him to be.

He licked up the inside of my left thigh, taking me into his mouth which felt so fucking good, I gasped at the sensation. It had been many months since I'd felt anything of the sort, and I didn't remember the last guy's name because it was in a backroom of a club. You didn't trade names there; you just went with it to get your release and got the hell out.

"Fuck!" I couldn't help myself as his tongue licked up my shaft and his lips sucked my head into his mouth, sinking all the way down to the base and swallowing around me like he'd never done before. My head shot off the pillow, and when I looked down, I saw him smiling around my cock. He was always great at giving head, but he'd never done it like _that._

He released me and looked up. "Don't ask. You know you don't want to know."

I didn't respond, and he went back to work on me, causing my eyes to roll back in my head. Just as I was about to shoot down his very appealing throat, he pulled away, moving lower and planting his tongue somewhere I'd never felt a tongue before in my life.

When it entered me after circling the sensitive entrance, I covered my mouth to keep from crying out at the pleasure. After his tongue had its way with me, a finger slipped inside as he moved up my body, kissing and nipping the whole way. When he finally landed a slippery lick on my nipple, I pulled him up to my mouth, hungry for his kiss.

After several minutes of passionate kisses and another finger slipping inside me, I remembered one crucial problem. I pulled away. "Baby, I don't have any condoms."

He chuckled and cast a glowing smile my way. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I stopped at the store on my way," he whispered as he kissed me again.

He slipped off the bed and grabbed his jeans, pulling out a strip of condoms and placing them on the nightstand. He reached inside, knowing there'd be lube.

As he stood next to the bed, his gorgeous hooded cock just above me, I couldn't help myself. I sat up and took it into my mouth, sweeping my tongue through the foreskin to circle the head, happy to feel him twitch.

He pulled away and smiled as he settled himself between my legs and went back to preparing me. When I was writhing with need, he slipped on the condom and moved his tip to my entrance. "Are you ready, love?" he whispered.

"More than ready," I told him as he moved inside me slowly. The feeling, while pretty fucking uncomfortable at first, slowly blended into the most incredible dose of pleasure and pain in the world. The look on his face told me he was enjoying it immensely. I smiled at the thought that he was the only man to ever top me in my life.

He changed the angle, and he hit my prostate. He'd been great at hitting it when he was giving me head and had his long, talented fingers up my ass massaging it, but that was the last time I'd allowed any guy to invade my body in any way. Other than with Edward, I'd only felt it when I'd fingered myself as I masturbated. "Fuck," I moaned quietly.

"Ah, I found it?" He moved back, plunging forward, hitting it again. If he kept it up, I wasn't going to last.

"Yessss! I'm not going to…" I protested as he leaned back on his haunches and reached for my hard cock.

"God, I've missed this cock. It's like steel encased in silk. Come for me, Jasper," he ordered as he began pounding into me from his precarious position. His left hand was on my knee, spreading my legs wider so he could go deeper while his other hand stroked me and brought me to the end of my control.

I felt the euphoria of release, and I covered my mouth to keep from shouting. "That's it, baby. That's incredible," he praised as he continued to fuck me harder. I had no idea where the control had come from. Hell, I didn't want to know. I just wanted to enjoy it, and when he pulsed inside me, several minutes later, I was completely blissed out.

He pulled away, holding onto his still semi hard cock while grasping the condom. He slipped it off and went to the bathroom to dispose of it. He came back with a washcloth and a towel, cleaning me up which was not surprising for him.

He crawled up next to me as I tried to calm my breathing. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my neck. "I think we need to do a little catching up. No details. Just…have you always used condoms? Have you had any significant lovers? Are you seeing anyone seriously?"

I chuckled. It wasn't the Edward I used to know. He'd have analyzed _everything_ to death. "Okay. Yes, I've always used condoms, and when I think back to the beginning of our relationship, we were stupid not to take advantage of both of us being virgins and skip the condoms. There haven't been any significant lovers…hell, there haven't been any _lovers_. Nameless, faceless fucks in a backroom or a bathroom, yes. As far as seeing anyone seriously, I don't think you need an answer, do you? I wouldn't have allowed you to fuck me if I was with someone serious."

He stroked the back of his hand over my cheek as he pulled back, looking into my eyes. "I've had a few nameless, faceless fucks in a backroom or a bathroom as well. I've had only one long-term lover over the years. To me, it wasn't serious, but to him it was."

I sighed, not looking forward to the details. "In the book, you called him Alec. What was his name?"

He moved to hover over me. "His name was Aro, and he was an Italian interpreter I met while I was working on one of my books. I don't need to fill in the blanks because you read the manuscript. It wasn't as important as I made it out in the book. I tried to play it up a bit for the sake of the story, but it was never more than fucking, Jasper. There was just need, not passion. I'm sorry you had to read about it, but he got tired of me using him, and I can't blame him.

"He's a friend of Felix's, Bella's husband. He recommended Aro to me to help with some of the dialogue in the book, and Aro was pleasant. That's the best thing I can say about him. I liked him, but I never cared about him. It ended badly, as you can imagine, and he moved to New York."

He looked deeply into my eyes. "I'm a horrible person for saying this, but there wasn't one time when I was with him I didn't close my eyes and see your face. He knew it, but he ignored it for a long time. I even called your name a couple of times in the midst of things, which was cruel of me, but I never fucking got over you. I'd apologize to him the few times I did it, but they weren't heartfelt and he knew it. He called me an unfeeling prick, and I couldn't disagree. I _was_. I was exactly that. I'm not that man anymore. I can't be that man with you."

I was stunned silent.

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_**E/N: Yeah, I didn't mention the boys got a little down and dirty. I wanted to surprise you : )**_

_**Can't wait to hear from you.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: I'm late! Sorry. Meet me at the bottom.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

17. Lean on Me

##

_**Last time…Jasper**_

_He looked deeply into my eyes. "I'm a horrible person for saying this, but there wasn't one time when I was with him I didn't close my eyes and see your face. He knew it, but he ignored it for a long time. I even called your name a couple of times in the midst of things, which was cruel of me, but I never fucking got over you. I'd apologize to him the few times I did it, but they weren't heartfelt and he knew it. He called me an unfeeling prick, and I couldn't disagree. I was. I was exactly that. I'm not that man anymore. I can't be that man with you."_

_I was stunned silent._

_##_

EDWARD

"I'm a horrible person for saying this, but there wasn't one time when I was with him I didn't close my eyes and see your face. He knew it, but he ignored it for a long time. I even called your name a couple of times in the midst of things, which was cruel of me, but I never fucking got over you. I'd apologize to him the few times I did it, but they weren't heartfelt and he knew it. He called me an unfeeling prick, and I couldn't disagree. I _was_. I was exactly that. I'm not that man anymore. I can't be that man with you."

Jasper wasn't saying anything, so in usual fashion, I continued to ramble. "I know, I know how horrible I sound, but I've changed, and I need you to know that. There are a lot of things I still do, but…and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty…when it all went down, something changed inside me.

"I'm not the same guy, and I don't know if you can care for the man I am now. We shouldn't have rushed into this, but I couldn't wait to have you. I'll keep my feelings in check in the future," I offered him with all the sincerity inside me.

He swallowed and looked at the ceiling for a moment, leaving me with a wrenching pain in my chest. When he looked at me again, I saw something in his eyes I'd never seen before. He was vulnerable, and that wasn't Jasper…the Jasper I knew all those years ago.

"I…I've tried to deal with so much on my own. I mean, I don't even let Rose in as much as I used to. I've changed as well, Edward, and I'm not sure if you'll care for the man _I've_ become. I crave someone to come in and help me. I'm at a loss of how to deal with all of this on my own. I need help," he whispered as tears slid down his temples.

I leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Maybe we came back to each other when it was right…when we needed each other the most?"

He was stunned, and I was worried about what I'd said, quickly babbling. "I should get up and dress. It won't bode well if Jake wakes to find me here. I'll go start breakfast, Jasper." I started to get out of bed before I made an ass of myself. I turned to him, seeing concern on his gorgeous face. "You can lean on me, love. I'm not going anywhere." I hoped I was reassuring. I meant every word.

I saw another tear slide down his temple, and I kissed it away. I'd kiss away all of his tears. He was what I needed, and it sounded like I was what he needed, so maybe it was right? Only time would tell.

After a quick shower, I dressed and hurried to the kitchen to fix breakfast before Jake woke up. I was just dropping bread into the toaster when Jake slowly walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "Dad? What do we have to do today?" he asked. He sounded so exhausted, and I felt for him.

"Your dad's still sleeping, but all you have to do today is go talk to the lady Uncle Carlisle told us about the other night. You remember us talking about it?" I asked as I picked him up and propped him on my hip. Hell, he was a big kid, but he needed as much affection as we could give him, so I didn't hesitate.

He rested his head on my shoulder, and I sat down and held him on my lap, wrapping my arms around him and knowing he'd probably go back to sleep for a few minutes. It was a new routine, and I didn't hate it at all.

Jasper strolled into the kitchen as the coffee perked and Jake slept on my lap. He quietly laughed when he saw us, but there was a smile on his face that seemed genuine. "Well, what'll it be?"

"You want to trade me places? I'll make omelets," I offered.

He kissed my lips quietly before he lifted Jake off me. The boy molded around him, and he sat down in a chair, gently stroking his back.

"Coffee?" I asked quietly. He nodded.

I poured him a cup and added a bit of cream as he liked. I went to work on breakfast after I turned on quiet music. It was part of the new routine which I could see myself settling into for the rest of my fucking life.

"Have you checked in with your office?" I asked as I chopped ham for the omelets.

"I called in yesterday afternoon after I finished at the bank. I've got a few calls to return, but Lauren was able to stall them until Monday. She said I was on vacation. This damn well isn't a vacation," he commented as I added eggs to the pan for Jake's omelet.

I turned to Jasper and picked up my coffee, taking a sip. "I've made a lot of plans, and you haven't said anything about them. Are you okay with them?" I was worried. I'd set up Jake with a few camps, knowing I could fill in the gap with play dates with his friends and other activities when he didn't have anything scheduled, but I was making assumptions, and Jasper hadn't said much one way or the other.

He smiled as Jake began to stir, obviously smelling the food. "I think what I said earlier should be explanation enough, Edward. I need you, and if I'm right, you need me. I don't just need you to get me through this. I need you in my life. Hell, I have since the day I laid eyes on you. Please, don't think I don't appreciate everything you do, because it's all been…" he trailed off.

I saw him tear up, and I knew he didn't like crying in front of Jake, so I changed the subject. "Aunt Es and Uncle Carlisle are leaving Sunday evening after the reception. They've invited us to visit when you have a long weekend. They think Jake would like the pool."

I saw Jake jerk up his head and turn to me, which made me laugh. That kid had very distinctive buttons, and swimming was definitely one of them. "Pool? They have a pool?" he asked as he crawled off Jasper's lap and situated himself into a chair.

I poured him some apple juice, placing it in front of him before I sprinkled the ham and cheese he liked into his omelet. I pushed the toaster down, and turned to look at him, seeing his bright brown eyes open and wide awake.

"They do, and they hope we can come to visit a few times over the summer. I know your dad has work, but you have a week between soccer and computer camp, so I thought maybe we could go out there for a few days if it's okay with your dad. He might be able to come out for a weekend. I can write there, and Aunt Es can spoil _you_. Let's think about it, okay?" I asked.

I should have cleared it with Jasper first, but he was stuck in neutral, and from what I'd figured out, Alice had kept Jake's down time busy. He probably needed to settle into some sort of a routine, and with his father treading water, I'd pick up the slack to help as much as possible.

When the toaster popped, I pulled out the bread and buttered it quickly. I loaded the omelet onto the plate and handed it to Jake. His favorite cherry jam was already on the table, along with the ketchup he glopped on top of his eggs, making me cringe. He wasted no time digging in.

"Mr. Whitlock, what's your pleasure this Friday morning?" I asked as I whisked eggs in a bowl.

He looked at me with a smile. "That's a question for another time, but I'll have what Jake's having, along with a little hot sauce if ya don't mind, darlin'."

I glanced over my shoulder again, seeing that sexy smirk on his face I remembered from years ago. He knew how much I loved that fucking accent, and he was teasing me, which was welcomed. If he was at the point where he could tease me, we had a chance. We had a great chance.

##

Later that afternoon, I was busy firming up plans for the celebration of Alice's life we were going to have on Sunday afternoon. I'd spoken with Alice's friends and invited them to Jasper's house. It was being catered, and it wasn't a funeral. It was a gathering for people who cared enough about her to come together and share stories. It was nothing fancy, but I felt it was necessary for Jake and Jasper, though Jasper wouldn't admit it.

My two boys were at the therapist session Uncle Carlisle had helped orchestrate, and I was making a few last calls. The calls were follow-ups for people from her contact list I couldn't get in touch with the first pass. I hadn't left messages regarding her death because I felt if they were in her phone they must be somewhat important, and they deserved to hear it from a person, not an impersonal voicemail.

I pulled up a guy I'd been trying to catch for most of the week. His name was in Alice's phone as Jared, and when the phone had gone to his voicemail, the message was simply the canned message with the number and no details. I decided to try one more time before I gave up.

It rang once, and he answered, "Alice? I'm sorry we had that fight, honey. I know it was a surprise to ya, but you took me by surprise as well."

I froze for a moment and cleared my throat. "I'm sorry, but I'm not Alice. My name's Edward and I was a friend of hers. She, um, I'm trying to find out how you know her," I asked lamely.

"I…we were…wait, you're not her husband, right? When she tracked me down again, she didn't mention a husband. Hell, when I was at her house a few times or when she came to see me, she didn't say she was married."

"No, no. She's…I'm not her husband. Alice isn't married. Are you a date or boyfriend?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Dude, if you're a stalker who stole her phone, she'll hunt you down and beat your ass. She's crafty like that."

I had a sick feeling in my gut, but I couldn't let it go. "No, it's not like that. I was trying to get in touch with people she knew because she passed away. How long have you known Alice?"

"Damn. Son-of-a-bitch." He didn't say anything for a minute, and I prayed to God he wasn't who I worried he was.

After a minute, he responded, "Look, I'd rather not say anything more. I don't think it would be helpful to anyone, okay? I met her one night about eight, maybe nine, years ago. We spent the night together, and I deployed the next week. I'm sorry to hear she passed. I really liked her and hated myself for sneaking out of her place when I woke up that first time, but I had PT that morning."

"Oh, when did she contact you again? I'm just trying to clean up things for her parents," I lied.

"Shit…I guess six months ago. She called my cell out of the clear blue, and I didn't even know she had the number. We talked and agreed to meet up again. We went on a few dates when I was in Seattle for training at Yakima or visiting family I have at the rez. I'm Quileute, and I have some family at LaPush. When I had time off and could get away, Alice flew here for a couple of weekends. I'm stationed at Ft. Campbell, but we met up in Nashville. I didn't have any idea she was sick or anything. She didn't mention it when we talked recently, but there was a lot going on that day so maybe I missed it," he responded.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you, Jared. What's your full name?" I asked.

"I'm Staff Sergeant Jared Stone, sir. I appreciate the call, but I'd appreciate it if ya wouldn't call again. It makes things difficult for me. Please give my condolences to Alice's people. She really was a great girl."

"I will, Sergeant. Did she ever mention her family at all? I'm trying to track down everyone," I asked vaguely.

"She talked about a guy named Jake, but I assumed he was a friend. She seemed to care for him a lot, so maybe you should try to find him."

"That's a good idea. Did she mention anything about him that might give me a lead? There's no Jake in her phone."

"Uh, she said he was a great guy. She said he reminded her of me. She said we had similar features, so I'd say he was a Native American guy. Anyway, she said she cared for him a lot but he wasn't a boyfriend or anything. She said I'd like him, but really, we didn't have it like that. I wasn't into meeting her friends or anything. Hell, I'm set to be reassigned."

"Oh, where to, Sergeant?" I asked.

"I pulled a good one this time. Germany. Uh, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to go back to work. Please give my condolences to her family, sir. What was your name again?"

I took a deep breath and lied. "Edward Caine. Thank you for your time and safe travels." He thanked me for the call, and we hung up.

I sat at the counter of Jasper's home and made notes of Jared's name, phone number, and various facts about him for future reference in a notebook I'd assembled. I quickly deleted him from Alice's phone, and then, I broke the damn thing. Jasper hadn't asked about it, so I wasn't going to tell him anything. If he asked, I'd feign ignorance, but there was no way I'd ever tell him about yet another lie or deception on Alice's part. He didn't need it right now.

I heard a key in the front door, so I slipped the newspaper over the notebook and the broken phone in my pocket. I'd dump it somewhere after I took out the SIM card. Yeah, I was fucking paranoid, but I was looking out for my family, and yes, they were _my_ family.

Jake walked in first with a huge smile on his face, immediately giving me relief. "Hey, where's your cool car? Dad told me about it and maybe you'd take me for a ride."

Jasper walked in behind him, depositing a stack of mail on the counter. He turned to me and crossed his arms over his chest, which made me laugh. "Is there a problem?"

"Why is there a new Volvo at the curb with temporary tags?"

I laughed then. "You know I love a Volvo, and with the stuff Jake and I have planned over the summer, well, the Aston won't work. I can't take my guys out for dinner in a two-seater, can I? Speaking of which, I was thinking we could go out for barbeque. I thought maybe we'd call the Brandons and the Cullens and all of us go out for dinner. We've been eating in all week, and its Friday night."

Jake didn't even wait for Jasper to say anything before he had the house phone and was punching in numbers. "Grandma? You and Gramps wanna go for barbeque?"

Jasper walked over to where I was standing and leaned forward, kissing me gently on the cheek. "You didn't have to buy a damn car, ya know. I'd have lent you my truck. I can take a cab or the bus."

Jake hung up the phone and stared at the two of us. "Hey, I don't wanna see that business. I'll tell you two like I told Mom with that Army guy. No kissing in front of the kid."

We both looked at him, seeing him begin fiddling with his hands at his outburst. Jasper spoke first. "What Army guy?"

"Crap. One night I woke up and heard noises in the living room. I could tell it wasn't the TV, and I got worried so I went to see what was going on. Mom was on the couch with a guy in camo gear. It was like he was eating her face. It was gross."

"Did he see you?" I snapped without thinking.

"Naw. He wasn't lookin' around, his eyes were closed. Anyway, next mornin' I told her I saw her with the guy and she said she was sorry and promised never to bring him around again. She told me not to tell you about it. I never saw him after that."

"How long ago was that?" Jasper asked holding my hand tightly. We definitely needed to talk.

"I don't know. It was around Valentime's. You were in New York with _them._"

He was looking at Jasper, and I saw him flinch. "Remember anything else?"

"Not a lot to remember. It was like he was eating Mom's face, so I got the heck outta there. I'm gonna go…I'll be back." With that, Jake left and when we heard the bathroom door close, I turned to Jasper. I saw the look on his face and I knew I needed to tell him the truth, but we had to get through the weekend.

"Did you meet her dates?" I asked.

"Never. She told me she didn't _have_ guys at the house if Jake was there. Fucking hell," he lamented. I held him in my arms until we heard the toilet flush down the hall.

"I'll call and set up dinner. Why don't you check your work e-mails, love?"

He nodded and walked away. I had a bad feeling, but it could…it would have to wait. We had things to deal with, and after…well, we'd see where it went…together.

##

We all went out for dinner, but Jasper and I didn't really engage in conversation with the rest of the odd family. I paid the bill and we all went our separate ways. Well, I went back to Jasper's house with the intent to spend the night. The next day would be full of plans. Rose and Emmett had been working a lot that week, but they were coming over to help us get ready for the gathering on Sunday.

Jasper carried Jake into the house because he'd already fallen asleep in the SUV. He also lost a tooth at dinner, thanks to an ear of corn, so as Jasper settled him into bed, I slipped a ten dollar bill under his pillow, the tooth in a napkin securely in Jasper's pocket.

"Ten? When I was his age, I got a quarter," Jasper whisper shouted.

"Inflation? What's the appropriate amount?" I whispered back. He slipped a dollar under Jake's pillow and pulled out the ten, handing it to me.

"Oh, come on. He didn't even cry. That's got to be worth at least five," I whispered as I slipped a five under the pillow. Jake rolled over and we both froze. When he settled back into a peaceful sleep, we walked out of the room, pulling the door closed a bit.

We walked down the hallway to the kitchen. Jasper turned on the light, and I took a seat at the counter. "You need some parenting lessons," he stated as he pulled out a juice box, offering one to me. I laughed.

I took it, poking the straw into it and tasting the strawberries and bananas. I pulled the box back and confirmed my suspicions. "This is good, but I can make you a smoothie that tastes better. Hell, I could drizzle chocolate on you and scoop it up with a nice ripe strawberry," I suggested. Yeah, I was horny, and the idea was taking root. _Hey, I'm a guy. _He chuckled, but I could see the idea intrigued the hell out of him as well.

"Oh yeah? What else ya got?" he drawled. God I wanted to put him on the counter and give him a sample of what was running through my mind.

"What else ya want, Mr. Whitlock?" I teased as I strolled around the counter, pulling him forcefully into my chest.

I kissed him on his neck, moving along his stubbled jaw until I met his soft lips. I cradled the back of his head to hold him to me, kissing him passionately. Our breathing was erratic, and when we pulled away for a much needed breath, he looked into my eyes. "If you leave after giving me a kiss like that, I'm not lettin' ya back in." My heart was doing handsprings and I was happy to hear the drawl from him. I'd missed it.

I decided to tease him a little because I truly wanted him to have a few minutes where he wasn't thinking about all the shit swirling around him, especially about what Jake had spilled earlier.

"I don't think you locking me out will do either of us any good, do you? I think this," I reached down and cupped his hard cock through his jeans, "is a good indication your body doesn't agree with what's coming out of your mouth." I squeezed a little and heard him moan.

"You're still a fucking prick tease," he moaned again when I flipped the button on his jeans.

"I'm not a tease if I plan to follow through. I'm going to my car to grab my bag, and you go back to your bedroom and sit on the bed. Don't take off your clothes, and don't touch yourself. Your orgasms belong to me from now on," I instructed. I moved toward the kitchen, feeling a slap on my ass.

I turned to look at him and cocked an eyebrow. "I'd be very careful what you start, Jasper. You might not like the results you get this time around," I warned and let myself out of the house. I grabbed my bag from the back seat and locked my new SUV. After I was inside the house, I made certain the front door was locked and turned off lights on my way back to Jasper's room. I quietly opened Jake's door, seeing he was out like a light, and when I walked into the bedroom, I saw Jasper had done exactly as I'd demanded.

I closed the door and locked it, dropping my bag on a side chair. I walked over to stand in front of him, trying to hide my smile. He seemed a little nervous, but he seemed accepting of taking orders in the bedroom. That would bode very fucking well for us, moving forward. I wasn't the shy, unsure guy he'd known in college. Based on the look on his face, he understood it perfectly.

I took his hand, noticing we both smelled like smoke from the barbeque joint where we'd eaten that night. "Come on. I love your natural scent, but it's masked by hickory smoke and barbeque sauce."

We walked into his bathroom, and I closed the door, turning on a softer light than the harsh lights over his vanity. "Are there towels in here?" He nodded and pointed to the linen closet to my right. I chuckled.

"Love, you can speak, you know. I'm not into mutes." I reached into the closet and pulled out two towels and a bath mat.

I walked over to him and stripped his clothes from him, kissing his body as I exposed new flesh for my pleasure. He was so gorgeous, and I could tell he was a little uneasy, so I decided I needed him to voice his concerns. "What's wrong?"

His shirt was in the hamper, and without thought, I pulled off mine and tossed it in behind his. I flipped the buttons on my jeans and tossed them in as well, waiting for him to say anything.

I looked at him again, seeing he was clearly organizing his thoughts. I placed my finger under his chin, forcing him to look at me. "Jasper, tell me what's wrong?"

"I…I'm just surprised, I guess. Are you into BDS&M now or something? I mean, do you have some kinky playroom at your apartment with whips and ropes and whatever other things go with that lifestyle?" I withheld the laugh. Clearly, Jasper had been reading some of the erotica he published.

"No, baby, though I wouldn't mind trying a few things if we can ever get a weekend to ourselves. I don't have a playroom, and I'm not a sadist. Tying you up while I fuck you senseless could be fun, but I have no desire to subject you to any pain. I mean, if you'd like me to spank you sometime, I'd definitely enjoy the feel of your body draped over my lap while I turn your perfect ass a nice shade of red, and I can't say I wouldn't enjoy seeing my handprint there in bright red while I fucked you from behind.

"But, to be perfectly clear, my only desire is to provide you love, support, and pleasure. We've both had enough pain in our lives, and I don't get off on that sort of thing. I do like the upper hand because I feel more secure when I'm in control, but I'm not a heartless prick," I explained.

He seemed to understand a bit better, but I could tell he still had questions. He cleared his throat. "So, um, you won't be doling out punishment for what I did to you in the…"

I stopped him with two fingers gently resting over his soft, plump lips. It was definitely time to wipe that slate clean and move on. Dwelling on it would only tear us apart. "Let's settle this once and for all. What happened back then is in the past. We can't change it. We can learn from it, and we can move on. That's what I want to do, Jasper. I want us to move passed it and see where this relationship can take us. I think we're good together. If we're ever going to find out how good, we have to stop living in the past."

I moved my fingers from his lips and saw a smile. "I love you, Edward. I know we've made statements around it, but I _do_ love you, very much. I'm very much interested in learning everything about the man you've become." He unbuttoned his jeans and slipped them off, along with his boxers, tossing them toward the hamper.

He turned on the shower and hopped in, so I quickly followed behind. He was under the spray with his eyes closed and his head tilted back, so I reached for his shampoo, filling my hand. I gently turned him so his back was to me, and I shampooed his hair, massaging his scalp. His gentle sighs led me to believe he enjoyed being taken care of, which was something I derived a lot of pleasure providing.

After I rinsed it, ensuring all the shampoo was removed, I pulled him into my arms. "I love you, too, Jasper. I, too, want to know everything about the man you've become, but everything I've seen thus far tells me you're still the same boy I fell in love with years ago. You've just matured and polished up a bit. I have too. Now, let's get cleaned up and go to bed. I'll slip out after you're asleep and hit the spare room so Jake isn't freaked out," I told him quietly, hoping he sensed how honest and serious I was with my statements.

\\\

_**E/N: In my defense, somewhere in the US it's still 12/15. Anyway, regarding last night's chapter, I realize some of you might have been a little squigged out, but I have it on authority that particular act is one gay men enjoy a lot, so it seemed natural to put it in. **_

_**I know you're all waiting for the discussion between the boys about Jake, but we have identified a potential father…**_

_**We're near 200, and I hope this chapter flips it. I'm so grateful for each and every one of you, so thank you again for reading. Can't wait to hear from you on this chapter.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Good evening! I'm not late! Thank you for putting FIAV over 200 reviews! So happy you're with me. I know…one question answered….two more to ask. We're getting there, pinky swear.**_

_**[Sidebar: Some of you are very dirty girls ;-P ]**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

18.

##

JASPER

I woke at three in the morning, sensing the loss of warmth I'd fallen asleep with after the man so thoroughly sucked my cock…after I did his first. When he began to prepare me for sex after our shower, I winced a bit.

"_Are you sore, love?" he whispered._

_I was, but I wanted him again. "No," I lied, not looking into his eyes._

_He lowered his body over mine, looking into my eyes. "You're a beautiful liar, but you seem to forget I know your tells. We'll just modify the agenda. Don't ever lie to me, Jasper. That's a deal breaker for me, regardless of how much I love you."_

After we'd both found our release, one at a time so we could both savor it without distraction, I immediately fell asleep, having not slept well the previous night. Our discussion before the joint shower had actually given me a bit of peace about our relationship. All of my concerns about his intentions weren't gone, but I was feeling a lot better about things.

I heard a slight pecking coming from deeper in the house, so I pulled on boxers and quietly opened my bedroom door. I stopped by Jake's room, seeing he was still out like a light. I walked in and covered him with the sheet because the air conditioner was on and he tended to kick-off the blankets. I kissed his forehead and left the room to follow the sounds. As I walked down the hallway, they became a little louder, and I finally recognized them as typing.

I stopped in the shadows of the hallway to see Edward sitting on my couch in his boxers with his laptop on his thighs, typing away. God, it reminded me of myself in college. I couldn't remember how many times he'd found me in the same position when I was writing programs.

He had in earbuds, so he was likely listening to music, but the look on his face reminded me of the intensity I'd seen from him in college when he was in his writing zone.

_I woke up to find the bed empty, which was kind of unusual. If one of us was staying up all night, it was usually me working on something I'd put off. I snuck down the hall to see Edward on the couch with his laptop. He was studying the screen, and then he began typing quickly, having caught an idea. His process amazed me. He'd come up with stories and sometimes I'd read them without him knowing. In my opinion, the man was brilliant, but entirely too modest about his talent._

"_Hey, what's wrong?" I asked as I walked into the living room._

_He glanced up at me and smiled, patting the couch. "Come sit. I have to write a damn fairy tale for my creative writing class, and I have no original thoughts. Tell me a story about when you spent summers with your grandparents in high school," he asked._

_I took a deep breath and thought back to the days when I worked on my grandparents' farm. I remembered one time specifically that stuck out, so I went with it._

"_Okay. Um, once upon a time…" I began._

_Edward laughed. "No, just tell me the story. I'll frame it, love."_

_I laughed because I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment. As if I could write a story like him._

"_Okay. Well, one summer when I was at my grandparents' place, we were moving cattle. Well, we were separating calves that needed to be weaned from their mommas. We gave them their shots, and we turned them out onto another pasture. It's the way things happen on a cattle ranch. Anyway, there was this little roan heifer calling for her momma, and the cow wasn't coming up the hill. She was too young to be weaned, but she'd got caught up when we were bringing up the rest. _

"_My grandpa took off on his horse and went down the hill while the rest of us worked with the cattle. He came back an hour later, and he had the saddest look on his face. 'Coyotes got to the momma. She's gone,' he told us. _

"_He hopped off his horse and walked into the herd, picking up the little calf. He took it into a pen at the side where a cow and calf were settled, and he moved the heifer to the cow's bag. "She'll take care of ya, little one.' That cow actually allowed that heifer to suck, which was unusual, but my gramps knew her well enough to know she'd take care of anything around her. How's that?"_

"_That's where you get it from, then, isn't it?" Edward kissed me sweetly and sent me to bed. The story he wrote was amazing, and I knew he'd be successful in whatever he decided to do._

I watched as his eyes closed for a moment, and then they opened brightly and he went back to pecking away. I saw a slow smile tilt his lips and heard his keystrokes pick up. Obviously, he was on a roll. I started to slip down the hallway to leave him to his creativity, but I accidentally stumbled on the doorstop for the hall closet, catching his attention.

He looked up and chuckled. "Lurking in the shadows, love? Come here and let me know what you think about this." He pulled the earbuds out and settled the laptop on the coffee table, patting the couch cushion next to him.

I quietly walked over and moved to sit down when he scooted back and pulled me to sit between his legs on the edge of the couch. He scrolled to the top, and then he leaned back and began caressing my back and shoulders as I began reading the words on the screen. I won't lie and say I wasn't intrigued and a bit worried about what story he was telling.

_Cole Brooks stormed out of the office, angrier than he'd been in his life. How dare the man question his ability to do his job! How dare the man challenge him to take another direction on the ad campaign he'd been working on for two weeks straight, abandoning his personal life in the process! How dare the man be so fucking tempting Cole lost the ability to protest and argue his case! Trent Maxwell was an intoxicating combination of heartless businessman and cunning bastard, and Cole had no idea what to do about it._

"What's the story going to be about? This doesn't seem anything like the other story," I observed quietly as I skimmed the first page. I glanced to the bottom left corner of the document, seeing he was ten pages in, and I was truly impressed.

He pulled me back against him and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my neck. "That other story is ours and ours alone, and I regret sharing it with the few people I did. This is a completely different story. This one's going to take place at an advertising firm. Poor Cole is in love with his creative director, but he's only ever seen the guy with women, so he believes he's unattainable. The poor bastard is going to suffer from frustration and blue balls for a while, especially when he starts receiving cryptic e-mails to his work account from an anonymous internet address.

"They'll be sexy and fuel some very vivid fantasies, but eventually…and I'm not sure how yet… he'll find out his boss has been hitting on him for a long time. There will be a little sneaking around the office for sexual encounters, and of course, they'll try to keep everything under wraps at work, but they'll get caught, probably by a woman who had eyes for Trent, and maybe a little blackmail to keep things interesting at work. I'm not sure, but there're a lot of places it can go from there. What do you think?" I was fascinated.

I turned to him and smiled. "I think it's very promising. How long have you been up?"

"After you sucked the life out of me, and as a side note, I have to thank my parents for not having me circumcised even though it was likely an unpopular choice at the time. The way you can manipulate my foreskin drives me fucking crazy. Anyway, I drifted off for a bit and had a dirty dream about fucking you on the desk in your office. I woke up very hard, and you were very much asleep, but that was when inspiration struck.

"When I'm writing, I keep strange hours, and with the turmoil right now, I'm going to try to temper it for Jake's sake, but I needed to get the idea's down so I could come back to it. Did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet." He had such a soft smile on his face I couldn't _not_ kiss him.

When I pulled away, he was still smiling as he moved my hair off my face, reminding me I needed a haircut. "You were quiet. I just woke up and you weren't there. I heard a quiet noise so I went to find out what it was, and here you are. Are you staying up? You can sleep with me, babe. I'll be up before Jake," I told him, hoping he'd sleep with me in my bed. I found his warm body next to mine was like a sleeping pill.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly. He seemed to like the idea very much, and I damn well loved it.

"I'm sure. Come to bed when you're ready." I rose from his embrace and went back to bed. I was used to working with writers, and I knew how odd the creative process could be. I truly hoped I wouldn't be without him for too long.

I woke later, feeling his arm resting on my stomach just above the elastic of my boxers. His wild hair was tickling my chin, and his head was resting on my chest. I heard the toilet flush, so I gently extricated myself from under him and went to my own bathroom. After I brushed my teeth and pulled back my hair, securing it in a rubber band, I pulled on pajama pants and a t-shirt.

I quietly left the bedroom, just as Jake walked out of his, rubbing his eyes. I leaned over and picked him up, noting it wouldn't be too long until I wouldn't be able to do it any longer. "Bud, it's still early. You can sleep a little while longer. Uncle Em won't be here for hours," I whispered as his head rested on my shoulder.

"There's noise outside and it keeps waking me up. Can I sleep in your bed?" _Shit! Not something I thought he'd asked._

"Um, how about I make you a bed on the couch and you can watch cartoons?"

"Nuh-uh. Your bed."

How the hell would I explain it? "Bud, Edward's still asleep in my bed."

"Did he have a bad dream?" I couldn't contemplate the number of responses that came into my head, none of which were appropriate to share with my son.

"Uh, I believe he did. How about you nap in the spare room for a little while?"

He nodded, so I took him into the room on the other side of the house and placed him on the bed, covering him with a blanket draped across a chair in the corner. He seemed to already have fallen back to sleep, so I quietly pulled the door almost closed and went to the kitchen.

I needed to do some laundry and clean the house because we were having the reception at my house the next day. Edward had made the arrangements, with Mary, Esme, and Rosalie's help. I really didn't know what was set to happen, but I had every confidence it would be tasteful.

I went to the kitchen to start the coffee, deciding to wait until they were up to start breakfast. As I waited for the coffee to brew, I noticed a notebook I'd seen Edward writing in over the week, along with the Mont Blanc pen I'd given him for Christmas years ago. That discovery made me smile.

I opened the notebook, seeing his famous lists in his elegant script. The first page was filled with his self-assigned tasks and notes regarding Jake's summer plans with footnotes to discuss them with me. I wasn't surprised at all.

The second page was a list of people I assumed he'd gotten from Alice's phone and her address book. I chuckled at the notations beside each name and phone number. They were broken down into categories: "Friend," "Acquaintance," "Business Contact," and "Idiot."

Some had stars beside their names, and when I counted them, I saw the number correlated with a notation at the top of the page regarding the guest list for the gathering on Sunday. The ones which were crossed through didn't fall into the friend category, so I assumed he'd simply notified them.

Those designated as business acquaintances were highlighted. At the top of the page, I found the highlighted entries were to be discussed with me. All of it was Edward's typical M.O., but what caught my eye was the last entry on the back side of a page. There was a circle with a slash through it, and notes he'd made, likely during the phone conversation.

_Staff Sgt. Jared Stone. Met A 9 yrs. ago. Deployed the next week. She contacted him six months ago. __Quileute descent__! He was in Seattle for visits with family, and she met him in Nashville a few times. She told him Jake was a friend. Stationed at Ft. Campbell but moving to Germany soon. Identified myself as Edward Caine in conversation._

It was apparent to me this guy was the most likely candidate to be Jake's father, and I knew my time was up to keep it from Edward. Based on his notes, he either already knew it or had his suspicions, and he'd seen Alice and me, so he wasn't stupid enough to think Jake looked like me or much like Alice either, really. I needed to come clean and prayed he didn't leave me over the deception. Surely, he'd understand I was simply trying to protect my son?

##

Two hours later, my house was a flurry of activity, both inside and out. There was a lawn care service manicuring my yard. They were cutting the grass, trimming the hedges, and weeding the flower beds where the gerbera daisies had just bloomed. When Edward saw them, he kissed me soundly and thanked me before he hurried back into the house.

Inside, Rosalie, Mary, and Esme were busily rearranging furniture to allow space for the caterers. Emmett and Jake were in Jake's room playing video games so as to stay out of the way, and I had no idea where Carlisle and Fred were hiding.

I was completely overwhelmed as I watched all of the activity, and I thought about what Alice would make of it if she were still alive. She'd have been in the thick of it if it was for anyone other than herself, I was certain.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as I stood on my front porch. I turned to see Edward standing there with a glass of tea in his hand. "Thirsty, love? Are you okay? I should have talked to you about all this, but it seemed like you didn't want…" he began explaining.

I took the tea and leaned forward to kiss him, ceasing all of his concerns. "Please, don't apologize for doing something I should have done myself. I need a haircut before tomorrow, and it wouldn't kill Jake either. Do you think its poor form for me to duck out for an hour?" I asked.

He took my left hand and kissed the bracelet I hadn't been without since he reappeared in my life. "I'm happy you're wearing it. I've noticed, but I was afraid to say anything about it. Anyway, how'd Jake end up in bed with me?"

I laughed. "He woke up because there was a noise outside his room. I didn't realize it was the lawn crew. I talked him into the spare room after I told him you were sleeping in my room. He asked if you had a bad dream, and being the chicken shit I am to be honest with my son, I said yes. I'd guess he was trying to comfort you and that's why he slipped into my room and climbed into bed with you. I hope it wasn't awkward."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Not at all. Of course, I was caught off guard when he pushed open my eyelids because he thought he smelled breakfast. It scared the shit out of me because it didn't register for a minute, but when I woke enough, I tickled him until he told me he was going to pee in your bed. He's such a great kid. Why don't you take him for a haircut and maybe you guys get lunch while you're out? He might need some _dad_ time."

"Good idea. You need anything while I'm out?" I asked.

"No. Just be careful. Love you, Jasper."

I had started to walk away, but I turned back and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist to pull him closer. "I don't feel like _I love you_ is enough to tell you how I feel about you, but that's all I have to offer. I _do_ love you, Edward. Thank you so much for everything you're doing. Tomorrow night after everyone leaves, I need to talk to you about something very important. If you need more clothes to stay at the house, can you go today and pick them up? I have to go back to work on Monday because I've got meetings in the morning, but I truly need to talk to you."

He kissed me gently. "Whatever you need, I'm here, Jasper."

With that, I left him and went into the house to find Jake. A little alone time with my son seemed like a good idea.

\\\

_**E/N: I still love the flashbacks from when the boys were in college. Thoughts?**_

_**Heads up: My last posting of this story before a break for the holidays will be Thursday night. Where I'm holidaying, I won't be able to post, so I'll leave you at a good place (I think), and resume the story when I return. THIS STORY ISN'T FINISHED. There're still many things in store for this family. Please don't take me off alert.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till tomorrow…xoxo**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N: I know…I'm late, but I had to finish up Christmas shopping. So, let's get to it.**_

_**Smeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

19. Confession is good for the Soul

##

EDWARD

I was fucking exhausted. It was Sunday night, and Jasper was putting Jake to bed. They were reading in Jake's room, and I was thinking about what had taken place over the weekend.

_Saturday afternoon while we were setting things up in Jasper's house, he and Jake came home, both with fresh haircuts, a large helium tank, and bags of multi-colored balloons. Rosalie had suggested a simple ceremony of sorts wherein everyone wrote a good-bye to Alice on a slip of paper and put it inside a balloon to be filled with helium. They would all be released at the same time, sending the sentiments off to the heavens. Jake liked the idea very much._

"_You both look rather dapper," I teased as I plated the cookies Aunt Es and Mary had made. They were in the shape of snowflakes, but I had no idea why. It wanted to ask Mary about them, but I didn't want to offend anyone by asking about something obviously personal to Alice's family. I had to keep reminding myself I was the "outsider," for all intents and purposes._

_Jake walked over and reached for a cookie, looking at me. I looked around to see the women were busy, so I handed him a few with a warm smile. I also handed him a napkin, and he hurried off. I looked at Jasper and saw a pitiful look on his face as well. "Jesus," I sighed as I handed him two cookies. He kissed me on the lips and slipped away._

_I heard a laugh behind me and turned to see the three women with large smiles on their faces. "You're a pushover," Rosalie teased. Yeah, I was, but I loved them. Who wasn't a pushover for the people they loved?_

"_I am, and I don't care who knows it. What else would I be when it comes to them, Rosalie?"_

_She placed a hand on my shoulder so I turned to look at her. "I truly wish I'd have met you when you and Jasper were younger. I was at Columbia at the time because I thought I was too good to go anywhere else, but I missed out on something great. I'm glad I'm here to witness its second incarnation. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better when things calm down. You'll stay around for that to happen, right?"_

_I laughed and picked her up, spinning her around which she didn't appreciate at all. "Yes, Sister Dear, I'll be right here."_

_The rest of the afternoon was busy, but Rosalie and I got to know each other. Sunday morning, we actually went to an Episcopal church with the whole family. Jake fidgeted the whole time, tugging at his tie and sighing heavily every few minutes, but he truly tried to behave. I had to give him props for his patience._

_The sermon was about acceptance and forgiveness, and as Jake sat between us, holding both of our hands, I found it quite fitting._

_When we got back to Jasper's house, the guests showed up, and after many discussions about Alice's many antics, pranks, and loving gestures for those about whom she cared, there was the balloon release in the back yard. As the afternoon wound down, I saw a woman in the corner who had spoken with many of the people who had been Alice's co-workers. _

_I deftly made my way over as she stood sipping a cup of coffee and seemingly trying to get Jasper's attention. He was busy with Jake, speaking with a few people who were apparently regular chums of Alice's._

"_Good evening and thank you for coming to honor Alice's memory. I'm Edward Masen, a good friend of Jasper's. You are?" I asked._

_She extended her hand confidently and looked me in the eye. "I'm Carmen Denali, Alice's boss. I believe you spoke with my secretary, Tanya."_

_I nodded. "I'm sorry it took us so long to get in touch with your office, but there were a lot of things to handle, and Jake was our priority," I answered, waiting to see what she'd make of it._

"_I've been worried about her erratic behavior for a while, but she kept telling me things were fine. I swear if I thought she'd have…well, I'd have called Jasper," she confessed looking very guilty._

"_Ms. Denali, how much time has Alice taken off recently?" I asked, thinking about the discussion I'd have with Staff Sgt. Stone regarding Alice's visits to Nashville._

_She looked up at the ceiling for a moment and then looked at me. "I'd say over the last six months, she's taken off early on Fridays. Maybe five or six. Nothing consistent and I believe they were the weekends Jasper had Jake, so I wouldn't say she was neglectful, and for her sake, I hoped she'd met someone._

"_She always came to work with new ideas after the weekends. I get the impression she didn't sleep a lot. I'm not sure why, and being the selfish business owner I am, I didn't question it. I sent her to New York a few weeks ago for her to meet with the manufacturer because the samples we were getting weren't up to her standards, and she was beside herself at the opportunity to go speak with the factory face-to-face. Unfortunately, when she came back, she wasn't the same," the woman told me._

_Just as I was about to question her more, Jake grabbed my hand, drawing all of my attention. "Bud, what's up?" I asked. I squatted down to meet his eyes, seeing he was a bit distraught._

"_Would it be okay if I went to my room and played a game for a while?"_

"_How about we go try that Tiger Woods thing again?" He nodded, so I shook Mrs. Denali's hand and the two of us slipped down the hallway and into his room._

"_Why don't you change into shorts and a t-shirt so you can be comfortable?" I suggested. He seemed relieved as I handed him clothes, and when he slipped down the hallway to the bathroom, it was as if he was on a covert operation._

_When he came back, we settled on the floor and played the game. I slipped off my shoes and socks and surprisingly, I was catching onto the game…with Jake's help. He laughed at some of my bad shots, but he gave me tips which I appreciated it. Just before he mopped up the floor with me, Jasper slipped into the room and sat down, taking the controller from me._

"_We're gonna have to teach you how to play, aren't we, Jake?" he teased as he teed off._

_Jake looked at me and smiled. "We need to teach him a lot of things, Dad. Do you know how to play soccer? Dad doesn't."_

"_Actually, I played in school. Maybe we can teach your dad how to play," I teased. They played the video game and I watched, resting my arm against the bed and tugging on Jasper's newly shorn locks. He looked amazing, and I couldn't have been happier the three of us were in our little world._

_There was a knock on the door, and Jake paused the game, calling for them to enter. When the door opened, it was Aunt Esme with her ever-present, gentle smile. "Hi, Mrs. Cullen," Jake welcomed before he yawned._

_She laughed. "You three have successfully avoided the awkward good-byes, and Carlisle and I are going to drop Fred and Mary at the airport before we head home. Come say good-bye, boys."_

_We rose from the floor and after Jasper hurried out, always the host, Jake grabbed my hand. "Will you stay tonight? Aunt Rose is really worried about him, and I know he's not so sad when you're around."_

"_Jake, you and your dad are the two most important people in my life, and I'll do everything I can to make sure nothing bad happens, okay?" I told him, meaning every word._

_We said our good-byes to everyone, and we promised visits. It seemed we'd been accepted as a family, which didn't bother me at all, but I had to feel Jasper out about it._

I was sitting on the couch in the living room with my laptop, fleshing out my characters a bit more. I had my eyes closed as I imagined an e-mail of the suggestive nature Cole would receive when I felt a hand on my cheek.

I opened my eyes, seeing Jasper smiling at me. "You're not sleeping are you?"

I took his hand and pulled him down next to me. "No love, I was trying to imagine what a suggestive e-mail from Trent to Cole would entail. Is Jake asleep?" I asked.

He pushed me down on the couch after he took my laptop and placed it on the coffee table. He stretched out on top of me, and I wasn't sorry about it at all. We kissed gently. I held him in my arms to let him know I loved him, and when I felt wetness on my neck that wasn't coming from me, I shifted us so he was lying next to me on the couch. I saw his tears, and I'd actually expected them.

"Love, I know you're hurting. I'm so sorry," I whispered as I held him tightly, twining my legs with his.

After a few minutes, he pulled back and looked into my eyes. "Edward, I have a huge fucking problem, and I swear to God, I have no idea how to deal with it. I have a feeling you might have some inkling of it. What did Alice tell you about my son?"

I took a deep breath and stroked his cheek, brushing away the tears as they continued to fall. "She told me how much the two of you loved your son. She told me she'd made mistakes. Why?" I asked. I couldn't be the one to tell him if I was reading the situation wrong. If he didn't' know, I'd never tell him.

"You're lying to me. _You know_."

"I _know_ what, Jasper?"

He took a deep breath and I saw the fresh tears in his eyes, so I spoke first. "I know you love Jake, no matter what. I know what Alice told me and while your blood might not run through his veins, you _are_ his father. I know she wasn't stable, Jasper, but I know, love, you are the _best_ father for Jake in the whole wide world. That's all I need to know," I told him as I kissed away his tears.

I held him as he fell apart. He was due, and if I'd have been in his position, I can't say I wouldn't do the same. I shed a few of tears of my own, but as he cried, I only became more resolute I wouldn't let one mother fucker come along to make our life difficult. The three of us would have a life together, and it would be wonderful. That was all I had in my mind, and I'd make him believe it.

"I had no idea about it. In her suicide note to me, she told me the truth. Who _does_ that?"

I held him again for a while, and I decided the discussion was better had in his bedroom. "Let's go to bed. We can talk there. We have less of a chance of Jake waking up without us knowing. Come on," I coaxed as I closed my laptop and led him to his bedroom.

We settled on his bed under the sheets, and I decided it was time to just get it all out. "So, you know Jake's not your biological child. How do you feel about it?" I whispered.

"I just wonder why she lied to me. I mean, I'd have tried to help her anyway, but why that? Why _lie_ to me?"

I weighed the options of telling him what she'd told me which was she wanted his money, but at the end, I decided he didn't need to be hurt by that news, so I took a deep breath and twisted it. "She thought you would be good for her baby. You were strong and steady, and for a while, she didn't know if it was you or the other guy she'd been with the next night.

"After his eyes changed, she changed her appearance. She wanted the best for Jake, and well, you were the best. She said she didn't remember the name of the other guy, and she wanted her son to have a great dad. She picked you, Jasper. She knew you'd be a great dad. At the end of it, she gave you a wonderful gift."

He took a deep breath. "Yes, but she kept in touch with Staff Sgt. Jared Stone, didn't she? That's something we'll have to worry about, isn't it?"

I felt my gut flip, but I wouldn't lie to him. "You saw the notebook, didn't you?"

"I was putting shit together in my head, but when I saw your notes, I knew who it was. He's the guy, isn't he?"

I didn't answer for a minute because it seemed like if we didn't say it out loud it wasn't true, but I could only ignore it for a minute. I turned him to look into my eyes because I meant it with my entire heart. He needed to understand it.

"I believe he's the guy. Look, Jasper, he's being reassigned to Germany, and there's no reason he needs to ever know because from what I gathered, Alice didn't tell him the truth. Jacob is_ your_ son. It says so on his birth certificate, and you have no reason to believe it to be any other way. Don't you worry about any of it, okay? Jake is your son. Nothing in Alice's Will states otherwise," I reminded.

"Realistically, people will figure it out. I can't hide the fact he looks nothing like me." His voice was raised, and if he continued on the path, he was going to be shouting which would only wake Jacob.

I kissed him to shut him up, wrapping my hands in his shorter hair to shift him onto his back, happy to feel him against me again. My mind was running rampant, but my body was right there with his, feeling his heart beat in time with mine. We were one. We loved each other, and we had for years, although my stubborn pride kept us apart. It was right, and I was so fucking happy to have him, it was incredible.

When I felt his body relax, I pulled away and looked into his eyes. "There's a way to fend off Jared Stone. We never acknowledge he was in Alice's life…_ever_. I'd say that's the best way to go. I destroyed her phone, and he's leaving the country. He doesn't want to hear anything more from us.

"He mentioned family in the area, but the chances we ever run into any of them are a million to one. We forget all about him and we go to New York to deal with your parents. Maybe Rosalie and Emmett could keep Jake for a weekend while we go handle it. He doesn't have to go with us and deal with them, and I'll be right there with you. I can handle them, Jasper. I won't let anyone destroy our family."

That night, after Jasper fell into an exhausted sleep, I sent Uncle Carlisle a text.

_Any word on the meds and the doctors? I have a feeling I know the answer, but I'd like you to confirm. Thanks again for coming. Love you both. Edward_

I put my phone on vibrate and fell asleep next to Jasper, holding him gently in my arms. It was as easy as breathing.

\\\

_**E/N: FINALLY! So? We're not done, so please don't go anywhere. Edward and Jasper are going to New York to see JR and Lilly. That's not to be missed.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Good evening! Thank you for your reviews from last night. I'm so happy you liked the chapter. I wanted the two of them to discuss the truth, but I didn't want it to be harsh. Glad to read many of you agreed.**_

_**So this is the last chapter before the holidays. I hope I've conveyed more of Jasper's personality in it to show how much he's changed since he screwed Edward over in college. Happy holidays to all! I'll be back before you know it!**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

20. A Burden Shared is a Load Reduced by Half

##

JASPER

I woke on Monday morning with a sense of peace in my soul. Edward had called us a family the night before as he comforted me, and whether he knew it or not, he had worked to erase a lot more of my concerns regarding our relationship. We'd settled into bed eventually, and as I listened to his soft snores for a few minutes, I felt a peace settle in my soul.

Just as I was about to get up, I felt him wrap his arms around me. "What time is it?" he whispered sleepily.

I glanced at the clock to see it was just six in the morning, which was early for me to get up, but I needed to get a jump on the backlog of shit at my office, and with the rest of the staff not due in until nine, I'd get a lot done with the quiet.

"It's early, darlin'. It's only six. Jake won't wake up for a few hours because he doesn't have school and I didn't set his alarm. Are you going to be okay with him this week until camp starts next week?" I asked as I sat on the side of the bed with my back to him. If I looked back, I'd never get out of bed.

"We'll be fine. I'll go by the school and pick up his things from the office. I phoned them on Friday and found out they're open until noon all this week before they close up for June and July. We'll find things to do, don't worry." He sounded confident, but I wasn't exactly sure.

"Well, if anything happens, call my cell. If I don't answer, call Lauren and she'll find me wherever I am. I need to get a shower," I told him as I walked toward the bathroom. I closed the door and turned on the tap, adjusting the temperature.

I stood at the sink to brush my teeth and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Despite all of the bullshit that had taken place over the last few weeks, I looked better and more rested than I had in years.

As I thought about it, I realized I'd only contemplated taking a drink the night Alice had died. Since I stopped drinking three years earlier, there hadn't been many days when I didn't think about a drink, and I damn sure hadn't gone an entire week without thinking about it prior to Edward coming back into my life.

I hurried through my shower and shave because there was a meeting on the way to work I could catch since I was so early. I damn well didn't want to let go of my new momentum, and going to a meeting was a good way to remind me I never wanted to go back to that shitty existence again.

As I got dressed, I reminded myself to call Billy and Peter to see how they were doing and let them know I was doing well. I had a good support system in place, and I wasn't about to take it for granted.

I strolled down the hallway with my jacket over my arm and my tie loose around my neck because the lure of coffee was too incredible to resist. Edward had gotten me addicted to the fancy shit he liked, much like many other things.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing him in a pair of my basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He was leaning against the counter drinking a cup of coffee. When he saw me, he smiled brightly and offered me a cup prepared exactly as I liked. "You didn't have to get up, babe," I told him as I kissed him gently in thanks for the coffee.

"Hey, a chance to see my man in a suit headed off to do an honest day's work? How could I pass _that_ up? Besides, I thought I'd write a while until Jake gets up. Do you have the number for his pediatrician? I need to schedule him for a physical for soccer camp. It has to be within the last six months, so the one he got in September for school isn't going to fulfill the requirement," he asked.

"Um, look on my desk. There's a list with…hell, babe, I'll set it up. I've got the number at work. I don't expect you to do everything," I responded, feeling a little guilty for becoming so dependent on him so quickly. I needed to adjust to being the one to handle the responsibilities associated with Jake on my own. I didn't think Edward would leave me, but as I'd quickly learned, things could change in a heartbeat.

He smiled. "Fine, you set up the appointment and remember to tell them I'll be the one bringing him. You should probably notify them his mother is deceased so they can make a note on his file. Anyway, you have time for breakfast or…" I saw him wiggle his eyebrows, and I laughed.

"I wish I had time for '_or'_ but I'd like to hit a meeting before I go to work. Hold the thought for tonight?" I asked hopefully.

He looked a little worried. "I'm glad you're going to a meeting this morning. About tonight, I believe I should spend the night at my place. I don't want Jake to think I'm trying to monopolize all of your time, and I think you need to spend time, just the two of you, to establish your new routine. I'm flexible enough to work around what you need, but I also think he needs you more since all of the activity has died down. Reality is going to set in for him, and I think it'll be good for the two of you to handle it without him having to worry about me.

"I'll stay tonight for dinner, but then I'm going home. I'll be back in the morning if you let me know what time you want to start your day," he suggested.

It would be a lie for me to say I wasn't disappointed, but I appreciated his candor and understanding. "You're right. Thank you for being so understanding about this. I'll call you later today, and if you need me, call." I walked over and hugged him, sucking hard on his neck a bit as I took in his unique scent. It calmed me very much, and I wasn't dreading the day as much as I had the previous night.

When I pulled away, I saw the smirk on his face. "Marking your territory before you go off to work, love? I walked around campus with hickeys for the two years we were together. Why would I think you'd changed just because you're twenty-eight year's old?"

I laughed. "Hey, I can't help myself. You shouldn't look so damn fuckable first thing in the morning. I'll talk to you later. Love you," I told him as I checked the clock again. He gave me a peck on the lips before I dashed out to my truck.

After my meeting, I went to the office, unlocking the door for the first time in a while. My inbox was full, and there was a call sheet at the center of my desk. Lauren had been leaving messages on my cell early on, but I asked her only to notify me of the emergency calls which couldn't wait until I returned.

I glanced down the list to see most of them were from agents and authors who had current projects with us. There were a few from some of our contacts at various distribution outlets which should have been directed to Rosalie, and there was a call from the attorney who had written Alice's Will. I noticed it was just after seven-thirty in the morning, so I decided not to call him until later.

I began working through my inbox and before I knew it, Lauren was standing at my office door with a cup of coffee and the head-tilt of pity. "How you doing, Jasper?"

I closed the file of rejection correspondence she'd left for me to approve and looked up. "I'm not great, but I'm going to be fine. Anything I need to know about that's not on the call sheet?"

She walked in and closed the door, which didn't give me a good feeling at all. "Your parents have each called every day. They wanted your cell, which I didn't give them, telling them I wasn't allowed to give it out to anyone. Your father threatened to fire me. Irina said she overheard Rosalie in a shouting match over the phone with them. They're getting a little…uh, ruder each time they call."

"If either of them call, put 'em through or find me if I'm away from my office. Also, Lauren, if Edward Masen phones at any time, hunt me down immediately. Pull me out of meetings, the men's room, lunch, whatever. He is the only person beside Rosalie who I will _always_ speak with. My parents, that's just for the time being.

"Send these back to the rejection pool, and make sure they understand to attach the manuscript to the letter and send any additional copies to be shredded. I'll be in Conference Room D. Is Rose in yet?" I asked. She punched something in her phone and looked up. "She is. Anything else?"

"Put a note on my calendar for tomorrow to swing by King Mortuary to pick up…to make a pick-up. Also, can you find a shipper I can use to ship human remains to Brandon, Mississippi? I'm sure there's some sort of regulations around it." I wasn't looking forward to either task, but the crematory wouldn't have the remains back at the mortuary until Tuesday, and I wanted to take care of sending Alice's ashes to her parents as soon as possible.

"Sure. Also, you mentioned when we spoke you'd signed up Jake for summer camps and activities to fill his summer. Do you have the numbers for me and the names of the camps so if they call I can find you? I'm making a list of numbers I need, now that all calls will no longer go through, um… Alice. Do you have a new emergency contact for your personnel file? Connie called and asked about it. Also, she needs to discuss your insurance beneficiary, and she mentioned she'll need a copy of…um, the death certificate to make any changes. I'm sorry, Jasper, but it's…"

I motioned for her to sit down because she was too damn efficient for my own good. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding all of these issues, but I've had my hands full. Make me a list, and I'll get together what you need. You're a great assistant, and I appreciate you wanting to help out. A lot of things have come up I've never considered, and it gets a bit overwhelming at times, but I've got a lot of help. How's the gossip mill with this news?"

"The only people who are aware of your loss are the people on this floor. Rosalie swore all of us to secrecy. We all know how private you are, and we respect you. We'd like to make a contribution to a charity in her memory if you've picked one. We always enjoyed her visits with Jake," she offered which surprised me.

"I'm working on it. Maybe that's something you could help me with? Is there some sort of suicide prevention…no, let's not go that way. Find out if there's some sort of organization to support people suffering from mental and emotional disorders. That seems like the most productive way to address the issue. Come up with a few organizations, and I'll talk to Jake and Edward about them," I requested.

She seemed surprised. "Edward Masen, the writer? I thought you were just trying to get a book out of him. Do you know him personally?"

I hadn't considered nobody except my sister would know about Edward and me. I definitely wasn't ashamed of him and I wasn't hiding our relationship, so it was time to give up a little bit of the precious privacy I clung to like a life line.

"Edward Masen and I have known each other for ten years and are best friends. We, uh, were out of contact for a few years, but he's been invaluable to me at handling all of the issues that have come up recently. He's as efficient as you, as a matter of fact. He's taking care of Jake this week for me, and he's been a great support to me through all of this, just as he was back in college.

"I'll get all his contact information for you so you can have him added to my address book and send him my calendar on Friday afternoons so he can let me know if there are any conflicts in our schedules the next week. Anything else?" I asked.

She giggled a little. "Damn. I owe Irina five bucks. That man is smoking hot, and she told me she was sure he was gay, but I guess I was hoping he wasn't. Anyway, good for you, boss. _Best friends_? I think you're not telling everything, but I won't pry." She looked at her watch and smiled. "You better get going or you're going to be late."

She hurried out of my office, leaving the door open. I hurriedly pulled on my suit coat and grabbed the file I needed for the meeting, not really looking forward to discussing division budgets for two hours. Rosalie had called the meeting, and after the week she'd had with having to handle her job and my job, I owed it to her to be there in support.

After my second meeting that morning, I strolled back to my office, stopping at Lauren's desk to see her giggling as two bouquets of flowers set on her desk. "Oh, he's just walked up. May I put you on hold for a moment? Thank you."

She pressed the hold button and looked up at me with a mischievous look. "Your _best friend_ is on the line. You forwarded the list to him and failed to give him my electronic information so he didn't have to bother you with it. He's really a delightful man. Anyway, talk to him while I get your lunch. I'll be back," she ordered as she handed me the receiver to her phone and hit the button.

"_Just be careful!"_ I heard yelled.

"Edward, where are you?" I asked, hearing a lot of noise over the line.

"Oh, hey babe. Your assistant is a sweet young woman. She and I were having a very entertaining conversation regarding your work habits. Anyway, I'm at a place called _The Discovery Zone_. It's this huge indoor entertainment complex and Jake is in heaven. We're meeting his friend Embry and his mother here for a play date because the park got cancelled due to the rain," he informed.

"Rain?" I asked. Hell, I hadn't even looked outside since I got to the office.

"Yes, love, it's raining cats and dogs. So, how's everything going?" It was somewhat quieter now, which made me wonder where he'd gone.

"It's busy as I knew it would be, and our fiscal year ends next month, so its budget time which is a pain in the ass. Be happy you don't have to deal with this side of things. You won't mind if I put you down as my emergency contact, will you? Alice was listed on my file, but obviously, I need to change it. Rosalie's here if anything happens, so she'll likely be the first to know, but I need a back-up."

He chuckled. "_Sorry. I guess I'm in a bad spot. _ Sorry, love. I stepped into a little alcove where I can still see Jake and hear you, and I'm blocking the ladies' room entrance. I suppose I look like some sort of a pervert hovering outside the ladies' room. Anyway, I'll send Lauren an e-mail with all my contact information so she can give it out to whomever. I'd be honored to be your emergency contact. Does that mean we're going steady?"

I laughed as Lauren walked back to her desk with a fax and a plastic container for me, placing one on her desk that was identical. "What's this?" I asked her.

"Your _best friend_ bought us lunch and had it delivered with the flowers. You better marry him or I'm having a sex change so I can," she informed.

Based on the laugh I heard from Edward, he overheard her and was cracking up on the other end of the line. "I really like her. Tell her my heart belongs to you, but I appreciate her interest. Oh, it seems Jake's friend is here. I better go introduce myself before the woman thinks I've just abandoned him here. I'll talk to you later. Love you, Jasper."

"Love you, too, and thanks. See ya tonight," I responded without thinking.

I looked up to see Lauren smiling coyly. I had to stop her before I found myself red-faced at my office. "Don't start. Who are the flowers from?" I asked as I handed her the phone and flipped open the container revealing a very delicious seared tuna steak on baby greens. She handed me a fork and a napkin as she dug into what appeared to be a grilled chicken breast over the same salad. I took a bite of the tuna, finding it cooked perfectly with a delicious citrus vinaigrette drizzled over the top.

"Well, these are for me and they are from Mr. Edward Masen. _'Thank you for making Jasper's life easier. I appreciate it. Sincerely, Edward Masen.'_ I'm guessing since they're from the same florist, this bouquet, which is addressed to you, is from him. Are there any straight one's at home like him?" she asked as she handed me the card from the pick in the beautiful bouquet of mixed spring flowers. Lauren's bouquet was a variety of all white flowers and it was very fragrant.

I opened the card and saw my son's familiar printing.

_Have a good day at work, Dad. Love you, Jake_

At the bottom, there was a little arrow that directed me to flip the card over. When I looked at the other side, I saw it was a note from Edward.

_Your son is quite remarkable. I hope these brighten your day. I'll be thinking about you. I love you, E_

"You're so much in love!" Lauren gushed. Hell, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, so I didn't even try.

"Bring your lunch and come with me," I ordered. I grabbed my lunch and the vase of flowers from her desk and went to my office. I placed the salad on my desk and the flowers on the credenza to my left where they'd be in my line of sight when I worked on my computer.

I took off my jacket and draped it over the back of my chair and sat down, flipping my tie over my shoulder so as not to stain it as I dug into my lunch. Lauren went to the little fridge in my office and grabbed us each a bottle of water, taking a seat across from me. "Okay, dish," she ordered as she took her lunch in hand, crossed her legs, and leaned forward.

I laughed at her and carefully considered the best way to answer her questions without giving away too much. "He and I were together for two years in college. We broke up and he transferred schools. It was messy, and I don't want to rehash it, but during that time, Jake came along.

"Edward wrote a book we were interested in publishing, and that was how we got back together. We both admitted just because we'd been apart for several years didn't mean we'd gotten over each other, so we we're giving it another try.

"When this thing with Alice happened, he was there and he's been a huge source of support and comfort to me. We're trying to work things out between us, and he gets along famously with Jake, which is a Godsend. That's as much as I'm giving you, and if I hear this circling the grapevine, you're fired," I taunted.

"_Oh, please!_ The other employees hate Irina and me because we refuse to give up information on you and Rosalie. Rina and I chat discreetly between ourselves so we can give each other a head's up if trouble's brewing, but you know nobody keeps your private life more private than me. Most of the people on the other floors don't even know you have a son, and those of us on this floor don't discuss what happens up here.

"Besides, you're not the only one floating on Cloud Nine around here. Irina and I met guys last Wednesday when we went to happy hour. We're both in love, having had wonderful weekends, so there," she stated, sticking her tongue out at me for emphasis.

"I know. I'm just teasing you. So, who's the mystery man with whom I have to share you?" I asked. It wasn't like me to sit and swap stories with Lauren, but she'd worked for me since Rose and I opened the Seattle office, and she'd proven her loyalty many times.

"His name is Tyler. He's an attorney. He's about your age, and he went to UDub for his undergraduate." For the next fifteen minutes, she extolled the wonderfulness of Tyler, and when she finished, I was laughing my ass off.

"What?" she asked with a look of worry.

I wiped my mouth and took a drink of water. "Is his last name Crowley?"

She looked surprised. "Yes, do you know him?"

"I believe he was my roommate my freshman year of college. We weren't close because I had Edward, but he was a decent guy. Ask him if he remembers me. I'm sure he'll have some colorful stories to tell you about walking in on us in my dorm room and seeing mine or Edward's naked…uh, yeah, I'm sure he'll remember us," I explained with a laugh.

I expected her to laugh with me, but she had a serious look on her face. "Jasper, I didn't tell him who I work for. I'd never…I'll stop seeing him. I mean I just met him and if he knew you…"

"Oh, hush. That doesn't bother me at all, and don't you dare give up a guy you really like over me. What kind of law does he practice and is he good at it?" I asked.

"Family law. He's up for partner next year, and he'll be one of the youngest partners at his firm, so I'd guess he's very good at it," she responded. _Family law? That was exactly what the hell I wanted to hear._

"Can you get me an appointment with him? Explain to him who I am…I mean, his old roommate, not anyone super famous or anything. Ask him if he handles custody cases," I told her. She looked worried, but I didn't expound on the problem.

"Sure, yes, of course. ASAP or first opening you have in your schedule?" she asked apprehensively.

"First opening _he_ has in _his_ schedule. I also need reservations to New York for next weekend. Red-eye on Friday night with an afternoon flight on Sunday. Also, get me a hotel. I won't be staying with my parents," I requested.

"Okay, um, just you?"

"No, Edward Masen and me. First class on my personal credit card. I need to see Tyler before I go, so juggle my schedule however necessary so I can make that appointment, please."

She nodded as she picked up our empty containers and the silverware. "If you need anything, Jasper, you know you only have to ask. Call me anytime," she offered.

"Thank you, Lauren. I need to make a few calls and I have back-to-back meetings, so take off when you want. I'll see ya tomorrow," I told her. She nodded and left the room, pulling the door behind her.

I pulled the call sheet and called Jason Jenks, Alice's attorney, regarding her will. I wasn't surprised when he made me aware a petition for custody had come up when he ran Alice's name through some legal database. I told him I was aware and thanked him for his assistance. He promised to have fifteen copies of Alice's death certificate couriered over to me as soon as he received them, and we hung up.

My second call was to Peter to catch up and ask if he and Char would be up for taking Jake for the weekend. I explained why to him, and he said they'd be more than happy to pick him up Friday afternoon. Charlotte had Friday's off, and he assured me he'd have to tie her down to keep her from being at my house at the crack of dawn. I thanked him and made the third call on my agenda for that day. Billy.

##

I walked into a bar which wasn't unfamiliar to me…not many in Seattle were. I saw the old bartender, Henry, smile when he recognized me. "Jasper, it's good to see you, but what the hell are ya doin' here, son?"

I smiled at him. "Can I get a glass of iced tea with lemon?" I asked as I walked down the bar to where Billy sat with a glass of whiskey in front of him.

"Billy, how long have you been talkin' to that glass?" I asked quietly.

His head whipped around, and he smiled a little. "I was sittin' here for an hour before you called. It's remindin' me how disappointed my Sarah would be if I drank it. What brings ya here?"

Henry set the tea in front of me with a bowl of sugar packets. He looked at Billy with concern in his eyes, and I winked at him.

"I needed to talk to a good friend about what's goin' on in my life lately. My son's mother committed suicide, so it's been a rough few weeks. I asked a good friend to get me a bottle because I thought it would be the easiest way to handle it. He said he'd get me one and get one of his own and we could just drink ourselves to death, reminding me if we didn't die of alcohol poisoning, which I've tried to do in the past, when we woke up hung-over as hell, it wouldn't bring Alice back to life. If you drink that whiskey, will it bring Sarah back?"

"I say this with the utmost respect. Go fuck yourself, kid. I'm sick of bein' alone. I'm sick of havin' two daughters who don't give a good god damn about me, and I'm sick of wakin' up every mornin' without my wife. At least, if I have Jack to keep me company, I don't give a shit," he answered.

"Point taken, but what makes you think your daughters don't give a shit?" I didn't know he had daughters.

"Mostly my fault. When they were young, I was a drunk. I wasn't a nice drunk, either. One of my daughter's lives in Hawaii and didn't even come for her momma's funeral because I'd be there. Wants nothin' to do with me. The other one actually lives with me and she and the slug she's married to are just waitin' on me to die. I guess I decided to give God a hand," he answered, staring at the glass.

"I know what you mean about being a drunk with young kids. My son is only eight, and I'm pretty sure he's going to have some shitty memories of me from when he was little. I tried not to drink when he was around, but that didn't always work out. Hey, I've got a good idea. Why don't you have Henry hang onto _that_ and you come home with me for dinner? My boyfriend's cooking and he's a hell of a cook," I volunteered. I hadn't told him I was gay, and I waited for a reaction.

He turned to me and smiled. "My daughter, Rebecca, her girlfriend is in the Navy. That's what she's doin' in Hawaii. I actually hear from her girlfriend once a week. I don't think Becca knows she calls me because she calls from base. Eh, what the hell. Let's go."

I turned to Henry. "How much I owe ya?"

Henry smiled. "Not a damn dime. You ever wanna talk? Come in and I'll have my Eden make ya some of her lemonade. I've been sober for fifteen years, and I find when things get tough, I sit down with a friend and a glass of lemonade and talk things out. It all gets better, and hell, I don't miss the headache the next mornin'.

"Jasper, it's good to see you lookin' well, son. Same goes for you, Billy. You need an ear and a glass of lemonade? I've got a picnic table out back under a little carport. Ask anyone. I can talk till the cows come home."

We thanked him and I tossed a ten on the bar for my iced tea and his kind words. Billy followed me home, and when I opened the door, I wasn't surprised by the smells coming from inside. It smelled like a home full of love.

\\\

_**E/N: I think I left you at a good spot. When we get back to it after Christmas, we'll pick up with the rest of this night, which is a chapter I love. We're getting to the throw down with JR and Lilly, so stick around.**_

_**Thank you all for reading. I hope you're all safe and happy during the holiday season.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I'm home and had a lovely holiday…though I'm glad it's behind me : ) Hope you all have a healthy, happy, prosperous New Year.**_

_**Let's get to it…a nice long chapter for you.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

_Last time…_

"_Jasper, it's good to see you lookin' well, son. Same goes for you, Billy. You need an ear and a glass of lemonade? I've got a picnic table out back under a little carport. Ask anyone. I can talk till the cows come home."_

_We thanked him and I tossed a ten on the bar for my iced tea and his kind words. Billy followed me home, and when I opened the door, I wasn't surprised by the smells coming from inside. It smelled like a home full of love._

_\\\_

21. Redefining Family

##

EDWARD

"Mrs. Call, it was very nice of you to meet us today. Jake needs things to keep him busy and he was very excited when I told him we'd changed plans to come here. Maybe we can get together again soon?" I asked.

She was a delightful woman, and when I introduced myself to her, she confessed she was a big fan of my books. She and I sat for two hours discussing how I came up with the different mysteries, and I wasn't annoyed for a minute. She was a literature professor at a community college, so her questions were quite insightful. She didn't flinch when Jake told her I was his dad's boyfriend, which gave me a lot of relief.

"Please call me Julia. Maybe next time I can bring my books and you'll sign them? I'll even make you boys lunch sometime if you're up for it. A few of my friends are huge fans and they have kids, so we could have a little lunch party/book discussion while the boys swim. What do you think?" she asked as she waited for her son to buckle himself into the back seat of her Lexus.

I laughed. "Sounds like a good idea, Julia. Maybe you ladies can give me inspiration for my last book. You've got my cell, so give me a call. Jake has soccer camp next week, but the week after that is a down week before computer camp."

"Oh, what computer camp? I've been trying to find one for Embry and everything is filled up," she complained.

"Let me make a call and see if they have any openings. It's a friend of my publisher and the woman made an exception for Jake. I'll see if she'll make another and I'll call you," I offered.

"Oh, thank you. I can see Jake and Jasper are in very capable hands," she offered as she closed the door and extended her hand. I shook it, and then Jake and I walked to my Volvo. I opened the back door and Jake climbed in, buckling his seatbelt.

I got in and looked in the rearview mirror, seeing a smile. "Did you have fun, Bud?" I asked as I started the car.

"Yep. Embry told me Vanessa missed me at school. He said they made cards for me in class," Jake announced.

I chuckled. "Let's run by school and pick up your things." He nodded, and after we stopped to pick up a box with his school stuff, we went home…or to Jasper's house.

I let us in with the key Jasper had left for me, and Jake headed to the kitchen table with the box. He began working through its contents as I pulled out a rump roast, trimming off the fat. I placed it in a large skillet to sear with onions and garlic as Jake continued to peruse the cards from his class.

"What do the cards say?" I asked. I was a little worried about them because I barely knew what to say when someone lost a loved one. I couldn't imagine how his classmates would react. The smile on his face told me I had nothing to worry about.

"They all say they're thinking of me. They drew pictures and stuff. Oh, here's Nessa's." I turned to look at him as the meat seared in the pan.

"So?" I asked as I turned the roast and stirred the onions.

"She asked me to be e-mail pals over the summer. Do you think Dad will let me? I don't have an e-mail, but she's goin' to visit her grandma and grandpa out of town. She wants us to e-mail. What would I say?" he asked. He looked worried.

I turned the roast again and pulled out a roasting pan, placing it on the stove top. I began chopping carrots, celery, and potatoes, sprinkling them in the pan with a bit of olive oil. After the roast, onions and garlic were inside I added beef broth and red wine. I knew the alcohol would cook off, so I wasn't worried.

I shoved the covered pan into the oven and sat down with Jake. "I think if we talk to your dad about it, he might allow you to e-mail her but it's up to him. He's your dad, so he has the last say, but we'll talk to him over dinner, okay?"

The boy was so sweet, I would give him anything. Unfortunately, I had to remember he wasn't mine for whom to make decisions. He was Jasper's son, and it was always Jasper's decision.

I'd never thought about having a child. I'd never thought about children as anything other than an encumbrance to my lifestyle, but I was beginning to see how very wrong I'd been. Children were truly a gift from God. I had never understood it before, and maybe it was the circumstances under which Jacob and Jasper found themselves which drove home the point, but in that moment, I realized something I'd never realized before.

If one could look at the world through the eyes of a child, it was all bright and shiny. The world was full of possibilities. Every day was a new adventure for a child, and as an adult, I'd forgotten it. Jacob was the reminder for me, and I didn't want him to lose that wonderment he brought to every situation. I also didn't want to lose him in my life, and I damn well didn't want to lose Jasper.

"Hey, you wanna go kick the soccer ball around, or maybe play catch? Your dad said you got a new glove. How about we break it in?" I asked, remembering my dad. We used to kick the soccer ball in the yard when he had time. I played in grade and high school, and Dad attended as many games as possible. We played catch when we had things to talk about, and they were happy memories for me.

"_Really?_ Sure. I'll be back," Jake announced gleefully before he took off. He ran back to his room and I went to Jasper's closet to find a pair of sneakers. We wore the same size in college, and I was sure they'd still fit. I sat down on the floor to lace them, and something caught my eye. A _Nike _shoe box I remembered from years ago.

It was wrong to do it, but I opened it and looked inside. As I moved through the contents, the memories were so fucking overwhelming the tears immediately welled in my eyes. It was like a time capsule of our time together in college and he'd kept everything, including two pair of my boxers.

I picked up a champagne cork from the little anniversary party we had for ourselves after we moved into our apartment. Jasper had actually carved the date into it. _September 2_. I remembered coming back from picking up my books and finding a sight that shocked me more than nearly anything in my life at the time.

_I opened the door to our apartment, pissed off at the amount of money I'd had to spend for books. The used book section offered none of the books I needed, so everything was new and still in the shrink wrap. Nothing except the damn ream of paper I'd picked up for my printer was under a hundred bucks._

_The blinds were closed on the patio door, and the apartment was bathed in candlelight. There were vases of my favorite flowers…Gerbera daisies…everywhere. I heard a sound behind me so I turned to see Jasper standing in a pair of slacks, a button-down shirt, and a huge smile on his face. He had a bottle of champagne in one hand and two glasses in the other._

"_Happy Anniversary, darlin'," he offered to me. He placed the glasses on the table and popped the cork, shooting it into the ceiling. We both laughed when it hit me on the head as it fell to the floor. We continued to laugh as we both saw the crack in the popcorn finish of the cheap ceiling._

"_Wow, how smooth am I?" he joked as he poured us each a glass. He placed the bottle on the coffee table and handed me a glass, picking up one of his own. _

_He lifted his glass in toast. "Here's to the most amazing man I've ever met. Here's to being lucky enough to find the love of my life at the ripe old age of twenty. Here's to celebrating this day for the rest of our lives," he offered. We touched glasses and drank, both of us coughing at the taste of it. It was God awful, and we quickly figured out the guy Jasper had bribed to buy it had pocketed most of the money and bought the cheapest shit he could find._

_We didn't really care, but we didn't drink it because it tasted like dishwater. We dumped the rest of it down the sink and filled the bottle with water, shoving a few daisies into it and carrying them to the bedroom where Jasper made love to me and we talked about how our life would be when we were old. _

I sat there basking in the memory before I came back to myself. I threw the cork into the box and closed it, sliding it back into its seclusion.

"What are you doin' in the closet?" Jake asked as I continued lacing up the sneakers.

My head snapped up and I looked at him as he stood there taking in my predicament. It was actually funny so I laughed. _In the closet!_ _How apropos! _

I stood and walked out. "Bud, I'm not in the closet anymore, and I'll explain it to you someday. I've got some things I want to talk to you about. How about a game of catch?" I asked.

He nodded, and we went outside with a baseball, a baseball glove, and a lot of conversation about me being in his and Jasper's lives. I explained to him I would never do anything to hurt his father and I wanted to be Jake's friend if he'd let me. I explained to him how I'd always be available if he wanted to talk about anything or if he had any concerns. I explained to him all he had to do was tell me if he wanted to spend time alone with his dad and I'd make myself scarce.

It was a position I never thought I'd be in, explaining myself to an eight-year old, but at the end of it, we both had a better understanding of where we stood…he was supportive of my relationship with Jasper, and I was so fucking happy I couldn't believe my own damn luck. Life was full of surprises.

##

I went inside to have a bathroom break and grab us a couple of waters. Jake was tossing the ball against the net Jasper had for him in the back yard, and when my phone chimed, I pulled it from my pocket, expecting it to be Jasper. It wasn't. It was Uncle Carlisle.

_Call me when you can talk. UC_

I checked Jake to see he was fine, and I dialed the number to Uncle Carlisle's cell. "Edward? How are you, son?" he asked immediately. I heard a door close, which meant he was in privacy and could talk.

"Good. I know this violates laws and things, but did you find out anything?" I really needed answers because it was driving me insane. I'd been too caught up in helping my boys get into a routine, so I'd left the detective work to Uncle Carlisle.

Even with Jacob's sessions with the therapist, he still had nightmares and would breakdown, either in a temper fit or hysterical tears. No one expected anything less from him because the boy was suffering a loss few could imagine. Unfortunately, I could imagine it, so I agreed with the therapist. Hug him. Let him know we all love him and we're not going anywhere. Sometimes it worked, but sometimes it didn't.

"Okay, first, I spoke with Gretchen Turnbull who specializes in genetics, specifically, disorders passed down through DNA. She couldn't make a diagnosis because she doesn't have all the facts, so she gave me a case scenario that's only a hypothesis, son. Based on the information I could share with her, Jake should be fine. As you told me, Alice's parents confirmed her symptoms started when she was young. To date, Jake hasn't presented with any issues, so I'd say the best advice is to continue with his therapist to help him deal with his grief and continue to love him. If anything remarkable occurs, then pursue it at the time, but don't jump the gun if it's not warranted.

"I was able to get in touch with the coroner in King County through a friend of mine. They performed an autopsy on Alice as a matter of course so as to document a cause of death and definitely rule out foul play before they released the body to the mortuary.

"There were narcotics…a lot of them…in her system which could have led her to commit a violent act against her person. There was also evidence of an inactive clot in the frontal lobe. The coroner was hesitant to say it could have affected her behavior, but he wouldn't rule it out either, based on the preliminary report I was given.

"Lastly, I spoke with two of the physicians she was seeing. Alice was doing something called "drug surfing." In her instance, it's believed she was searching for the magic pill, so she engaged a number of doctors, feeding them different symptoms in order to try new psychotropic meds in hopes of one being the right drug. That's as much of a picture as I can assemble, and its more speculation than fact, son. I'm sorry that's all I have, but I hope it'll be of some comfort to Jasper, should you decide to share it."

I thanked him for his help before I disconnected the call. I wasn't sure if or when I'd share the information with Jasper because I felt a selfish sense of relief I hadn't caused that woman to carve up her arms and sit in a hot tub of bathwater as a means of avoiding her life. It was awful of me, but as I was reminded on more than one occasion, humans were a selfish species, by nature.

##

"Edward? Jake?" Jasper called from the front door.

"Remember? Not a word," I whispered to Jake who was standing next to me tearing lettuce for a salad as we made dinner together. Some of the things we discussed were things I wasn't ready to share with Jasper, so I'd sworn Jake to secrecy. I needed the boy's feelings on certain matters because if he wasn't on board with my plans, I wasn't going to pursue them. Jacob had suffered enough in his young life, and I wasn't about to cause him anymore pain. I promised him once he offered his opinions, I wouldn't ask him to keep the secrets forever. He actually made me spit-swear. I was grateful he didn't want to be blood brothers.

"Kitchen, love," I responded. Jake giggled at me. The kid was going to embarrass me at every avenue, I was sure. I welcomed it, actually, because maybe he had something else to concentrate on beside the tragedies he'd experienced. That was my hope and prayer.

When Jasper walked in, I heard another set of footsteps behind him. I was slicing tomatoes, and when I turned to him, I saw a man behind him looking a bit sheepish.

"Something smells good. Jake, Edward, this is my friend, Billy. I invited him for dinner. I know how you cook, and I was sure there was more than enough," Jasper told me as he looked into my eyes. I didn't know who the man was, but apparently, it was important for him to be here, so I wasn't going to say anything to the contrary.

I wiped my hands on a dishtowel and walked toward the man. "Edward Masen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Billy Black. You must be Jake," he observed as he turned to the counter, seeing Jake's sheepish smile.

Jacob wiped his hands on his shorts and walked over to stand next to me. He looked up, and I smiled. "Introduce yourself. Oh, dry your hands, and not on your shorts, son," I instructed as I handed him the towel.

He did as I instructed and turned to the man, sticking out his hand. "Jacob Brandon Whitlock, sir."

The older man laughed and shook his hand. "Well, I don't think I've ever met a more well-mannered young man in all my days. It's a pleasure, Jacob," Billy offered as he released Jacob's hand.

I reached into the cabinet and handed Jake another place setting, motioning toward the table. "I hope you like pot roast. It's Jasper's favorite," I offered.

"Young man, you could serve me a can of beans and I'd be happy. It's nice to have some company for dinner. Is there anything I can do?" he asked with a smile.

Just then, the timer went off and I went to the oven to pull out Aunt Esme's parmesan biscuits. I placed them on top of the stove and turned to Jasper. He winked at me.

"Billy, what can I get ya to drink? We always have sweet tea and coffee. There's soda and milk. It's whatever you'd like," he offered.

Suddenly, I was aware of the half bottle of red wine was sitting on the counter and I felt horribly guilty. I moved toward it to pour the rest of it out when Jasper grabbed my hand and took the bottle. He smiled at me and reached into the cabinet, pulling down a red wine glass.

"_Don't you dare pour that out!_ You'll break both our hearts if you waste a lovely _Cabernet_. You can have a glass of wine, babe. We're fine," he instructed as he turned to Billy who was laughing.

"It's not contagious, son. I'd love a glass of sweet tea. It reminds me of my Sarah. So, Jacob, how old are ya?" Billy asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I turned eight in February," Jake responded before he turned to Jasper with a mischievous smile on his face. "So, Dad, we went to an indoor playground today, and _somebody_ got stuck in the tube," he teased as he looked at me. It wasn't one of my finer moments, and that little shit was going to torment me.

"Oh _really?_" Jasper taunted looking at me as we sat down for dinner. I served everyone, appreciating the "thank-you's" as we dug in.

"Hey! That was supposed to stay between us," I responded trying to keep from laughing as I remembered Jake rolling on the floor while I shimmied out of the tube. I should have never agreed to go into it, but he teased I was too much of a wuss to do it, so I had to prove a point, unsuccessfully.

Jake swallowed his food and looked at me. "Sorry, Pop, but I can only keep _so_ _many_ secrets."

He suddenly had a look on his face of fear. Jasper wasn't exactly paying attention, so I played it off. "Yeah, well, I'm just surprised you didn't get Mrs. Call to take video of it. Eat."

I turned to my man because I was sure he had a smartass comment, but he was looking at Jake with a smile on his face. I had no idea what it meant, so I decided to change the subject. "So, Billy, do you, uh…" I truly had no idea what to ask the man.

Thankfully, Jasper piped up. "Billy recently lost his wife. We had a meeting this afternoon, and I thought he might like to meet my family. I knew you wouldn't mind, babe. At the time, I had no idea you were makin' my favorite, so it was a good day to bring Billy home."

"Well, Jake and I made it together. We played catch this afternoon after we got home from the play date. You had fun with Embry, right?" I asked as I turned to Jake seeing him gobbling up his food. I was quite happy he was enjoying it.

"We had a good time. I think Mrs. Call _loves_ you," Jake teased.

"Oh, so he has an admirer?" Jasper responded with a wink at me.

"I don't know what that means, but Embry's mom liked him and she asked him if he wanted to come over for lunch," Jake announced with a sly smile.

I wanted to fall through the fucking floor. I turned to see Billy laughing as he sipped his tea. I took a gulp of my wine, wishing I was invisible before I recovered a bit. "I guess we'll be spending tomorrow at the _library_ since it's going to rain again," I threatened Jake.

"Aw, Pop, I was just teasin'," Jake replied. I reached over and ruffled his hair letting him know I wasn't really mad.

I turned to Billy who'd been quiet. "So, have you always lived in Seattle?"

He swallowed his food and looked up at me. "I've lived in the area for a long time. My wife was a school teacher, and I'm a historian. I'm Quileute, and I worked as a trail guide for years. I tell tribal stories and…" he continued.

I was stuck on the part where he was _Quileute_. I had a huge fear he might know Jared Stone's family, since Stone had intimated he had family in the area, and I could see Jasper was thinking the same thing.

"How, um, how long have you lived in the area?" Jasper asked.

"Oh, Sarah and I lived on a reservation for years. She taught at the school there, and when she got sick, we decided to move to Seattle so she could be close to her doctors. I took a job at a store here specializing in Native American folklore and artifacts. I tell the old stories a few days a week while folks shop for handmade crafts. I haven't been there for a while…since my Sarah died. Maybe I should go back tomorrow?" Billy explained with a contemplative look.

"I love stories. What kind of stories?" Jake asked, nonplussed by the adult conversation or the tension that had developed.

"Oh, I've got a lot of stories," Billy offered as we finished dinner.

Jasper and I began clearing the table after he suggested Jake and Billy go to the living room. Once we were alone, I turned to him and kissed him. "I missed you, love."

He was distracted, and I knew why. "Jasper, look at me. There's no connection. We know _nothing_ about any connection to anyone of Quileute descent."

He nodded and kissed me back, easing my mind. We cleaned up the dishes and went to the living room, hearing the end of a story about the tribe descending from someone named _Taha Aki_, who had the ability to transform into a wolf.

Jake was transfixed, and I could see Jasper was still worried, so I took his hand and sat down on the couch next to him.

"So there was a bird big enough to carry a whale in its claws?" Jake asked, clearly referring to a story we'd missed.

"Thunderbird. Yes, it's part of our legends. You have to understand, Jacob, these are stories we pass down through generations, and people add and take away from them over the years. I'm not saying they're not true, but I'm not saying they'll be found in history books at your school.

"When you read a storybook, you know the story is someone else's idea, right? Well that's kind of like these legends. They're stories passed down through the tribe over time." I saw Jasper smiling as Billy explained things a bit more for Jake.

Of course, Jacob took it in stride, just like everything else. "Yeah, but they're cool. Dad and I read the LOTR books, and they're not real, but they're cool. I'd like to hear more stories, Mr. Billy. Will you come back?" Jake asked.

Billy looked at us and Jasper chuckled. "Of course, he will. I'm sure he has a lot of stories, Jake, but it's time for you to shower and get ready for bed. I'd bet Edward has a full day planned for the two of you tomorrow. Tell Mr. Billy good-night." After hugs, which the man seemed to appreciate very much, Jasper ushered Jake down the hall to shower and change for bed.

That left me with the man, Billy. "Would you like a cup of coffee? I'm sorry I didn't make a dessert, but Jake and I were busy today."

In a low voice, Billy asked, "Was his mother native? The native blood is there."

I gulped. "Um, I think she was part Cherokee or maybe Sioux. She was from Mississippi, so I'm not sure. I didn't know her very well," I responded, not looking him in the eye.

"Hmm. Well that just goes to show you. He looks like someone I can't place, but hell, what do I know? I'll pass on the coffee, but maybe I can call in a rain check sometime? I like you boys, and Jake's…well, he's a fine young man. I'm going home. Tell Jasper I truly appreciate what he did, and I'll call him later in the week. He saved me today, and I'm grateful he did. It had to be hard for him to walk into that bar to talk with me but he didn't hesitate. If he hadn't, well, I'd likely be under it by now.

"You're a really nice guy, Edward, and you seem to be a good companion for Jasper. I'm happy to see it. It's always nice to see two people in love. Take care, son," he told me as he headed toward the door. I walked with him and extended my hand to shake. He was a soulful man, and he seemed to have the ability to offer a sense of peace into the balance of our home…Jasper's home.

"Mr. Black, I enjoyed meeting you. I hope we have the pleasure of your company in the near future. Be safe," I offered as I shook his hand. He nodded and left.

I closed and locked the door, heading into the kitchen. I was about to dump the rest of the wine down the sink, sorry I'd brought it into the house in the first place, when I felt Jasper's arms around me. "Don't do it. I'm fine, Edward. Leave it for the next time you make us such a great dinner, okay? It's fine. Babe, if I was gonna drink, I'd have done it in that bar today. I wasn't even tempted, so please don't discount my control," he asked sincerely. There was a calm confidence in his voice, so I recorked the bottle and placed it in a cabinet, turning to look into his gorgeous blue eyes.

"I wasn't…I just didn't want to…I'm sorry. Next time, I'll use something else for the roast beef," I told him.

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me gently, quickly tilting his head and deepening the kiss. His tongue swirled with mine, and it was amazing. He ground his hardness against mine, and I couldn't catch my breath. God, I wanted him so much.

I pulled away, leaving light kisses on his lips. "Love, I should go. I need to go home, get the mail, and do some laundry. I have my own home, you know," I reminded.

He took a deep breath. "You and I both know your apartment is a _house_. _This_ is your home, Edward. This place right here with Jake and me. _This is your home. _Move in with us. Live here with us. Make your life with us. I love you, and I've never stopped. Make a _life_ with us," he implored.

I couldn't breathe. It wasn't anything I expected to hear from him, and I was completely still, not knowing what to say or do at all.

I finally gathered my senses and…blathered. "Jasper, you're going through a tough time right now, and I don't think this is a decision to be made in haste. I love you. God, how I love you, but we need time. We need time, _right_?" I asked because I really didn't fucking know.

"_You_ need time, and that's fine. I don't need another day, Edward. Thank you for dinner and I'll talk to you in the morning. I truly appreciate how you welcomed Billy into…._here_. I'll try not to bring strays _here_ in the future." He leaned forward and kissed me, walking down the hallway and closing the door to his bedroom.

I heard the shower turn on, so I turned off the lights and locked the door behind me, driving back to my apartment. I was a little stunned at his acceptance of my departure, but I needed the time to think.

##

I grabbed my mail and sat down on the couch as I sorted through it. Most of it was junk, but there were a few bills I'd forgotten about, tossing them on the coffee table.

I went to my laundry hamper to toss in a load, finding it empty. That was when I remembered my dirty clothes were at Jasper's house. I'd carelessly tossed them in his hamper when we'd changed, and it hadn't even occurred to me I'd left them.

I hit the button on my answering machine hearing a lot of bullshit solicitation calls, and then one from my agent, Angela.

"_Edward, it's me, Angela. Stop avoiding me and let me know if this thing with Thorn is a possibility. I haven't heard from you in weeks. Call me."_

I made a note on the pad in front of me as I continued to sort through the mail. I stopped cold when I saw an envelope addressed to me with Alice Brandon's return address. I wasn't sure if I should open it or burn the fucking thing. After everything we didn't know, I knew I had to open it and see what she'd written.

I saw the postmark was the day before her phone call to tell me she was leaving, so I opened it, trying to find my nerve to read it. I read the words on the page, praying it wasn't yet another revelation.

_Dear Mr. Masen,_

_I realize this isn't going to be well received, but by now, I've left with Jacob. Jasper is probably hurt, and I'm sorry about that, but I've considered the ramifications and I believe Jake needs to know his __**real **__father, so we're going to be with him._

_I know I lied to you when I told you I didn't know who he was, but I didn't see the need to tell you. You won't care about my son, and Jasper only ever loved you. He'll get over us leaving, but stick around for him. Don't let him drink. You're the reason he started in the first place, so you owe it to him to not give him a reason to start again now._

_He loves you and not me, but Jake's dad cares about me, and he'll take care of us. We don't need Jasper anymore. I can't tell him that, but you understand how it is to be left behind, don't you? After all, that's what Jasper did to you when he fucked me._

_Best of luck in your future,_

_Alice Brandon_

I was stunned. I was every other fucking synonym that would describe stunned. The letter in no way sounded like the young woman with whom I'd spoken the day she took her life, and I didn't understand. I was so fucking confused, I sat on the barstool in my kitchen for a long time, reading the letter over and over, trying my damnedest to understand it.

After a time, I placed it on the counter and continued to leaf through the stack of mail to sort it. When I came across another letter from Alice Brandon, postmarked the day after she'd taken her life which meant she'd put it in a mailbox after the last collection but before she did what she did, I prepared myself to open it against my better judgment.

I went to the liquor cabinet and poured myself a drink. I wasn't sure if I'd take it or not, but I was bracing myself for whatever she had to say. She hated me, evidently, as much as I hated her, and if it was her last stab at me, I needed a little liquid courage to get through it.

I sat down at the counter with the glass in front of me, and I opened the envelope.

_Dear Mr. Masen,_

_I understand after my last letter, you might not read this, but I have high hopes. I should explain myself, I guess._

_I loved Jasper the first minute I met him. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was the way I felt. When I found out it wasn't a possibility, I tried to move on._

_I actually thought I had found love with Jake's father, but that obviously wasn't meant to be either, as I just found out today. _

_I can't…I don't know how to function in the world any longer, so I'm going to end my suffering. It's a selfish and cowardly act, but I can't take it any longer. _

_Do me a huge favor. Take care of Jasper and Jacob. I could see when we met you still love Jasper, and I'm sure you're a good soul, so I'm trusting you with my family._

_Please know, I love them, but I just can't…I can't. _

_Make sure they know I love them…especially Jake._

_Alice_

I grabbed the shot glass and took it down in one gulp. _Why the fuck did she do this to me? Why would she set me up like this?_

I couldn't understand her letters at all because they were total opposites. One was full of venom and hate, and the other was a plea to take care of her family_. What had happened in those days when she wrote the letters?_

I placed it next to the other letter and poured myself another shot. Just as I was about to take it down, my phone chimed. I put down the glass and picked up the phone, seeing it was from Jasper.

_My bed is empty and lonely without you. I miss you. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. Love you. J_

After a few minutes of contemplation, I went to the sink and dumped the shot down it, rinsing out the glass and placing it into the dishwasher. I walked back to my bedroom to pull out a very large suitcase with a matching smaller one, and I packed everything I thought I'd need over an extended period of time. I'd figure the rest of it out later.

After I'd unplugged everything that didn't need to be plugged in, I went down to the garage, pulling the suitcase behind me. I'd figure out what to do with the _Aston_ later, but I needed to get home. It was my one thought and all I could consider in the moment.

I drove back to Jasper's house and let myself in as quietly as possible. When I got to the bedroom, I tilted my suitcases in the corner and walked over to the bed, seeing him curled up a little. His face was drawn, and I didn't like it.

I went to the bathroom and swirled his alcohol-free mouthwash in my mouth to take away any trace of the events of the night. I took off my clothes and tossed them into the hamper which was nearly full, and I slipped into bed next to him.

I felt his body relax, and melt into mine, and I was so fucking happy I couldn't hold back the tears. "Love, I'm home. I want to be here with you and Jake. This is where I belong," I whispered.

It was definitely were I was meant to be, and as I held him and mirrored his breaths, I found peace. He was my peace, and I'd never let anyone get in the way of it ever again.

\\\

_**E/N: Lots of ground covered, but we're moving along. I'm so happy to be back. I've appreciated the love from you during this story, and I hope it doesn't stop.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till tomorrow…xoxo**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews of last night. I continue to be blown away. So happy you're embracing this Edward, Jasper, and Jake. I love writing them.**_

_**Let's get to it. SMeyer owns characters. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

22. _Dreams Come True_

##

JASPER

I felt warm arms around me and I knew it was the most incredible dream in the world. It wasn't the first one I'd ever had about Edward, but I welcomed them all. I burrowed into the warmth and took a deep breath, smelling heaven on my sheets.

"_Love, I'm home. I want to be here with you and Jake. This is where I belong." _

Once I figured out I was awake, I wanted to shoot off the bed in happiness, but I didn't dare move. I had everything I ever dreamed of behind me and there was no way I was going to fuck it up. I felt a warm, muscular arm snake over my body, and I didn't move. I didn't know what brought him back to us so quickly, but I wasn't about to question it. He was home. That was all that mattered.

A few hours later, I woke up with Jake standing next to the bed holding my phone out for me after poking me relentlessly until I opened my eyes. "What?" I asked, sleep still evident in my voice.

"It's Grandma Mary. Your phone was on the counter in the kitchen and it kept ringin'. She needs to talk to ya." With that, he shoved the phone at me and went back to his room, closing his door. I turned to see Edward still sleeping, so I got up from bed and went into the bathroom.

"Mary, what's wrong? It's awful early," I complained, having noticed it was just after six in the morning. I hoped to hell nothing had happened to Fred.

"I'm sorry, Jasper, but you know I can't keep track of the time difference. I got a letter in the mail from Alice. It was in the stack of mail the post office held for us while we were gone. I picked it up yesterday and just got around to sorting it last night. I'm extremely confused by what it says," she explained.

I was bracing myself. "What's it say, Mary?"

"_Dear Mom and Dad,_

_By the time you get this, I'll be overseas with Jake. I won't tell you where so you don't have to lie to Jasper. He's got someone in his life more important to him than us, so I'm going to pursue my own happiness for once in my damn life._

_I'll be in touch when things calm down, but know we're safe. I love you and Dad, but it's time for me to live my own life and have what everyone else seems to have. Don't worry about Jake, after he gets used to his dad, he'll be very happy._

_Take care of each other,_

_Alycat"_

"Jasper, what the hell is she talkin' about?" Mary asked.

I felt as if I'd throw up if I had anything in my stomach. "Mary, I have no idea what she was thinking those last few days of her life. I'm almost wondering if she went off her meds or doubled the dosage or something. Nothing makes sense, and there's really no way to find out the truth. She took it with her," I told her, not exactly truthfully.

"Hell, I just don't know what to make of any of this, Jasper. I've become used to her erratic behavior over the years, but this all has me…(sniff)…I just don't…" I could tell she was crying, and I wondered if she'd had her breakdown yet. I hadn't seen any sign of it while she was in Seattle, but I was sure it was the shock of everything and her inherent need to try to organize things to make it easier for Jake and I after she left town that held her together.

It was definitely her way to be the mother hen, and now she was home and reality was settling in for her, I was sure she was much more emotional. The letter from Alice wouldn't do anything to help her grieve productively, I was sure.

"Mary, where's Freddy?"

"Hang on, son." I heard her blow her nose, but she was back a minute later. "I'm sorry 'bout that. Freddy's at the store already. I'm takin' a few days off. Sort of a mental health break, ya know. Look, when I cleaned up Alice's place, I didn't really do much more than get rid of her clothes, clean out the fridge, clean up the dishes in the dishwasher, stuff like that. I didn't go rummage through her things because I felt if she wanted me to know things, she'd have told me herself.

"All her life, Alice has kept a diary. I found a box in the back of her closet after it was emptied, and I opened it, finding probably all her journals and notebooks. I didn't read them, but maybe you can get some answers in them. Also, she used to keep it between her mattress and box springs of her bed. I used to just ignore it when I'd change her bed, and I didn't look there when Esme and I were cleaning out her place, but if she was still keeping a journal, her most recent one would be there."

It was news to me, but then again, Alice and I didn't live together, and there really wasn't a reason for me to know she wrote in a diary. I was, however, going to find the fuck out.

"Have you decided on a date for the memorial? I'll make sure Jake can come, Mary. I've placed the urn for him in my closet because I think it might be a while before he's mature enough to understand it, but I want him to be there to support you and Freddy. I know it's going to be tough, and I know Jacob would want to be there to hold your hand," I explained.

Mary took a deep breath. "Well, after I saw the lovely gathering you had for Alice at your place, I decided to I'm going to wait a little while. I'm seriously not ready to let go of my little girl. I'm not planning anything until next year. I _do_ hope you, Jake, and Edward will visit sometime soon. I just fell in love with that man. He's so…well, he just _is_," Mary gushed. I could only smile because she was damn right…_he just was_.

We chatted for a few more minutes, and after we both shed a few tears, we hung up, promising to stay in touch and firm up a time for a visit soon. I opened the bathroom door to see Edward leaning against the headboard with a look of concern on his face. When he saw my appearance, he held out his hand to me in invitation. I didn't waste time, hurrying to the bed to climb in and let him hold me.

"Who was on the phone, love?" His voice was quiet as he held me to him.

"Mary. She had a letter in her mail. It was from Alice," I confessed just as quietly.

"God. What did it say?"

"It said she planned to take Jake overseas and she'd be out of touch for a while. I believe she was planning to go to Germany with Stone. Something obviously happened to change those plans. When we get this New York bullshit over with, I need to go over and search through Alice's house. Mary said she used to keep a diary. I'm hoping she still did up until she died," I explained.

He kissed the top of my head. "You have the only key to the house, so I don't think you need to rush anything. Let's table all talk of this until we get back. Monday is the holiday. Did you remember? Maybe after we get back from New York, we can pick up Jake and drive out to Aunt Es and Uncle Carlisle's? I'll drive us back home on Monday night, and you can sleep in the car."

That reminded me… "Sounds fun. So, uh, what brought ya back? Is that your big ass suitcase?" I asked as I looked into the corner of the room and saw what appeared to be a steamer trunk that wasn't there when I went to bed the night before.

He cracked up. "Yes, my southern boy, that's my _big ass_ suitcase. I was home for exactly an hour when I realized what you said about my place being a house and this being my home. You were right. Once it settled in my heart and mind, I couldn't be there another minute. I packed up my clothes and here I am. I hope you didn't change your mind."

I sat up and looked at him, my face in a huge smile. "You're a pretty smart guy if it only took ya an hour. We'll make room for your stuff. Welcome home, baby," I told him as I kissed him gently, deepening it to the point I pulled him down on the bed under me.

My hand moved down his body, settling on his hard cock through his pajama pants. I felt the outline of it, and suddenly, I wanted…needed…to feel him inside me. I pulled back as he began thrusting against my hand slightly. "I want you to make love to me before I go to work. I just need to feel you inside of me, Edward. Will you?"

He rose from the bed and hurried to the door, closing and locking it. He crossed the room to a small duffel in the corner and opened it, fumbling around for a minute before he turned and walked back to the bed with a new box of condoms in his hand and a fresh bottle of lube.

He opened it, pulling out a condom and depositing the rest in the nightstand on his side of the bed. He slipped off his pajama pants, showing me that beautiful, uncut cock. I hurriedly slipped off my boxers and tossed them on the floor, settling on the bed as he climbed back in.

"I love you, Jasper, and I'll give you anything you want or need." He opened the lube and put some on his fingers before he tossed the bottle down. He kissed me again as he moved between my spread legs. He grabbed his pillow and held it up, tapping his index finger against my entrance. "Lift up."

I did, allowing him to settle the pillow under my lower back and top of my hips, opening me up more to him. He leaned forward and kissed the head of my cock, sending my heart rate and my level of lust through the roof. "Fuck, Edward," I moaned.

He licked down my shaft to my balls, sucking first one then the other into his hot mouth, causing me to shudder with pleasure. When his tongue slipped behind my sack, I felt the pressure on my perineum, and then a swirl of his tongue around my entrance which nearly made me come at the contact.

"Relax, baby. I'm gonna make it good for you," he whispered against my flaming skin. I felt his index finger slip inside me gently as he moved back up to lick his way up my body, causing jolts of electricity to skitter all over my skin. By the time he'd worked his way back to my mouth, he had me ready.

I reached for the condom and ripped it open, handing it to him. I opened the lube and poured some in my hand, and once he was set, I pumped up and down his latex incased erection. I took my own cock in my slick hand and looked into those gorgeous green eyes. "Give it a go, darlin'." He laughed softly at my choice of phrasing, but he didn't hesitate to slip inside me, slowly continuing the forward drive until his balls were tickling my ass cheeks. The man had a cock worth paying homage, and it filled me up. Nothing else had ever come close.

He stalled and looked into my eyes. "I fucking love you, Jasper," he whispered. As he pulled back equally as slowly, he braced his hands on my knees and pushed my legs up toward my chest.

When he thrust into me with force, he hit my magic spot and I gasped, closing my eyes. "Fucking incredible." It truly was.

He began ramming harder into me, but he didn't pick up the pace. I'd been holding onto my cock just enjoying the feel of him moving inside me. He stopped and my eyes opened again. "There you are. Keep your eyes on mine, love. Wrap your legs around me and get ready to feel me. You'll be feeling me all day, and I want you to text me when you think about what we're doing here," he ordered.

_Fuck, the controller is in the house. Bring it baby. _I did as he said and wrapped my legs around his ass, digging my heels in to urge him to take me to heaven. He began thrusting harder and faster as he settled on his elbows by my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes.

He didn't look away, and it was the most intense experience I'd had to date. God, the man could fuck. The friction of his abs against my cock was becoming too much coupled with his heated gaze. Far too soon, I was shooting off between us, his mouth covering mine to stifle my shout.

"Fuck, your ass is…" he moaned as I felt him pulse inside me shortly after. He bent down to kiss me, and when he pulled away to looking into my eyes, he smiled. "Magic. Your ass is magic, love."

I moved his hair out of his eyes, feeling the dampness from the sweat he'd worked up. We were both sweaty, and the bed was going to need to be changed, but I didn't give a flying monkey's ass. It was amazing.

"So, you wanna take a shower with me?" I asked as he moved off of me and disposed of the condom in the trashcan on my side of the bed.

He looked at the clock and smiled. "I'd love to. Go shave and start the water, and I'll start the coffee. Meet 'cha there in a minute." He kissed the tip of my nose and climbed off me. He pulled on my boxers and walked to the door.

Before he opened it, he turned around and looked at me. "That smile is one I want to see every day for the rest of my fucking life." Without waiting for a response, he opened the door and strolled down the hallway in that sexy, confident way he had about him now. Gone was my shy, awkward boy from college. The man who'd taken his place…Lord help me. He was amazing.

##

I settled into my seat in first class for the red-eye to New York. Edward had asked for the window seat, and when I asked him why, his answer of "_I'm right handed_," didn't make sense, but I had too much on my mind to question him.

When the flight attendant came by, he eyed both of us and smiled. "Gentlemen, I'm Gale and I'll be taking care of you this evening. What can I bring you?"

"Two blankets and two bottles of water," Edward requested with a smirk. The guy walked away and came back with two fluffy blankets and two cold bottles of water. Edward took them and tossed out a 'thanks', dismissing the guy. We were in the last row of first class because he'd requested a seat change when we'd checked in. First class was mostly empty, so I wasn't sure why he wanted to sit in the last row, but I didn't ask.

"So, what did Tyler Crowley say this morning?" he asked as the coach passengers filed passed us, giving us dirty looks because we'd bothered to pay extra to sit in First Class. It could have been because he was holding my hand and looking into my eyes, but I didn't pay them any attention. Fuck the haters.

"After I gave him the details, he actually laughed and thanked me for giving him the opportunity to go against Marcus Randolph. Apparently, Mom and Dad went with a big gun. He's looking forward to humiliating the guy in court. I'm hoping to hell it doesn't get that far," I answered.

"Did you tell him _everything_?"

I sighed at his question because I'd been stewing on it all week. When push came to shove, and with Alice's history of mental illness, I'd decided to tell Tyler the truth, even down to showing him the letters she'd sent to her mother and Edward which were a surprise to me when he finally showed them to me. I could make no more sense of them than anyone else.

"I did. He's going to try to keep Stone's name out of all court records so it won't give the guy any entre into the fight, but he seems to believe once I give them my response, they'll see they have no case. I truly hope we can explain it to them and maybe get a late flight back tomorrow night instead of staying another night. God knows, I don't want to see them more than I have to," I complained.

"What did Rosalie say?" he asked.

I laughed. "She's pissed because I didn't tell her we were going before this morning. She told me to call her after we see them, and she bitched because I let Peter and Charlotte take Jake for the weekend. It just seemed like the best idea to me, ya know?" I asked.

"I know, babe. They seemed very excited when they picked him up, and Charlotte had a lot of plans. I think it's a good idea they took him." He was about to say something else when the flight attendant began giving the safety instructions. We fastened our seatbelts and gave the guy our attention. He was openly eye-fucking my boyfriend, and I was just about to get up and slap the piss out of him when Edward spread the blankets over us with a sexy smile on his face for me.

The plane began taxiing toward the runway, and I felt Edward grab my hand under the blanket, holding it with his and rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. When we were next in line for takeoff, the cabin lights dimmed and Gale took a seat. Edward reached into the front pocket of his carryon and sat back, clutching something in his hand.

He let go of my hand for a moment and as we sped down the runway, I felt him slip his hand into the waist of the tracks pants he insisted I wear for the flight. I'd walked out of the bedroom in jeans, and he sent me back with a bag to change. It was a pair of navy track pants with an elastic waist.

"_It's a long flight. We aren't seeing your parents until tomorrow morning. We should be comfortable, don't you think?"_

I couldn't argue with his logic at the time, and when his slick hand met my semi-hard cock, I decided my boyfriend was the smartest mother fucker on the planet. He stroked me twice and stopped, so I opened my eyes to look at him. He leaned over to whisper, "I've got another packet of lube, love." With that, he opened it with his teeth and his left hand, holding it out to me. He squeezed the contents into my left hand and shoved the trash into the seat pocket.

I slipped my hand into his matching track pants and proceeded to give the handsome, always-thinking, man a hand job, wishing the armrest wasn't between us so I could lean forward and suck that incredible cock down my throat instead.

As the plane climbed into the clouds, our level of desire climbed as well. His hand moving on me with his thumb sliding over the head would finish me off far too quickly, but I was enjoying it like I'd never enjoyed a hand job in my life. Maybe it was because we were in public, but I didn't give a shit. It was fucking amazing.

I manipulated the foreskin down so I could brush the head of his cock as he was stroking mine. I could hear the gentle moans I was bringing from him, and they were nearly as incredible as the feeling of his hand on me.

A twist of his wrist was my undoing. I shot off in his hand with a small gasp, my right hand reaching up to cover my mouth. I saw the flight attendant glance up to look at me, and I pretended I was stifling a yawn. I sped up my ministrations on Edward, and a minute later, I felt him erupt in my hand as he closed his eyes and bit the heel of his left hand to keep from making a sound.

After we caught our breath, I looked at him with a smile. "That was incredible, but we've each got a hand full of jizz and wet boxers."

He slowly withdrew his hand from my pants, as did I from his. He reached into his carryon and came out with a travel pack of wipes. I laughed as he handed me two, taking two for himself. After we cleaned up as well as we could, he leaned over to kiss me. "I have two pair of clean boxers in my carryon. When the seatbelt light goes off, go change, and then we can catch a nap."

He reached into the bag and pulled out two pairs of boxers, handing one to me. He took the other under the blanket on his side, and after some very covert moves, he handed me the damp pair he'd been wearing. A minute later, he settled into his seat, taking his dirty boxers from me and shoving them into the bag.

"You've clearly done this before," I whispered to him.

He laughed. "Not at all, but I definitely put some thought into it. You can't change like I did because you're on the outside, but the lav is just a few feet away. Get some sleep, love." With that, he pulled on the complimentary sleep mask and kicked back his seat.

When the fasten seatbelt sign went off, I tucked the boxers into my track pants and made my way to the lavatory. As I passed Gale in the crew galley, he smiled at me. "Well done, you lucky devil. Well, you're both lucky. Anything before you sleep?"

I laughed. "No, thank you." I quickly changed and made my way back to my seat, seeing the love of my life was out like a light. I rested my head on his shoulder, not bothering with the mask, and soon I was in a blissful, post-orgasmic sleep.

\\\

_**E/N: Next up…Meet the Fuckers…**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N: Hello! Thank you for your reviews from last night. I'm honored you take time out of your life to read my little tale and leave your thoughts. They were damn funny, too!**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**Let's get to it…**_

_**\\\**_

23. Meeting Beelzebub

##

EDWARD

I looked at the two of us as we rode in the backseat of the Town Car on the way to Jasper's parents' penthouse, and I laughed. He was holding my hand like it was a rope, and I was sure me laughing wasn't what he expected. He was scared as fuck, but I was ready to do battle.

"What, in the name of Moses, is so damn funny," Jasper asked, clutching the leather folio wherein he had the documents Tyler had given him to deliver in person.

"We look like we're fresh out of a '_Town and Country' _magazine photo shoot," I stated. He looked at what we were wearing, and he laughed.

We were both in flat-front chinos. Mine were tan with a chocolate-brown button-up, and his were navy with a blue and white, pin-striped, button-up. We were both wearing loafers, and we looked as if we were heading to a casual, upper-crust, cookout in the Hamptons.

"I see what you mean. Well, it'll be one less thing for them to bitch about. I'm hoping Mother's lunching and Father's out so I can get my bearings a bit before we ambush them."

"_Mother? Father?_ What happened to my sexy Texan?" I teased, trying to put him at ease. I wasn't in favor of not alerting them of our visit, but he decided the element of surprise was for the best. I deferred to his judgment, hoping it didn't bite him in the ass.

"I'll qualify my behavior up front. My parents despise their southern roots, and when I was growing up and spending summers with my grandparents in Texas, I'd get slapped for every consonant dropped when I got home. By now, it's engrained in my fucking DNA when I'm within arm's reach of either of them I use proper grammar," he articulated.

"I can pull out my _Chicaahgo_ if it'll take da heat off," I offered in my best Chicago accent. He laughed and leaned over, catching my lips with his in a tender kiss.

"You just be yourself, darlin'. I love ya. Just remember that," he drawled with a smile. I felt my dick take notice, so I concentrated on the scenery so as not to meet his parents for the first time sporting wood.

I thought back to our college days, and decided it was a blessing I'd never met his parents when we were together in college. I wasn't strong enough…physically or emotionally…to be able to defend myself back then, much less Jasper. If the meeting had to happen, I was thrilled it was happening when I had more confidence and a very good reason to protect Jasper and Jacob…I loved the two of them with all my heart.

When the car stopped in front of a large residential building, Jasper had a conversation with the driver and then took my hand, leading me through the lavish lobby. He pulled a key from his pocket and inserted it into the panel inside the elevator, turning it and pressing the button for the fiftieth floor.

When it stopped, he removed his key and pulled me behind him down the sparkling hallway to a large, ornate door. He rang the bell and turned to me. "Nothing that happens inside this apartment is going to have any impact on our family, right?"

I leaned forward and pecked his lips in support. I pulled away and smiled at him. "I'm right here with you."

The door opened, and a short, portly woman smiled. "Jasper! I didn't realize you were in town." He released my hand and hugged her.

"Hi, Maria. We have business in town, and we thought we'd stop by to see _them_. Are they here?" he asked as he pulled away from her.

"This isthe _second _surprise of the day. Come in, come in. Are you hungry? When did you get to town?" she asked as we followed her through the marble entryway and the ornate dining room into the kitchen.

Jasper jerked to a stop which caught my attention because I'd been taking in the grandeur of the place. Opulent didn't begin to touch it.

I looked up to see what had stirred him, only to see Emmett and Rosalie at the table with the paper and coffee. Emmett was in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, and Rosalie was dressed as if she was going to afternoon tea.

"What are you doin' here?" Jasper asked as we approached them. They both stood and hugged us.

"You seriously don't think I'd let you walk into the seventh circle of hell alone, do you?" she stated as if it was expected they'd show up.

"You didn't have to come," Jasper whined a little, but I could tell he was happy they were there.

"Hey, you didn't let us keep Jake, so we did the next best thing. We took a late flight out and got here this morning. The gruesome twosome should be home soon, according to Maria. You got your ducks in a row?" Emmett asked.

"Do they know…about Alice?" I whispered, not sure about Maria. I didn't know the woman and while she seemed to be devoted to Jasper and Rose, I wasn't sure she wasn't loyal to her employers. If Jasper was going for the element of surprise, I didn't want to give it away.

"Not as far as I know. I mean, unless they've hired a private detective to investigate shit, there's really no way they'd know, right?" Rosalie asked.

"Fuck, I hope you're right," Jasper whispered.

We all sat down to coffee and pastries, waiting for Jasper's parents to make a showing. The small talk was about _Thorn_ business and Emmett's work as a corporate counsel for an internet company. I knew the guy was a lawyer of some sort, but I'd never asked where.

"How's Jake doing? You guys are going out to Carlisle and Esme's when you get home?" Emmett asked me as Rosalie and Jasper had a heated discussion over some budgetary issues.

"Jake's doing okay. Not great all the time, but I think he's getting used to the new routine. He'll never get over the loss, trust me, but it will get easier to accept as time goes by. If this ends earlier than we'd anticipated, we'll get a flight out today and drive down to Forks tonight. I think him being with my family in the country will…" Before I could finish, we heard heavy footsteps on the marble floor in the entryway. I turned to the door to see a large man who looked like Jasper except he had more silver in his hair than blonde.

Rosalie slowly stood from her chair and walked over to the man. "JR. You're looking well," she told him, restraint evident in her voice as she hugged him without any emotion on her face.

When she pulled away, Emmett stood and walked over, extending his hand. "Sir." The man shook it, giving Emmett a disapproving look regarding his chosen attire.

He turned to look at Jasper and me, and I nearly swallowed my fucking tongue. The hate coming off of him was like walking into a smoke-filled room and trying to take a deep breath. I looked at Jasper, and I was proud of him for his stoic appearance. The slight shaking of his hand that rested by his side was the only clue how nervous he was in that moment.

"Father, it's good to see you looking so well," Jasper stated calmly as he extended his hand.

The man shook it and laughed. "Are you drinking again? Got the DTs?"

I was immediately pissed off. He was a mean fucker which was plainly evident by his comment. I rose from my seat and walked over, cockier than I'd ever been in my life. "Mr. Whitlock, I'm Edward Masen, Jasper's _lover_."

Yes, I'd said it to bait the douche. I could have said friend, boyfriend, partner…any of it would have been better than what I'd said because it brought sex to the forefront, and I wanted to make that fucker uncomfortable. I wasn't going to show fear in front of him. Jasper was mine, and I'd defend him at all costs.

"Jesus H. You had to bring home a _fag_, didn't you? Where's the whore? Where's my grandson?" he snapped.

I turned to glance at the three of them, seeing they were dumbfounded, so I took a deep breath. I'd have to speak for the group, apparently. "Jake's with friends. Alice, unfortunately, has passed away, you fucking prick." He gave me a look of surprise before his face hardened severely.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did my language _offend_ you? I thought we just stated the obvious here. Yes, Jasper and I are fags, and you called it as you saw it. So, I returned the favor. There's no use for bullshit, is there? I mean, why would we beat around the bush?" I goaded.

"What do you want, Jasper? You should have called before you showed up here with this mess," he snapped as he pointed to me. I laughed, seeing what a fucking bully the man really was. I hoped Jasper could see his father's behavior for what it was, intimidation plain and simple.

"JR, that's not necessary. Masen's a good guy," Emmett defended. I saw the older man sneer at Emmett, and I wasn't about to let Emmett take the heat. I was fine with him turning it all on me.

"I'm sure he's good at sucking my son's dick, but as far as a _guy_? I doubt it," JR answered smugly. It was definitely a challenge.

I smiled my brightest smile. "Actually, Mr. Whitlock, I _am_ good at sucking your son's dick. As far as being a guy, well, I could _show_ you if you're unsure of my gender."

I heard the three behind me gasp, so I turned to Jasper because it wasn't going to be an extended visit. "Love, give him the response and let's get the hell out of here. We have far better places to be and much better people to see. No offense, Em and Rosalie," I announced.

Jasper looked at me with fear in his eyes, but when I cocked an eyebrow at him, he snapped out of it. "You're right. JR this is my response to your now-nullified petition. Since Alice's death, your petition is moot. You have no basis to try to take Jacob away because you have no evidence I'm an unfit parent. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you can take him away and raise him with your fucked-up logic. This document refutes your Petition. My attorney's information is at the end of it.

"I can guarantee you this is one you won't win. You'll never, ever get custody of my son. There's a lot you don't know, and if you push it, you'll regret it," Jasper told him as he handed him two copies of the papers which the man shoved away.

"We'll just see about this shit, Jasper. You've done everything you can to destroy this family, and if it wasn't for your momma, you'd be layin' in a gutter somewhere. She took pity on ya because you're so fuckin' weak and she had to protect ya. She's had to save your pussy ass all your life, and this time ain't no different," JR drawled.

I was about to open my mouth when Jasper laughed darkly. "Careful, Daddy…you're Texas is showin'. Come on, darlin' let's go. Rosalie, tell Momma I'm sorry we missed her," Jasper stated as he took my hand and led me out after tossing the papers on the kitchen table.

We walked out of the place to the elevator, and when we reached the sidewalk, Jasper hailed a cab. As we were on our way back to the hotel, he produced his phone and began texting away. He didn't say anything, but I couldn't hold my tongue. I took his hand and held it. "I'm proud of you, Jasper."

He turned to me and smiled. "I'd have never been able to do it if you weren't with me. Thank ya, sugar."

When we arrived at the hotel, I was surprised to see the car service there waiting for us. Our bags were at the curb, and the driver was talking with the bellman. "I'm gonna go check us out. We only have an hour before our flight. Can you pay the cab?" I nodded as he hurried off.

I paid the cab and walked over to the driver. "Hello. I guess we'll be going to LaGuardia." I tipped out the bellman as the driver loaded our bags in the car.

Jasper came out a few minutes later, and I could see his hair was a bit wet, so I assumed he'd washed his face and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He sat next to me in the back seat, and I took his hand. "You okay?" I asked.

He turned to me with a worried look on his face. "I'm so damn sorry for the way he treated you…"

I leaned forward and kiss him to stop his words. They weren't necessary at all. "Don't ever apologize for anyone's behavior but your own. You're not responsible for his narrow mind. That's all his own. We just have to make certain we raise Jake to be a well-rounded, open-minded man. That's our responsibility, not the way anyone else reacts to the fact we're together. I shouldn't have goaded him, but I couldn't help myself when I saw how he was going to react. Hopefully, his lawyer is smart enough to see it's a losing battle and tell him to drop it," I responded. _Fuck, I hoped so._

##

I had Jasper drop me off at the house so I could pack bags for the three of us to go visit my aunt and uncle. He was going to pick up Jake at Charlotte and Peter's, and I knew he needed a bit of time alone to think about what had happened. He'd been silent on the flight, and I was worried about him.

I quickly packed casual clothes for the three of us, not forgetting our swim trunks. I called Aunt Es to alert her to our arrival. It only rang once.

"Edward? How are you, sweetheart?" I could hear the excitement in her voice and it made me smile.

I chuckled. "Hi, Aunt Es. You have room for three weary souls? I think my boys could use a nice break for a few days. Can we come early?"

"Oh, we'd love it. I'll call Carlisle and get his butt home to skim the pool. Any favorites I should know about?" she asked.

"Well, as for Jake, he'll eat anything that stands still long enough. Jasper is a meat and potatoes guy. Oh, and Aunt Es, no wine, okay? Actually, could you put away the liquor? He's three year's sober, and after the last twenty-four hours, I don't want to jeopardize it," I told her.

"That poor man. Yes, of course. I'll do a sweep of the house, dear. We're looking forward to your visit. Be safe. See you soon," Aunt Es stated as we said our good-byes.

I finished packing for us and moved the bags to the front porch, grabbing waters and cookies for the ride.

I drove us to Forks. Jasper and Jake both fell asleep, and I was happy for some time to contemplate the past twenty-four hours. I knew Jasper hadn't really had good sleep on the way to or from New York, and I wanted him to enjoy our time in the country. He certainly deserved the break.

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_**E/N: I misspoke…you didn't meet Lilly this chapter. That's coming up. So, what do we think about JR Whitlock? Next chapter…Forks : )**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N: Yeah, you're awesome. Thank you for the reviews last night. Yes, JR is a huge asshole. And to those who think that was his only appearance…not so fast…**_

_**Let's get on with it.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

24. Finding Answers

##

JASPER

"_Edward's back in Jasper's life and it leaves me out in the cold, for certain. I don't begrudge Jasper his happiness, but what have I got to be happy about? I called Jared, and he told me he's going to Germany. I'm going to take Jake and go to Ft. Campbell before he leaves. When he sees Jake, he'll know…he'll see Jake is his son, and he'll take us with him. We can start over in Germany…as a family."_

…

"_I was able to find Jared's home phone number by calling the base and claiming to be his sister, and I called it because he refuses to answer his cell. When a woman answered his home number and told me she was his wife, I played it off I was the wife of a friend of his who was deployed. He'd talked about his friends who had been stationed elsewhere, so I told the bitch I was married to Colin and she believed me. She told me they were packing up the house and kids to move to Germany, and if I gave her my number, she'd have Jared call me. I gave her my name and number all right, the cunt. How could he do that to me?"_

…

"_I can't possibly live this life anymore. I went off my meds, and I'm officially insane. My precious boy deserves better than the life I can offer. With Edward in Jasper's life, he'll have less and less time for Jake if I'm alive, and I can't let that happen to my son. _

_His real father will never acknowledge him, and Edward Masen has already taken Jasper away from me, leaving Jake and me alone. I only have one choice to give Jake the life he deserves. If I'm gone, Jasper will have no choice but to make Jake his priority. I won't have to deal with the crazy in my head anymore either."_

…

"_Love, you coming?_" Edward called up the stairs. When we'd arrived, Esme had ushered us into the kitchen immediately to feed us. After food, Carlisle and Jake went into the backyard to kick the soccer ball so Jake could show him what he'd learned at soccer camp. I'd excused myself upstairs to check work e-mails. Edward stayed in the kitchen with his mom.

That was a lie, but I'd eventually tell Edward what I'd done when we returned home on Monday night. I'd stopped at Alice's house and found a box in her closet as Mary had told me. I bagged it up to go out to the trash, having determined no good would come of reading all of her journals. It wouldn't help any of us understand her better over the years, what with her somewhat distorted view of life over time, so I decided to allow her the privacy she deserved and destroy the old journals.

Then, I went to her bed and felt around under the mattress, finding a black and white composition book as her mother had suggested I might. I'd brought it along to Carlisle and Esme's home, hoping to try to understand what she'd been going through before she took her life, and as I read the scant entries, I understood it fully.

Jared Stone was married. He had a family, and he wasn't going to be taking Alice away to Germany as she thought. It was all settled in her mind they'd be a happy family, and when it didn't happen the way she envisioned, she took another path…the path leading to her taking her own life. I guessed she'd lost all hope by then, and she saw it as the only way to handle things. If I'd have only known what was going on behind the scenes of her life, I'd have tried to help her. The helplessness and subsequent guilt I felt was the worst part.

"_I'll be there in a second!_" I called down the stairs. I quickly changed into swim trunks and joined everyone at the pool.

Edward and Jake were in the pool, tossing a beach ball around. Carlisle was asleep on a lounger under an umbrella, and Esme was sitting in a chair at a table. There was a pitcher of lemonade on the table and glasses, so I poured one for myself.

"Esme, thank you for allowing us to just barge in on your weekend," I offered as I sipped the lemonade.

She slipped off a pair of designer sunglasses and turned to look at me, pouring herself some lemonade as well. "You love my boy and you're not going to hurt him?" She had a stern look on her face, so I nodded. For such a lovely woman, she had the evil eye down pat.

Her face softened and she smiled. "Then you're family. You never need an invitation, Jasper. You and Jake are welcome here anytime you need a break. Edward told me things didn't go well with your family, and I'm truly sorry to hear it. People who don't appreciate the gifts God gives them just chap my ass. Carlisle and I tried to have children, but we couldn't.

"I loved my sister very much, and when she and Ed were killed, it broke my heart, but when Edward came to live with us, I was beside myself with happiness. After graduation, when he chose to stay in Washington to be near us, it was like a gift from the heavens. It was truly a blessing I never thought I'd have. Now, having you and Jacob in our lives, well, that's just another gift.

"You have people who love you, don't you forget it," she stated sternly, which brought a laugh from me. In a minute, she laughed as well.

"I'm sorry if I'm so strident, but I'm very protective of that boy. I truly enjoyed getting to know Mary and Rosalie. I'm sorry I never knew Alice. It seemed she had a lot of people who cared about her. It's a shame she wasn't able to see it for herself," she offered.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I said nothing. Esme was being kind, and when I looked at the table and saw the lemonade, I remembered what Henry had told me. With a smile, I began, "A friend of mine told me nothing was better for the soul than a glass of lemonade and a listening ear, so I'm going to take advantage of your good nature."

With that, I proceeded to tell her everything. I told her about my drinking problems after Edward and I broke up. I told her about all of the things Alice had lied about. I told her about Jake not being my son. I told her about the letters and the journal entries, and I told her how afraid I was to lose Jacob. She listened; Edward and Jake continued to play in the pool; and Carlisle slept. It was all far easier than I ever thought it would be. When I was finished talking, she and I had drained the pitcher of lemonade, and my soul felt as light as the empty glass pitcher.

"So, that's me. Your ne…son has strapped his saddle to a boy from Texas who is completely fucked up, pardon the language, ma'am. My best advice would be for you to tell him to run like the wind. He'd be smart to rid himself of me and my problems," I finished. Wallowing in self-pity seemed appropriate at the time.

She giggled and pointed to the pool. I turned my head to see Edward standing in the middle of it up to his waist with his eyes closed. "_Marco_," he yelled.

Jake climbed the ladder and stood on the side, leaning forward and yelling "_Polo_." Edward whipped his head around, eyes still closed, and he began swimming until he reached the side, by then, Jake had run around to the other side, his finger held to his lips for us to be quiet.

"See that smile on Edward's face? That was never a smile I thought I'd see. He was so damn shy when he was younger. He barely spoke. After he settled here in Seattle and started at U-Dub, he simply blossomed. When he brought you home that first time, I finally understood why. I'm so very sorry for the way I behaved when you came here looking for him," she apologized.

"Esme, I believe someone up there has a plan for us, and if one thing hadn't gone the way it has, I wouldn't be sitting here with you, watching the two most important people in my life enjoying themselves on a lovely evening. It's been a trip to hell and back, that's for sure, and there are still things out there that can hurt us, but I'm hoping to keep them to a minimum. We all deserve a little happiness," I told her.

She watched the scene in the pool for a moment as Jake jumped in and surprised Edward. Edward picked him up after he cleared the water from his eyes, and the two of them tussled a bit, Jake laughing the whole time.

"Have you considered just telling your parents Jake's not your son? I'm not pushing anything, but if they pursue this path, Jasper, it's going to come out. Maybe if you just tell them, then you can be rid of the threat," she suggested.

I took a deep breath. "I thought about it, ma'am, but I'm still not sure how it would affect Jacob if he found out the truth. You see, I had these pie-in-the-sky hopes my parents would be good grandparents. They were terrible parents, but I hoped with their grandson, they'll surprise me. They love him, but I'm afraid if they find out I'm not his biological father, well, Jake won't have _any _grandparents. I mean, he has Mary and Fred, but they're older and I think Jake's a reminder…"

She grabbed my hand and when I looked at her, she had a soft smile on her face. "He'll have us, I mean, if you'll accept our intrusion into your life. Hell, Jasper, Edward loves that boy, and it's just been a short time since the two of them became acquainted. After spending time with us, you can't think we wouldn't do everything we could for him. Jacob will never be without loving grandparents."

Just then, we both heard a loud splash and when Carlisle surfaced, he was laughing. He picked up Jake and put him on his shoulders. "I think this has been one-sided long enough, and I think we should teach Edward a lesson," Carlisle ordered as Jake and Edward grabbed hands and began struggling while Carlisle held Jake on his shoulders. Edward was no match for the two of them, and when he went under the water, Jake and Carlisle gave each other a high five. In that moment, I knew she was right. My son and I had another family I never expected, and they supported us. It was a wonderful revelation.

##

"I think you cheat," Carlisle announced from the corner of the room. He had taught Jake how to play chess when they were in Seattle, and the two of them were engaged in a game at a gaming table in the corner of the room. Esme was reading, and Edward and I were on the couch, his arms around me as I sat in front of him watching an old Cary Grant movie. I glanced at Esme and saw her look up with a warm smile. It was like a fucking Hallmark card, and I was grateful for the peace.

"Oh, no, Doc. I never cheat. You told me if I moved this here and that one there, I'd win. That's what I did. If I didn't do it right, then maybe you're not a very good teacher," Jake taunted as he crossed his arms over his chest, cockily.

Edward leaned forward and whispered, "He gets that attitude from me, you know." I didn't doubt it in the least. They'd spent a lot of time together, and I could see Jacob picking up some of Edward's mannerisms, namely brushing his hand through his short hair and pinching the bridge of his nose when he was frustrated. Both actions brought a smile to my face every time.

"Show me how you did it again?" Carlisle asked, seeming perplexed.

I started to get up to make sure Jake wasn't cheating, but Edward held onto me. "Don't you dare go over there, Love. He won fair and square. He's extremely intelligent, you know. I was watching them out of the corner of my eye, and while Jake doesn't know what the moves are called, because they all have names, he worked out the strategy in his head. He reminds me very much of you, Jasper."

I laughed. "I never had the patience to learn to play. I remember your dad trying to teach me once when we were here for a visit, but all I wanted to do was take you upstairs and fuck you. That was about as much as I could think about," I teased, grinding my ass into his growing hard on.

Esme giggled, and we both turned to look at her, seeing she was still staring at her book. I was a bit relieved, having forgotten she was nearby. I turned back to the television, and as Edward's hands moved down my body to lightly scrape across my hard cock in my shorts, I was suddenly tired.

I sprang from the couch. "Jake, it's time for bed, son. You can challenge Carlisle to another game tomorrow. It's supposed to rain in the morning, so you'll have time if he isn't busy," I suggested.

"Aw, Dad. It was double or nothin'. I'm…"

Suddenly Carlisle clapped his hand over Jake's mouth, and Edward and Esme laughed. "Carlisle, you didn't," Esme chastised across the room.

"It's a friendly game, Es. He took me for ten bucks when we were in Seattle last time. I was trying to win my money back, but he beat me again. Here, you little shyster. I'll figure out your game, Jacob Whitlock," Carlisle stated as he handed Jake money and stuck out his hand.

Jake took the money and shoved it in his pocket, taking Carlisle's hand and shaking it. "You're a worthy opponent, Doc. Night." After they stopped shaking, Carlisle pulled him into a hug. "Sleep well, son."

He kissed the top of Jake's head and then released him which warmed my heart. Jake walked over to where Esme was sitting, reaching out for a hug. "Night."

"Sweet dreams, sweet boy. Pancakes in the morning? What's your favorite?" she asked.

He looked at me and then leaned forward and whispered in her ear for a minute. When he pulled away, she smiled. "You're at Nana's house. I dare him to tell me no. Goodnight, sweetheart."

She released him and he walked upstairs to the room they'd told him he could have. "Night, Dad. Pop." We both returned the sentiment, and I saw Edward with a smug smile on his face. "Where'd that come from?" I asked.

"We had a play date with Sam and one of his dads, Brady, one day recently at the Space Needle. Apparently, there was a discussion of what Sam called his dads. He just started calling me that out of the clear blue. I haven't said anything to him about it. You should…you should talk to him, Jasper."

I thought for a minute and smiled. "Actually, _Pop, _I think _you_ should have a talk with him if it bothers you. It doesn't bother me at all."

Edward smiled widely and announced, "We've had a long day. We're going up. See you in the morning, _Nana_." He walked over to Esme and kissed her cheek and then he went to Carlisle and hugged him before bounding up the stairs.

I rose from the couch and kissed Esme goodnight. "Thank you for the talk and the lemonade. You'll never know how much I appreciated it," I whispered.

She kissed my forehead and smiled. "Always, Jasper. I'm always here for you."

I hugged Carlisle, hearing him laugh in my ear. "I'm going to have to watch that boy if he ever picks up poker." I laughed and made my way upstairs.

When I got to the top of the landing, I heard Carlisle address his wife. "Well, you've got yourself two sons and a grandson. I hope you're happy now."

She giggled. "More than happy…blessed." I chuckled and went into Jake's room seeing him and Edward sitting together on the bed with a book. It was an amazing sight to behold, and it filled my heart to overflowing.

I took a quick shower as the two of them read together, and I climbed into bed because I couldn't stay awake any longer. Sometime later, I felt warm, damp arms around me and a kiss to my bare shoulder. "I love you so very much, Jasper, and one of these days, you'll marry me. We'll live the life we planned years ago, I swear it," he whispered.

My eyes sprung open because I'd never thought about marriage after Edward left me. _Was that really in the cards for me? _ Marriage? Actually, I could completely see it. I could see us being married and raising Jake together. It would take time, but…yeah, it was a definite possibility.

\\\

_**E/N: I love Carlisle and Esme, and they'll continue to be supportive to our little family. We're about to embark upon some rough water, but I'll tell you this…our boys will stay solid.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N: Thank you for your reviews last night. We have about seven more chapters and an epi, JSYK. **_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

25.

##

EDWARD

"Angela, my dear heart, climb off my fucking back. Bella can threaten and plot and plan all she wants, but I've got nothing. She's going to have to wait until I come up with another mystery. I've given her five, and they were good. I could write her a mystery about a stolen puppy…fuck, that's it! I've gotta go," I announced, having just received an epiphany on a lovely late-September day.

I went to my computer and began my research. I had four hours before I had to pick up Jake from school, so I could get down an outline and begin planning. Jasper was in New York for a come-to-Jesus meeting with his parents and Rosalie, and I'd put in a call for Emmett to come over for dinner. I finally had an idea about a story to finish out my Caine Winslow series for _Swan Publishing, _so maybe we'd get takeout instead of me cooking. Since it would be my last Caine Winslow mystery, I didn't want to go out with a whimper, so when the idea struck, I was off.

I quickly pecked out an outline, and just when I got to the point where the stolen diamonds had been made into a dog collar for a Labrador puppy, the house phone rang. I hopped up to answer it without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Is this Jasper Whitlock?"

I pulled the phone back and looked at the caller ID, not recognizing the number. "No, it's not. He's not here at the moment, and if you're selling anything, we're not interested."

"I'm not…I'm not selling anything. Is there a number…is there a way to get in touch with him?" a woman asked. I could tell something was wrong.

"He's out of town right now. I'm Edward. What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm Leah, Leah Clearwater-Black. I'm Becca's wife. Billy was in an accident, and he's asked for Jasper. He had this number and a cell number in his phone, but the cell number isn't picking up," she answered.

"Is he…is Billy okay?" I asked, swallowing hard.

"He's got a broken back. He was on the way home from an AA meeting and he was t-boned by a drunk driver, ironically," she stated without humor in her voice. I could hear the sadness, and I immediately shifted into helper mode.

"What hospital?" I asked.

"Mercy."

"I'll be there as soon as I can. I'll call Jasper. They're good friends. Hell, we're all good friends. I'll be there," I told her. She gave me the room number and I called Jasper, leaving him a message.

I called his office, getting Lauren on the first ring. "Hello, handsome. With what can I help you?"

"Get Jasper on the phone and tell him to come home. It's not Jake, its Billy. He'll understand. He's not answering his phone for me or anyone. Where's Rosalie? Did she go to New York with him?" I asked.

"Actually, Rosalie's in the office. Do you want to speak with her? Jasper told me he had a meeting with a potential author in New York, and he went alone," Lauren explained, sounding somewhat confused.

When Jasper told me they were demanded to be in New York, he told me Rose was going with him. If he went to face his father on his own…fuck. He'd lied to all of us, and he was going to face Lucifer on his own.

"Okay. Ask her to pick up Jake at school or see if Emmett can. I've got to get to the hospital. Keep trying him until he answers, Lauren. I have a bad feeling," I told her.

I remembered the night before he left to go to New York, and I was worried.

"_God knows I don't want to go, but Momma wants to talk about divesting herself of the business, and Rose and I need to be there in person for it. I wish you could come with me, but you need to be here to take care of Jake."_

"_I know, love, but it's just a few days. Let me give you a memorable sendoff," I teased him._

_That night was incredible. He topped me, and it was the first time since we'd broken up years ago I'd allowed it. Hell, he was the only person who ever had his dick in me, and as he gently made love to me, I thought I would lose my mind. He'd started it with the most incredible rim job I'd ever had in my life and after he sucked me dry with a perfect blow job, he built me back up as his fingers moved inside me. _

_When he finally entered me, I was completely blown away at the sensation, and when I shot off in record time, he laughed. His cock had a nice upward slant I'd forgotten about and it seemed to have GPS to my prostate. It was an embarrassing showing for me, but he lasted long enough I came around again and when he stroked into me in time with what his hand did to me, I came hard, much to my happy surprise._

_After we settled into bed, he held me tightly. "I don't have a good feeling about how this will go, babe. If she comes at me with stipulations regarding us buying her out, I'm not sure how it will go." I held out hope his mother would be fair to him…foolishly I was sure._

"Lauren, can you tell me where's he staying? Can you track his credit card? This is important," I told her.

"He's at the Westin because that's where I made the reservation for him. Give me an hour and I'll call you back," she responded. I told her I appreciated her help and hung up.

I called Peter. "Edward, how are you?" he asked.

"Not good. I need to go to New York. I have to find Jasper, and he's not answering his phone. I suspect he went to meet with his parents…alone."

"_Shit!_ Where's Jake?" he asked.

"He's at school, and Rose and Em are going to take care of him. Can you go to Mercy Hospital to check on our friend, Billy Black? I'm sure Jasper told you about him. He was in a car accident, and the Black family will need support." I prayed he'd help me out. I needed to get to Jasper.

Peter cleared his throat. "I'm leaving now, Edward. If you need me, call me. I'll come to New York if you need me," Peter assured. I thanked him and hung up. I got myself a flight to New York, and I prayed and prayed Jasper was just busy. I called him several times, leaving voicemails, and I sent more texts than I could count.

When I boarded that plane, I almost wanted the fucker to crash. I was so fucking scared of what I'd find when I got to New York, I wanted to die.

##

I grabbed a cab from LaGuardia and went straight to the Whitlock's large penthouse. I didn't have a key for the elevator, so I had to stop at the concierge desk for assistance. "Hello?" I yelled, seeing the ornate clock off to the side showed it was after midnight.

Finally, a tall, older gentleman in a very sleek uniform appeared from somewhere in the back. "Good evening, sir. How may I direct you?"

"I need someone to let me up to the Whitlock's penthouse. I'm here to see Jasper," I demanded.

"Sir, Mr. Jasper doesn't live here. This is his parents' home."

I took a deep breath to keep from taking off his snooty head. "Let's start over. I know Lilly and JR. Jasper's in town to visit his parents, and I'm his partner. He asked me to meet him here as soon as my plane got in. He's not answering his cell phone, so I'd appreciate it if you'd let me up to the fiftieth floor," I requested.

"I'm sorry, sir, but the Whitlocks have asked not to be disturbed this evening. If you'll leave your contact information, I'll alert them of your visit in the morning and they can contact you."

I was so pissed I could have chewed nails in two, but I could see I wasn't going to get anywhere. "Fine. May I have a piece of paper and a pen?" He handed me a piece of expensive stationery and a fountain pen. I scribbled out my name and cell number, handing it back to him.

"It's imperative I speak with them." I had a feeling I wouldn't hear one word from them, but maybe the Universe would take pity on me.

He dismissed me, so I hurried out to the street where the doorman summoned a cab for me. I gave the driver the address to the hotel where Jasper had checked in, and I decided to try to call him once again.

I pulled out my phone, seeing I hadn't turned it on after the plane landed. As the driver drove to the hotel, I heard several chimes, alerting me to messages. I checked the texts first, seeing three from Rosalie. I quickly opened them, checking them one at a time.

_What do you mean Jasper went to a meeting in New York? I was out of the office and he didn't tell me anything about going to New York. I haven't spoken to JR or Lilly in a month. Call me._

_We've got Jake. I ran by the house and got him clothes for school tomorrow. Call me, dammit._

_I got a very garbled message from Jasper. I hate to say it, but I think he's drinking. Please find him._

I let out a heavy breath, and quickly called my voicemail, seeing I had three messages.

"_Edward, its Peter. I'm at the hospital with Billy Black and his family. He's had surgery, but there's a very good chance he won't walk again. Also, I had a missed call from Jasper. I phoned him back but he didn't answer. Call me when you know anything."_

"_Edward, its Bella. I need to talk to you about…" _I skipped it.

The last one was from a New York number. It was hard to hear because the background was loud. _"Baby, I…..to you…not…out from under…I'm at a…Posh. I lost…so I picked up…call me."_

I looked to the driver in the front seat. "You ever heard of a bar called 'Posh'?"

He punched something into his GPS and answered, "There's one in Hell's Kitchen. It's a…" He looked in the rearview and chuckled. "It's on West 51st Street."

"It's a gay bar?" I asked. He nodded. "Take me there." He did as I asked, and when he pulled up, I paid him and grabbed my carry on. I hadn't really packed anything except necessities, so I didn't need a suitcase to fuck with at baggage claim.

I walked up to the bouncer at the front of a velvet rope, seeing him giving me the up and down. There was a line, but I couldn't wait that long. "Hi, um, my husband's here, and I need to go get his ass out of there," I told him.

He looked at the bag in my hand. "What's in there?" I opened the zipper and he sorted through. When he handed it back, he looked at me with a smirk. "You always go huntin' your husband down in bars with clean drawers and a toothbrush? This is a new one on me."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, holding it in front of me so only he could see it. "Maybe I'm hoping to _find_ a husband in there. I like to be prepared. I was an Eagle Scout." He saw the bill and discreetly took it, opening the velvet rope and ushering me inside while the crowd heckled him behind me.

The place was packed, and from my vantage point, I couldn't see anything except a lot of bare skin and glow-sticks. I made my way over to the bar to see if he was there. I was trying like hell to control my runaway imagination because if I caught him there with anyone, I was going to kill him.

The bartender, an extremely hot guy with a bright smile, stopped in front of me. "What'll it be, sexy?"

I wanted to roll my eyes. "I'm looking for someone," I began before he cut me off.

"Well, baby, you've found _someone_. I get off in an hour. Why don't you hang around and I'll get you a drink."

"Not like that. I'm looking for a specific someone. Blonde hair, blue eyes. A little shorter than me. Great build. He was probably very upset," I shouted over the music. He pointed to the end of the bar so I followed him where he could hear a little better.

"My boyfriend called me, and I think he was here and drunk. I'm trying to find him. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Great build. Slight Texas accent?"

He looked at me cautiously. "What's your name?"

"Edward. Edward Masen and his name is Jasper. Please, I've got to find him before he does something rash." I reached for my wallet, prepared to let him run up my credit card to the limit if he'd just talk to me. He turned to the guy next to him and said something, to which the other guy nodded.

The guy slid under the service bar and took my hand, leading me down a dark hallway to a set of stairs. "Whoa, I'll give you all the money I have right now, but I'm not blowing you or doing anything else sexual," I stated firmly.

He laughed. "Dude, I'm actually straight, and I'm not a whore. Anyway, that shit was all an act for the customers. I'd have had someone kick you out at closing anyway. Now, your friend's down here sleeping it off. He sat at the bar before it got busy and he drank damn near an entire bottle of Jack while he told me how some dude fucked him over. He kept saying Edward was going to leave him and someone was going to take Jake away. I couldn't make sense of it, but he seemed like a nice guy, so I brought him down here and gave him some coffee. These are the private rooms, but I put up a sign that one was out of order. He's in there," he explained.

I glanced at his dark, muscular chest and saw a nametag clipped to his red suspenders. "Thank you, Derek."

He laughed. "My real name's Tyrone. Anyway, I felt sorry for him. I've gotten fucked over by some chicks in the past, so I could relate to his need to blow off steam. Dude, I don't think he was steppin' out on ya. He kept sayin' he loved ya and he didn't wanna lose ya."

I pulled out a hundred and handed it to him. "Thanks, man. He's not like that. The person who fucked him over is probably his father. Is there a back way out?"

"Yeah. Give me an hour and I'll come back and give ya a hand. It'll probably take that long to get him to come to. He was pretty far gone when he got here. Hell, I shouldn't have served him, but he was pretty persuasive. Sorry, man."

I nodded in thanks as he produced a key and let me into a dimly lit room. I saw Jasper lying on a table cloth on a couch off to the side. "You put him on the cloth?" I asked.

"Fuck yeah. _You_ know what goes on in here. Man, if these walls could talk." We both laughed and he flipped on a brighter light before he closed the door behind him.

I walked over and took in Jasper's appearance. His eyes were really puffy, and he had horrible circles under them. One arm was hanging off the couch and the other one was resting on his chest. He had something in his hand, and when I walked over and opened it, I saw it was his Sobriety Chips. I wanted to throw up on his behalf.

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_**E/N: *Ducking* I know…an evil cliffie. You only have to wait until tomorrow night…**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N: Wow! Some of you are harsh! I said they'd stay solid…I didn't say there wouldn't be any bumps in the road. I do thank you for your reviews. You care about these boys as much as I do, and I'm grateful to you.**_

_**SMeyer owns…I borrow.**_

_**Read on!**_

_**\\\**_

26. Dealing with the Devil

##

JASPER

I woke up with the worst fucking headache of my life, and _that_ was saying something. My eyes shot open, but it took a few seconds for them to focus. I was in a bed. A television was on but the volume was really low. Someone was pissing in the bathroom. I pulled up the sheet to see I was naked, and I immediately felt sick.

I heard the toilet flush, so I bolted to the door, throwing it open and emptying the sparse contents of my stomach after shoving someone out of the way. I kept dry heaving, unable to control the spasms. I felt a warm hand on my back and a cool cloth on my neck. I was so fucking afraid to look up I braced my arm over the seat of the commode and rested my head there.

"Would you mind giving me some privacy, please?" I asked whoever was there. God, I wanted to die for many reasons but mostly because I couldn't remember if I'd fucked Edward over, _yet again_.

"Trust me, this is nothing compared to what I got in the cab." My head whipped around and I saw Edward standing there with a bottle of water and a gentle smile on his face.

I started shaking and crying, so relieved it was him. God, if I had cheated on him, I'd slit my fucking throat. "How'd you…how'd you find me?" I asked between the sobs, only remembering snippets of the night before. Unfortunately, I remembered everything prior to the first fucking drink.

"_Hi, Maria. I'm here to see Father. Is Rosalie here yet? I couldn't get in touch with her. Mother said she was going to be here for the meeting," I asked as I stood in my parents' penthouse doorway at two o'clock in the afternoon. I'd lied to Lauren about the reason I was going to New York because I didn't want her to worry after the last trip we'd all made to New York. No need to sound the alarm if there's no trouble._

_My mother appeared with a look on her face leading me to believe I had a lot to worry about. "Hello, son. Your sister's not coming. Your father is waiting for us in his office."_

"_What's going on, Mother? If he brought me here to try to bully me some more, it's not going to work. I'm prepared to pay every cent I have to keep my son with me. Hell, I have no doubt Edward will pitch in everything he has, and he's got a lot more than me," I warned her._

_We went into my father's office, and I saw him sitting behind his desk in a pair of jeans and a button-up with his loafer-covered feet resting on top, crossed at the ankles. He was on the phone, and he was drinking something familiar from a small tumbler. This wasn't a good sign at all._

"_He just walked in, Marcus. I'll call you back. Thank you." He hung up the phone and sat up, emptying his glass._

_He rose from his chair and went to the small liquor cart in the corner of his office. "Jasper, what's your poison, son?"_

_I chuckled. "Father, I haven't had a drink in damn near four years. Why did you drag me all the way across the country under false pretenses? Clearly, Mother has no desire to divest herself of Thorn. Hell, she lied that Rosalie would be here just so you could get me here alone. If this is about Jacob, you're wasting my time and yours."_

_He shook his head and placed a glass on the table in front of where I'd taken a seat. I could see it was whiskey, and for a fleeting second, I wanted to down the fucking thing. That was when I remembered the two people who were waiting for me at home. I could never do it to them._

_My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I couldn't check it because I needed to be on my toes for whatever bullshit was coming my way. I truly wished Rosalie or Edward was with me._

"_Go ahead. If you're in so damn much control of yourself and able to raise that boy, one drink with your daddy shouldn't matter," he taunted in his Texas._

"_JR, stop," Mother began. He held up his hand for her to shut up, and not surprisingly, she did. Never in all my life had my mother gone against my father, regardless of the situation. I knew better than to expect it now._

"_I am in control of myself, but I don't stop after one. I believe I got that trait from you, Daddy," I snapped back at him, using my own Texas._

_He chuckled darkly. "Well, you were wrong about why we called ya here. Your momma wants out of the publishin' business, and we have an offer you and your sister can't meet without us giving ya special treatment. Now, if you're such a big man, I'd guess you don't want no special treatment, so we took the other offer. We're sellin' the whole shootin' match. The deal closes at the end of the month. Unfortunately, the new company doesn't have use for a drunken faggot on staff, so we had to let you go in order to sweeten the deal. You have a buy-out in your contract, so consider yourself off the payroll."_

"_My lawyer, Marcus, tells me with you out of a job, your history of alcohol abuse, the fact the whore's dead, and your status as a homosexual, we'll have a much better chance of getting my grandson away from you. Betcha want that drink now, don'tcha?"_

_I looked toward my mother, sure he was bluffing. When I saw her playing with a tissue in her hands as tears rolled down her cheeks, I knew he was just evil enough to do it. There was only one thing left to do…tell the motherfucker the truth._

"_Well, you might wanna call Marcus back because there's one little bit of information you don't have which will definitely change the complexion of this situation. Turns out, Jake's not my biological son. Alice told me before she killed herself," I stated brazenly._

_He only looked surprised for a second, and then he began laughing hysterically as if he'd finally gone over the edge. When he calmed down, he turned to my mother. "Well, how ya like that, Lilly? He ain't even man enough to father a child with a whore. Well, makes me no nevermind. That boy's last name is still Whitlock. I'm guessin' the whore didn't know the father and she latched onto you for your bank account…or rather _**my**_ bank account. Take that drink now, boy, so we can discuss this like men. You're shakin' like a little girl."_

_Without thinking, I reached for it, took a deep breath, and swallowed it in one gulp. The burn all the way down was like an old, fucked-up friend. Within a few seconds, my shaking subsided. "Well, let's talk, JR," I announced calmly._

"_Bring my grandson to New York where I can put him in a decent school. The two of you will live here with your mother and me so we can keep an eye on you. You get rid of that Masen queer immediately. You can sneak around and…Lillian, leave the room now. This isn't a fit discussion for you to hear."_

_I turned to see my mother give me an apologetic look before she left the room, closing the door behind her. When I turned back around, there was another drink in front of me. My father's phone on his desk rang, but he ignored it after he looked at the caller ID._

"_Now that your mother's gone… You can fuck whatever ya want as long as you're discreet. You'll never bring another man into my home and announce he's your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever the fuck you call it. I'll stop the sale of Thorn, and you can run things from here. Your sister can take care of that indie bullshit you two have goin' on in Seattle. You'll have a job. You can have your brains fucked out as long as I don't hear about it, and you can be around Jacob. Any answer other than 'yes, sir', and you lose everything," he threatened._

_I looked at him as my phone buzzed in my pocket again. I picked up the drink in front of me, downed it in one gulp, and stood, feeling a little woozy on my feet. "Here's my answer, Daddy. FUCK YOU!"_

_I left the house, caught a cab, and when my phone began buzzing again, I tossed it out of the window of the cab. I had the driver stop at a cell phone store while I ran in and bought another one. I called Peter, not getting him, and then I called Edward because those were the only two numbers my blurry mind could remember. When I didn't get either of them, I just said fuck it._

"_Take me to a bar."_

"_A bar?" the cab driver asked._

"_A gay bar," I told him._

_He punched in something and rattled off the name… 'Posh'. I nodded and after he dropped me off, I went inside, sat down at the bar which was still mostly empty, and I ordered another drink. I vaguely remembered calling Edward and leaving him a message, then I tried Rosalie, but that's where it all ended._

"I had a very cryptic message from a New York area code. It turned out to be you. The only thing I could make out was you were fucked over by someone and the word 'Posh'. Luckily, the cab driver found the bar and I found a very nice bartender with whom you'd had an extended conversation before he cut you off and put you in a room to sleep it off. It was by the grace of God I found you." He extended his hand and helped me off the floor.

"Let's get you into a shower, get you some food, and get you on a plane home. Peter will be waiting for us at the airport. I'll wait for you to tell me what happened to cause you to take that drink, Jasper, but you _are_ going to tell me. Now, get cleaned up, love. I'll order breakfast and book us flights home."

He walked out of the bathroom, pulling the door behind him. I got into the shower and washed the horrendous smell of whiskey from my skin, feeling it ooze through my pores. I turned the water as hot as I could stand it, trying to wash it and all the bad memories, down the drain.

After I finished, I shaved and brushed my teeth, feeling the familiar shaking in my hands I hadn't felt in damn near four years. I wouldn't give in to it again. I had too much at stake, and I wouldn't let my father win. I had something now I didn't have back when I first started hitting the bottle with any regularity…I had Edward.

##

Breakfast was quiet. The cab ride to the airport was quieter, and as we sat at the gate waiting for our flight, I was dying inside. I took his hand in mine, and when he didn't pull away, I turned him to look at me. "Are you going to leave me over this?" I had to fucking know what he was thinking.

He closed his eyes and a single tear fell down his cheek which broke my heart. When he opened them and looked into mine, I could see he was hurt by my actions. He opened his mouth to speak, and I braced myself. "There are two things I can think of which would cause me to leave you. One is if you lie to me about anything that's happened over the last twenty-four hours. Did you lie to me about why you came to New York?"

"No, baby. I got a phone call from Momma that Rose and I were to come to New York for a meeting regarding the publishing house. Rose was out of the office meeting with the accountants, and she didn't call me back to confirm. I just assumed she'd meet me at the penthouse. I didn't lie to you, I swear," I answered.

He swallowed hard, and nodded. "Okay. Did you go to that bar looking for someone to fuck?"

"_No! NO! _ I went there because I figured if I started talking about how disappointed my boyfriend was going to be in me, I'd rather not have to deal with some bigoted asshole at the same time. I didn't go there looking to hook-up. Trust me, babe; that was the _last_ fucking thing on my mind after the day I'd endured. What's the other thing?" My breathing was labored, and I had to hear the rest of it.

"If you tell me you're not going to work to get back to where you were in your sobriety. One slip doesn't make you a drunk, Jasper. Continuing to drink does. I won't live with a drunk, and you know you don't want Jake to see that side of you. I'll support you one-hundred percent if you're going to work on being sober, but if you're going to fall into a bottle again, you're doing it alone, and I'll call Mary and Fred and tell them myself," he threatened.

Before I could respond, we were called to board our flight. Once we settled into our seats in first class, I sat and rehashed everything that happened to me and resolved there was no way drinking was more important to me than the people in my life who I would lose if I continued to drink.

Another thing which settled in my mind was the man I loved was a fighter, and I couldn't let my father put the fear in me like he'd done the day before. I had a lot of people on my side that would fight right along with me. I wasn't alone…not in the slightest.

"When we get home, we need to get in touch with Tyler. If Peter's picking us up, he's going to want to drop you off and take me to a meeting. Can you call Tyler and ask if he can come over tonight." He nodded in agreement.

"I can't begin to apologize to you for taking that first drink. It was for a stupid reason, and it was my decision. I shouldn't have been goaded, but I let him get to me. Never a-fucking-gain," I told him…swore to him.

For the rest of the plane ride, I told Edward what had happened. It was a good thing we were held captive on that plane because if Edward would have been able to get out of it, he'd have run all the way back to New York to kill my father.

We talked and strategized for hours. I fell asleep after downing bottles of water, and when I woke as the pilot announced our approach, I could see he was edgy. "What's wrong, darlin'?" I asked.

"Who offered to buy the publishing company?" he asked.

I thought back to the ugly conversation and realized I didn't even ask. "I have no idea. I forgot to ask. Hell, there might not even really be an offer."

"Maybe Rosalie knows? I was thinking. Do you think you need to…do you think this would be easier to get through if you went to rehab? If you think that's the best option, then I'll take care of Jake while you go. I just want _my_ Jasper back," he whispered as the plane touched down.

I took a deep breath after as we taxied to the gate. "I believe I'm strong enough to get through this without having to go away. I'll start with two meetings a day and see how it goes. If I can't beat down the temptation, then I'll go, but I don't want to leave you or Jake, especially with everything he's gone through recently. Can we take it one day at a time?" I asked.

He lifted my hand from the armrest and kissed the back of it. "I'll do whatever you need, Jasper. I'm not going anywhere, I promise you." I looked into his eyes and saw his resolve, and it helped me steel my own. I could do it. I _would_ do it.

##

"Did you tell him?" Peter asked as we approached the exit after leaving security. Edward slapped his forehead and turned to me.

"I'm so sorry, but with everything, I forgot. The reason all of us were calling you was because Billy was in an accident. He has a broken back, and they performed surgery. How is he, Peter?" Edward asked. I was shocked at the news.

"Actually, he woke before I came to pick you up. His daughter-in-law said he was in good spirits before he went into surgery. They were able to fuse the vertebra, but there's damage to the spinal cord. I didn't tell any of them about this. That's up to you to talk to Billy if you want to, Jasper. So, what's it going to be?" Peter asked. I could tell there was no choice, and I was grateful for such a strong person in my life.

I turned to Edward. "Do you mind taking a cab home?" He smiled and leaned forward, kissing me gently. I didn't want to let him go, but I had something I needed to do, and the fact he understood it only made me love him more.

"I love you. I'll see you at home," he told me as he squeezed Peter's shoulder on his way to the taxi stand. I turned back to Peter, seeing he was waiting for my answer.

"Well, I'm sure you've got at least four meetings starting within the next hour. Let's go," I told him.

"_That's_ my friend. _Right there_, that's the Jasper I know," he told me. There were tears in his eyes, which caused mine to come as well. He knew how hard I'd fought the first time. I hoped he saw the same passion in my eyes this time. I was going to need his support.

##

I was wrung out when we got home. As Peter pulled into my driveway, he turned to me. "Do you need me to stay tonight?"

I took his hand and squeezed it. "You know, I wish to hell you were my dad. Well, I don't have a time machine, so I can only change things going forward. I plan to go to two meetings a day, one in the morning and one after work. I've got Edward and Jake here, and I think I'm going to be fine. Dealing with this bullshit with my family isn't going to take me down, Peter, I promise."

He smiled at me. "My dear friend, you don't owe me any promises. Make those promises to your son, who depends on you; your man, who loves you; and yourself. Don't forget while you have a lot on your shoulders, you have people to share the load. You have a partner in Edward who's eager and willing to share. Don't think you have to be alone in this. Now, get out of my car. How'd you lose your phone and what's your new number?"

I punched my number in his phone and called mine so I'd have his because I didn't really remember it easily off the top of my head. I had a lot of numbers I needed to program in, but first, I needed to get a new phone. The one I bought in New York was a piece of shit.

"I was so pissed off I threw it out of the window of a moving cab. Thankfully, it got run over right away. I need to get a new phone with my old number. I'll let you know when I change it. Thanks for meeting us and taking me to that meeting. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I told him as I got out of the car. He nodded as he backed out of the driveway.

I unlocked the front door, hearing the television in the living room and smelling something incredible. I heard Emmett laughing, and I was sure that meant Rosalie was here. "Hello? Daddy's home," I joked.

Jake came running and hugged me tightly. "I _gotta_ tell you about school." I laughed and walked to the kitchen with him in my arms, having dropped my shit by the door.

Edward was stirring something on the stove and Rosalie was sitting at the table with a glass of iced tea. She rose from her chair and walked over, hugging both, Jake and me. "We'll talk tomorrow. I have the highlights, and I won't allow them to win. I knew nothing about this impromptu trip to New York, Jasper, I promise. I'm not going to give you sh…crap right now, but once we get this all set right, you're in for a huge raking over the coals, you know that, right?"

I kissed her cheek and said, "I'll make a note on my calendar. Are you guys staying for dinner?"

She smiled as she reached for a plastic container. "Your thoughtful boyfriend has packed us some to go, and I told Emmett he had to drive so I have a shot at even getting a bite of it. If I drive, he'll be in the damn thing with both hands." She turned to Edward and kissed his cheek. "Just boil the rice according to the box?"

He hugged her back. "Yes. It's much better if you put it over fresh rice. I'll call you tomorrow, and we can get together for lunch, okay?" I didn't fail to notice the pointed look on his face.

"Sure. _Emmett! Let's go!_" Emmett hurried into the kitchen, his tie loose around his neck and a smile on his face.

"Jasper, call me if you want to go back to working out. I know you're busy, but we can fit it in," he offered. It was then I remembered he'd take me to work out when things got to be too much with the cravings, giving me a way to work off steam so I didn't drink to numb the pain.

"Thanks, Em. If I have any extra energy at all to work out, I'll call you," seeing the look on Edward's face. I doubted I'd have the strength to move if I told my man I needed a distraction, but as I stood there watching him, I seriously didn't think I'd suffer the cravings I had in the past. At least, that was the positive energy I was going into it with.

They left, and I put Jake down. He walked to the stove and tugged on Edward's shirt. "Oh, sorry," Edward told him. He reached up in the cabinet and pulled down plates for Jake to set the table. I smiled at how big my son was getting.

I walked over to Edward and kissed his cheek. "How was it, _Daddy_?" he teased.

"It was good. If I didn't know Charlotte would keep Peter from getting on a plane to go kill JR, I'd have made him stay so we could keep an eye on him, _Papi." _

He winked at me. "Trying to woo me with a little Spanish?"

"Baby, whatever it takes," I whispered as Jake scratched a chair on the tile floor, reminding the two of us we weren't alone.

I turned to see him with a look of disgust on his face, and I laughed. "Sorry, son. So, talk to me about school some more. How's the new teacher? Mrs. Harmon, right?"

Jake cracked up as Edward put something delicious on the table. It was some sort of a stir fry with brown rice. He sat down in his chair, looking none too pleased at Jake's laughter. "Okay, guys, what am I missing?" I asked as I served some to Jake.

Jake finally quit laughing and picked up his fork. "It's _Miss_ Harmon, as she told Pop when he picked me up from school the last time. She wants to _kiss_ him…she wants to _date_ him…she wasn't to _marry _him."

I laughed, seeing Edward's face turn bright red. I stopped laughing and turned to my son. "Your mother and _Miss Congeniality, _I swear. So, Mr. Masen, you have an admirer in Jake's teacher?"

It was the most light-hearted I'd felt since I got the phone call from my parents to come to New York. If I could have a similar feeling every day, I'd have no problems, whatsoever.

\\\

_**E/N: So, Jasper didn't lie to Edward. He made a bad decision, but he didn't lie. His parents really did set him up, and yes…how the fuck could you do that to your child? So, what do we think about the way they're handling this issue? Can't wait to hear from you.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N: I'm sorry I'm late, but family issues...ya know? Thank you for your reviews last night. I know I don't have many people who are willing to leave a review, but I appreciate them. So, we had a little drama. Ready for more?**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

27. Dante's "Inferno"

##

EDWARD

When I got out of the cab, I went into the house, seeing Em and Rosalie were already there with Jacob. "I'm back," I called. I'd been so fucking scared when I'd found Jasper in that fucking club, passed out drunk. I'd never seen him that way. When he threw up on me in the cab on the way to the hotel, I was thankful I never had and determined I never would again in the future.

Rosalie strolled into the kitchen, obviously looking for Jasper. I hadn't told her anything about what had happened up to that point, but I needed to give her a head's up on a lot of shit. "Peter took him to a meeting. He'll be home soon."

"What the fuck happened?" she hissed.

I went to the freezer and pulled out frozen chicken breasts to thaw in the microwave. After I punched in the time and started it, I turned to her, pointing to a chair. She sat down as I pulled out a pitcher of tea and two glasses. "What the fuck happened, you ask? Your fucking _father_ happened, Rose.

"He threatened…fuck that, he blackmailed Jasper. I'll let your brother tell you just how much evil of which your father is capable, but I'll make you a promise. I will not let that man hurt Jasper or take Jacob. I will spend myself, Esme, and Carlisle into the poor house to keep any of that from happening."

I was so pissed off, I couldn't sit down. _How dare he? How fucking dare he threaten to blackmail Jasper in order to get Jake? He was fucking crazy!_

"Tell me what he did," she demanded.

"He told Jasper he's going to sell the company and leave him without a job. He said a gay man with a history of alcoholism and no job would have a tough time retaining custody. Are you sure he's your biological father?" I asked, not thinking about the ramifications of that simple question.

She sat there dumbfounded. I expected her to ask what was going to happen to her, but she surprised me. "That bastard! I'm going to guess he had something to do with Jasper takin' a drink. Any idea if there really is a buyer?"

It was in that moment I remembered something. "I don't know, but I've got a phone call to make. When that goes off, will you take them out and put them in a colander to drain? I'll be right back. I'll make enough for all of us and send some home with you and Em. I'm not being rude, but I think Jasper and Jake need some time together tonight," I suggested gingerly as I pointed to the microwave.

She hugged me. "No, problem, brother dear. I'm anxious to see what you're going to make. Go make your call."

I walked into our bedroom and called the one person I hoped wasn't behind the alleged acquisition of _Thorn Publishing_. It rang through to voicemail. "_You've reached Bella. Leave me a message."_

Oh, I left her a message, alright. "It's Edward. Call me back in the morning. I have some things to handle tonight, but…no, don't call me. Meet me for lunch tomorrow at one. If you want your last book, which I've started, you'd better be at 1904 Pike Place." I ended the call and took a deep breath, leaving my phone on the nightstand so I wasn't distracted the rest of the night.

I went to the kitchen and began chopping vegetables. "I'm making a chicken stir-fry with brown rice. All you'll have to do is boil the rice. Are you free tomorrow at one for lunch?"

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through it. "Shit. I have a meeting with department heads."

"Can you move it? This is important."

She looked at me as she tapped out a message on her phone. After, Rosalie stared into my eyes, "Are you going to explain or do I just show up blind?"

I laughed. "You're as bad as your brother. I'm a mystery writer, Rose. Where's your sense of suspense?"

##

After dinner and homework, I excused myself to write while Jasper supervised Jake getting ready for the next day. They read a book and talked for a while, and when Jasper came into the bedroom, he had smile on his face. "Everything okay?" I asked as I closed my laptop.

He smiled as he undressed. When he was down to his boxers, he grabbed his small suitcase he'd taken to New York to unpack it. "He's full of surprises, you know?" I nodded in agreement at his assessment of Jake. The kid was indeed full of surprises.

Jasper tossed his dirty clothes in the hamper and put the suitcase in the closet. When he came out, he walked over to my side of the bed and sat down, taking my hand. "You have my word nothing like this will ever happen again, Edward. I love you far too much to lose you over something as stupid as drinking. I should have quizzed Rose before just blindly hopping on a plane. I should have simply walked out of the house when he put that first drink in front of me and dared me to drink it. I shouldn't have even gone. Next time, and I pray there isn't one, I won't be so naïve."

I pulled him over my body and onto his back, kissing him gently. "I believe you, love. Now, I've got a question. I've done a little research, and I've read it's recommended if you're in recovery, you shouldn't get involved in a relationship for a year. Where does that leave us?"

He ran his hand through my hair and smiled. "We're already _in_ a relationship, so it doesn't really apply to us. I have to learn how to work through any problems we have in our family without turning to alcohol. It's very much like a…well, a couple who are married don't separate because one of them relapses. They work on it, together. There's a support group for friends and families of alcoholics. Maybe you'd be interested in going to a meeting? The people there can offer you support and validation of the feelings you must have with dealing with me. Charlotte goes."

I looked into his eyes and smiled. "I'll call her in a few days. So, um, would it be distracting if we…should I sleep…"

"Nekkid? Damn straight." He hopped off the bed and stripped off completely. I didn't hesitate to do the same. We pulled down the covers and climbed in after Jasper closed and locked the bedroom door.

When he settled in my arms, I turned to face him. "Tell me what you need, love. You know, I'll give you anything," I told him.

He took a deep breath. "I need you to show me you still love me, even with the colossal fuck-up I just pulled. Make love to me," he whispered. I could hear the need in his voice, and I couldn't deny him.

I rolled him onto his back and kissed him gently on his face, neck, and jaw. "I love you. I support you. We're going to get through this together," I whispered against his skin.

He handed me the lube, and after I prepared him, I slipped on the condom and rolled onto my back. "Take what you need from me, Jasper. I love you and I'll give you anything."

He straddled my throbbing cock and worked his way down until I was fully seated inside him. I sat up, wrapping my arms around him. "Move, baby."

God, he did. He braced himself on my chest and moved hard and fast. I held still and allowed him to take what he needed from me as long as I could. I finally collapsed onto my back, putting my hands on his hips and stroking up into him. I couldn't help the moans and groans coming from me as I slammed into him. It felt too fucking good to slow down.

I grabbed his cock and stroked it after I put some lube on my hand. "Fuck, Edward," he gasped as I swirled my thumb around his swollen head. He braced his hands on my chest and stilled his movements just above me, allowing me enough room to pound harder into him.

"Fuck…so close…gonna…" he hissed just before he shot off ribbon after ribbon on my stomach and chest. Feeling his ass pulse as he released pulled me along with him.

"Fucking…fantastic," I whispered as I slowed my strokes to ride out my own orgasm. It felt incredible.

He leaned forward and rested on my jizz-covered body, not seeming to care. Hell, just feeling his weight on me made me not give a fuck either. He rested his head on my chest as we both regained the ability to breath. I was calming down, but he wasn't. His body began shaking, and he began sobbing, which sort of surprised me.

"Jasper, love, what's wrong?" I asked as he continued to sob.

I grabbed the condom as I slipped from his body but he didn't move. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly, feeling his tears on my chest. "Oh, sweetheart, let it out. I love you, Jasper. You and Jake are my life. We'll get through this, my sweet, sweet man."

I brushed my arms up and down his back, kissing his head. When he finally calmed down, he climbed off of me and took my hand. "Shower?"

I rose from the bed and we took a shower. He seemed to need to take care of me, so I let him wash my hair and my body. When I tried to return the favor, he smiled. "I need to feel like I'm taking care of you as much as you take care of us. Thank you for that, by the way."

We went to bed after, and I held him tightly, hoping I was offering him all the comfort he needed. I was in new territory, and maybe one of those meetings would be a good idea. I'd have to call Charlotte and ask her about it. That was the last thing I thought before I fell into a deep sleep.

##

I was standing outside of _Michou Deli_ at Pike Place Market waiting for Bella and Rosalie. It was still a bit early, and I was trying to think of how to broach the subject without giving away too much to Bella I was certain Jasper wouldn't want her to know. His privacy was of the utmost importance.

When they strolled up together, Bella didn't look happy at being summoned, and I didn't give a fuck. "Thank you for making time."

"Like you gave me an alternative?" she asked with a snap in her voice I expected.

I ushered the two of them inside, and after we ordered food, we found a table. Rosalie seemed to be just as confused as Bella, but things were about to become crystal clear and very tense.

"Bella, did you approach Lillian Whitlock to buy _Thorn_? Did she approach you to sell it to you?" I saw Rosalie's eyes snap to Bella's face, and the tell-tale blush on it told me everything I needed to know…and apparently, Rosalie.

"How could you?" Rose demanded.

Bella held up her hand. "I didn't approach them. JR called me. He offered to sell it for under market value if I abided by a few stipulations. I haven't said yes or no. I tried to call you, Edward," she defended.

"What were the stipulations?" I asked as Rosalie worked herself into a tizzy.

Bella swallowed a drink of her iced coffee. "Make a place for Rosalie, but don't hire Jasper. What's going on?" she asked.

I saw Rosalie's face disintegrate into tears. She grabbed her phone, and before she could get away, I grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the chair. "Listen to me, both of you. I won't allow this to get out of hand. How much, Bella?"

"I'm not planning to buy it, Edward. I didn't even let Dad know about the offer. I couldn't do that to Rosalie and Jasper. Hell, I don't know why JR contacted me in the first place," she explained with compassion, giving me a little hope.

I sat for a moment, and then it occurred to me. "I'll tell you why he contacted you. _Me_. He knows I publish through _Swan. _He's pissed about me and Jasper, and he wants to burn me.

"Rose, does he know I was planning to publish a book through _Thorn_?"

"I don't know, but Momma knows because I had to run it by her, what with our plan to branch out our erotica publications. She might have told him after what happened in New York earlier in the month," she offered.

My name was called so I went to retrieve our food since we'd all ordered hot sandwiches. When I returned to the table, I had an idea. I passed out the food and we all dug in. After a few minutes of silence, I took a drink of my tea.

"How much is he asking?" I asked Bella.

"Two million."

Rosalie gasped. "It's worth twice that at least, the son-of-a-bitch."

"Bella what other stipulations are there?" I asked.

"Um, honestly, the only one is I can't hire Jasper under any circumstances, and I have to find a place for Rosalie for one year. I'm not going to entertain it, Edward."

"Is there any period of time you have to hold it before you can sell it?" I felt the excitement building in my chest as plans began ticking themselves off in a list in my head.

"No, why?" She seemed perplexed, and I needed a bit of time to plot it all out, but I would make it work.

"When's your deadline to counter?" I asked.

"Tomorrow by close-of-business," she answered.

"I've gotta go. I'll call you in a few hours," I told them as I wrapped up my sandwich and grabbed my drink. I hurried to my car and raced home for privacy.

I sat at my computer and pulled up my financial spreadsheet, seeing what it would take to carry off my plans. I picked up the phone because I'd need short-term help, and I knew exactly where to get it.

"Hello, son," Uncle Carlisle answered. He always sounded happy to hear from me.

"Hey, old man, you wanna buy a car?"

##

I'd called my financial advisor and explained what I wanted to do. I contacted a realtor to list the apartment, and I'd called a company to pick up the Vanquish for delivery. I was excited with what I was going to do, and when I found out I wouldn't take a bath on the draw to my trust fund, I was happy.

I'd picked up Jake from school, and I'd made him a snack which he was enjoying at the coffee table in the living room. I had a phone call in to Bella, and as soon as she called me back, I could make the appointment I'd scheduled as well.

When my cell rang, I saw it was her, and I answered immediately. "You're getting very demanding, Masen, and you keep waving the new manuscript in front of me. What now?" she asked without waiting for my greeting.

Knowing her, our friendship wouldn't be enough for her to do as I asked. I had to sweeten the deal because she was a savvy businesswoman. I looked into the living room, seeing Jake eating his snack as he worked through his math. I ducked back into the kitchen and began my explanation. "I'll have my first draft finished by Christmas. Here's what I want. You buy _Thorn _under the conditions set out by the Whitlocks. Just make sure none of them carry forward if you sell the company.

"You hold it for three months. I'll give you my draft for the final book and sign over complete control of the series, including future royalties and licenses. You can even hire a ghost to do rewrites. I don't want to touch it again, so you make it whatever you want it to be. I'll promote it as per my contract.

"Now, in exchange for all of that, you sell _Thorn_ to me for what you paid, plus closing costs. Do we have a deal?" I whispered.

"What the hell are you going to do with a publishing house? Why would you be stupid enough…? Does Angela know any of this?" she asked in a high-pitched voice.

I laughed. "Don't worry about it. Do we have a deal?" I asked.

"I'm going to hate myself. I'm going to buy it outside of _Swan._ Fe and I will buy it and hold it for three months. Is Jasper going to kill me?" she asked.

"He'll be pissed, but I'll love him through it. Thank you, Bella," I told her as I hung up.

I went to the living room and sat down with Jake to check his math. Jasper was going to a meeting after work, so we had until six o'clock. "You feel like taking a ride? We can bring home pizza for dinner, but I need your help with something," I told him.

"Are we gonna get in trouble?" he asked with a bright smile on his face.

"Probably," I laughed.

"I'm in," he responded. I loved that kid just like he was my own.

\\\

_**E/N: Damn! Bella was a party to JR's scheme? Okay…she didn't know the other things that were going on behind the scenes, but hang on. See what happens…**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N: HELLO! Thank you for your reviews last night. I'm so happy that even non-slash fans are enjoying this story. You're all wonderful.**_

_**I know you're not liking Bella in this story. It's cool. She's a peripheral character, so I wrote her without a lot of personality; I used her for things I wanted to accomplish like this particular plot point. I'll mention that when Edward was looking for Jasper after he arrived in New York, he had a message on his phone from Bella that he deleted, so she tried to contact someone. **_

_**Let's get to it. We're getting closer to the end, but we have a ways to go yet.**_

_**SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\ **_

28. Out on Your Ear

##

JASPER

"I can't fucking believe this," Lauren complained as we packed up my office. I actually could. My parents had sold _Thorn _to an upstart company, _Faith Publishing._ It sounded like a damn religious company to me, but I had no say in any of it.

I was out on my ass, and I had no idea where I was going to get the money to live after my savings was exhausted. I had a cash-out clause in my contract with my parents, but the proceeds would only last so long.

When I told Edward the news, he held me and told me we'd be fine. He said all things work out the way they should because he needed to finish his draft of his sixth Caine Winslow book, so I'd be around to pick up Jake's schedule, giving him uninterrupted time to write. He also suggested it would be good for me to take a little time off and clear my head, and when I told him I had no idea where I'd get a job, he told me to be grateful for the time to consider my options.

I was trying, but I was damn sure I was going to have a panic attack pretty fucking soon.

"I'm sorry you got caught up in this," I told Lauren. She didn't know it was due to my father and his bullshit, and I couldn't tell her, but I was going to try to help her out.

"Jasper, don't worry about it. I'll find something," she stated with a smile.

"Rosalie has a friend who works in the business. I can call in a favor and see if they have anything for you," I offered.

"Thanks, boss, but I actually got me a temp position at Cheney and Weber. It's in admin, but it'll get me through the holidays. I'll start looking in earnest after the first of the year. We can stay in touch, right? I mean, we've become friends?" she responded with a question in her voice.

I was busy wrapping pictures in bubble wrap and missed the name of the company, but I was glad she had something to tide her over. I snapped out of my self-pity when I heard her ask if we could stay in touch. "Of course we can. Hey, if they need help in the mailroom, put in a good word for me," I teased with a laugh.

She giggled as we finished packing my things. "Well, that's it. Have it delivered to my house at the expense of the company, of course," I told her. She placed labels on the boxes and told me she'd take care of it.

"I'm going home. I'll be just in time to pick up Jake, and maybe we can go for ice cream. Please keep in touch. Maybe we can get lunch when you settle into your new job," I suggested.

She hugged me. "I will Jasper. I know…I have a very good feeling you'll land on your feet. Put out positive vibes into the universe. You're skeptical, but you really have nothing to lose, right?"

I pulled away and smiled. "You're right. I have nothing to lose. Hey, maybe by next year, I'll be running my own company. How optimistic is that?"

She laughed. "That's a great start."

I grabbed my messenger bag and left the building, climbing into my truck. I had time to make a meeting, so I did. I wasn't about to let anything cloud my life. I could have driven right to a bar at that moment because I craved that brilliant fucking burn, but I wasn't about to let it get to me. I had a wonderful son and a wonderful partner. I had a lot more than a lot of people I knew.

After the meeting, I pulled into the carpool line as Edward had instructed. As I was sitting there looking for Jake, I got a text from Edward.

_Love, school called. Jake's in the office. He got into a fight. If you can't get there, let me know and I'll go. I love you, E_

I pulled out of the line and parked the truck. I sent back a text I was already there, and I walked into the school. I found the office and walked in, seeing my son sitting in a chair with his head down and his shirt torn.

There was a boy sitting two chairs down from him, and he had a nasty look on his face when I walked in. His eye was beginning to sport quite a shiner, and he had blood on his chin from his mouth.

I sat down next to Jake and turned him to look at me so I could assess the damage. He had a bloody lip as well, and when I looked down, his knuckles were bloody and bruised. "You wanna tell me what's going on?" I asked quietly. He shook his head.

"You wanna be without television and your Xbox for two weeks?" I threatened.

He looked at me and I could see his mother's defiance in his eyes. "If that's the punishment, I'll take it."

Just as I was about to comment, a very attractive young woman came out of the principal's office and appeared to be surprised when she saw me sitting next to Jake. "Oh, hello. I'm Miss Harmon. Are you Jake's Uncle Emmett?" she asked. I heard the little asshole across from us laugh and I was sure I heard him say '_fag'_. I looked up and saw him looking around the room.

Just then, Sam and his dad, Brady, walked in. I'd met him before when we had a playdate at the Space Needle earlier in the summer, and I wondered what he was doing there.

I turned to the teacher. "I'm Jake's dad, Jasper. What happened?" I asked.

Her face seemed to fall, and I could see what Jake had mentioned regarding Miss Harmon's crush on my boyfriend. She looked at Brady who was in uniform, and then me, and she seemed to be putting things together. Sam sat down next to Jake, and they began whispering.

"Um, well, Jake and James had a bit of an altercation after the bell rang. Jake attacked him and I had to get another teacher to break it up. It was unsolicited, as far as I could tell, so I had no choice but to bring them both to the office." She didn't seem too damn sorry.

"I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing my son would simply attack that boy," I defended.

"Well, they both seem to have crushes on the same girl, so I assume that's what it's about. Vanessa sits next to James in class, and I assigned a project with partners. I believe Jacob was jealous because James and Vanessa are partners. I can't modify the assignments based on the fact they have crushes on each other. It changes from day to day, so Jacob needs to be taught he won't get his way all the time," she sniped, which pissed me off immediately.

Brady stepped forward with a smile. "Hi, Miss Harmon. You remember me? I'm Sam's father, Brady? We met at the back-to-school night. Well, Sam happened to be within earshot when the fight broke out, and the altercation had nothing to do with Vanessa at all.

"I believe there were comments made regarding Sam and Jake were just as queer as their dads and everyone should stay away from Jake because he has AIDS. Is that right, Samuel?" he asked as he turned to his son.

Sam looked up with a shy smile. "Yes, Pop."

As I was about to respond, a man walked in with an angry look on his face. He walked over to the boy and jerked up his face. "You let that fairy hit you? Didn't I teach you how to fight better?"

I looked at Brady because he immediately snapped his head around. He walked over to where the man was standing, and he sniffed him which was a surprise to all of us. He poked the man on the shoulder, and when he turned around, he was pretty surprised to see a cop standing there.

"Are you this boy's father?" Brady asked as he spread his legs a bit and settled his thumbs into his gun belt.

"Oh, this is gonna get good," Sam whispered to Jake.

"I am. What's it to you?" the man responded harshly.

Brady rocked back on his heels a bit and I saw a smile on his face. "Did you drive here today, Mr…?"

"Mr. Forge, and of course I did. I had to take time off work to come here. Who are you?"

James tugged on his father's jeans and the man leaned down. The boy whispered something to him and the man began to laugh. "Oh, so you're that little boy's daddy? Well, that makes sense. All you homos stick together, don'tcha?"

Brady laughed as he turned to look at me. "Can I ask a favor, Jasper? Would you mind taking Sam home with you? I'll call Demitri to pick him up when he finishes his shift. He's been on for twenty-four, but he can stay awake until I get home. Sammy, you behave for Mr. Whitlock, ya hear?" Brady asked.

"What's Demitri do?" I asked, ignoring all the bullshit in the room.

"He's an ER doctor."

"Sam can spend the night with us, and we'll get him to school tomorrow. I'm sure Edward has dinner nearly ready, and we'll help them with homework. You go ahead and do what you have to do," I offered.

"Thank you," Brady announced before he turned to the drunken man standing in front of us. Fuck I was glad it wasn't me.

"Now, Mr. Forge, I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me," he ordered.

"And why would I do that?" the man snapped.

"Because, Mr. Forge, I believe you're intoxicated. I'm afraid you're gonna get to take a ride with me. Is there someone who can pick up your son? Maybe Miss Harmon can sit here until they arrive?" Brady demanded as he stared at the woman.

I looked at Jake and Sam. They were as stunned as I was, but things weren't exactly finished. "Boys, sit here. I'll be right back."

I rose from my chair and walked over to the dumbfounded principal. "I believe you know what you need to know. I'll be taking my son home, and I want him transferred to another class. Any teacher who would turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to bigotry and hatred isn't going to teach my son," I snapped at the woman.

"Mr. Whitlock, I'm sorry, sir. I had no idea. Of course, I'll have Jake moved to another classroom on Monday. Mrs. Stallings is a lovely woman, and I believe she'll be good for Jake. He was placed in Miss Harmon's class because he's so bright, and she's a young teacher, so we thought he'd be more challenged in her class. Obviously, we didn't learn everything about her in the interview. _Miss Harmon_, a word? Mrs. Cope will keep an eye on James until someone picks him up."

The principal turned and left the room. I turned to Jake and Sam. "Well, let's go home, guys."

When we walked into the house, Edward was singing along with the radio, and the smells were incredible. Jake grabbed Sam's arm, dragging him to the kitchen. "Pop, Sam gets to have a sleepover. What'd you make?"

"Hi, Sam. Welcome to our home. Go wash up. I made tacos," Edward informed. The two raced off as I walked into the kitchen.

"What happened to Jake's knuckles and his lip?" Edward asked as he pulled me into his arms.

"From what I gather, he was defending himself against the accusation he has AIDS. It was that James kid, and I can't say this too loud because we need to punish him, but Jake kicked his ass. That kid had blood all over his shirt, and a big ol' black eye. It's awful to be proud of him, isn't it?"

Edward laughed and pecked me on the lips. "I think we're allowed to be proud our son can defend himself against the bullies of the world. How'd you end up with Sam?" I explained it to him, and we both had a good laugh.

Hey, for being fired from my job, the day turned out a lot better than I thought. We had a nice family dinner, helped them with their homework, and the set them up in sleeping bags in the floor of the living room. We had to yell at them a few times, but they finally fell asleep.

I fell asleep on Edward's shoulder, and I hadn't slept better in a long time. He was all I needed, and even though it could have been a dark day for me with regard to the fucking over I got by my parents with my job, he didn't allow it to be that way. I was blessed.

##

I felt a poking on my shoulder and opened my eyes to see Jake standing there with his blanket. It was still dark, so I wasn't sure what was going on. I wasn't wearing anything, and the door had been locked because Edward and I had made love after Jake went to bed.

It was Halloween night, and we'd gone trick-or-treating with Brady, Demitri, and Sam. It was actually Sam's birthday, and we'd had dinner together. His party was the next day, and I was sure Jake couldn't sleep because he was excited about the party and he was probably hopped up on sugar.

"What's wrong, Bud?" I asked, pulling the blankets so they were wrapped firmly around my waist.

"He's at it again. The music woke me up," Jake told me.

I listened and laughed a bit. "Wrap up and climb in. I'll be right back," I told him. Once he was settled on the bed wrapped in his favorite blanket Esme had given him, I slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. I pulled on a pair of pajama pants from the back of the door and then walked down the hallway after closing the bedroom door.

I found Edward sitting on the couch in a pair of my sweats with his computer on his lap. The sound system was on but it was quiet, so something else must have awakened Jake. My man was pounding away at his laptop, and he didn't notice me until I sat down next to him.

He jumped a bit when he felt the couch move, but when he saw me, he smiled. "Back for more, love?"

I laughed quietly. "Actually, our son woke me. Your music, along with the sugar still coursing through his veins, woke him up. You're on a roll, aren't you?" I asked, seeing the light in his eyes.

I'd learned his moods since he'd started writing again, and when his creative juices were flowing, he didn't sleep until he got it all out.

It was truly a good thing I wasn't working because Edward would stay up all night long until he had it all out of his head. It had been an adjustment for Jake and I not to disturb him when he was 'in the zone', but we'd adjusted because when he wasn't inspired, he was right there with us. It wasn't as difficult living with a writer as I'd anticipated.

"I'm at the part where Caine realizes the dog's collar is where the diamonds are hidden. I'm almost tempted to have him declare his love for Andrew, his _Dr. Watson_. That would be a fine send-off, wouldn't it? After all the women he's fucked in these books, it turns out he's gay? Bella would shit herself. Actually, that's what I'm going to do. I'll write a fake ending and then I'll give it to her, holding the real one back just to fuck with her. I'm sorry I woke Jake. He usually sleeps like a rock. Is there something wrong?"

One thing I had learned about Edward was regardless of the situation, if something was going on that was important, he put the laptop away and he was present for his family. It was more than I ever imagined I'd find in a partner.

"No, not really. Your pecking woke him, but that's not new. Is there something wrong with you? You seem a bit keyed-up," I observed.

"I'm nervous about the ending. This one ends the series, and you're sworn to secrecy because I've made Caine an accomplice after the fact. He's finally met his _one_, and she's a thief. They give back the diamonds, but he whisks her off to an island to avoid prosecution and they have a happily-ever-after. I just couldn't leave him with no one. Is it too hokey?" he asked.

I laughed. "Damn, now you've ruined it for me."

"You said you've never read the books," he taunted as he closed his laptop after saving his document.

"I said I _hadn't _read the books, not that I never would. I think the ending sounds great, Edward. I don't think it ruins the series at all. Everyone wants to find true love, right?" I asked as I stood from the couch.

He stood and looked at me. "In your professional opinion, do you think it's the coward's way out?"

I thought about it for a moment and smiled. "Do you plan to write a seventh book?"

"No, I don't. I've exhausted the character in my mind."

"Then, I think it's a perfect ending. If you want to seal the deal with your fans, you can write an epi with them settling into life somewhere with kids, or you can leave it open-ended in case they decide to team up and solve some sort of mystery together. With her being a thief, she could bring an extra dimension to the story. I don't think you jumped the shark on this. I think you've left the door cracked. It's a solid end if you want it to be, but you've left room in case you come up with something in the future. Very smart move, babe."

He leaned forward and kissed me gently. "Thank you, love. Now, do you think Jake's asleep? Can we carry him to bed and go to sleep?"

"We can try," I joked. Of course when we went to our room, Jake was in the middle of the bed, so we both laughed it off and climbed in on both sides of him, reining him in a bit. We fell asleep holding hands over Jake's head, and it wasn't a bad place for me to be. It was pretty great actually.

\\\

_**E/N: I know, things didn't advance far, but Edward finished his book, and we know the publishing house sold. No, Edward hasn't said anything to Jasper yet, but he's busy behind the scenes.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N: Hello! I thought I'd show up at the party a little early for once. Happy Friday. Hope you're all staying warm. **_

_**I know you're upset because Edward isn't telling Jasper about Thorn. We'll get there.**_

_**The title of this chapter is a song I love that I believe fits the chapter perfectly. It's Chely Wright's "Never Love You Enough." I listened to it on a loop when I was writing, and I believe it adds another dimension to the chapter. Maybe it's just me.**_

_**Let's get down to it. SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

29. "_Never Love You Enough"_

##

EDWARD

Jake walked into the room as I was assembling the manuscript to deliver to _Swan_. I had the alternative ending, which would send Bella into the stratosphere, attached to the manuscript, but the real ending was in a sealed envelope I'd addressed to her to put in the mail. I was looking forward to her complaints.

"You ready, Bud?" I asked as I slipped the last chapter into the envelope and sealed it.

"Where's Dad?" he asked. It was a week since Jasper had left _Thorn,_ and times had been tense.

I held my laugh because in reality, it wasn't funny. Jasper was going stir crazy, so he'd gone on a job interview to be a technical reader at a software company. It was for the instruction manuals which accompanied software, and he was actually nervous about it.

I needed to come clean with my love because I couldn't see him suffer any longer, but I had to be certain all the 'i's were dotted and the 'ts' were crossed because I damn well wasn't going to get his hopes up only to crash them down. Jake his mind occupied, and I kept his body occupied, so I knew he wasn't in danger of falling off the wagon, but time was definitely up.

After I had things together and in my messenger bag, I turned to Jake, smiling. "He's on a job interview. We've got a few errands to run before he gets home. I promise you, this is over this weekend. You won't have to keep anymore secrets."

"Is Nana going to have dinner when we get there? She told me I could pick, and I told her I wanted breakfast. Is she gonna make it?" Jake asked.

"She spoils you worse than me. Yes, she'd going to have it because you're the most important person in her life and you always get your way. Now, grab your coat. I need to make a few stops, and then we'll come back and pick up your dad. Things will be a lot simpler after tomorrow, I promise."

We made our stops, and at the last one, Jake looked at me with curiosity. "What's this place?" he asked.

"This is my attorneys' offices. I need to pick up some papers and then we're ready to go, okay?" I asked. I was anxious as we sat in the waiting room. A pretty young receptionist walked over with a bowl of candy and smiled at us.

"Mr. Masen, Mr. Newton is ready for you. You must be Jake. Would you like to stay here with me while your pop goes back to talk to my boss? I've been reading the LOTR books to my little brother, and I understand you like them as well," she coaxed. All she had to do was offer candy. When she mentioned the books, she had his undivided attention.

The law firm I used was a one-stop shop for me, and when I asked my contract attorney for a reference, Eleazer Denali suggested I sit down with Mike Newton for my additional needs.

Mike Newton was damn good at his job as a family law lawyer. He'd obviously listened to my ranting about all the things I loved about Jacob when he tried to dissuade me from my course of action, and he'd relayed information to his staff so the young woman could keep Jacob occupied while we did business. Very smart man.

Jake nodded and I left him in the waiting room, following another girl back to the office. The man was standing nervously at the door to greet me. "Mr. Masen, it's good to see you again. I think I've got what you want. I've made two copies, one for you to give to Mr. Whitlock for his attorney to review, and one for execution. If you'd like any changes after you review them, just call me. I'll be back in the office on Friday, so I can make the changes and e-mail them to you," he responded.

I flipped through a copy of the document to ensure it was as I wished and I was satisfied. "It's exactly as I want it. If Jasper has any changes I'll be in touch, but thank you for getting this together so quickly. I'd like to get this in place as soon as possible so it can be in effect immediately," I responded.

"You get me signed copies, and I'll make sure it's all handled. You understand it has to still go through the system. That can take at least six months, right?" he asked. I was well versed in the process because I'd read up on it as much as possible.

"I get it. Thank you, Mike. I'll be in touch. Happy Thanksgiving," I offered as I grabbed the folder off his desk and left the office. I collected Jake from the pretty receptionist with the big tits that had him mesmerized, and we went back to the car.

"Watch those things. They'll get you into trouble," I told him as he looked back at the girl who'd walked us out and was waving by the parking lot.

"What things?" he asked innocently.

I laughed. "I'm not _Dad_. I know what you were looking at, Bud. You're eight. Far too soon to get caught up in that sort of mess," I teased. He laughed as we went back home to pick up Jasper.

"Hey, just cause you don't like 'em," he teased quietly. I pretended I didn't hear him because I certainly wasn't having the discussion with an eight-year old. Far too soon, he'd be of the age we'd need to talk to him, but not yet…_please_?

##

"How'd it go?" I asked as we were driving out to Forks. Jake was asleep in the back seat, and Jasper hadn't said anything since we'd picked him up.

He sighed heavily. "They thanked me for coming in, and they told me I was too qualified for the job. I was the president of creative development at a small publishing house. They weren't interested in hiring me as a technical reader."

I took his hand and kissed it, knowing how much he was hurting, and I was prepared to stop it that weekend. Things had moved faster than I'd anticipated, and I couldn't leave Jasper in the dark any longer.

"Jasper, I love you, and I know…I know in my heart the right thing will come along. Keep the faith," I told him.

He didn't answer, he just dozed off. When we pulled up the driveway, I leaned over and kissed him gently. He stirred a little, so I licked his ear after I saw Jake was still asleep. When Jasper's eyes opened, he turned to me and caught my lips in a heart melting kiss. I pulled away after the delicious swirling of tongues, and he smiled. "That will always be my favorite way to wake up," he whispered.

I took his hand and looked into those beautiful blue pools of his, unable to contain my smile. "Actually, I think it's your _second_ favorite way to wake up."

I reached down and glossed my fingers over his semi and saw him smile. "Yeah, that's right, darlin'."

We climbed out of the car and hugged Carlisle and Esme. She woke Jake and chatted with Jasper as I turned to Carlisle. "I have all the paperwork and everything that goes with it, and I'm a fucking mess."

He laughed. "If you weren't, I'd wonder if you were human. You should have seen me, back in the day."

"_You_ were worried? I'm screwed," I complained. Uncle Carlisle was the smoothest man I knew. If he was a mess back in the day…I was fucked.

He turned me to see Esme with her arm around Jake's shoulders as she led him to the house. Jasper was looking at us with a beautiful smile on his face. "I'd say you've got a leg up. Come on," Carlisle ordered. The look on Jasper's face gave me hope. Fuck, if I didn't need it. I needed a lot of hope and luck on my side with what I was trying to pull off. It would take a fucking miracle.

##

I woke on Thanksgiving morning after a restless night's sleep. I'd stewed if I was doing the right thing, tossing and turning all night long so much Jasper had kicked me out of the bedroom and into a spare room.

"_Jesus H. If you can't sleep, don't make me fucking miserable, Edward. I'll go sleep in the other room, or you can, but if you're going to continue to fight with the sheets, one of us has to leave this bed," he complained._

"_I'm sorry, love. I'll go."_

I listened to the sounds of the house, and no one was up. I got up and walked down the hallway quietly. I checked to see Jake was still sleeping. I laughed at the way he was tangled in the blankets, much like Jasper was found to be on any given day, but I closed the door, seeing the clock on his bedside table. It was only six.

I went to our bedroom and pulled out the documents and the box I'd brought along. I placed them on the bedside table and bounced on the bed, knowing it would piss off Jasper. When his eyes shot open, I could see he was extremely angry at having been awakened so harshly.

"Goddamn, Edward. What the fuck has gotten into you?" he groaned as he turned over to his left side away from me, pulling his pillow over his head.

I crawled up next to the nightstand and turned on the light, whispering into his ear, "I need to talk to you about a few things, and they can't wait." I slipped my tongue over the shell of his ear, and he batted me away, causing me to laugh.

_Okay, it was time for music. _I slipped my iPod into the docking station by the bed, found the song I wanted, and when the woman began singing quietly over the speakers, I whispered the lyrics into his ear.

_If all of my life I try and I try  
>Baby I could never show you<br>All this love I have inside  
>'Cause every day when we wake<br>I look deep into your eyes I realize_

_I could kiss you in the rain forever_  
><em>Turn all of your pain to pleasure<em>  
><em>Fill up all your days with sunlight<em>  
><em>Make the passion last every night<em>  
><em>Give you my every possession<em>  
><em>Make you my only obsession<em>  
><em>Climb up to the sky and pull down all the stars above<em>  
><em>But I could never love you enough.<em>

…

(Chely Wright. "Never Love You Enough." Copyrighted 2001, MCA Nashville.)

As the song ended, his eyes opened and he turned to look at me as I whispered the last line of the lyrics. "Well, you've got my attention, darlin'."

I took a deep breath and handed him the file. As he sat up to open it, I stilled him. "Wait, I need to ask you something first. This is…hell, I love you. These months with you have been exactly as I envisioned our life would be back in college, but I didn't think we'd be lucky enough to have Jacob.

"Watching him every day makes me smile. He's so full of life, and it's joyful to be around him, Jasper. I want to witness it the rest of my life."

I took another deep breath. "I want to witness it as your husband. Please, will you marry me? I want us to have a great life, and I want no uncertainty between us. Jasper Randall Whitlock, will you marry me?" I asked as I held out the diamond encrusted band with an emerald embedded in the center. Jake helped me pick it out after I told him some of my plans, months prior, and he'd kept it all a secret. I owed the kid a pony for that shit.

He looked at the ring and then looked at me. "You…you want to marry me? After all of this shit, you want to _marry_ me?"

I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his, pulling back. It took everything inside me to do it, but we needed to talk. "I don't know if you're aware, but it's legal for us to marry in the state of Washington. Yes, I'd love you to marry me. Will you?"

He took a deep breath. "I'm an out-of-work alcoholic with an eight-year-old son who isn't mine. You seriously wanna marry this hot mess?"

I grazed my lips over his again and pulled away, stroking his cheek with the back of my knuckles. "It's amazing how two people who know each other so well can see things so differently. What I see when I look at you is the most amazing man I've ever met in my life. I see a loving father and an incredible partner who gives everything he has to the people he loves. How on earth could I not want to tie myself to that?"

I saw him blush a little and he looked down. I lifted his chin to look into those blue eyes that had haunted me for years. "Jasper, will you please do me the honor of marrying me?"

I saw the tears, but he stuck out his left hand and smiled through them. "I'd love nothing more than to marry you, Edward. You're…you're my dream come true," he sniffed.

I slipped the ring on his hand and kissed him gently. I prayed the rest of it would go as well.

"Thank you, love. Now that you've accepted, I have an engagement gift for you. _Do not_ get pissy about this or I'll make good on my threat to put you over my knee," I teased as I pulled out the papers for the publishing house. I had to thank Bella for her quick response when we made the deal. She was a gem. Of course, she got a hell of a lot out of it as well. The girl wasn't stupid.

I handed him the papers, and he leafed through them. "Wait…what?"

I didn't say anything. He had to read it through and I wasn't going to piss him off…well, I hoped not. When he got to the end of it, he looked at me. "You're fucking kidding me?"

I laughed. "I'll fuck you, if that's what you're asking, but as far as kidding goes, no. You're the owner of the former _Thorn Publishing._ Those papers transfer ownership from me to you. Rosalie now works _for_ you. The place is all yours. You want to call JR, or you want me to, because I'd love to call that prick and tell him where to go," I announced.

"Edward, this is…"

"Don't even start with me. It's y_ours._ It's my gift to you. You know the business, Jasper. I've signed over all rights, licenses, and royalties for the Winslow books to _Swan._ I have to do publicity, but I don't have to touch the manuscript again. She's hired a ghost for edits, and anything I come up with going forward is yours.

"Just so you know, the way I structured the deal with Bella, she kept everything separate from _Swan Publishing_, so you don't have to worry about any of your writers jumping ship. The only thing you have to worry about is trying to keep me motivated so I come up with an ending to the Cole Brooks story," I teased.

He laughed and leaned forward to kiss me, tossing the folder aside. As much as I wanted to go where I was sure he was leading, I still had one more thing to ask him. I pushed him back as he started to push me down. "We're not even married yet and already sex is out the window?" he teased with a smile.

"Most definitely not. I'm not done, though. I've got something I want you to give me in return," I baited. I reached to the floor where the folder had landed and picked up the copies of the other document.

"I'll give you anything, Edward," he whispered.

I took a deep breath. "I'd like you to give me your son. Well, not give him to me, but share him with me. I'd like to adopt Jake," I responded as I placed the petition for adoption on his lap.

He glanced down and read through the first few paragraphs. "I…I'm speechless. I had no idea you'd want to…This is unbelievable." I could tell he was stunned, but I needed to further explain myself.

"Look, there are many reasons why I want this, the most important reason being I love him very much. We have tickets to leave on Friday to go to Germany to meet with Jared Stone at Patch Barracks in Stuttgart to get him to sign over his parental rights to you and sign an affidavit in support of the adoption proceedings for me to adopt Jake.

"My attorney worked it out with an old connection of mine at the Pentagon. Stone wants his wife to find out about this as much as he wants a hole in the head. He has three kids of his own younger than Jake, and when my contact mentioned to Stone he was Jake's only living parent and he'd need to arrange for Jacob to be brought to Germany to live with his family, Stone was quite receptive to any other arrangement. He wasn't married when he and Alice got together, so he doesn't want his past to bite him in the ass. That's what he told my attorney."

I took in the look on Jasper's face, and I knew I needed to bring things to a head. "Here's the bottom line, love. Stone underwent a paternity test at the urging of my attorney who threatened to notify the Army he'd not paid a cent in child support, and Uncle Carlisle's going to do one on Jake as soon as you say it's okay. We'll have the results by the time we get to Germany, and then everything will be packaged up, nice and tight when we stop on our way back home…through New York.

"This shit with your parents…your dick of a sperm donor…stops now," I concluded. I looked into Jasper's very handsome, very concerned face, and I waited for his response.

The cards were on his table, after all. I prayed I had a winning hand.

\\\

_**E/N: So, there's Edward's master plan. He bought the publishing house from Bella as soon as he had his finances in place, and then had his people get the papers together so he could give it to Jasper. He also had Jake's adoption papers drawn up, which is what he and Jake stopped at the lawyer's office to pick up (in case that wasn't clear). Next chapter…Germany.**_

_**Just a reminder…two more chapters and an epi. I hate it's winding down. I love these guys.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N: Happy Saturday! Hope you're all in good health and good spirits. Thank you for your reviews of last night's chapter. I continue to be blown away!**_

_**Let's get to it.**_

_**SMEyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

30. _Willkommen in Deutschland_

##

JASPER

"Nana, can Gramps and me have our pie in front of TV? There's a movie on he wants to watch," Jake asked as he helped carry dishes into the kitchen after the fantastic meal Esme had made for us. I'd notice Carlisle led Jake off to the side where whispers were exchanged, and I wondered what was really going on.

I wasn't sure if he was a good influence on my son, but I could tell Carlisle enjoyed having a partner-in-crime.

Esme giggled. "I don't know how you or _Gramps_ could have any room for pie right now, but when it's time, you may eat in the TV room. Now, can you take all the linens into the laundry room and put them in the basket for me?"

Jake nodded and hurried back to the dining room. Esme walked over to me and hugged me. "You guys are leaving early. Go ahead and start packing. We'll get Jake home and off to school on Monday morning. What time does your flight get in on Tuesday?" she asked.

I was still fucking reeling from everything, but I knew how organized Edward was, so why was I surprised at everything he'd done? My own rattled brain couldn't begin to offer me a logical answer.

Edward sighed. "Depending on how things go with JR and Lilly when we lay all this shit on them in New York, we could get a late afternoon flight out of LaGuardia on Monday, but I'm going to guess it'll be late Tuesday night, early Wednesday morning."

She smiled and pinched his face. "Take your time and make sure all this BS is handled so it doesn't ruin Christmas."

I watched it all as if I was in a vacuum. It couldn't possibly be going my way? Nothing…_nothing_ ever went my way.

##

"Are you sure he's going to show? He's late," I complained as we sat at a place called "_Die Bar_" on Augustenstraße in Stuttgart. Edward had someone track down Jared Stone, and we were going to put an end to uncertainty regarding any further claim he had over Jake. I was holding my breath until everything was completed, fighting the overwhelming fear until everything was sorted.

_Before we boarded the plane from our layover in London, I had an hour long discussion with Peter. I was stressed about the trip, and Edward hooked me up with an overseas phone card and a private phone booth in the first class terminal. _

"_So, you okay?" Peter asked. I truly laughed like a girl because I had so many things to be thankful for, even with the uncertainty surrounded our mission to Germany._

"_I'm thankful for you taking time out of your holiday weekend to talk to me. I'm thankful for my gorgeous fiancée who made certain I got a mini-meeting in the middle of our travels, and I'm thankful I have a fucking life to go back to after all of this is over. _

"_I'm going to be okay in Germany, Peter. If I feel myself slipping, I'll make Edward distract me. He's very good at distraction."_

_Peter cleared his throat. "Okay, okay. We'll see you guys next weekend. Call me anytime, Jasper. I'm right here for you." I had a lot of reasons to be grateful. _

"Here he is," Edward told me as he stood from our table where we were sharing a bottle of still water. The waitress, or whatever she was called, wasn't happy when we ordered it, but I didn't give a shit.

I turned to see a man who looked a lot like my Jacob looking frantically around the bar. He was fairly tall and bulky as men came, but there were a lot of attributes Jake had picked up from his biological father which led me to believe Billy Black knew more about Jake's father than he'd ever let on.

I waved to him, and he hurried over to the table, pulling his hat low on his head as if trying to hide. I laughed.

"Are you scared you'll get judged for being with two gay men, or do you owe people money?"

He scooted the hat back a bit, and I saw his brown eyes…my son's eyes. "I'm sorry. I really don't mean to be an ass about this, but if my wife finds out anything about this, I'm in a world of hurt. Just give me the papers and I'll sign them," Jared stated quietly.

Edward laughed. "Sorry. We're waiting for the officiant to certify the documents because we're outside the US. If you'd have only met us on base, we could have avoided all of it, but…we'll have to wait for Stefan."

Jared sighed as he flagged down a waitress. "Weihenstephaner," he ordered. She seemed to curtsy before she hurried away.

He looked at me. "This won't bother you, will it? Alice told me you were an alky one time when we met up. I can cancel it." He wasn't exactly nice, but he wasn't as rude as he could have been, so I brushed it off.

"I have too much to lose if I drink, so no, you don't have to change your order. Do you want to see pictures of Jake? He'll be nine in…"

He held up his hand. "The less I know, the better I am. You'll take care of him right? You're going to adopt him, right?" he asked Edward. Edward nodded, not offering any commentary.

"Well, I guess I'm fine with my offspring being raised by queers. They say it's genetic, not a choice, so since neither of you are his blood relative, I guess that's fine," the ass said as the girl delivered his beer.

I wanted to break the stein over his head, but I held my tongue. Edward, however, didn't. "Oh, so you think that little boy…that sweet, loving little boy who carries your DNA…will be better off with us than on the streets because you have no desire to even fucking meet him? How kind of you, you selfish prick.

"How would your wife feel about you continuing to fuck Alice after you got married and had your kids? I bet she'd be interested in that little bit of information; likely as much as Alice would have liked to know you were lying to her about being single. Don't worry, you sorry piece of shit, Alice didn't tell her who she was when she called your house because you wouldn't call her back. You're dirty little secret is safe as long as you sign the papers and never approach Jacob as long as you live."

I could tell Edward was getting pissed because his voice was getting louder, and as I glanced around the beer hall, I noticed a lot of camouflage-covered men and women glancing our way. The two of us getting our asses kicked wasn't something I wanted to consider.

Just then, a tall, thin man with a horrific buzz cut waltzed up to our table, placing his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Masen, I haven't seen you in years," the man stated as he hugged my fiancée around the shoulders.

Edward rose from his seat next to me and hugged the man in return. "Stef, it's good to see you. You're a fucking sucker for the cold. Don't you find the shrinkage to be troublesome?"

The man, Stefan, laughed as he pulled away. "You're still a fucking Cretin. So, now, what can I legalize for you? I have a date after this. The next time you show up, please give me more than an eighteen-hour notice so I can plan a proper evening."

"Stef, this is my fiancé, Jasper. Jasper, this is an old friend, Stefan Zorne," Edward introduced.

Jared sat back, taking it all in. Before Stefan and I could acknowledge each other, Stone spoke up in an agitated tone. "So, can we get this over with? I need to get back home."

Stefan took a seat, pulled out a kit, and asked for the papers. Edward handed him the first set, and as he glanced through them, he looked up at me and then Jared. He turned to Jared and cleared his throat. "You sure you wanna do this, man? This is forever."

"Give me a fucking pen," Jared demanded. Stefan handed him a pen and had him sign the copies of the papers and a ledger he had with him, after which he took a picture of Stone's military ID with his iPhone. He stamped something in the ledger and signed his name as well.

He reviewed the next set of papers and turned to Edward. "You sure about this, Edward?"

Edward pulled out his phone and scrolled through pictures. He found what he wanted and handed it to Stefan. The man scrolled through the series and smiled. "I get it. So, is that sparkler on your finger a promise?" he asked as he pointed to my engagement ring on my left finger.

I smiled as I took Edward's hand and stroked his naked finger, having vowed to get him something similar to show he was taken until we made it official. "It is. He surprised me Thanksgiving morning so I haven't had a chance to…"

"Can we get this shit done? You three fags can sit here and…" One second, Jared was complaining at the table, and suddenly, he was flat on his back on the floor with Stefan's forearm over his throat. It happened so fast I didn't even see movement.

Stefan leaned forward and smiled the most evil smile I'd ever witnessed in my life. "I thought the military offered sensitivity training after the repeal of Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell. I'll have to check on that with the General when I get back on base." With that, he stood up and pulled the man up from the floor with one hand, forcing the pen into his hand for him to sign the affidavit.

I, however, was in shock. Stefan wasn't a large man, but damn, he appeared to be lethal. Edward leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "Army Ranger. Sniper. He's transferred to the diplomatic corps, but he works for a General. It's always nice to see justice meted out right in front of you, isn't it?"

"How'd you meet him?" I asked, not sure I wanted the answer. Edward coughed a bit, and I held up my hand. "Never mind."

Stefan laughed as he packed away his supplies. He turned to Jared Stone, who appeared scared shitless as he stood at the table. "I have your name, rank and serial. I know your company, and everyone in your chain-of-command. I also have access to your military record. You don't stand behind these papers? I'll make your life a fucking nightmare. Get the fuck out of here, Stone."

Jared scrambled away, and Stefan sat down with us, smiling. "I love fucking with homophobes. So, I'm sorry to cut this short, but as I mentioned I've got a tall, dark, and handsome waiting for me at a nice hotel, and I plan to get very, very freaky. Come back and visit again when you two can stay longer. I think we could have a lot of fun," Stefan requested.

We all stood from the table and he and Edward hugged again. Stefan whispered something, and Edward pulled away with a laugh. "I don't think you'd win that challenge. He likes mine because it's not cut. Talk soon? Next time you're stateside, come visit." As the man started to leave, Edward touched his arm. "Stef, you have no idea how much I appreciate this."

Edward kissed his cheek and Stefan returned the sentiment. With that, he flitted out and Edward took my hand, throwing Euros on the table before he gathered up the files we'd need.

"So, we're going to New York next?" I asked.

He smiled. "Yeah, love. Time to slay the dragon."

##

We were on the plane waiting to be cleared for takeoff when Edward's phone beeped. He pulled it out of his carry on and opened it, smiling at the test message he'd received. After he typed a response, he handed it to me with a devious smirk. I scrolled up and read:

_Edward, you little shit! I'm gonna castrate you when you get your ass back to Seattle. You gave me no indication you were going to out Caine and have him declare his love for Andrew. There's nothing in any of the other books that even makes it a question! Have you lost your fucking mind? Has Jasper fucked your brains out? How do I fix this because I have no idea who the robber is in this book because you never said? I'm going to hurt you when you get home. Bella_

I glanced at Edward to see he was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face. "You are truly evil," I joked.

"It gets better. Read my response."

_Now, Bella, you know you don't mean any of that. You're a smart girl. I'm sure you and your ghost writer can bring it around. Hell, that last chapter is only twenty-nine pages. Maybe the butler did it? TTFN. EAM_

I laughed again. Well…he definitely had a leadership quality about him, that man-o'-mine. He wasn't one to shy away from a battle, and I'd stand by him for every one of them. I also had the comfort of knowing he'd be there for me as well.

\\\

_**E/N: There you go. That was the pig that is Jared Stone. Hope you enjoyed that little smack down. Tomorrow night is our last regular chapter, then the epi.**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N: Ah…here we are at the end. I have to thank you all for your love and support during this rollercoaster. I know a lot of you weren't happy with certain aspects, but if there weren't ups and downs along the way, it would be a very boring story, IMHO.**_

_**Let's not waste time. SMeyer owns. I borrow.**_

_**\\\**_

31. How to Slay Your Dragon

##

EDWARD

_Jasper and I stood at the elevator of his parents' building, and I could feel his hands shaking. He had the key in his hand, and he couldn't get it into the lock, so I took him over to the side and sat the two of us on a bench._

"_Jasper, baby, you know I love you. Let me go up there and do this without you. Let me lift this burden from your shoulders. There were so many I didn't lift, but let me take this one." _

_I wanted to take him out of the equation, and if I was being honest, it was selfish because I wanted to nail John Randall Whitlock to the fucking wall. He needed the spanking I was going to give him, but I wouldn't hurt Jasper because, at the end of the day, they were still his parents._

_He took off the ring I'd given him and slid it into the pocket of my slacks. "Safekeepin', darlin'. We come out of this alive, I want it back. Daddy's not one to shy away from a fight, and I don't want to give him any ammunition to get us off track. If you'll just hold onto it for the time bein', I think I'm ready to face the devil."_

_With that, he rose from the bench and shoved the key into the keyhole by the elevator with a lot more confidence, turning it twice to the left before hitting the button for the penthouse. As the elevator rose, I kissed him with every ounce of love and support in my body._

_Over the time we'd been together, we'd made love many times. Back in college, Jasper made love to me more than me to him, but in this incarnation of our relationship, he was more than willing to allow me to lead the two of us when we were together. I just hoped he'd acquiesce to the way I had planned this little come-to-Jesus meeting because I wasn't used to losing. I'd lost once. I'd never lose again._

_I'd tipped out the concierge so he wouldn't call upstairs to announce us, so when the elevator dinged, I was happy not to be met with a shotgun. I took Jasper's hand and kissed his lips softly. "You and me. We can do anything." Yes, I was quoting Dave Matthews out of context, but he got it._

_I hit the doorbell and when the door opened, I was surprised to see Lillian Whitlock standing there with surprise on her face._

"_Where's Maria?" Jasper asked as he forced the door open and led me inside._

_Lilly took a deep breath. "She decided this wasn't the best position for her, so she quit shortly after your last visit. What are you doing here, Jasper?"_

_I took a deep breath and looked at Jasper one last time. "You wanna?" I asked because it should be his place to tell off his parents._

_He stood to his full six-one, and wrapped an arm around my waist. "I think I might like to lead it off. Can I have my ring?"_

_I reached in the pocket of my slacks and placed it on his extended left hand. I heard his mother's breath hitch, but I didn't give a flying fuck. I leaned forward and kissed his lips. "Feels right, yes?" _

_He kissed me back. "More right than breathing as a matter of fact. I'm not gonna be a pussy about any of this."_

_He then turned to his mother. "Where's JR?"_

"_Jasper, tonight's not a good night for whatever you're plannin', son. Your daddy's on a tear. Why don't you and your friend go to a hotel, and I'll come see you tomorrow," she implored._

_Jasper took my hand and smiled. "You got it all sorted? I want it to go down in blitzkrieg fashion, darlin'. No room for doubt or squirmin'. You want a minute to look at it?" he asked._

_I knew the second we walked into that arena it was going to go badly. I'd sorted shit, and as I looked at the last text from Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme, I knew I had everything I needed._

_**We love you both. Hurry home. Jake pulled another loose tooth. What's the rate? Sending positive thoughts your way. Esme and Carlisle**_

_I looked at Jasper with a smile. "I'm thinking maybe Universal Studios in Florida for the honeymoon? We can get Emmett and Rose to go with us. Maybe Mom and Dad? Think about it." He nodded and I kissed him softly once again._

Jasper walked up to me and pulled me out of the fog of that day. "What are you thinking about, Mr. Whitlock," he teased. I'd changed my name when we married because there were no Masens left, and there were two Whitlocks I wanted to make my family, so after our little wedding ceremony which was nothing to write home about but exactly what we wanted (Judges chambers with only close friends and family), I petitioned the court to change it.

"I was just thinking about the last time we were at the courthouse after the last time we saw your folks," I told him. I saw the slow smile on his face as he gazed out the windows of the second floor of the courthouse.

##

JASPER

His reminder of the last time I'd seen my parents…seven months' prior…had me remembering the events as well.

_When I pulled away from a wonderful kiss, I took Edward's hand and the folder, leading him to the office where I was sure my father was getting smashed. I released Edward's hand and quickly rapped on the door and opened it without waiting for an answer._

_JR spun his chair around as he was on the phone, and I could tell immediately he wasn't happy to see me standing there with Edward. "Hang up, Daddy. We need to have a talk," I announced firmly, embracing my _Texas_ all the fuckin' way._

_I looked at Edward and he smiled, offering his hand which I took again. I led him to the two leather chairs in front of my father's desk, and we took a seat as my father signed off the phone call, pissed off enough to beat the band._

"_I can't possibly imagine what the hell has you here? Not because of the holiday, I'm sure?" JR snapped._

_I chuckled. "As a matter of fact, we had a great holiday, didn't we, darlin'?" I asked as I turned to Edward._

_He smiled. "Mom and Dad said Jake lost another tooth. I told them ten was acceptable. He's saving up for a new bike, Jasper," Edward teased. I knew it was grating on my father's nerves, and I loved it._

_JR stood and knocked back a shot of Maker's, just as I expected. I knew he hated the holidays because no family came around, and I could have guessed he'd be gassed. "What do you want, Jasper? We've already closed on the publishing house. You're too late to accept my offer, but I guess you figured that because you had the guts to bring that faggot into my home again."_

_I took the folder from Edward and flipped the first contract onto his desk. "I heard about the closing, as a matter of fact."_

_JR flopped down in the chair, picking up the document as he pulled on his glasses. In typical fashion, he glossed over it before he began reviewing it in earnest. "No. This isn't… She…"_

_I turned to Edward and smiled. "It's all yours, baby."_

_He kissed my finger where my ring rested and looked at me. I nodded, and he took a deep breath._

"_Your attorney is a fucking moron, no disrespect intended, Mr. Whitlock. Bella and her husband bought _Thorn_ under an umbrella company, _Faith Publishing_. It's in no way affiliated with _Swan_, so you didn't do anything to hurt me. Sorry to disappoint you. _

"_When I figured out your angle, I got Bella to buy it and hold it for three months, and then I bought it for Jasper. He is now the sole-owner of _Thorn Publishing_. It's my wedding gift to him, as a matter of fact, and I bought it for what you sold it to Bella. Thanks for being such a vindictive prick because it's worth twice what I paid, and oh, with my new exclusive contract to _Thorn_, I believe Jasper's going to be very rich and there isn't one fucking thing you can do about it."_

_Edward took a deep breath and let it out, smiling at me. "Your turn, love."_

_I laughed. I pulled copies of the executed documents we had from Jared Stone, along with the DNA test results Carlisle had faxed us before we left Germany, along with Edward's petition for adoption, and I placed them in front of my father as I stood in front of his desk. "Daddy, you want a drink?" I walked over to his bar and poured a couple fingers of Maker's in a glass, placing it in front of him._

"_You might wanna drink that before you see those papers, Daddy. Seems I've called your bluff after all this time?"_

_I turned to Edward. "So, a big thing or a small thing? I don't want it to drag out. Maybe in the spring? Jake will be nine in February. Maybe when he has Easter break?" I asked quietly._

"_I think that sounds great. Are we gonna…"_

"_You have got to be fucking kidding me," JR slurred as he reviewed the papers, pulling his glasses off and holding them up to the papers as if they were magnifying glasses. _

_I knew he wouldn't go down easily, and at the end of the day, I was prepared to fight him…physically if necessary…because I was ready to give up having him as a member of my family. The loss would really be minimal because as things stood, I had Esme, Carlisle, Mary, Fred, Rosalie, Emmett, Billy Black, Peter and Charlotte, along with my boys…Edward and Jacob. Hell I had a lot of family._

_I chuckled as I retook my seat. "No, JR, I'm not kidding at all. You'll find the document relinquishing parental rights from Jared Stone who is the biological father of Jacob. You'll also find an affidavit in support of Edward adopting Jacob from the only living biological parent, along with the petition to adopt Jake. There's also a power of attorney giving me control over any decisions necessary for Jacob as well as unfettered custody. You still wanna fight it?"_

_I took a deep breath and sat forward in my chair. "I bet you want that drink now, don'tcha? I mean, surely there's a judge in the country that would give custody to a third-party drunkard who used to beat his wife and verbally abuse his gay son, right? That wouldn't cause a problem at all, would it?"_

"_Jasper!" I heard my mother gasp._

_I turned to her and smiled. "I'm sorry, Momma. Was that too _rude_ for your southern sensibilities? Do you not remember those black eyes you tried to hide from Rose and me? _

"_You don't remember how he acted when I lost Edward? 'Serves you right for bein' a fag.' And when you tried to offer me any comfort because of my breaking heart? You think I didn't hear him yellin' at you and the slaps and tears? Momma, you're as delusional as I used to be, but that's not me anymore. _

"_If you wanna get away from him, you'll always have a place in our home…the home Edward and I are building for Jake. Otherwise, I fear I'm going to have to tell you I love you, and leave it at that," I told her honestly. I knew it was what I needed to do, but it wasn't easy because I did love her. She was my momma._

_I saw her glance at my father who had actually passed out on his desk. I took her hand. "Miss Lilly, you know this isn't the life you wanted. Don't stay here with him. You're so much better than this. Come home with us. Edward and I will make a place for you in our home, Momma. He loves me, and he has a forgiving heart. Please? Jake loves you," I offered, hoping she'd listen._

_She smiled at the two of us before she walked over to the wall, lifting a painting to reveal a safe I knew nothing about. She spun the dial and when it opened, she reached inside to pull out a portfolio before returning to the couch with a smile. "This is everything you'll need for _Thorn_. It's the history of it, and all the contracts. There are some very good authors on book who your daddy refused to publish. He didn't like their politics, but I kept them under contract. This is yours, Jasper, and I'm so proud of you. I know that doesn't mean much, but I am proud of you. _

"_Get out of here before he comes back around. I won't bother you two, but if you could let me know about Jake every once in a while, I'd appreciate it," she whispered. I kissed her cheek, grabbed the portfolio, and led my fiancé out of the building, ready to start our new life._

"Edward, Jasper? They're ready for you," Tyler announced as we sat in the hallway of the courthouse. All of our family and friends were present for the event, and I was quite happy about it. Jacob even wore a suit without complaining…much…which was monumental.

"No offense, guys, but when this is over, there better be food. I'm still pissed at you for that stunt you pulled, Edward. You have no idea how detailed I was at plotting your death before that package came with the real ending," Bella complained as she rubbed her baby bump. She and Felix had finally decided to start their family, and we were very happy for them. Maybe I didn't agree with the way she handled certain things, but she helped Edward out with buying _Thorn_ when he needed it, and that was something I wouldn't forget. She was a friend of my husband's and I could learn to forgive her…in time.

We all rose from our seats to walk into the judge's chambers…the same judge who'd married us. I reached down and took Jake's hand, leading him over to the side to check with him one more time. "You're okay with this, right? This is what you really want?" I asked him one final time after I bent a little to be at his eye level.

He smiled and nodded his head. "Dad, how many times I gotta tell you I want Pop to be my other real dad. Heck, considering some of the kids in my class only have one parent, I'm lucky to have two. He already has our name, so it seems right he's legally 'sponsible for my behavior if I become a rebellious teenager."

My eyebrows shot up into my hair. "Where the heck…"

Jake giggled loudly, drawing everyone's attention as he turned to Edward and smiled. "Pop, I told him what you said. Look at his face." He turned me to look at Edward, who laughed as well.

Edward shook his head. "Come on, you two. Let's make this official."

We went through all the formalities of the adoption, and after the judge signed off on the paperwork, we took pictures at Mary, Esme, Rosalie, and Charlotte's insistence. Billy couldn't be there because he was moving to an assisted living facility he was excited about, but he wanted pictures.

He'd become another grandfather figure to Jake, and like a father to me. I suspected he might have an inkling Jake was related to some people he knew, but he never said a word about it. He just loved us without question.

I was so grateful for the family we'd created I thanked the universe for it every fucking day. Billy's daughter and the slug she was married to were going to put him in a nursing home to get him out of the house, but I stepped in and found a better place. Edward and I were paying what Medicare didn't cover, but it was worth it to us. We cared about him very much.

"Can we go to the restaurant now?" Jake asked, getting impatient with all the hugs, kisses, and flashbulbs going around the room.

Everyone laughed, and Esme stepped forward. "You wanna ride with Gramps and me?" Jake nodded and headed for the door. I walked over to where Edward was speaking with Tyler in time to hear, "…not impossible, Edward, but it's not nearly as easy as this one was. I've found it's easier to have an egg…"

Tyler looked up and smiled. "Lo and I will meet you guys at the restaurant. Edward, call my office sometime and we'll talk about it if you're interested." He walked off, taking my assistant, Lauren with him.

I turned to my husband and smiled. "What was that about?"

Edward smiled. "You know me, love. Always thinking about the future. So, shall we go? My parents hijacked our son…_God!_ It feels so good to say it out loud and have the paperwork to back it up. Let's go feed Bella before she starts taking it out on Felix. Thank you, my love, for sharing your son with me. I love you."

We all went to cars, Edward and me climbing into the Town Car he'd contracted for the day. I was happy we weren't driving ourselves. I got to hold his hand and cuddle with him without fear of crashing, and he kissed me in celebration of what we'd accomplished that day.

I closed my eyes as my head rested on his shoulder. As I reviewed all the changes that had taken place in the last year, my mind boggled. If one thought about them as a collective, it was something akin to a fucked-up fairytale.

Seeing us on the other side of it, along with all of the people in our lives, was monumental. The only explanation I had was someone was looking out for all of us. The transformation for all of us had started because of a book. It took a lot of forgiveness for us to get to the place we were now, but in the end it was worth it.

The _Seven Heavenly Virtues_ are listed as chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, humility, and last but not least, forgiveness. I was convinced, while I didn't live up to many of them, the man I married embodied all of them…most of all, forgiveness. I had every faith he'd teach them to our son as well. Jacob would grow to be a great man, in spite of the flawed people in his past, me being the most of them.

I was sure if his mother was able to look down on the events of the day, she'd smile. Alice was troubled in life, but if she could see the smile on Jacob's face as he and Edward watched television, played chess, or kicked the soccer ball in the back yard, I was sure she'd be as happy as me. I'd forgiven her along the way, and I prayed she'd forgiven me as well for my shortcomings. Forgiveness, after all, is a virtue.

\\\

_**E/N: So, there we go. We'll see how happily ever after they lived when I post the epi.**_

_**I'd love to thank all of you who read the story. I know all of you didn't feel compelled to leave comments, but thank you for reading.**_

_**To those of you who left comments…thank you. Thank you for caring about the characters so much that you got upset over certain events that took place and that I had to really work to get you to forgive Jasper for cheating on Edward. I love you for your lovely words.**_

_**Do I have anything coming up? You never know. Keep me on alert!**_

_**Thank you for reading.**_

_**Till next time…xoxo**_


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews from last night. I'm so happy you loved the story, and I'm happy you stock with me through the tough times. I hope I gave you the HEA you wanted.**_

_**Let's get to the epi. This starts fifteen years from the adoption.**_

_**\\\**_

32. Epilogue – Forever and Ever, Amen

EDWARD

I was typing away in the study making edits to my latest book. It was a fluffy love story about two young guys who meet in college and fall in love. It wasn't Jasper's and my story, but I won't lie and say I didn't steal a few of our happier moments back in the day. Some of those vignettes were too wonderful to go unwritten, and Jasper had given me permission to use a few of them to make the book lighter than the previous book.

"_The Story of Dan Holt's Madness_" was about an abusive relationship, and writing it had zapped me emotionally and mentally. Jasper put his foot down and said never again was I to write something with so much angst and brutality. It had put a pall over my moods…mostly our sex life…and I promised him I wouldn't. Whether I'd keep the promise was anyone's guess.

Our life had been more than either of us ever dreamed back in college. With every valley, there were multiple peaks. Neither of us had any complaints. We just thanked the heavens every day with the blessings with which we'd been showered.

I heard the front door slam, _hard, _so I hurried out of the office and down the hall to see our daughter, Katie, stomp through the foyer to the living room. She slammed her book bag on the floor, and actually stomped her foot. I was trying to hold the laugh because she had a hell of a temper, but Jake, the goof, wasn't deterred.

"A little hissy fit? Yeah, you're old enough to be sucking face with a boy at school. You tell that boy, Garrett, was it? You tell him your big brother was just drafted by the Seahawks, and I'll use him as a tackling dummy if I ever pull up to that school and see him gnawing on your face again."

I chuckled a little, remembering back to how Katie came to be. It was truly a surprise to all of us.

"_Aunt Rose is on the phone!" Jake yelled out the backdoor. Jasper and I were planting some bushes in the backyard of our new home. We'd decided to move to a bigger place with a basement so Jake could have a place to have friends over while not driving us crazy. _

_It was the next May after the adoption was final, and the contractor was coming on Monday to look at the unfinished basement to price out making it into a family room complete with a home theater and gaming area. I was as excited about it as Jake, to be honest. He and I loved to watch Premier League Soccer together, and with the size television I was planning to buy, it would be like we were sitting right there next to the field._

"_I'll be right back, babe. Can you unwrap the rest of the bushes and place them in the holes? I'll be back to help fill in. Want something to drink?" Jasper asked. We'd had an unseasonably warm snap, so we were doing some landscaping. I wished to hell we'd have hired someone, but Jasper said we'd enjoy it more if we did it ourselves. He could talk me into buying ice in Alaska. _

_I leaned forward to kiss his neck before I responded, "Lemonade, please?" The taste of Jasper and good, old-fashioned sweat…better than the finest champagne._

_He hurried inside and I went back to work, wiping my face with my t-shirt after I took it off. Jake walked out of the house to hand me a glass of lemonade, and his face was troubled. "What's wrong, son?" I asked._

_He shook his head and looked up at me, shielding his eyes from the surprising sunshine. "Dad's in the kitchen with his head down on the table crying into the phone. Is somebody sick in the family? I'm always last to know."_

_I had no idea what was going on, so I hurried inside, handing Jake the shovel, and I found Jasper exactly as Jake had described. I jerked the phone from him to find out what was going on. "Jay, come on, it's not that big a deal. It's not like I'm gonna use them," I heard Rosalie say with a sniffle._

"_Rose, what's going on? Jasper's in a state and Jake's worried someone died. Is it your parents?" I asked. Part of me hoped it was that nasty old JR getting his date with the devil, but I quickly doused those thoughts so as not to cash some of my Karma chips before I really needed them._

_I heard her giggle, and I was relieved immediately. "I told Jasper I was upset with him because he hadn't asked me if I'd be an egg donor before the two of you went out and started looking at random women. Em and I don't want children anytime soon, if ever, Edward, and Jasper told me about Bree, so I told him I'd be an egg donor for you two. I think a baby with my egg and your baby making magic juice would be just about as close to you and Jay having a love child. Is he okay?" she asked, concern evident._

_We had been shopping, as Jasper put it, for a surrogate and an egg donor after a few conversations with Tyler and much discussion between the two of us. We'd immediately put aside all the women in our lives because we didn't want things to be awkward. The baby would be mine and Jasper's, and we didn't want to have someone we knew believing they had a claim on it because they'd donated an egg._

_We'd secured a wonderful woman, Bree Tanner, who had been a surrogate several times prior, and was more than happy to oblige us. We were looking for a donor, but every profile we read wasn't right for us. We weren't sure what we were looking for, but we knew we hadn't found it._

"_Rose, thank you, but we didn't want to ask because we didn't want there to be a blurred line regarding the parentage of our child. Bella offered, as did Lauren, but we decided we wanted it to be anonymous," I explained._

_Jasper sat up and took my hand, pulling me onto his lap. "She said she won't give us any problems about it. She'll make an anonymous donation through the clinic and flag it for us. Baby, I want this, please? If there's a chance we can have a precious little boy or girl who is part you and part of someone who's part of me, I want that."_

_Eleven months later, Kathleen Rose was born. She had strawberry blond hair when it filled in, and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. If Jasper and I could have made a child together, it wouldn't have looked any more like a combination of us than our little Katie. Jake loved her, only commenting once that the two of them really didn't look much alike. Billy actually said Alice's Native American roots were more dominant in him, and it was never mentioned again._

"All right. What's going on? Jake, I only asked you to pick her up, not piss her off," I responded to my son, still trying to hold the laughter. He was hiding his smirk, and if he lost it, I'd crack up with him. Katie's fits were epic.

Jacob Brandon Whitlock was a renaissance man, to say the least. He had a master's degree in information security, getting his love of computers from Jasper, and he had been the starting fullback for the Huskies, redshirting his first year so he could play his fifth year while he finished his masters.

He went into the draft ranked high and was drafted in the fourth round by the Seattle Seahawks. He was graduating from his program in a week, having moved all his crap back home until he was able to find a place of his own. Jasper and I were busting our buttons over his accomplishments, though none of them were a surprise to us. We'd raised the boy.

Katie wheeled on me. "Poppy, I've never been so humiliated in my life. Jacob pulled up in that piece of crap car he drives and honked at me just when Garrett was getting ready to ask me for a date. He kissed my cheek when I said yes, and Jake jumped out of the car and yelled at him. Garrett was so freaked out, he ran away…literally. Make Jake apologize and promise not to do it again," she demanded.

I took a deep breath. "Kathleen, you know Dad and I already said Garrett was too old for you. You're fourteen years' old and that boy's seventeen. There's no way you're going on a date with him. We've had this discussion," I reminded.

"That asshole is seventeen and he's chasing my baby sister who's just fourteen? I'm gonna kick his ass," Jacob yelled as he headed for the door just as Jasper walked in. I was fucking grateful to have backup. Jasper loved our kids more than anything, but he was hesitant to put his foot down with them.

Over the years, our roles had shifted between which of us was more dominant in our relationship at the time. Neither of us controlled every aspect of our life, but we each had pieces over which we were territorial. The kids were my territory at the moment because of Katie's tender age and aggressive nature, and Jasper backed me one-hundred percent as long as he didn't come out being the bad guy.

"Whoa! Where are _you_ going?" he asked as Jacob stopped in front of him.

"I'm going back to the high school to kick that Garrett kid's ass and show him how pedophiles are treated in prison. My sister isn't goin' out with a seventeen-year-old horn dog," Jake snapped before he hurried around Jasper and out the door.

"You should have stopped him, Love. He'll end up in jail," I chastised as I headed toward the door.

Jasper laughed. "He's not goin' anywhere. My truck is blockin' his car. What happened now? I thought we…"

Katie rushed into the kitchen when she heard Jasper's voice. He was wrapped around her little finger, much like me, but unlike me, he couldn't always see the forest for the trees when it came to our daughter. I believed if left to her own devices, she'd be knocked-up at sixteen. Most of the time he believed me to be too strict, but after she went to bed, we'd discuss it…fight about it at times…and then the next day we presented a united front on most issues. When it came to boys…we were on the same fucking page.

"Daddy, make him lighten up. Garrett's only just turned seventeen. He's going to be a junior next year and I'll be a sophomore. It's only one year," she complained.

I let out a huge sigh, wishing we'd recorded the first very first conversation on the matter so we didn't have to continue to have it again; just play it back for her. I was about to start up again when Jasper placed his hand on my arm. He smiled at me tenderly and then turned to Katie.

"Shortcake, I believe you and Poppy have had this discussion before…multiple times. You're a freshman because you skipped a grade. Garrett's a sophomore because he flunked a grade. It's not a year, it's three. You're not going on a date with anyone for two years, and that's final, my darling daughter. How was your Algebra final?" he asked.

That was Jasper's superpower. He could lay down the law and change the subject without it ending in tears. When I tried, all hell broke loose. I had much better luck with Jake. He and I seemed to understand each other, and we talked shit out. It worked well.

A few minutes later, Jake walked inside with a million-dollar smile. "Shoulda known," he announced before he went upstairs to his room. Katie went up to her room, slamming the door, leaving my husband and me in the living room alone.

I crossed the floor to him and kissed him gently, caressing the back of his neck with my fingers. Our sex life was still amazing even though there had been several times, one of which was a time when Katie was a baby, that it was nearly non-existent. Nowadays, with me working from home and Jasper still running _Thorn_, we had more freedom to plan amazing lunchtime rendezvous to connect. Life was perfectly chaotic and I loved every minute of it.

"My night to cook. What would you like, gorgeous?" I asked.

He smiled. "The kids can order pizza. I'm taking my husband out. Did you forget what today is?" he asked. I glanced at my watch, seeing it was the anniversary of the day I walked into _Thorn Publishing_ for a meeting with Lillian McCarty, a/k/a, Rosalie.

That meeting led to Jasper and I reconnecting, although contentiously at first, but that meeting led to the most amazing future I'd have never envisioned. Letting go of the hate and forgiving Jasper for what happened one day many years prior brought me more love and happiness than I ever envisioned.

"I'll go change. I love you, Jasper."

Before I was able to walk away, Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms, kissing me gently. "Edward Whitlock, I love you with all my heart. Change and let's let those two work things out. You know they love each other more than anything. This fight won't last long, but we don't need to be around to referee."

I laughed and hurried up to our room, avoiding the shouting going on in Jake's. They'd figure it out. They always did.

##

_Seven Year's Later_

I stood in the anteroom with my son as he paced. He was nervous, and I understood why. Marriage was a big deal. I remembered when I got engaged to his father. It was a huge deal. I was a hot mess, just as much as Jacob was at that moment, but the funny thing was, it wasn't Jacob's wedding…it was his sister's.

"Son, take a breath. He'll be here," I reminded.

Jake exhaled and cracked his neck. The man…because he was far from a boy…was a mountain. He'd grown to six-feet, five-inches, and my best guess would be he weighed at least two-fifty. It was all muscle, for damn sure, and he'd been MVP for the Seahawks two years out of the last seven.

His latest dilemma was whether he wanted to retire on a high note or stick around and risk injury. He was thirty-one, and had thankfully been saved from injury during his career. I knew he was weighing a lot of factors regarding retirement, and Jasper and I were supporting him as much as possible.

"Pop, I have a bad feeling about this. I know Katie's making a mistake, but she loves that bastard. I can't…I don't want to be the one to make her unhappy."

That caught my attention. We were speaking in low tones, but something was obviously going on, so I grabbed Jake by the arm and led him outside to a garden off the side of the church. Once we were seated on a concrete bench, I turned to him. "What's going on, son?"

He took a deep breath and let it go. He rolled his neck again, and then he turned to look me in the eye. "Last night, Garrett showed up at the condo after the rehearsal dinner. I was still dressed because I was having a beer. I gotta start watching my diet because I'm due at training camp in two weeks, so I decided to have a beer for old-time's sake."

I nodded. "Jake, son, this isn't about your diet. Quit stalling. What happened when Garrett showed up at the condo?"

He sighed. "I let him in and offered him something to drink. We were standing in the kitchen and I asked him what was wrong. '_I'm not sure I can go through with it Jake. I love your sister, but I'm in love with you,'_ he told me. Pop, I was stunned. I mean, I'm way too old for him, and let's not forget I have someone with whom I'm in love. He left in a huff when I told him nothing was ever gonna happen, and I don't think he's gonna show today," Jake explained.

He was getting upset, so I walked inside the church and sought out the one person I was sure could calm him. I pecked the shoulder and saw the smile. "Hi, Pop. How's Katie?"

I smiled. "Jasper's with her. I need you to come talk to the best man. There's a problem. When did you get back into town?" I asked as we made our way out of the church.

"I got away last night and got to the condo at about two this morning. Jakey was passed out on the couch, not surprisingly. I know he's not looking forward to Katie getting married, but he's never been very accepting that she's grown up, has he? I know he still thinks of her as that little girl who's always worshiped him, and I know he thinks she's too young to get married, but Pop, she's twenty-one. She'll graduate in December ahead of schedule, and Jake's just gonna have to accept it. You and Dad seem to have adjusted. Jakey needs to accept it as well."

I took a deep breath. I knew something no one else had been privy to because Katie knew she could tell me anything and I'd help her through it. It had been the same way when she was trying to pick her major, and fortunately, the latest news wouldn't impact her graduation. Unfortunately, the groom not showing up would put a big wrench in the plans.

"Go talk to Jake. I need to talk to Dad and Katie. I'll be back. Don't let him feel bad about any of this, okay?" I asked. I got a nod and turned to go inside. I went to the bride's room and knocked on the door.

Jasper opened and stepped outside. "I saw you outside with Jake. He's upset and Garrett hasn't showed up. What's going on? Rose, Esme, and Mary are keeping her busy. She doesn't know he's not here. What's going on?"

I led him away from the door and down the hall to the men's room. After I locked the door, I turned to my Jasper. "I love you. You know that beyond the shadow of a doubt, Jasper."

He nodded. "Of course. Quit stalling."

"It seems Garrett is in love with Jake. He went to the condo last night after the rehearsal dinner and confessed it. Jake told him nothing would ever happen between them, but I don't think Garrett's gonna show," I explained.

Jasper shook his head. "I knew something wasn't right, Edward. I should have asked more questions of the guy. I'm usually more intuitive about things like that, but this one…I didn't see it coming."

What I had to tell him next wasn't going to be well-received, but he needed to know the whole truth. "Jasper, Katie's pregnant. She told me a few weeks ago. We didn't tell you because we just wanted to get through the wedding, knowing how much you hate Garrett. She's about seven weeks. I'm not sure how we tell her this news without the possibility of an adverse impact on the baby," I told him.

Jasper began pacing as he was known to do, and then he looked up at me with a bright smile. "We're gonna be Grandpas! God, this is fantastic. It'll be so much better if we don't have that fuckwit, Garrett, around. We can help Katie with everything, and when the day comes and she meets Mr. Right, he'll love that little baby the way you loved Jacob.

"Speaking of which, where is he?" Jasper asked.

"He's outside on a bench with Paul. I think they're hashing through what happened, so maybe we give them some time. We need to break this to our daughter, Jasper."

My husband leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips. "You do know, don't you, I'd never do this with anyone else. I know this will be trying, but baby, you and me? We can do anything," Jasper teased.

I looked at him and saw the silver in his hair, just as he saw in mine. We were forty-nine, and while I wasn't sure if we were ready to help our daughter raise her baby, I knew we'd find the strength somewhere. It was the way we took care of our family.

A few minutes after we left the men's room, Rose walked out of the bride's room, leaving Katie with her friends to fuss over her. "He's not coming, is he?"

"How'd you know?" Jasper asked.

She sighed. "I've always suspected he only dated Katie to be near Jacob. I saw how he was looking at Jake last night, and without Paul there to run interference, I was worried. What are you two gonna do?"

I was happy she didn't include herself in the equation, but then, she never had. Rose and Emmett never had their own children, stating they were content with the life they'd made for themselves. She, however, had only been Aunt Rose for Katie. She'd even gone so far as to beg us never to tell Katie she was the donor. She was much more comfortable as the aunt, and we were more comfortable as well. Katie had never asked about her mother, thankfully.

"Well, I guess we do what we've always done. We have a family meeting and we sort it out," Jasper offered.

At the end of the day, Emmett went into the church to announce the wedding was off. The groom's parents were as surprised as anyone else. Katie wasn't as devastated as I thought she might be, and she begged that we not leak the pregnancy. She was prepared to raise the baby on her own…well, with our help because we weren't going anywhere. She didn't seem to care Garrett wouldn't be there. She said, "With all you guys around, I won't need more help." She was right on that account.

##

On Valentine's Day of the next year, we welcomed Edward Jacob Whitlock. He was a beautiful boy with Katie's strawberry blonde hair. He weighed seven pounds and five ounces, and he didn't even cry when he was born.

Jasper and I stood at the nursery window with Jake and Paul, watching the nurse settle EJ, as he was to be called. Katie was asleep because she'd had a c-section, but the men in her life were looking out for that little boy.

"He looks like he might be doctor material," I stated, thinking about Uncle Carlisle who we'd lost earlier in the year. We missed him very much.

Jasper laughed. "Naw, I think he's gonna take over _Thorn_ after he gets out of college. I'll work him from the ground up, but he'll grow the company, just you wait and see."

Jacob laughed and stepped between us. "Dad, Pop, with all of us in his life, he can be anything he wants to be, right? I mean he'll have the support of the best family in the world, so the kid can do anything." On that, we all agreed.

Even with our ups and downs over the years, I was truly grateful. I thanked the heavens every day for my family, and I made sure everyone in my life knew what they meant to me. I'd spent ten years withdrawing from people when I was young, only allowing those in who fought the hardest.

Fortunately, I wised up and spent the better part of my life embracing people and making sure they knew I loved them and they were important to me. Since reconnecting with Jasper, I'd found more happiness than I thought possible.

I looked forward to loving these people in my crazy life and enjoying myself for however long I had left on the planet. Their happiness was my mission, and I was definitely a man on a mission.

With Jake and Katie grown up and out on their own, I was looking forward to the future with the man of my dreams. I was sure it was going to be bright, and when any of us messed up, I knew the rest of us would forgive the shortcoming. Forgiveness was the foundation of our family. Without it, we wouldn't be a family.

THE END

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_**E/N: One last hurdle for our boys…and their girl. Hope I did it justice.**_

_**JSYK, yes, Jake ended up being gay. I'm thinking about maybe writing a short Jacob/Paul story to highlight their journey, but I haven't settled on the best way to approach it. If I do, I'll let you know.**_

_**Again, thank you for reading. I'll miss you!**_

_**For the last time…xoxo**_


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